Disclaimer; Alas, Death note I own not.

L: Of course, that would be most illogical. Someone of your brain capacity could never create such a well thought out manga, it takes someone with skill. Something you do not possess.

So called unskilled author: ….

*BANG*

*L has collapsed miraculously onto the floor*

Hanyou Kyo: Please enjoy! ^_^

Kurai

The night was perfect, my favorite kind. Overcast with clouds and shadow, made even more prominent by the pearly light of the crescent moon. It shone, no more than a slither of light within the dark sky, smirking like a silver smile. These nights sent electricity into my veins. They made my fingers curl with excitement, and it was about time too. I had been waiting long and hard for the damn moon to make it to this stage, and now it was finally here. With a cackle I turned my attention back to my prey.

The human stared at me, realization dawning upon his face. I curved my lips into a sadistic smile as the truth finally set in.

"BUT YOU CAN'T!" he screamed, no longer caring if anyone heard him.

I chuckled, humans could be so amusing.

"I can do anything I like, and besides you are beginning to bore me." I said with an air of disinterest.

Panic streaked his features, creasing his forehead, thinning his lips, whitening his skin. I greedily drank in every detail. I breathed in his fear, his anger, his resentment. I have never tasted something so sweet, so bitter in years. I relished in it. Yes, humans were an excellent source of entertainment, but everything has its time. Now it was his.

With one fluid move I whipped my note out from the cloak encircling me. I held it open on my palm, a black feathered quill poised above an accursed page. Time to die human, I thought gleefully. His face paled further, his half crazed eyes trained on the note. Desperation clawed at his throat, I could smell it. Human emotions are so interesting, wouldn't you agree? Especially the kind that overtake humans. Love, anger, jealously, fear. In my time here I seem to have acquired a taste for all of them, particularly the latter. Well, mother always did say I was a sadist. She'd be so proud if she could see me now.

He laughed nervously, sweat beading on his forehead. He took a step forward and spoke, his eyes never leaving the note. Instinctively I dug my claws into the worn leather, possessiveness kicking in. I do so hate to share.

"Come on Kurai, you won't kill me. I have so much more to show you, surely your just a little bit curious, I'll rob for you, kill, mug, kidnap, I'll do anything!" his voice took on a higher octave of desperation. "So many more emotions, and I'll kill anyone too! Men, women, even children for Christ's sake!" he babbled.

I watched him, feeling my interest dwindle. It always ended like this. Sure, humans were great entertainment when they thought they were safe. That made them unpredictable. But when threatened with death they all acted the same, boring. It wouldn't be long before he started begging.

"PLEASE Kurai!"

Bingo.

I stared at the human before me. Just moments ago he had been brimming with confidence, an arrogant, ego fueled fool. Now he was reduced to a cowering insect, a worm. I felt a flicker of emotion stir inside me. Baffled I concentrated on it, confused as to what it was.

Hate… it was hate.

I felt my eyes widen. I was actually… actually feeling something? But that should be impossible. A Shinigami doesn't feel anything, well except boredom I suppose.

But no, it was definitely there, squirming away. And it wasn't just directed at him, I realized. It was directed at all humans.

I hate all humans… how interesting.

Grinning like a Cheshire cat I began stroking my pen delicately across the page with slow deliberate movements. If I was going to hate humanity, why not make it suffer? Starting with this fool.

He watched in horror as I worked my pen. With a strangled cry he ran at me, spit dribbling down his chin like a rabid dog (minus the floppy ears). His charge ended in vain, passing right through me. I laughed, very much amused. Torturing was a lot more fun then I had counted on it being.

With a flourish I finished his name, and held it up to him.

"Ten seconds…" I sang.

He ran, as I predicted.

"Nine…"

He screamed, just as I predicted.

"Eight…"

He stumbled and fell, just as I predicted.

"Seven…"

His ankle was twisted, but he continued anyway, just as I predicted.

"Six…"

I heard the bone crunch, breaking just as I predicted.

"Five…"

He stopped, eyes suddenly wide. He turned to me, a hand suddenly gripping his chest. I cackled a full blown laugh.

"Looks like I lied." I stated.

With a scream he fell to his knees, ripples of pain constricting his chest. Blood spurted from his mouth, staining the pavement. Oh the pleasure of death. Lazily I made my way over to the human, and stood over him. I lowered my mouth to his ear, sending a chill through his body.

"Have a nice time in Nothing, Akira Dono." I chuckled.

And with that I pulled the note out of his jacket, my note.

"Oh and don't worry bout me pal, I'll be occupied for a long time ridding the earth of humanity's existence, so boredom won't be a problem… for a while at least."

I left, a sickening smile occupying my mouth. This was going to be fun.

Six months later

I watched as the woman fell to the ground, eyes dead and lifeless. The dull thud of her body echoed inside the alleyway. That was my eleventh victim in six months. Hissing under my breath I removed my note from her cold, clammy hands. They weren't dying quick enough. How was I to rid the world of humanity if I kept going at this sluggish pace? No, it wouldn't do. I was already beginning to bore of it anyway. I needed to kill quicker. But that bought me back around to the question of how? I couldn't kill all of them. That would alert the king, and as much as I hated humans I didn't fancy dying. I gulped, gripping my throat.

No, I needed another way. A quick, painless way that left my hands clean. What I needed was a puppet, someone to do my dirty work for me. But what other Shinigami would be willing to do so? We don't interact much, save the occasional gamble. So, that wasn't an option.

I crossed my legs and floated above the dead woman, turning upside down. My forehead creased in concentration, my eyebrows drew together. Come on, think Kurai! You worthless piece of… My thoughts were interrupted by a cry. A high pitched wail that made my eardrums vibrate in protest.

Opening them I spotted the source. A young girl, probably only about sixteen years old (if my sense of human years was anything to go by that is) was walking hurriedly across the street. She was carrying a babe in her arms. The babe was a newborn (that much I could tell) and was really very small. It looked like a scrunched up baby piglet, all pink and wrinkled. I never saw the appeal in… children.

The mother (I'm guessing) was wrapped up tight in a purple raincoat, shivering violently. She was looking around suspiciously at the stream of people passing her, as though to weed out a potential threat. My interest piqued as I floated across the street, heedless of the traffic. Her name was Mai Futo. Her dying date was, 45 years, sixteen months, 46 hours, 22 minutes, and 4 seconds away.

The rain hammered onto her pale skin, turning her lips an icy blue. She had honey brown hair, strewn with wisps of chocolate. Her eyes were deep brown pools which drew you into their depths and left you swirling within the tasty currents of coco goodness. I love chocolate. It's the best damn thing about this world.

The girl turned suddenly, head bent low. I tasted worry, fear, and shame. Enthralled in my discovery of the girl I followed, entering the cool recesses of another alleyway. That's the great thing about cities, there's always a lonely, dark place to drag people to. You'd think people would learn by now and get rid of the things… then again, where's the fun in that?

The girl was hovering over a bin, placed helpfully under a rubbish chute. The dull metal square was brimming with black, plastic bags. The revolting smell of waste hung like a cloud over the bin, attracting flies and… other creatures. Mai glanced down at the babe in her arms, her face strained with shame and sorrow.

"I'm so sorry." she whispered.

Planting a kiss on the babe's head she began to cry, silently. The tears rolled like crystals down her cheeks, mingling with the rain. She placed the babe in the bin, tucking its blanket more securely around it.

And then she ran… as fast as her legs could carry her.

The last thing I saw was her purple raincoat, flapping in the wind.

I smirked. So humans abandoned their own? They really were a sickening race.

I turned to leave, my troubles returning now that my distraction was gone. My brain began flicking rapidly through my options again. I had every intention of just floating away, forgetting everything about the ordeal I had just witnessed.

But then the babe began crying bloody murder.

For one with so little lungs it made a hell of a noise. Eyebrow twitching in irritation I turned to it, knowing full well it could see me. Children up to the age of two can see a Shinigami, a lesson I learned very well on several of my trips into the human world.

I'll never forget that stupid petting zoo, just thinking of those damned dwarfed humans grabbing me made me shudder. Children seemed to think I was a toy at that age, and the mothers certainly didn't like it when an invisible force threw their tykes through the air. The babe grew louder, glaring at me through slit, wrinkled eyes.

Growling I picked it up, dangling it by the leg.

"Well what do ya want?"

The babe stared at me with round eyes, the same shade of brown the mother had owned. I was gonna need another hit at this rate, the cravings were already setting in. I jiggled it by the leg, wondering just what the hell I was supposed to do. The babe laughed. Intrigued I jiggled it again, smiling when it had the same affect. Smirking I threw it into the air, and caught it. This only seemed to entertain it more.

"Brave little thing aren't ya." I murmured.

It stared at me, opening its mouth as if to answer. That's when it hit me, an idea. It was brilliant, absolutely, bloody brilliant. I grinned, tickling the babe's chin.

"I bet your hungry, lets get you something to eat."

I left the babe in the bin, before bobbing around the corner into a convenience store. It was packed full of offers and deals, colours and shapes desperate to entice the humans. Ah, gluttony. Not my favourite sin by far, but one of the more entertaining ones I'll admit. I scanned the shelves, looking for the necessities. Well, before my eyes landed on some hazelnut crunch chocolate bars that is. Yep, the cravings were kicking in.

Chewing loudly on chocolate, I looked around.

Mother always did say I was a pig, she'd be so proud.

A few late night shoppers were mulling about. I spotted a teenage boy nicking alcohol, two old, haggard women buying cigarettes, a withered hobo pushing his trolley around, and a young girl carrying more than half a dozen children. This was humanity at its lowest.

They didn't notice the floating baby bottle, chocolate bar, and the bottle of milk flying pass them. They were too wrapped up in their own pathetic lives. Even the girl behind the counter, a lazy, pierce ridden blonde smacking her lips together over a wad of bubblegum didn't notice. I unwrapped another chocolate bar, stuck a piece on each of my claws and continued to munch. The addictive, warm stuff melted in my mouth, taking over my senses.

Did I mention chocolate is the best bloody thing in this world?

I reached the bin once more, hoping from foot to foot as the brown goodness slithered down my throat. I couldn't help but moan contently, hmmm maybe I was a bit of a glutton. The babe was where I had left it. I waggled the milk at it. "Din dins darlin."

I made up the baby bottle, a challenging aspect in its self when you remember I have four foot long claws.

Then I pulled out my second Death note.

And set a page alight.

And then shoved the ashes into the baby bottle.

I watched in glee as they dissolved. Never knew they did that. I proceeded to feed the babe.

It drank hungrily, heedless of what was passing down its tiny throat. I cackled as loud as I could, my lungs protesting against the unusual strain. This experiment was going to be so much FUN! I popped another hit of chocolate into my mouth, wondering if this is what humans meant by getting high.

After downing the bottles entire contents, the babe burped contently. It looked up questioningly at me, and then held out its arms. I picked the babe up, holding it awkwardly by its wrists. Yes, looking at the babe I knew it would work. This small wrinkled, pink blob was going to become my ultimate weapon.

"Your mine now little one, my experiment, and possibly my solution. You're the solution to the existence of man kind."

And with that I flew high, taking the babe with me. I stared down at the nightlife below in the city, more excited than I've ever been. Well even if I wasn't what humans considered high, I certainly felt it was a good way of describing how I was feeling right now.

"Just wait humans." I growled.

The babe gurgled its agreement.

"I know, I can't wait either." I cackled.

Let the experiment begin.

*Standing triumphantly on table over laptop*

Hanyou Kyo: MUHAHAHA, what do ya think of that L? Kurai is one bad assed Shinigami wouldn't you agree?

*Raises the ice pack from his head, staring at the useless author*

L: … I have read better

*Bang*

Hanyou Kyo: Thanks for reading! ^_^