Sayaka No More
Chapter 1
Note* This is a story where Sayaka has grown so insane that she becomes a magical version of Deadpool. Puella Magi Madoka Magica is owned by Shaft and Aniplex and the concept of Deadpool is owned by Marvel. This would also have spoilers.
-Also, do not imitate any violent scenes in this fan fiction. Its obviously illegal and I discourage you to do it in real life.
Starting from Episode 9 when Sayaka said that she was a fool, she actually cleansed her soul gem beforehand. Kyoko is by her side worried about the blue haired girl.
Kyoko: Sayaka! You're gonna need more grief seeds if your gonna make it.
The red haired girl gave the blue haired girl enough Grief seeds to cleanse Sayaka's soul gem in good condition. Sayaka then made a strange face that looked pretty silly. She stood up on the bench and started shouting.
Sayaka: As of today, I am no longer Sayaka Miki! I should get an awesome new superhero name. Something like... Deadpool! Yeah, I like it. Kind of like that Marvel hero. I felt that we have something in common.
Kyoko: Huh.
Sayaka: Kyoko darling, this is all too new for you. I am gonna be a whole new person thanks to you, that bastard I tried helping and that annoying bitch.
Kyoko: What are you talking about?
Sayaka: How many f&*#ing times do I have to tell you? I turned over a new leaf. I'm going to start being a badass hero than a stupid mopey girl that Gen Urobochi wanted me to be.
Kyoko: Who's Gen Urobochi?
Sayaka: Its hard to say. As it turns out, we are all just cartoons characters slaves to a guy who just loves torturing us. He thinks he can kill me off, oh no. Today, I get to change my destiny into a new one. I can be a park ranger or a chicken jugglier!
Kyoko: Sayaka, your creeping me out.
Sayaka: Look baby, lets give it to the fans who ships us.
Sayaka kissed Kyoko and as a result the red haired girl punched Sayaka out of anger. Sayaka was on the ground laughing really hard. Kyoko was really surprised to see this.
Sayaka: In case you forget, Kyubey said that I have a healing factor. Pretty neat huh.
Kyoko: Spouting s# $ is one thing, but kissing me is going too far. What is going on with your head?!
Sayaka: What's wrong with your head?
Kyoko: Answer my f#$^ing question!
Sayaka imitating Kyoko: Answer my f#$^ing question!
Kyoko: Your right, you really are a new Sayaka. What happened to the old you?
Sayaka: Let's just say that she realized the truth and have to grow up. Its passed curfew and my mommy and daddy are having dinner ready. Chao!
Kyoko: Sayaka wait!
Sayaka left quickly in a breeze leaving Kyoko wondering about what is wrong with Sayaka. Never had Kyoko see Sayaka act like this. The red haired girled thought about it and doubts that anyone could think like that.
Sayaka: So narrator, what's next?
Well you are suppose to go home right?
Sayaka: Wrong! I'm gonna have some fun before getting home to watch season 2 of Attack on Titan.
Season 2 hasn't come out yet. Also, its freaking 2011 where your from. The anime hasn't come out yet at your time.
Sayaka: We can change all of that.
Oh really. Is it because I'm making this fan fiction around 2015 gives you the right to even be a fan of something that isn't suppose to exist in your world?
Sayaka: If we can have meta reference with the opening theme in episode one, it would work now.
Fine.
Sayaka then changed into her magical girl outfit, only this time with a blue mask that looks like Deadpool's mask. She then heads to the studio that animates Attack on Titan quickly with her magical girl powers and snuck right in.
The guards heard a noise and headed to a spot and found Sayaka raising her hands us. She doesn't seem all that shocked and acted as if she expects them to appear.
Sayaka: Fourscore and seven minutes ago, I want my season 2 and I get it now!
Sayaka drew her blades and started slashing every guard killing them. She kicked on in the head and decapitated him with the guy he crashed into. A guard charged at her, but Sayaka drew her blade back and stabbed the guard in the eye through his head. Sayaka then magically created more blades from magic and continued through the studio.
...
At a room, we see executives and a bunch of people were having a party while watching the season 2 of Attack on Titan that was suppose to air. The blue costumed girl them barged in and pointed her sword at the president of the company.
Sayaka: What are you watching?
The President of the company: An episode...[gulp]... of Attack on Titan.
Sayaka: What season?
The President: One...
Sayaka stabbed the guy so many times that everyone cowers in fear. Sayaka only laughed and just walked toward the group slowly. She knows that they are watching season 2 just from one scene that was for sure not in season 1.
Sayaka: Now just give me what I want and I'll let you live. You got til 11:30 to air this s#$% or else. And don't even try anything funny because I always have my ways to get back at you.
All the guys nodded and got to work. Sayaka got back home quickly and changed back to her normal clothes and not wearing her mask. She saw her parents looking worried for her.
Sayaka's mom: Sayaka dear, we need to talk.
Sayaka's dad: Its about how you feel lately. We notice how your acting so strange.
Sayaka: Look mom, I'm fine now. And dad, you just don't seem to get me. I got everything under control right now.
Sayaka's mom: We heard that Kamijou went out with another girl. Its just that both your father and I know how close the two of you are since you first met him as kids.
Soyaka: Look mom, I'm fine. I really gotta go watch some anime to cool off. Don't worry about homework. I got it handled.
Sayaka went into her room and begin watching the season 2 as promised to her. As she was watching, she thought about what to do next. The episode ended and she got some crayons and started drawing.
Some of these drawings include how will she kill Kyosuke while others include Hitomi. Some of them include both of them together and it was disturbing despite the fact that its drawn like a kindergartener.
You know something else too, she should be working on her homework.
Sayaka: I got this, remember.
She got a lighter for some reason, pours some gasoline on her homework and burn it. She then extinguish the mess with a fire extinguisher.
Sayaka: See, my homework's 'finished'.
That was really irresponsble.
Sayaka: I got it all handled, just as I promised to my parents.
Argh, I'm gonna need help with this.
A random voice: Did I really turn into this? Even I'm not that crazy.
Sayaka: Okay, who joined in the party?
The random voice: I am the old you, the you before going into despair. I am what's left of you and your innocence.
Sayaka: So what, your my conscience now. I can't wait to go on an adventure and become a real girl.
Old Sayaka: Its not like that, I'm just some random voice in your head.
At least I have someone to talk too.
Sayaka: Look narrator and other me, let me get this straight. Call me Deadpool from now on. So now that's settled, what to do next?
Old Sayaka: Get some sleep and apologize to Madoka for what we said to her before in the morning.
Sayaka: Maybe I should, before unaliving the people who ruined my life.
Deadpool: Cameo time!
Sayaka: The real Deadpool.
Deadpool: The real Deadpool here to tell you that your the most cutest Deadpool there is, but get one thing straight missy. I'm the original and the best. I'll let you keep the title because we need an adorable anime Lady Deadpool. Tootles.
Sayaka: That was fun, skipping to school in the morning. Go!
The scene switches to Sayaka running through the usual route of going to school acting like a stereotype anime girl with her piece of toast. She met up with Hitomi and then Madoka came. The two girls then notices Sayaka's strange attitude.
Madoka: You seem really happy today Sayaka-chan.
Sayaka: Hey, we have a very s#$^ty test coming up and the news reported that its gonna rain today. Why can't I be happy? I felt so happy that I can hug all of you to death.
Hitomi: Uhhhh.
Sayaka: By the way Madoka, I need to talk to you privately.
Sayaka grabbed Madoka to somewhere private while Hitomi started to spout random stuff on how Madoka and Sayaka are in a relationship. Sayaka then looks at Madoka straight in the eye with the pink haired girl startled.
Madoka: Sayaka-chan, what is the meaning of this?
Sayaka: I just wanted to say sorry about yelling at you the other day.
Madoka: Its fine Sayaka. I know that its hard being a magical girl and I'm so sorry for being useless.
Sayaka now crying in a silly way: It matters not Madoka. Its my fault for being a fool. I can't believe I said those awful things to you.
Madoka: You don't have to over exaggerate on how you feel.
Sayaka: I must express my feelings to you. I'm that sorry. Please come closer.
Madoka: Eh.
Sayaka: Look Madoka, I'm trying to get my Oscars for best dramatic performance so don't kill the mood and [In Scorpian's voice from Mortal Kombat] "GET OVER HERE!".
Madoka: What?
Homura: I don't think so.
Madoka: Homura-chan?
Homura came just in time to end this nonsense and Sayaka just stumbled back. The raven haired girl only stared at Sayaka with a angry blank stare.
Homura: Its odd that you manage to get better quickly.
Sayaka: Its all in the bananas and the potassium in the bananas.
Homura: What does that have to do with anything?
Sayaka: Lots of things like Donkey Kong or Doctor Who. Maybe Bill Nye.
Homura: Enough! What's up with you?!
Sayaka in a cute leaf costume: I turned over a new leaf.
Homura: Where did you get that...
Madoka: Sayaka-chan, you look so cute in that.
Sayaka: I know I do, ten times better than Erik Quach in his pajamas if he has one.
Homura: There something not right about you Sayaka and...
Madoka: Oh look at the time, we need to hurry to school before we're late.
Homura: I'll get you later.
Homura left for some reason and Madoka and Sayaka ran to school. Sayaka then does a strange homage to the sitcom Saved by the Bell which started to freak out Madoka after seeing the strange visuals. During class, Saotome-sensei was trying to collect the homework assignments and what she got from Sayaka was surprising.
Saotome: Miki-san, may I have your homework from last night?
Sayaka: I burned it.
Saotome: Very funny. Did you forget again?
Sayaka: Nope, I literally burned it like this.
Sayaka pour some gasoline at the teacher and lights her up with a lighter. The teacher screamed as Sayaka changed into her magical girl outfit with her blue Deadpool mask and sliced the teacher many times. In the end, the teacher's corpse is now a kabob on Sayaka's sword.
Sayaka: Tah dah. I magically turned Saotome-sensei into a human kabab like the narator just said. Huh, Huh.
Nobody is amused Deadpool. In fact, they're afraid of you now.
Sayaka: Uhh, school's out! Party at Madoka's house!
Nobody is amused again.
Sayaka: If you got any better ideas, tell me!
Everyone sat still at their desk out of fear. Some tried to leave the classroom which they did. Soon, only Madoka and Homura were left. Homura stood up to Sayaka and questioned her while changing into her magical girl clothes. She pointed a gun at her, but Sayaka didn't hesitate.
Homura: What is your intention Miki? I know that you wouldn't kill a teacher for no reason.
Sayaka: But hey, it was fun.
Homura: Can I tell you something? I think that you know I'm a time traveler right based on your mind set.
Sayaka: Duh. This show aired in like 2011, I can this information through the internet.
Homura: Out of every timeline I been through, you Sayaka Miki always go into despair and turn into a witch. Could it be that you are in despair in a different way?
Sayaka: If I answered yes, do I get a pony? Maybe a unicorn. No wait, too redundant. A alicorn. It has both the wings and a horn. Genius! Its two for one.
Homura got close and put her gun up at Sayaka's chin: Shut up and answer my question?!
Madoka now worried: Homura-chan, Sayaka-chan.
Sayaka: I'm just not myself anymore. In fact, I don't think I am Sayaka at all. I'm Deadpool. The best magical girl out there. A lot better than my old useless self.
Homura: Do you honestly think that way? How is this growth?
Sayaka: Fine, I have to go into exposition just for you.
Sayaka got out a board out of nowhere which suprises Homura and the blue masked girl started writing out all her plans. The whole thing looks like a child's hand writing. From what Homura could see, Sayaka wants to kill Kyosuke and Hitomi.
Sayaka: And so that's my master plan?
Homura: How is a dog and some tacos gonna be part of this?
Sayaka: Multiverse theory. Read about Dogpool and you might understand.
Madoka: I can't stand this anymore. Homura-chan is a time traveler and Sayaka-chan... I have no idea who she is now. This is too complicated.
Homura: Madoka, you now know the truth, but not the whole thing. I guess I have to tell you about it.
Sayaka: Oh no! Not long boring exposition! Its so boring!
Maybe what Homura has to say seems to be interesting.
Sayaka: Really because all I hear was blah blah blah.
Literally, that's all Sayaka heard. She had enough. Not only Homura wanted to kill her, but now she's boring her to death with exposition. Sayaka now wants Homura dead.
Sayaka: F#$% it, I'll just kill her.
Sayaka then stab Homura in the head and sliced her in half. Sayaka then took her soul gem and it became that shield thing that Homura has. Sayaka was about to leave, but Hitomi came with the cops.
Sayaka: You really want to do this.
Hitomi: Sayaka, you are my friend, but murdering is wrong. You have to stop.
Sayaka: Stop, I'm getting started. DANCE PARTY!
Hitomi: The hell?
The cops try to shoot Sayaka while she charged at them, but the blue masked girl started to breakdance. Smacking any cops in the way and stabbed them with her sword. Madoka just hide under a desk. She then got close to Hitomi at the face.
Sayaka: Knock knock.
Hitomi: Um... Who's there?
Sayaka: Bang.
Hitomi: Bang who.
Sayaka whipped out some guns out of Homura's shield and shouted...
Sayaka: Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang!
She kept shouting bang over and over again. She kept on shooting until there is literally nothing is left of the girl anymore. The wall outside of the classroom now has a silhouette of Hitomi in blood. Madoka cried harder after seeing so much gore and blood.
Sayaka: Geez Madoka, you don't have to be such a baby. They deserve it. Homura might want to take you to her house and who knows what she might do.
Madoka: Sayaka, why?
Sayaka: J#$% lady, you kept asking questions throughout this fan fiction. Its starting to get annoying.
Madoka: Please just leave me alone. Your not Sayaka.
Sayaka: Of course not, I used to be her. Now I'm Deadpool! Super extraordinary magical girl at your service.
Madoka only cried louder. Sayaka just slouch because she is annoyed of this. She just left the classroom casually and starts to talk to herself. Meaning she's talking to me now.
Sayaka: Can't you believe Madoka just won't stop crying? I mean, she's the protagonist of this anime and we have to look up to this wimp. Even Bella Swan is a better female protagonist.
Don't you dare compare Madoka to Twilight! Madoka is more kawaii and lovable. That moe is just oozing out of her...
Sayaka: T.M.I. bro.
Old Sayaka: What were you thinking Deadpool? That was really reckless. Now the cops want to get us and it would be more difficult to get Kamijou.
Sayaka: Don't worry, I got Homura's watch thingy. I could just freeze time and do whatever I want.
A voice: Its only temporary.
Sayaka: Great. Even after killing you, your spirit haunts me for vengence or some crap like that.
Homura: You know just was well as I do that soul gems are our souls. The fact that you have mines and my body is gone means that I am a part of your body.
Other Sayaka: Now we have more people in our minds.
Sayaka: This is one heck of a ride.
Homura: Any who, my time shield's ability to alter time is temporary so pernamently freezing time is out of question. And do remember to not get my soul gem corrupted.
Sayaka: Whatever b#$% . Time to go get me Kamijou so that I can kill that mother f#$ er.
Homura: I won't let you!
Sayaka: Your just some stupid voice in my head. I don't have to listen to you.
She's right you know.
Sayaka: Thanks narrator. Off to kill Kamijou.
...
Notes* I only made this idea up because I felt that Sayaka and Deadpool have some stuff in common. They both use swords, have a healing factor, and more reasons that I forgot I think. The first two reasons that I mentioned were the first that came into mind and influenced me to make this.