Hey! Welcome back! You may or may not know that this is a rewrite of a deleted story, the first few chapters are pretty similar so bear with me! If this is your first time reading this, reviews are very much appreciated. Enjoy the story!
I do not own Dan Vs. (unfortunately)
Chris POV (May 27, 2011)
"Dan," Chris warned, "I swear, if you break one thing, I don't care what, you will pay for it with your own money, that's a literal promise." Why did Chris always seem to have to give Dan a disclaimer like this?
Dan snorted and growled in his signature rough voice, "Calm down, I won't break anything. Besides, shut up!" Chris sighed. His wallet felt lighter already. Maybe he can just drop his grouchy friend off on the side of the road. It's not like he wanted to be stuck in the car anyways. After a brief moment of consideration, Chris decided against it. Even though Dan was a nuisance, he was Chris' best friend. And best friends don't leave best friends stranded in the middle of nowhere. At least, not most of the time.
Elise POV
Elise glanced at Dan in the back seat from the passenger side of their small slate-blue van. He mimed a yawn and picked a piece of thread off his black "Jerk" shirt. She smiled to herself. He really was like a big kid. But with kids come chaos. The last time she and Chris took Dan to a store with them, he started a wild goose chase with Chris across the country to try and murder a crazy technology tycoon. Naturally then, Chris' warning was perfectly legitimate.
"Augh!" Dan exclaimed suddenly. "Are we there yet? We've been driving forever! This is taking too long. I could be rearranging my enemies list, and I think I have two new candidates for number one" Dan glared at them as his voice took to the whiney high pitch he adopts every so often and then dropped to a more sinister tone at "I think I have two new candidates for number one." Elise rolled her eyes. The "drop Dan off and run" idea was looking pretty tempting right about now. Crazy how that plan comes up every so often in her conversations with her husband. Elise sighed.
"Dan, we've been driving for-" she checked the digital clock on the dashboard.
"-three and a half minutes. We'll be there in a minute or two." The one thing about Dan, he really made her feel like a mother. A disgruntled whine erupted from the back seat.
"Chriiissss, Elise said we'd be there in a minute or two. She's lying, isn't she?" His voice lowered as he scowled, "Tell your wife to stop lying and tell me the truth! How long will it be?" In an exasperated chorus, Chris and Elise both sighed, saying, "A couple minutes!"
Dan situated himself stiffly in his seat, crossing his arms. "Yeah, right."
-a couple minutes later-
Chris POV
The little car rolled up to Aunt Maggie's Antiques Emporium a couple minutes later.
"Ack, hey guys, that took three minutes, I counted!" Dan cried.
"Dan!" Chris and Elise scolded at the same time. Chris took over. "We just need to run in to sell my great-great grandfather's luck silver arrowhead." Chris looked at the pounded-flat coin in his hand. Man, he's been through hell trying to retrieve that thing. Uhg, the memories. He and his beautiful wife got out of the car and began walking towards the large, pale pink building. Meanwhile, Dan made a show of dragging himself reluctantly out of the car. He jogged to catch up with them. Oh Dan, Chris thought. Don't mess this up.
Dan POV
Poor Mr. Mumbles, Dan thought to himself. All alone and probably bored. Dan sighed, thinking about his favorite little kitty. He glared at the old, run-down building. Oh, the things he does for Chris.
"So, you just need to run in, right?" Dan growled.
"Yeah, Dan. We'll make this as fast as possible. I need to get home. Elise just bought a cake, and…" He grinned, not even attempting to finish the sentence. Chris' love of food takes advantage of him again.
"Yeah, uh-I'll just let you guys go." Dan decided. They were at the door by then. Chris and Elise walked to the counter, while Dan browsed the store. Maybe he'll find some olde-time explosives or something in this pasty pink dump.
He had been walking long enough, when he spotted a sign further off. In read "Fine China"
"Huh." Dan said out loud "Both fine things and China are on my list. Might as well kill two birds with one stone." He hurried to the aisle. When he got there, he was a little taken aback.
"What? This isn't information on China; this is just a bunch of dishes!" An acne-stricken teenage employee brushing up dust heard his cries.
"Uh, excuse me, sir. What exactly were you expecting?" He sounded like a poor college kid. Typical. Maybe he can make himself useful and grab Dan a burger. Haha, I'm such a riot! Dan thought. Then he remembered the kid had asked him a question. And then Dan remembered he was peeved he couldn't destroy china with dishes. He turned to the pathetic youth.
"Umm, vital information on China, what do you think?" Geeze, people these days. Dan brushed the kid off and continued walking down the aisle.
"What to do, what to do…" Dan lumbered around the aisle, ignoring the kid who was standing behind Dan. Once he got far enough from the employee, he came to a rather ornate plate, or Chine, or whatever. His hand twitched. He was tempted…but no. He promised Chris he wouldn't do it. Plus he didn't have any money. He collected himself, and walked away. What he didn't see was the college student, watching him.
Poor College Employee POV
Andy Williams was desperate. He had lost his job earlier. Just minutes ago, he was fired by Aunt Maggie herself. Aunt Maggie, Andy's idol, had fired him. He didn't want to hurt the sweet old lady, but he swore his revenge. When he saw this short, grumpy man, he realized that this man could restore his job. Acne Andy, as his classmates called him, would do anything-anything-he could to get this job back. If this man's reputation was to be ruined in the process, well it would be worth it. He watched as the angry midget's hand reached towards the delicate bowl. The guy stopped himself, though. Surprising, considering he seems to act on impulse. No matter, Andy will make this happen himself. Seconds after the self proclaimed "jerk" walked off, Andy did an "ultra graceful" ninja somersault into the next aisle, on the other side from the man of a case holding incredibly expensive dishes. Then, without pause, he shoved over the case holding. The small man yelped, and backed away quickly, so he wasn't crushed under the near priceless shelf. The case fell to the ground with a sickening crash. Both men knew there was nothing that could have survived that. The angry man locked eyes with Andy. Andy smiled slyly at him and plastered on a shocked, and innocent face while Aunt Maggie and other customers walked over. One of the customers in the gathering mob was a rather awkward-looking man, wearing socks with sandals and staring at the small guy Andy had framed. Aunt Maggie then pulled Andy aside.
"Andy, whatever happened?" She asked, in shock.
"Oh, Aunt Maggie, I am so sorry! This man, this monster, carelessly shoved over your prized antiques! I tried to stop him, but he bit me. I didn't give up though! He started shoving over other cases, but I was able to save them." Andy was lying through his teeth, but he didn't care. Aunt Maggie was staring at him with admiration.
"Oh honey!" She wailed. "How heroic! Please, accept my offer and I will give you your job back!"
Andy smiled. "Of course I will"
Chris POV
Chris couldn't believe it. And after Dan gave him his word. Dan had destroyed tons of fine china.
"Dan!" he yelled. "I can't believe you! You gave me your word and you went back on it! You're lucky my arrowhead was worth enough that I'll pay for your damage. But, this is the last time I trust or respect you. Now find your own way home." With that, he payed for the items and left, leaving Dan dumbstruck in the store.
Dan POV
"What?" Dan yelled after his best friend. "No, wait, I didn't do it! No! You're my ride home!" His yelling didn't do anything. Chris and Elise were out of the parking lot.
He had lost his ride!
Oh yeah, and his friend.
Despite Dan's passiveness, a sick feeling grew in the pit of his stomach, filling him with rage. He noticed the employee who tricked him standing nearby.
"You…" Dan murmured, walking close to Andy. "You framed me! That's it, you're on the list!"
Just then, some old lady said, "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Dan snorted. What's she gonna do? She probably lives on cookies and lemonade. Besides, Dan has some revenge promising to do. Then, two rather large men stepped forward and seized Dan by the arms, dragging him outside. Rather than just letting him down, they tossed him five feet away.
"Ow, was that really necessary?" Dan moaned, rubbing his head. Filled with vengeance, He stumbled to his feet and roared,
"AUNT MAGGIE'S ANTIQUES EMPORIUM!"
Thanks everyone, hope you enjoyed! I'm gonna have a lot of fun with this story, so stay tuned, Chapter two should be out shortly Remember to review!