Dark. That's all I've ever felt without her. That's all I will ever feel without her.
I'll never know why she went back to Michael. She won't answer any of my phone calls, so I know there's no chance of ever finding any closure in this situation.
I miss her.
I miss her every day.
Does she miss me? I don't know.
Perhaps she went back to him because to her, he is comfort? Or maybe she chose him because he was the easy path? The path away from the glaring lights of stardom, the path back to her sanity, or the path back to all she's known? I'll never know.
I just wish she'd answer my calls.
London is still so vast and empty without her. Those few months that we spent together in my home country were some of the best of my life, and now they seem but a distant memory.
I don't understand where we went wrong, where I went wrong. I don't know how to get it back. I don't know how to get any of it back.
But God help me, I will.
I've never felt so dismal in my entire life. Millions clamor to get merely a glimpse of me, and yet, here I am. This poor, pathetic fool pining for the one thing he cannot have; the one thing that should come easy to him.
The love of his life.
And still, I can't have her.
I do not know where I went wrong... where we went wrong. I miss her... everyday. The past few months of promotion for our God forsaken film, "Eclipse", has been tiring. I have to see her everyday, she avoiding the very sight of me.
And yet, I cannot help but stare at her.
Her skin.. radiant in the light. Her eyes, green, deep with knowing our every secret, our every whisper.
I miss the way those eyes would pierce me in the dark of our room. It was almost as if they could read into my very being.
I will never know what sent her running back to him, but I swear, one day...
It will be me she is running back to.
Until then... I will wait.
Wait for her..
Wait for us...
I will wait.