Touch the Past (UNCUT)

Author's Notes
5th July 2007
Note: If you don't care about me and my feelings and thoughts and just wanna know about the story, just skip down to the part I so kindly bolded for you.

Wow, this story is 6 years old. That means when I wrote it I was 13, boy do I feel old. Anyway, just recently I found myself playing Final Fantasy VIII again after having not touched it for I think 4 years. While playing, I found myself thinking about the Final Fantasy VIII fan-fictions I used to read when I was still crazy about the game. So, forgoing my quest to get Steel Pipes from Wendigoes near Dollet, I turned on my laptop and checked in on Imagine my surprised to find all my fan-fiction, which I had not thought about for about 5 years, totally intact, and with more reviews since the last time I checked them! (That would, also, be approximately 5 years ago)

Anyway, I looked through them and boy, you do not know what cringe is until you're an author or artist (I also draw) looking back at work they did 6 years ago. I think I blushed at my screen. Therefore I decided to do a revamp of my FFN profile, and edit my fan-fiction so that, well, you won't laugh or rather, cry when you see the gruesomely long, too wordy paragraphs. I like to think my writing matured (and I've become more pedantic about my formats, just a nicer way of saying anal), and so I'll be leaving up the original (badly written) script so people who can be bothered to take the time can give me a critique on how my writing has improved, what needs work etc.

Enough about me, the following paragraph shall talk about the fan-fiction itself, so if you don't really care about what I feel or think (you probably don't), just read this for information about the story, see I even put in the red first line so that you could skip all that boring me me me (finally, I talk about myself too much).

I was taking a shower one day, 6 years ago when, for some odd reason or another, inspiration hit me and I felt that I just had to write this. The main idea behind how Ultimecia rose to power, of course, is totally not my idea, rather, it is Astarte's, and I claim absolutely no credit. The quote at the end of the story came from a signature I saw somewhere, and it was in fact what made me think of writing this because I found it rather depressing and sad, I think it stuck to my mind a bit I'm not sure, it was 6 bloody years ago.

On with the story.

Disclaimer
I do not own Ultimecia, Squall or any of the names that pop up in this piece of fan-fiction. Those are sole property of Square. I only own (in a way) my own characters, of which there are quite a few.

Spoiler warning
This piece of fan fiction contains minor relatively major spoilers from the Playstation game Final Fantasy VIII. The events that are portrayed here, however, do not reflect Square's original intentions for the game and are mere figments of the author's imagination, albeit with a considerable part of the idea behind it credit Astarte. Go to her profile on FFN and click FF8 Angel of Chaos. I'd link ya but is FFN a real bitch about anything remotely resembling a link (no offense).

PG-Parent Guidance recommended
This piece of fiction has blood, gore and relatively gruesomely depicted death. If you don't like it, don't read it.

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I gazed at the cold hard steel of my sword, the reflecting image of my eyes greeting me. They were like twin emeralds in the light, framed by my slightly long brown hair. My friends told me that my bright green eyes were strange; made me outstanding. I just shrugged them off. I didn't care about outer appearances; they never matter in the long run. It was the personality that counted. What good were looks when you didn't have the brains? I'd rather marry an ugly woman who was as smart as Einstein than a dumb blonde who barely knew left from right.

Sheathing my sword, I slipped into the standard SeeD uniform. There was going to be a battle; one we were almost certain we wouldn't win. But we had to try. We had to wait for the prophesized arrival of the SeeDs of the past, but that was all we could do. Wait. No one knew when, how or where they would come. It was a myth; a myth greatly believed. I thought everyone who did were idiots. I mean, so some guy and his bunch of friends said they went into the future, fought Ultimecia and saved the world from the clutches of the evil Sorceress. Do they have proof? All they have is the word of some weirdo who never smiled, never laughed and never communicated with the people around him. Sometimes I doubt human sanity. I think the guy's name was Leonhart. Couldn't remember his first name off the top of my head. And I don't really care.

All I knew is that if they were going to believe in some myth brought up a thousand years ago, then let them sit around and wait. I sure as hell wouldn't. And I was going to fight to my last dying breath and defeat this Sorceress Ultimecia. Let them wait, it was just a dying hope. Hope was something I never believed in. If you wanted something done right, you didn't just sit around and hope someone would do it for you. You set out to do it yourself. Hope was just something for you to hang onto; a thin thread holding you up, away from death. A thin thread that could break any time, shattering your dreams or hope. My friends say I'm insane for saying that, but fact is, I've seen people build up their hopes so high, when their world comes crashing down, they just crumbled and broke. This was something I swore never to experience.

"Are you ready?" my commanding officer's voice rang into my dorm. I nodded, even though she could not see me.

"Ready, just give me a few seconds!" I replied. I gave my hair one last comb through and opened the door, coming face to face with my slightly shorter commander. Her chin length blond hair and light pale skin gave her a sense of fragility; as if she would break anytime, like a piece of glass. But I knew better than that. I'd seen her in battle more than once, and rarely seen her show any mercy to the opponent. She had the looks of an angel but the soul of a ruthless fighter, hardened through the toughest of battles and most gruesome of experiences.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" She asked softly, a look of concern on her gentle face. Her sea-blue eyes were swimming with worry and i thought i would drown in them. She always had a way with people. "I mean, you only graduated recently and I don't know if you have the experience or the guts to be involved in this war."

"Yes, I'm sure," I replied firmly, looking straight into her eyes. She just had this talent of making people do whatever she wanted them to, but I wasn't going to let her persuade me out of this war. Not this time. "I've never been so sure of anything in my life." She sighed and pulled back, her eyes filled with some kind of disappointment.

"It's your decision," she said, turning to leave. "Meet at the Garden Airship at 1000 hours." Her voice softened. "Good luck."

At 1000 hours exactly, myself along with my friends and fellow SeeDs were lined up in two straight rows, our faces solemn as the commander briefed us about this mission. A mission not assigned by outside forces, but by the Headmaster himself. And the second-in-command, a tall, sturdy young man of about 20. His face was greatly scarred for a man of his age, showing the hardships he had been through during his time as a SeeD.

"As you know," he started, pacing up and down. There was a slightly nervous look on his face and a lump formed in my throat. Our second-in-command was never nervous. And even if he were he never showed it. He continued. "We are presently at war with the Sorceress Ultimecia. We had never thought that the handing of the Sorceress Asteria's powers to the mere servant was right, especially with her having the cursed silver hair, but now, the prophecy has come true. The servant, by the name of Irinda, has re-named herself Ultimecia. We must hold her off until our saviors from the past come and save us from the clutches of this evil witch."

I smirked inwardly. Frankly, I had somewhat anticipated Irinda, no, Ultimecia's reaction. The SeeDs hadn't merely been unhappy, they'd staged protests and in fact, there had been several assassination attempts. None of them could touch Ultimecia, and I heard the most successful assassination had been when a fellow SeeD had somehow managed to sneak in poison which disrupted her vocal cords, but she had managed to neutralize it before it took enough effect to be fatal. The poor SeeD was discovered, caught, tortured and publicly executed by Ultimecia's Ruby Dragons. I had been there, and I heard the poor man's screams of terror as a Ruby Dragon snapped off his limbs. A next Ruby Dragon had shown up and snatched him from the other, and the poor man was torn in half as the ferocious dragons fought over him. That was the last attempt at an assassination of the Sorceress.

We boarded the Air Craft and I took a seat next to one of my few friends that had gone to fight in the war. He had a nervous yet firm look etched to his face and managed a weak grin at me. I gave him a reassuring nod and what passed for a smile and the rest of the trip was uneventful. I guess when you're going up to face death himself, anyone would be nervous, even if they never showed it.

SeeD had decided that if sneak assassination attacks didn't work, then we'd have to settle with brute force. We knew what we were up against, and were prepared in every way possible. This Air Ship, enforced with the technology of Esthar, was part of the Elite Fleet sent by Kansvia Garden, one of the newer Gardens built after the supposed fall of Ultimecia a thousand years ago. Balamb Garden had returned to it's immobile state near the town of Balamb. Galbadia Garden had been found, ruined and abandoned, in the plains of Centra, near My Blue Heaven. Those ruins had remained untouched, however, through the course of time. It stood, crumbling but still standing. There were rumors that it was held up by the magic of the GF that once dominated the ruins. A GF long gone, but his spirit lurks within the walls of those very ruins crawling with tonberrys, bombs and other creatures of the undead.

Another new Garden had been built, Esthar Garden, the strongest Garden in history. It had taken three whole years to build, one and a half more than a usual Garden, and it had been enforced with the latest technology, both in defense purposes and military purposes. I'd taken a trip there once and had been awestruck by the magnificence of the Garden. Fountains of all shapes and sizes had been erected around the Garden. Crystalline water streamed in all waters; spurting up towards the heavens then coming down like a sheet of magic, simply streaming down the stone or marble structure of the fountain and ending in a small pond. There was even a huge waterfall that started in a river along the top levels of the Garden and plunged down into a small lake on the ground floor.

The students there were bright too. The library was a huge mass of shelves and books upon thousands of books, a large expanse of unlimited knowledge of all kinds. Hard covered story books that transported the mind into a world of imagination and adventure, or old, crumbling text that carried the essence of those who lived long ago. Students could be seen studying for the next exam and I could only stare at the subjects they took. Esthar Garden only allowed the top ten students of all the Gardens in the world, and it was something I knew i could never achieve, even if I tried.

There was a slight jerk as the plane landed, years of improvisations and advancements making a supposedly hour long journey just a mere five minutes with barely any disruptions or landing problems. It was a sign of changing times. We filed out of the Air Ship and found that we were not the first ones there; the Esthar SeeDs were there and waiting. In the distance I could see Ultimecia's Castle and a nervous chill ran down my spine. Was this real? Was I really standing here, preparing for my first, most important and perhaps, my last battle? I was snapped out of my trance as the Balamb and Trabian Air Ships arrived, landing with the same grace and ease as our own Air Ship. It was real.

Ultimecia had taken over Sorceress Asteria's castle and did some redecorating of her own. Now the castle was floating in the air, anchored to the ground by a magical chain. She had summoned beasts of every kind that inhabited her castle, but there were her servants, spawned from her magic, who sealed the magic and abilities of whoever entered her castle. Not that there had been many to begin with. Very rarely did anyone manage to penetrate the wall of monsters which guarded her fortress or get into her fortress undetected, let alone survive to tell the tale.

When the last of the SeeDs were ready, we stood in lines, the Esthar Garden's Headmaster addressed us.

"My dear SeeDs," his voice echoed through the enclosed space created by the Air Craft's positioning next to each other. "This is an epic battle between us and the Sorceress Ultimecia. We most probably will not win and the prophesized SeeDs of the past will come and defeat the evil Sorceress Ultimecia, but for now, we shall do the best we can!" He nodded, his voice dropping slightly. "I wish you the best of luck. You shall be remembered." We all knew chances of us going back to our respective Gardens to tell the story of our battle, and we were willing to court death.

The SeeD in charge, a short raven-haired SeeD of about 20 in an Estharian uniform with a whistle bound around her neck waited a few seconds before blowing on her whistle. Immediately, as one person, the troops of SeeDs trained in different Gardens charged towards the castle like a swarm of bees. Almost immediately a swarm of Hexadragons, Grendels, Elnoyles and every other monster you could think of burst from the castle. A roar was heard from above and I saw the outline of a Ruby Dragon, it's wings spread out like an archangel of Death. I caught my breath. In all it's deadliness, it was a majestic animal.

We fought. Man against beast. All around me, I saw something falling, be it a Grendel or a SeeD. We were losing. I parried a Grendel's tail whip at my neck, catching the tail on my sword mere inches away from my jugular. Using all my strength, I pushed him away and he did a flip backwards, growling at me. Before I could even blink an Elnoyle swooped past and clawed at my head, drawing blood. I gritted my teeth and rolled aside, watching twin pairs of hungry eyes staring at me. My grip on the handle of my sword tightened as I threw a Tornado spell at the Elnoyle, knocking him from flight as he collapsed into a crumpled heap. It was obvious I had not been the first one to wound it. My attention went back to the Grendel, which was snapping its jaws at me. It pounced, using its powerful hind legs to give itself a powerful boost into the air.

A silent scream escaped my throat as I watched it spin about, about to slice me in two with it's razor sharp tail blade. It's over, some deep conscience in my mind stated as I felt my heart freeze. But before I could feel the cold hard blade slice through my vulnerable flesh and spill out my guts, the Grendel was blasted to bits. Standing in it's place was my Instructor, a grim look on her face. Relief washed over me and I felt like collapsing from the shock, but before I could even send a look of gratitude to her, she was ripped apart by a pack of Wendigoes, charging at full speed towards me. Shock and panic raced through my body and a Wendigo hit me full force on my chest, knocking the wind out of me and slamming me into the ground, perhaps breaking my rib cage. I had almost no time to allow the fact that I had just witnessed the death of my Instructor in a gruesome manner register into my mind. I could only lie there and wait for the same fate as my misfortunate Instructor had suffered, my body covered in sticky blood, both from my own aching wounds and from my dead Instructor's body.

Suddenly, we faded out of existence and a roar rocked the battlefield. Some one had summoned Hydra, the three headed, triple elemental GF, recently discovered. The clouds gathered overhead and hung low; a dark omen to the monsters. Suddenly, they parted and from the skies, the flapping of huge wings could be heard, echoing in the distance. Hydra descended into view, her magnificent wings stirring up the air, sand and dirt around of her. Her three heads roared as one, silencing even the bravest of Ruby Dragons. GFs would always overcome any mortal. It had been taught that the GFs were barely even using half their strength when summoned as they were far mightier to care about human affairs.

"If they even had the slightest intentions to kill you," my Instructor had put it. "And actually tried to, you'd be burnt so bad there won't even be a skeleton left behind. Just loose molecules of what was once you." We'd laughed at that, but now, watching the way Hydra shot her triple flare at the monsters with such little effort and destroying more than half the creatures that were there, I couldn't help thinking about what would happen if any GF was angered enough to throw their full power. The beams of light, fire, ice and lightning, that sprayed from her mouths joined as one huge, tri-elemental beam that no monster could dodge. She waved her head around, wiping out most of the battlefield. Then a flash of light enveloped the battlefield and she was gone.

The tide had turned. We were winning! I knew that stupid myth about heroes from the past was a lie! The last of the Dragons was slain and we rushed towards the castle, our voices shouting in unison. We were going to win!

Suddenly, a flash of light pulsed through the battlefield, blinding me. [iWhat the... A wave of heat throbbed through the battle field and above, I saw… Bahamut? I squinted through the blinding flash and saw… no… It wasn't Bahamut. Its basic outline was the same, but this was smaller… and somewhat different… It was the other GF, Tiamat…

The heat was unbearable, and Tiamat was just getting ready to blast us. It was all over. She shot her Shadow Flare at us, burning the battlefield and scorching my body. My senses were screaming and I felt lightheaded. It was here I knew I was going to die. I collapsed, just a few feet away from the magic chain that linked the castle to the ground. I couldn't move and felt the life draining from me. So this is the end...

Then, through the thin line of my consciousness, i saw a dark figure moving from the south. Who... Behind of him were two other female figures. One was clothed in a blue suit of some sort and another in a pinkish... 'dress'...

They muttered something to each other and I distinctively heard the words 'Squall' and 'SeeD'. My breath quickened as they walked towards my lifeless body. 'Squall' murmured something that had the word 'dead' in it and the continued up the magic chain, up to Ultimecia's fortress. And it was then I knew. All those myths about the heroes who came in and saved the world from Time Compression were true. And, in my last dying breath, scratched onto the soil 'The Myth is True'…

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I'm just a nameless soldier
In a nameless battlefield
Fighting for a cause
Which isn't even mine

-Fin-