A/N: If you haven't read They don't know, then you might get a little confused. It's okay if you don't though. Please enjoy!

This story starts in Crosby Minnesota. On a normal day in this small town, you'd see four teenage boys skating at the pond or at the local ice rink. The same boys who make up a quite popular band called Big time rush. They were had been given the month off by their producer and decided it'd be best to go back home for a while. So that's what they did, they packed up their suitcases and went home for a couple weeks. They loved going home to see their families again. Well, almost all of them.

See not long before the boys left for California, Logan had admitted to have been harming himself. Nearly every day he would hide out in his bedroom with only a razor blade and what little sanity he had left. He felt so alone that hurting himself more seemed like the only thing that would work.

It seemed to solve everything, until he got caught. His best friend Kendall had come over one afternoon to talk to him and caught him in the act. He made Logan tell him everything as well as making the brunette haired boy promise that he wouldn't hurt himself again.

Today wasn't a normal day. Instead today you would find Logan Mitchell a sobbing mess in his bathroom at home, holding a razor blade for the first time in over a year.

In all honesty he didn't mean to. His mom had said something harsh that sparked his urges again. It was the constant put downs and beating from bullies at school that gave him the idea in the first place. Normally he would just take a deep breath and calm down, but for whatever reason that didn't work today.

"What the hell have I done?" Logan muttered looking down at his arms. He hadn't done too much damage, only a couple cuts on each arm. They were up far enough though that anyone who'd look at his arms would notice they were there.

Logan picked up a sweatshirt off his floor on slipped it on over his head. Even though his mom was at work, his friends were known to drop by whenever the felt the need to. He figured he could just keep this on for couple of days until the cuts healed. That way he wouldn't have to tell anyone what he did.

When he walked downstairs he found his friend James sitting on his couch. He stopped almost instantly feeling his blood run cold with a new found fear.

"W-What are you doing here?" Logan asked timidly.

James turned around and looked at him as he got off the couch. "It's Friday… Carlos, Kendall and I always come over on Friday. Please tell me you didn't forget our tradition."

"No no, it just… slipped my mind sorry."

"Why are you wearing a sweatshirt?"

"I just felt like it."

"Why are your eyes all red, have you been crying?" he asked taking a step forward. He looked at Logan really hard for a while. James could tell something was up. "Roll up your sleeves."

"Why?"

"Because I'm worried about you, now roll them up."

"James I-." James didn't want to hear the rest of the sentence. He took one last step forward closing the gap between him and Logan. James grabbed his friends arms quickly rolled up his sleeves.

He was met with angry red cuts on both arms. James gasped and looked up at his friend. Logan kept his head down tried his hardest not to cry. James saw this and quickly wrapped his arms around his friend as tight as possible. Logan caved in and let his emotions take over him as he dropped to the floor, taking James along with him. He sobbed and sobbed like a little boy, but he didn't care. He was sad, he wanted to cry. He felt safe in the arms of his friend; he didn't want to be alone any more.

"Hey Logan, we're… here." A small Latino started to yell then stopped once he saw his friends on the floor.

James and Logan both looked up to see Kendall and Carlos standing there both looking quite confused.

"Are we late or…"

"No," James said standing up, pulling Logan up along with. "I was early. I'm glad I was too."

"James." Logan said.

"Please tell me you didn't." Kendall said staring at Logan, his voice faltering slightly. It then Logan realized that his sleeves were still up. His scars were visible for the whole world to see if they wanted too.

"Kendall I-." Kendall cut him off before he had a chance to explain.

"You promised." He whispered.

"I know."

"You promised! How could you?"

"Kendall I know and I'm so sorry! Just please let me explain-."

Kendall didn't want to stay to hear the rest of it. Instead he ran out the front door and all the way home. Leaving his sad friend with nothing but a broken heart.

Eventually the boys had to return to L.A, which they did. Kendall refused to talk to Logan, not even on the plane ride back. Kendall could hardly look at him without wanting to cry. His best friend had broken his promise, and an important one at that. He didn't want to see Logan so sad, it hurt him too.

That night after they got back Logan decided that enough was enough. He was going to talk to Kendall whether he liked it or not. Logan watched his blonde friend stand up from the table at dinner without so much as an 'Excuse me'. Logan waited a minute before he got up and followed Kendall into his room. Seeing that he wasn't on his bed, Logan assumed that he was in the bathroom.

"Kendall, its Logan we need to talk." He said knocking on the door. Having received no answer he tried opening the door, only to find it locked. His worry was beginning to grow.

"Kendall, c'mon this isn't funny, open up." No answer. "Dude you're scaring me just open the damn door." Still no answer from Kendall.

Now Logan was beyond scared. He took two steps back then with all his might, kicked the door as hard as he could. The lock snapped and the door opened. Logan wanted to cry and scream and vomit at all the same time. Kendall was sitting on floor in the bathroom, he drooped forward and blood covering his arms. Logan looked closer and saw a small broken razor sitting beside him.

"James! Carlos! Somebody help!" Logan got down on his knees and quickly pulled his bleeding friend into his lap. He heard a small groan and looked down at the blonde mess in his arms.

"Kendall? Can you hear me? Please answer me." Logan begged.

"Logie?"

Kendall could feel himself falling asleep. He was dizzy and everything sounded fuzzy to him. He was so tired, yet so comfortable from way he was being held. It was like a being wrapped up in a big blanket, nice and warm.

"I need you to stay awake okay? You can't go to sleep."

"What is going… oh my God. Carlos go call an ambulance! Kendall needs help!" James yelled appearing in the doorway. "What happened?" He'd come in after hearing Logan yell for help. Now he was wishing he hadn't.

"I-I don't know, I came in here to talk to him and I found him like this." Logan explained.

"Jamie?"

"What Kendall? What is it?"

"I messed up." Kendall slurred. "Mm tired"

"No no no. You can't go to sleep! We need you stay awake until help gets here."

"I'm sorry."

Kendall let his eyes droop shut despite the protest of his friends. He couldn't stay awake any longer. He was almost completely out of it when felt someone rip him away from Logan and try fixing his wounds.

No he thought I want to stay

After being loaded into an ambulance and driven to a hospital at lightening, he was followed by car by his closest friends. Doctors were able to stop the bleeding only after twenty stitches and six staples. Mrs. Knight, Katie, James, Carlos, and Logan were forced to stay in the waiting room, hoping and praying for good news on their loved one. After a doctor came too give them the news, it was said that Kendall would be kept overnight for observation. He was allowed visitors, but only two at a time. So it was then decided that Katie and Mama Knight would go in first, then James and Carlos, and finally Logan.

Logan was almost afraid to go see his friend. He feared that Kendall would yell at him and tell him to get out. Or even say that they weren't friends any more. He stood outside Kendall's room patiently, nervous and thinking about just what he would say. He heard the door open again and saw his shorter and taller friends standing in front of him.

"He's asking for you." Carlos said. His eyes were red and puffy. He'd spent the last two hours comforting a hysteric Katie and praying that Kendall would okay. Carlos was just as scared as everyone else.

Logan nodded and slowly opened the door to Kendall's room. He held back a sob when he looked at his friend. Kendall's arms were wrapped up in gauze that had spots where the blood had soaked through. He looked two shades paler than usual from the blood loss.

"Hey." The blonde one said.

"Hi." Logan replied. He wasn't sure of what to do so he stayed put by the door and focused on his shoes.

"Are you going to look at me?"

Logan shook his head.

"Why not?"

He looked up at his friend, tears building in his eyes. "You did it." He whispered angrily.

"I know."

"You did it! You went and hurt yourself!What the hell were you thinking? I-I mean, y-you could've told me! I would have helped you! For years I've been trying to make sure nothing awful happens to you, and now it's my fault! This is my entire fault! Why? Why would you-. " Logan had to stop his rant because he was crying too hard to keep speaking. He placed and hand over his mouth to try and cease his painful cries.

"Hey." Kendall said quietly, holding his arms out. "Come here."

Logan crossed the room in three large steps and wrapped his arms around Kendall's waist as if his life depended on it. He buried his head in Kendall's chest and cried. He cried harder than ever before.

"I did it to understand." Kendall said quietly in Logan's ear. "I wanted to understand how you felt. You never told me why you did it again."

"My mom said I was useless. I had broken a glass cup that morning and she said I wasn't good for anything."

"I'm so sorry Logan." Kendall lifted his friends face with his hand and wiped the tears that kept falling. "Next time something happens, I want you to call me and I'll be there in minutes. If I don't answer then I want to walk until you find me. Instead of hurting yourself I want you to keep fighting. Can you do that for me?"

Logan nodded and hugged his friend again. The two boys lied down on the small bed and fell asleep within minutes.

Now we end our story in Los Angeles California, a city where all your dreams come true. I think some people forget that nightmares still exist. Logan and Kendall both made mistakes, but now they knew what to do in the future. They'd help each other through everything. there was only one thing they had to do.

Keep fighting.

A/N: I hope you guys liked this. I've been wanting to do another self harm story for a while, so I figured I should do a sequel! Please leave a nice review for me! Have an awesome Saturday!

~B