Squamata Corvidae

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Nor do I own Pokemon or Doctor Who. While I'm at it, I don't own any of Edgar Allen Poe's work. I do, however, own Loki, Athena, and associated characters. Put it this way: if you recognize them from somewhere, they aren't mine.

Okay, before I get started on my tale, let's get something straight. I know Hogwarts is in Britain and that they all speak in British accents (unless you are British, in which case we speak in American accents). And yes, I am American. Moved here when I was eight. But you can't live in a country for long without picking up their mannerisms. Thus, the way I write will probably be a weird mishmash of British English and American English. Just so you know.

Okay. Now that that's out of the way…

My name is Loki Silthren.

…yes, that's really my name.

I'm not kidding you. My dad not only inflicted a weird last name on me, he also inflicted a weird first name on me.

How he got my mom to agree to it, I will never know.

That's not the only thing he gave me. There are two very important things that I got from him. Without them, I would not be where I am today.

But I seem to be getting ahead of myself. Like waaaayy ahead of myself for one of them. Well, sort of.

Whatever. I'll get to them eventually, I'm sure. I'll might have one done by the end of this chapter! Until then (or whenever I manage to get to it), bear with me.

So, as I mentioned, moved to Britain when I was eight.

No offence or offense (whichever), Brits, but it was the worst thing that happened to me. Or so I thought when it happened. Imagine moving from Britain to America, where you know no one and you stand out. You get the picture, I'm sure.

Thus, it makes sense that my only friend in Britain was also from America.

Athena Talon. We share weird names in common, but that wasn't what brought us together.

No, we were just victims of the same bullies at our school.

Aside from American-ness, Athena was picked on because she was doing college-level work and spent most of her spare time in the library.

Me? I was just a smart-alec American.

Although I think that the weird things that happened around us when we were bullied contributed to the problem.

My tormentors found reptiles in their hair, were afflicted with hissing noises whenever they opened their mouths, and their shoes would turn into snakeskin. Athena's had books fall on them under mysterious circumstances, found themselves only able to say "Nevermore", and had black feathers sprout from their foreheads.

One would think that that would discourage most people, but our bullies were the sort who got angry, not scared, when faced with the unexplainable.

So, by the merits of our shared victimhood, we became friends.

Of course, we weren't the only ones picked on. But our fellow victims weren't too companionable. There was a tattletale that no one liked, a girl who would have joined our tormentors if it weren't for truly horrendous acne, and a really creepy dude who kept pet scorpions on his shoulder, in his bookbag, and, rumor has it, in his socks.

So we were the only ones with even a semblence of normality.

Of course, we were fairly different in many ways. I couldn't follow what she said when she talked about her schoolwork (her real schoolwork, not the work our teachers assigned), and she couldn't comprehend why I liked to study people. To her, machines or living organisms (well, I suppose humans are living organisms, but you know what I mean) were far more interesting.

Even bullies are interesting to me, in some ways. If only to find out why they're world-class jerks. So I'd snoop around and try to find out tidbits about people so that I could understand them.
Of course, this didn't help the bully situation at all for two reasons. They'd catch me snooping, and the tidbits I picked up had a tendency to slip out when they caught me.

It's interesting how someone tends to hate you because you let slip (in retaliation for a beating)

that he still sleeps with a teddy.

Anyway, I digress. Where was I? Oh yeah, Athena and me.

There were a few things that we could agree on. The library is awesome, even if she reads big, complicated-looking technology and biology books where I prefer fiction and psychology. Pokemon is an awesome video game, despite my preference for Mystery Dungeon and Ranger and hers for the mainstream games.

And if there's one thing Britain has going for it, it's the Doctor Who TV show.

She watched it to analyze the techonology and the alien species. I watched it for plot and to try to understand the motivations of everyone in there. But we could watch it together and make comments to each other, and even if we didn't understand the comments, we could appreciate a shared interest.

We were watching Doctor Who when it happened.

It was the storyline where the Master returns and manages to take over the world before his conquering was retroactively erased and he was killed.

Yeah, long story.

Anyway, I was psychoanalyzing the Master's wife and Athena was trying to figure out exactly how it was psysiologically possible that Captain Jack Harkness couldn't permanently die (long story there, too), when the owl came through the open window (it was a hot day with a nice breeze).

It flew straight to Athena and dropped a letter in her lap. And then it perched on the couch arm and hooted softly, eyes riveted on the TV.

"Well, that's peculiar," I remarked, puzzled, as Athena opened the letter and began reading it. "I suppose owls could be trained to carry letters; after all, they did it with carrier pigeons. But training it to do it during the day? That'd be hard to do." I peered at the brown-and-white owl peering at the TV. "And I'm sure that owls don't watch Doctor Who."

"Genetically altered, perhaps," Athena volunteered. "Unless these people who sent the letter are telling the truth…"

"You do realize I haven't read the thing yet, so I don't know what you're talking about?"

"Oh. Sorry." She handed me the letter.

It read:

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chief Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

Dear Ms. Talon,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Minerva McGonagall,

Deputy Headmistress

In case you care, that big thing in italics was in cursive, but I'm using a computer to type this up (for you wizards that don't know what a computer is, refer to Babbage's excellent book Understanding Muggle Culture; in fact, it'll probably be helpful for understanding what video games and TV shows are as well) and it won't do cursive. I settled for font 16 and italics.

Anyway.

After I read the thing, I had quite a few questions.

Oddly, the first one out of my mouth was "What the heck is a Mugwump?"

Five seconds later, Athena was at her computer looking it up on Merriam-Webster.

"Best fit for the context seems to be an independent in politics," she informed me.

"Oh. And here I thought it was some weird wizard term. Guess it's just a weird term," I said sarcastically.

"I wonder…if I give the owl a letter, will it go back to this Hogwarts place?" wondered Athena.

"You seriously think this is real?" I asked incredulously. "It's probably just an exceptionally clever way for salesmen to bilk us out of our money!"

"Aimed at specifically at eleven-year-olds?" Athena said with a raised eyebrow.

"Ms. Talon could be your mom."

In response to this, she held up the envelope. It said (in bright green ink):

Ms. A. Talon

The Top Bedroom with the Hideous Flowered Wallpaper

11 Drury Lane…

I couldn't read the rest, but it didn't matter, since I knew the rest.

Besides, I was too busy laughing.

It's really only funny if you've seen her bedroom's wallpaper, because "hideous" grossly understates the case. Emphasis on the gross part of "grossly".

Once I had finished expressing my mirth, I changed my tune.

"Well, they at least know you fairly well," I said. "No salesman would know about your wallpaper."

"Aside from you and my parents, no one sees my room," Athena pointed out.
"Still not buying the wizard thing."

"My mum might know if this is genuine," mused Athena. "If this place is real, she'd probably know about it if there was a chance I'd be going…"

"And if it's a big practical joke and your mum's in on it?" I demanded.

"That's why you're coming with me to ask."

"Huh?"

She sighed. "Look, you know when people are lying. I don't know how you do it, but dishonesty never slips past you. Without you, it'd be a problem. With you…"

She had a point. I did have an instinct for that sort of thing; spotting miniscule clues that say that someone's not being honest, sensing nervousness, et cetera.

"All right then. Let's go interrogate your mom."

"Mum? Can we ask you a few questions?" We had decided that Athena would do the talking to begin with, to allow me to use my full attention to figure out what her mum was really thinking.

Her mom turned away from the dishes in the sink. "I think I can spare a few moments."

"I got a letter from a school called Hogwarts," she said without preamble. "They claim to be a school of magic. Do you know anything about them?"

Her breath quickened slightly, she got a lot more tense, and her eyes flicked towards me.

"No…never heard of them…"

"Loki?"

"Lying," I said without hesitation. "I think it's because of me, though. She'd probably admit to knowing them if I wasn't in the room."

Mrs. Talon looked a lot more scared now, and I heard her mumble something that sounded like "Legimancy" under her breath.

"What, trying to magic me?" I demanded. I was fairly confident that magic existed now; her reactions confirmed it. She was nervous when Hogwarts was mentioned, because of me. And her reaction confirmed it. She was hiding something, and she was too nervous for it to be a practical joke. The most likely explanation, I admit it, was that the letter was genuine.

Now that that was established, though, there was no point in being surprised. At least, not so others could see. If we were to get any useful info, we had to remain in control of the interview, and visible surprise on my part would put the ball in Mrs. Talon's court.

"No, I'm not trying to magic you," she assured me. A quick movement into her pocket, and I dodged to the left as she pulled a stick on me and yelled "Obliviate!" Since nothing happened to me, I could only assume the spell had missed because I had dodged.

Might still be a great big hoax, part of my mind pointed out. I squelched that thought. If it was a hoax, Mrs. Talon had been taken in by it, too, and she wasn't particularly gullible, though she was a bit headstrong.

"Now I'm using magic on you," she said.

I didn't have time to laugh, because I had to dodge another Obliviate.

"Mum? What are you doing?"

Panting, she replied, "Statute of Secrecy. Non-wizards aren't supposed to know about us. Obliviate!"

Again she missed, and I wasn't about to give her another shot. My next dodge gave me an excellent opportunity to trip her, which I proceeded to do. She dropped the wand and it spun under the refridgerator. Fortunately, she didn't hit her head on anything hard.

"Mum! Are you-?"

"Fine, I'm fine," she said. I was relieved. I hadn't really wanted to hurt her.

Athena rounded on me, unusually upset. "What'd you have to do that for!"

"What, I'm not allowed to keep myself from being obliviated?" I retorted. "I've a right to defend my life!"

"Technically, you were defending your memory," Athena's mom pointed out as she clambered up from the floor. "It was just a Memory Charm, to keep you from remembering anything about Hogwarts."

"So you admit it exists, then?" I challenged.

"Haven't got many options at the moment, do I?" she pointed out. "Can't really do anything without my wand, can't even call in backup." She shook her head, grinning for some reason. "I must admit, that was a good move, Loki. Caught me completely off-guard."

"Save your flattery," I told her. "Besides, did it ever occur to you that I might be a wizard too? Meaning that my memory doesn't need to be wiped."

When I said it, it was a bluff. But as I thought about it, it seemed more and more likely. If Athena was magic, then it followed that those weird things that happened around her were a result of that magic. I had weird things happening as well, so it also follows that I might be magic.

She sighed. "No. I suppose I should save wiping your memory until I know I have to."

As if on cue, another owl (this one silvery-white) swooped in through the window, dropped a letter on my head, and perched on the counter.

I picked up the envelope. Sure enough, in that same script with the same green ink, it read:

Mr. L. Silthren

The Cellar Bedroom

13 Drury Lane…

I didn't bother to read the rest. I ripped open the envelope. And again, I saw that admission letter.

"Well, that settles it, I suppose," Mrs. Talon said. "I'll just be getting my wand now, not that I'll be wiping your memory now…assuming I can get it out from under the fridge…the wand, not your memory, your memory wouldn't be under the fridge, would it?"

I didn't care whether she retrieved her wand at that point, although I did note that she was babbling, a bit unusual for her.

"I'm a wizard, then," I said quietly to Athena. "And you're a witch."

"It would appear so," she agreed.

My parents took the news without comment.

That, in itself, is not exactly news.

See, my parents aren't especially chatty. Their work is top-secret, and I think that all that top-secret work has affected their desire to talk at all. They rarely speak, and even when (as then) we were all at the dinner table (a rare event), it usually passes almost as quietly as when I'm the only one there.

It was annoying, because they were the two people that I knew the least about. I love them, don't get me wrong, but it seems a bit wrong that I know the people who try to beat me up on a regular basis better than I know my own parents.

Tonight it was especially annoying. For all I knew, they were magic and had just never told me, or they weren't and knew about it, or they didn't know and were hiding their surprise well.

I was startled out of my thoughts by Mum's voice.

"We'll shop tomorrow."

To anyone else, the statement was too cryptic to be understood well. Eleven years of living with my parents has given me good interpetive abilities when it came to them, however; I got "I'll be taking you to shop for Hogwarts school supplies tomorrow" out of those three words. It also indicated that they knew where to go and thus were wizards, although I couldn't rule out the possiblity that a wizard had stopped by while I was at Athena's house and told them where to go.

"When?" I asked.

"Ten."

By that, I gleaned ten in the morning.

I nodded in response (responce?) and we finished dinner in silence.

I woke up around 12:12 AM for some reason.

I sat up, unreasonably nervous. I didn't know why I had woken, but there was something, an instinct warning me that something was wrong, something was-

-flying towards my chest and I only barely avoided it by falling backwards onto my bed.

The thing punctured my pillow (I noted that someone was wielding it. A knife, maybe?).

I kicked upwards instinctively and heard a gasp as the air was forced out of someone's lungs. To his or her credit, he or she recovered quickly and tried to stab again, but I was up and moving by then. The bed lurched as both the intruder and I stepped on it; our balance was shaky at best.

"Who are you?" I asked, not expecting an answer. Indeed, I didn't get one.

Instead, he lunged again, not stabbing but launching himself towards me…

…and I was tackled off of the bed and we were in a deadly brawl.

He was winning by far; he was an adult and a lot stronger than me. Sheer luck caused him to bash his head on the bedframe and I was up and away from him before he recovered.

I mentally catalogued my wounds. Bruises everywhere, but no cuts. I'd live if this was the worst of it, but I feared that it wasn't.

Times like that, I'm usually right and I usually hate being right.

The intruder got up and I saw three things: he was male, he had a black mask on his face, and the thing he had been trying to kill me with was a wand, but a wand with at least two inches of some sort of white, sharp stuff at the end.

"Avada Kadavra!" he yelled, pointing his wand at me; green light shot out of the wand, but I was already on the floor. Something broke behind me, probably a window.

The man cursed under his breath, waved his wand, and my bed blew up. He began walking towards me, but carefully, stepping over the glass.

Subtly, I began reaching for something, anything useful, as he approached.

And the intruder spoke.

"You're dead," he said, looking down at me as he reached me. "I'm disappointed. I'd have thought that Silthren's son would have put up more of a fight." He pointed his wand…

…and I stabbed him in the ankle with the shard of glass I had picked up.

"ARGH!" He fell, keeping ahold of his wand; but with his mind on the pain, it wasn't hard to wrench the wand away from him.

I scrambled up and away from him, aiming the wand at him as I did.

"The tables have turned, it would seem," I said, surprised at how cold my voice was. "Now, who are you and why are you-."

He vanished on the spot.

"-here?"

Drat.

I nearly went to get my parents, but then I remembered that they had left after dinner; some sort of inconveniently scheduled meeting at work. They wouldn't be here for a few hours.

At the same time, I'd never be able to sleep, either.

"Might as well see if I can make you work, then," I said to the wand, half-expecting it to answer. Weirder things had happened since yesterday.

The wand didn't, though.

I noticed that the white bit at the end contrasted with the wand's darker body (what color the dark part was, I couldn't tell; too dark).

I gave it an experimental wave.

Green and silver sparks flew from the wand's tip, more green than silver; the sparks eventually coalesced into a green snake with silver eyes. Just as my eyes got used to the sudden brightness, they vanished, leaving me seeing afterimages of snakes.

"Cool," I said to myself. "One less thing to buy tomorrow."