A:N - So, I basically just sacrifised all night to finish and uploade this oneshot and I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO TIRED! XD Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. If I did, I'd actually have a life, wouldn't I? O.o
Wich, makes the theme even more appropriate, but also makes the odds of this beeing really, REALLY bad greater.
Oh, well, I just wanted to upload something before I went to Stockholm for a couple of days, anyway, so who cares if it sucks? XD
Okey. I probably care. When in my right mind: ReaperDuckling + Lack of sleep = Disaster 99.999999% of all cases
This is a songfic, the song is "I Need Some Sleep" and the pairing is IshiRuki, and I'd love to know what you think of it, so please leave a review after your donne reading it :D 3
...:I need some sleep:…
Uryuu was turning, shaking, crying in his bed; the sound of distant roars echoing through his head together with her screaming – over and over and over.
Sorrow, pain, guilt, blood, desperation shot through his body like lightning.
Ichigo was dead; he was hanging by the head in Ulquiorra's hand, a rounded hole going straight through his chest where his heart should have been.
Ichigo was dead.
Inoue-san was screaming and he had to save her, had to save her from that monster because Ichigo was dead, dead, DEAD and there was no one else to protect her.
But she was screaming.
She was screaming his name.
"Kurosaki-kunKurosaki-kunKurosaki-kunKUROSAKI-KUN!"
And though Uryuu tried, tried to save her; he failed, and once again, her beloved Kurosaki-kun arose to her (their) protection.
Only twisted.
And hollow.
And wrong.
A monster.
(The pain, the betrayal, the shamehe felt when Ichigo's blade penetrated his skin and through his chest made his stomach clench and his head spin. He couldn't save them. Not any of them. Not even from themselves.)
And then; Ulquiorra died, and Inoue cried for them – cried for both of the monsters.
And then; Uryuu died, and no one cried for him.
- Ishida… a hushed whisper swept through the darkness, and, suddenly, he felt a pair of petite, cold fingers stroke his face gently – but he was turning and shaking and crying and the sound of roaring and screams made the girl's voice grow weak.
- Ishida… he was dead; no one cried for him. No one. Only him, himself; and it was so sad, that he would be so lonely, that he would be so desperately lonely even though he loved so deeply; loved them all so deeply.
- Ishida, please wake up…!
Uryuu opened his eyes groggily and then raised a hand to rub the sleep and the remaining tears out of them.
The room was dark, but not dark enough for him not to notice that someone was sitting on his bed in front of him; but his head was still spinning from the nightmare and he was too tired (so tired, so tired, so tired always so tired) to think anything strange about it.
With shaking hands and a slowly growing headache in the back of his skull, he reached for his glasses on the bedside table and put them on, before turning to his "guest".
- Kuchiki-san…? He questioned, suddenly feeling very much awake.
She was sitting on her knees, fingers fiddling nervously with each other as she, almost shyly, was looking down on her lap.
- Ichigo kicked me out… she whispered, and Ishida jumped a little at the sound of her broken and tired voice. -… and I need some sleep.
…:You can't go home like this:…
Uryuu woke up with his nose in her dark, raven hair and her back to his chest.
When he felt her breathe, felt her petite chest rise and fall against his own and the warmth of her body envelope him like a blanket, he blushed crimson.
The events of last night came crashing down on him like a wave, leaving him speechless and embarrassed as he made an attempt to shuffle away from her.
- I'm sorry… he heard her whisper, and stopped in the middle of the movement that would take him away from her side. -…I should never have come to you. I just had… nowhere else to go. If you want me to, I'll find somewhere else to go.
She sounded so… sad.
So broken.
("Ichigo kicked me out… and I need some sleep.")
He didn't know this girl; and yet, here she was; laying in his bed next to him, showing him a side of herself that he doubted that she had shown to anyone else.
He felt her warmth, her breathing, her skin and her hair against his skin – the smell of her shampoo where drifting gently beneath his nostrils; and he felt like crying when he realized that this was the most contact he had had with another human being in a very, very long time.
When they had just met; he had fought for her, and bled for her, and almost died for her.
When they had just met; she had fought for him, and bled for him, and almost cried for him.
Now, she had seen him cry in his sleep, and he had seen her lost, and afraid.
Uryuu lay back down beside her, and buried his nose deeper into her hair.
- You can't go home like this.
Maybe… just maybe… he could save her?
…:I try counting sheep, but there's always one I miss:…
He was looking up into the ceiling, listening to Rukia breathing on the other side of the double bed.
The room was pitch black; and his heart was still beating furiously in his chest after waking up from another one of his nightmares.
- I can't sleep. He suddenly heard Rukia whisper.
Slowly, he turned to her, and looked at him looking at her.
Her violet eyes where shining in the dark, and he forced out a smile for her.
- Me neither, Kuchiki.
- It's Rukia… she smiled. -… Fool.
Then, something sad crossed her features, and she turned away from him.
Worry growing in his chest, he hesitantly reached out a hand to touch her shoulder; but dropped it to the mattress when she said:
- I keep dreaming of him.
Uryuu blinked at her, surprised, and then forced out another kind smile as a strange feeling began to grow in his chest.
- Me too.
Rukia turned back to him with a sad smile on her face before crawling over to his side of the bed and burying her face against his chest.
Uryuu felt his heart skip a beat and a blush crawl up his cheeks at this gesture of tenderness, and suddenly found himself helplessly unaware of what to do in this kind of situation.
Slowly, he put his arm around her shoulder, holding her in a loose embrace and he smiled a little when he felt her snuggling up to him.
- Do you mind it if I sleep like this…? She wondered shyly, and a strange feeling began to form in his gut (like butterflies. Fluttering butterflies. And want). -…I've tried counting sheep's; but there's always one I miss… She laughed a little at her joke, and he buried his face in her hair (an act that made her jump, if only just a little). -…b-but you… She sighed, stuttering over her own voice. -… you make me forget.
…:Everyone says, "You're getting down too low":…
- Do you know… do you know where… where Rukia is?
Uryuu felt like someone had just poured a bucket full of ice water over his head and his heart stopped beating as he turned to the boy addressing him.
Kurosaki was standing next to his bench in the classroom, a silent frown was etched upon his face and an embarrassed blush crossed his cheeks.
He hadn't been in school for weeks.
And now… he was so pale.
There where dark bags beneath his eyes, that looked fatigued and where visibly marred by a long time of confusion and sorrow.
Guilt and pain and chill and rebellion became one single, confused mess inside of Uryuu's mind as he thought about the dark haired Shinigami that was currently keeping the warmth in his bed and the nightmares out of his mind.
- Kuchiki-san is missing…? He asked, struggling to keep his cool as he pushed the glasses up the bridge of his nose with his middle finger.
- Do you know where she is? Kurosaki asked, and Uryuu looked down towards the lid of his bench as he made up his mind and answered:
- No.
- Really? Because your entire body stinks of her reiatsu.
As Uryuu came back home that night; Rukia was gone.
…:Everyone says, "You just got to let it go":…
Uryuu was laying in the big double bed alone, looking up in the ceiling.
The mattress felt big and cold and though Uryuu felt more tired than he ever had in his life; he couldn't bare himself to sleep.
He felt too lonely, too broken, too lost.
But he didn't cry; couldn't cry.
He didn't know what to do… what to say, what to think.
- I keep counting sheep's; but there's always one I miss… he sang sadly to himself. -…but you made me forget… You made me forget… Voice dying on the last word, he curled himself up into a ball on the big bed, and fell asleep.
Hands were touching his face; fingers slowly making their way across his cheek bone.
Someone was breathing, breathing against his neck, and he shivered at the feeling of it before pulling the person down next to him, into his embrace, and burying his face into a familiar mess of silky raven hair.
- Would you… he whispered, desperately, as he clung to her petite body. -…would you cry for me? Would you cry for me if I died?
- Fool…! She whispered shakily, and he sniffled while trying to force the cries that where threatening to spill out of his throat down. -…I'm crying for you always!
And Uryuu pulled away from her and opened his eyes.
He pulled the glasses away from his bedside table and put them on, and finally allowed himself to cry as he saw the clear image of Rukia laying in his arms.
She smiled and wiped the tears off of his cheeks, and he pulled her closer to him and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed into the crook of her neck as she stroke his back and hushed him gently.
- I couldn't sleep without you… he heard her whisper. -… so I came back.
And then, she pulled away from him, wiped the tears off his cheeks, and kissed him softly, hesitantly, on his trembling lips.
Uryuu felt the world tremble and fall into oblivion around him as he closed his eyes and began to move his lips against hers.
Tears kept falling out of his eyes and his hands where trembling as he raised them to cup her cheeks and kiss her deeper (the feeling of her intoxicated him, made him feel more alive than he ever had felt in his life, made him feel complete).
- I love you… he mumbled against her lips as he pressed her closer to him and kissed her, again and again and again. -…I love you so much… Please don't… He began to plant butterfly kisses against her cheeks and down her jaw line. -…don't leave me.
(Though the next morning, she would, because Kurosaki needed her, and he knew that. But that didn't matter as much anymore, as long as she came back to him, as long as she kept the nightmares at bay; as long as she loved him – she kept saving him from himself, over and over again, and they could move on, together).
- I love you, too… she whispered, and buried her hands in his hair. -…I love you too.