POSTER'S NOTE: As before, I did not write this, but am posting them for a friend. Not sure how I feel about this one, but it's likely to be interesting. Hope y'all enjoy!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I would like to start off by saying I did not want to write this story. I find the idea of Tony/Pepper with anyone else to be disconcerting, (especially if it involves one of the villains, which is why I stop reading stories that hook Pepper up with Justin Hammer, no matter how good they are) even if it ends in eventual Pepperony, and yet sometimes I just can't stop reading them. This story came about after I was doing some web searching for possible deleted scenes we could expect on the Iron Man 3 DVD, and I came across an interview in which the directors, Drew Pearce and Shane Black, talk about some of the ideas they had for the movie that were eventually tossed out. I'm not a fan of the comics, but I understand why their take on the Mandarin angered so many people. Once I read what they planned to do to Pepper, I was like "Gentlemen, do you even have wives? Girlfriends? Seriously, did some woman do this to you?" They were going to have Pepper get down with Killian because she's mad at Tony and was overwhelmed by the Extremis pheromones he was giving off. Uh huh. Talk about OOC. At least for Pepper, she's just not like that. But then supposedly Killian was going to make a tape and broadcast it all over a Home Depot or something.
OK, aside from the fact that this is a family movie, (hence no shower scene) or was supposed to be, I read that and was like WTF? Unfortunately, that barb sat in my brain. They had already trashed the Mandarin, what would they do to Pepper? How could I save my Pepperony in my own mind if this had really been part of the movie? How would *I* have written it if ordered to do so by these guys? My husband's cousin nearly stormed out of the theater after the reveal about the Mandarin. I can't promise I wouldn't have followed him if they had honestly done this to Pepper.
See, I write fanfiction for one of three reasons: 1) I have writer's block and I need to get past it by writing something else. 2) I want to continue stories with characters I have come to love that are no longer being written about. 3) The writers of characters I love do something completely moronic and idiotic with them and I have to *fix* it in my mind. The third reason is why this fanfiction exists. Also, I apologize for the length of time between my stories, for those who read my other ones, especially "My Best Friend's Baby" and were clamoring for more. My publisher wanted all sorts of rewrites on my last book, and it's been eating up my time. I hope I can manage to finish this one before everyone here sends out a lynching party after me. ;-)
Warning for situations that could be interpreted as borderline non-consentual. If you trigger easily, might want to skip this one. Warning for mature themes.
The Tape part 1
Pepper sped down the coastal highway to Malibu as the sun I was setting over the coast in a gorgeous sunset. But she barely saw the beautiful vestige before her. Her mind was in a chaotic turmoil that ranged from horror and despair and guilt to residual memories of physical pleasure that she should not have been feeling at all. She was shaking so bad she could barely hold the wheel steady.
The day had started off normally enough. When she got up this morning, she certainly had not been expecting that by the end of the day she would have been guilty of the very thing she has always worried Tony would someday be guilty of: infidelity. When the relationship became public knowledge to the media, scores of people had come out of the woodwork claiming that both of them were being unfaithful, and making guesses on how long it will last before Tony got bored with her and wandered. She was called a fool more times than one, because she should have known after 10 years what to expect from Tony, everyone said. She certainly had not seen coming, nor would anybody else, that she would be the one to cheat. She still couldn't believe it. When she left for the office this morning, she had not thought that anything like this would have happened by the day's end.
She would be the first to admit that things were not going as smoothly with Tony as she had hoped it would be by now. Ever since the incident in New York, he had been withdrawn and stressed out. She could see that he was suffering from post dramatic stress disorder, and she didn't know how to help him. Her suggestion that he see someone about it was usually brushed off and ignored, and his nightmares were becoming worse. She had tried everything she could think of to help him and nothing was working. She was getting really frustrated with him, and she felt guilty for being frustrated. She had wanted to be as supportive as she could, but it seemed like her efforts were in vain. All he wanted to do was tinker in the workshop with the suits. It seemed to be the only thing that could bring him peace, which did little for her confidence in herself and her place in his life. Rationally, she knew, after over a decade of friendship with him, that he loved her and needed her, as she did him. But the emotional part of herself was hurt by his withdrawal into himself, his lack of peace lying by her side in bed, unable to sleep, his inability to cope and recover and be the man she needed him to be.
It was supposed to be date night for them, and JARVIS had informed her hours ago via text that he had already eaten without her, and was in the process of launching another suit, which meant he'd be downstairs all night. She had been more than a little angry. She had been furious in fact, and the text had come through right as her meeting with Aldrich Killian was drawing to a close.
She had dressed that morning in her white suit, perhaps subconsciously trying up convey that she was pure, and therefore untouchable, upstanding and assured to whoever she dealt with that day. She had been dreading the meeting with Killian for weeks, and had woken up with a groan, not wanting to get out of bed. Tony was nowhere around, probably downstairs again, and she wondered if he had even come to bed at all. She had tried talking to him about Killian and her apprehension at having to see him again, but Tony had not really paid attention.
Prior to coming to work at Stark Industries, Pepper had landed a job at AIM working for Killian. It was a good way to get her foot in the door of corporate accounting after being a green graduate of UCLA with no work experience in her field. She had done some modeling in collage to pay bills, but still had astronomical student loans, nonetheless. She needed a paycheck that didn't involve being made up like Bozo the Clown and being hit on by every guy in the industry she met. But despite her new conservative business suit look, hair in a ponytail instead of waves, she still turned heads and drew attention, to her chagrin, the amusement of her male coworkers and jealousy of her female coworkers. She had not made many friends and felt very isolated at AIM. Then Killian, with his wild nerdy look, physical deformities and odd personality, had taken an interest in her.
It was next to impossible to shake him off, he was the boss after all, and he never seemed to take a hint when she repeatedly turned down his invitations for dinner or more. He was convinced it was because of his infirmities, but she couldn't explain to anyone, especially him, that while she did not find him physically attractive at all, the real reason she backed up from him was that, frankly, he creeped her out. There was something about him, something dark and foreboding, even manic, that raised her red flags. He had no concept of personal boundaries, and some of his comments made her seriously question his ethics and morals. He was driven and determined, and didn't take well to not getting what he wanted, as she witnessed when business deals fell through or a project didn't work out. He would yell or throw things, but then, the next second be calm and collected, smiling to himself as he walked out, and then the next day, the hapless employee who had displeased him found himself fired for something as mundane as being a minute late back from lunch, while others walked in fifteen minutes late with no reprimand. Killian would even go so far as to have nitpicky things put in the employees' file, questioning competence and insinuations to references, making it harder for the person to find a new job. With all of this, followed by his growing interest in her and the unfriendly work environment, Pepper had started looking elsewhere for a job.
She had jumped at the chance to move to Stark Industries, even though it meant $300 a month less in salary, a blow to someone struggling financially as she had been, but well worth it for her peace of mind. She immediately made friends at S.I., felt more comfortable in her work, and even with a playboy like Tony Stark as the CEO, never felt the burden of borderline sexual harassment. She had heard later that Killian had pitched a fit when she left, accusing her of being disloyal and of her being "stolen," by Tony, which was absurd because it would be another 6 months before she even met Tony Stark. He had tried calling her as much as 7 times a day until she switched to an unlisted number, then he had tried showing up at S.I. hoping to catch her to talk before she passed the security checkpoint.
Finally, he seemed to fade away, much to her relief, and the only thing she had heard about him came a few years later, when someone at AIM that she still corresponded with told her that Killian's reaction to hearing that she was now Tony Stark's personal assistant was a cold stare and a mutter of the words "what a waste," before never mentioning it again. She had all but forgotten Killian since then, until her new duties as CEO in Tony's place meant that she was now the one responsible for meeting with people like Killian to discuss business partnerships. She was resigned to this, but it still unnerved her. She had coasted through most of the day trying to distract herself with work until it was time for the meeting, wishing there was some way she could beg off of it. But she only knew that if she cancelled, he would reschedule, so the best thing was to get it over with as soon as possible.
This was why she had not been prepared for the man who stood waiting for her in the conference room. His face was the same, but instead of the manic, earnest genius, his expression was calm, cool and collected, and very sure of himself. His hair was cut and styled in glossy waves, and he stood upright in a well cut suit, without a hint of his misshapen spine or crippled legs ever having been a part of him. Standing upright, he could now look her square in the eye, and his gaze was strong a piercing. His smile to her was confident, and yet that hint of darkness was still there, if not more prevalent. He was almost predatory, but his body language was open and inviting, and Pepper found herself smiling in disbelief and, to her shock, attraction. The man in front of her was nothing like the man she remembered, and he was, well, alluring.
Pepper felt the oddest sensations wash over her as she sent a protesting Happy away. She still felt anxiety, but the dread was gone and was replaced by an odd sense of anticipation. She watched with unabashed fascination as he demonstrated his holo projector and how his project, Extremis, supposedly enhanced the human form as a possible next step in human evolution. His insistence that Extremis could cure all illness and infirmities, could heighten aspects of the human body, could be the greatest thing ever, both attracted her but also repelled her. It was obvious that he himself had been a recipient of this technology, which had cured his physical infirmities, even though he didn't say it. But she did note in the file that there was no FDA approval for human testing. He had done it without authorization. She was still practical enough, having spent 10 years helping Tony administer S.I. as a weapons company dealing with the military, to know how military minds would think about Extremis. They would see it as a means of creating super soldiers and weaponizing the process, and she would not have S.I. a party to that. No, Extremis was fascinating, a major breakthrough in bioengineering no doubt, but it was also too dangerous and she told him so.
But even as she did, even as she told him "no" to partnering AIM to S.I. to develop Extremis, she felt both caution and a weird warmth spreading through her. His nearness as he demonstrated the holo image to her, his unashamed invasion of her personal space once again, both made her uncomfortable and...turned on. She knew he didn't take disappointment well, but as he continued to look at her and smile, she felt as if she was being dunked into a hot tub. Tingling warmth spread down her spine to her core and she crossed her legs as she felt herself grow damp. What the hell was happening? The longer she spent in his presence, the more turned on she was getting. She didn't understand it.
He had offered to take her out for drinks later as a sort of no hard feelings gesture, which she had immediately initially declined. She was the high-profile girlfriend of a high-profile superhero, and the media gave them enough hell as it was guessing how long it would be until they broke up or have three kids, whichever came first. To be seen having drinks with another man, one who could be linked to her past if witnesses could be found who would gladly tell for a little money how Killian had pursued her in the past, would be begging for rumors and gossip. But then JARVIS' text had come through, indicating that she should not rush home as Tony had eaten dinner already and was tinkering with the latest suit, which ensured that he would not only be busy for the rest of the night in his workshop, but had clearly forgotten that it was the night they were supposed to spend together.
She was angry, no doubt, and more than a little hurt. She had looked up to see Killian smiling at her with allure again, and once again, felt that strange tingling want working its way down her spine to her core. Suddenly, any doubt was gone from her mind. She wanted to meet up with him later. She wanted to feel the intoxicating sensation of being near him. She had nearly forgotten that this was a man who had, for years, given her creepy feelings and had once all but stalked her. He seemed so different now. She felt herself inexplicably drawn to him.
"You know," she said, pocketing her phone, "I think I will meet up with you later. It's been a while, we should catch up. I don't really have to he anywhere for a while."
His smile was brilliant and she felt herself flush. "That's great," he said eagerly. "Won't um, Tony, mind though?"
Her smile wavered a bit. "He's busy booting up his latest invention. It usually takes a while, but he's going to be busy with it for a few more hours. We can talk business. I don't know why he'd mind about that," she said.
"Of course," Killian replied. "Business. I might convince you to back Extremis yet. If not, AIM is working on several projects Stark Industries might find fascinating. Who knows? Maybe there are...other liaisons we can forge?"
Pepper felt a jolt of electricity right between her legs at his words. Clearly he had meant it as an invitation to something other than business. But he had cloaked it as such to put the ball in her court, to accept if she wished, or pretend it was about business to save face. Pepper knew she had absolutely no intention of THAT. She might be mad at Tony and frustrated with him, but she loved him and was faithful to him. She was only meeting Killian as a professional courtesy, nothing more. Sure, it was a sideways way to get back at Tony, but in the end, it was harmless. And sure, she might be slightly attracted to Aldrich Killian, now that he had changed, with the hidden aspect of darkness about him adding to the dangerous allure of him, but it was an indulgence if the mind to her, nothing more. She'd meet him for drinks at the cafe near his place in Sherman Oaks, have one drink, and then go home. It was simple.
Oh, if only it had gone that way!
As they had walked out the door, Killian had said he wasn't going to pretend he wasn't disappointed, but to take care and he would see her later. Then he had, quite unexpectedly, landed a friendly peck on her cheek that had floored her and left her slightly flustered when Happy came out. She had brushed off his concerns, trying to hide her growing blush and discomfort, unsuccessfully before rushing back inside. She thought she would have to shake Happy off when she left, but oddly enough, he had ended up leaving early for the day. With a certain amount of apprehension and anticipation, she pointed her car towards Sherman Oaks instead of Malibu.
The entire drive, she asked herself what the hell she was doing. Why was she going to meet Killian when it was date night with Tony back home? Ok, so he had gotten caught up in his tinkering, as he always did, but really, what exactly was she expecting here? What were they supposed to talk about that they didn't cover in their official meeting? When Pepper had been around Killian, as time passed, she had found herself more and more drawn to him, her temperature raising, her breathing slightly faster, and that disquieting dampness between her legs, something she had never experienced around him before, and as of late, only experienced around Tony. Her decision to meet him later had been motivated by her overwhelming need to continue to feel his presence, nothing more. But hours had passed since then, and since he had left, the odd attraction to him had dissipated somewhat and now she wasn't sure what she felt at all. She was leaning back towards feeling apprehension around him. This morning she had dreaded meeting with Killian, now she was rushing after work for a second, unnecessary meeting?
She should turn around and go home now, she knew. But she had already accepted his invitation for drinks, and it would be rude to stand him up. She would make if quick and get home. She pulled into the parking lot of the cafe next to his apartment building and walked in. He was waiting for her at the door. He smiled broadly and with self assurance, and took both of her hands in his.
"I wasn't sure you'd come," he said.
"I said I would," she replied, "although I can't stay long. I have to get home."
She saw a dark flicker in his eyes before it was gone and he smiled again. "Tony waiting up for you?"
She wasn't quite able to hide the bitterness in her voice entirely when she laughed, "Hardly. When he gets going on a project, he'll look up at some point and realize its three days later."
He had led her to a small alcove, quite far out of the way of traffic, so enclosed, in fact, that it had three walls closing in a small table and Pepper felt a mild twinge of claustrophobia.
"I thought you'd want to be out of the line of sight," he said. "The paparazzi do seem to love you these days."
She blushed and mumbled "thank you."
They ordered some drinks and leaned across the table, talking about business related woes, tax season coming up soon, the stress over legal issues with contracts, and other things. Gradually, talk turned personal as he admitted he hadn't really dated much and he managed to get her to admit her frustration with Tony following the New York incident.
"So he's ignoring you for the suits?" Killian asked bluntly.
Pepper felt herself flush and felt her usual need to defend Tony, but since she had sat at this table, she had been feeling that odd attraction to Killian again, only stronger this time. She started to say that he was a genius whose mind just worked differently, and he had been through a lot, but her voice trailed off as Killian stared into her eyes and she felt her knees go inexplicably weak. What was wrong with her?
"You know Pepper," he said, "I'd never ignore you for an invention."
She knew her face must be as red as a tomato, and she could feel her willpower crumbling fast. If she hadn't known better, she'd swear she was drunk given how her inhibitions were flying out the window, but she had only had half a martini and didn't feel the least bit tipsy.
"Killian," she sighed, still refusing to call him by his first name despite his insistence, "You'll make some woman very happy someday I'm sure. But that is never going to be me."
She said it gently, kindly, and she expected him to look a little disappointed but accepting. She didn't expect him to smile even wider and lean into her with a dominant air. She felt her heart rate increase and her breathing catch. His scent was intoxicating and it was making her lightheaded.
"Oh I don't know," he said suggestively. "I expect I could make you very happy."
Then, before Pepper knew what had happened, he leaned across the tiny table and kissed her. And this time it wasn't a peck on the cheek either. Her first impulse was to pull away fast, get up and run for her car. But in an instant, that impulse was gone, replaced by an explosion of fiery lust that drove her to kiss him back. It went in for a very long minute, Long enough for any lingering doubts Pepper might have had to blow away. She knew nothing else but that she was consumed with lust for him, pretty sure she was going to die of a heart attack if she couldn't have him right there. Any thought of Tony or what this would mean for the both of them were nonexistent in her mind. Her eyes mirrored her surprise, but his eyes boring into hers caused her to smile back in invitation.
She only had a hazy blurry image of Killian paying for their drinks and leading her out the side door. She followed him without question to his apartment and back to his bedroom. At some point Pepper's logical mind did try to make an appearance and ask her just what the ever living hell she thought she was doing, but her lust driven mind soundly squelched it.
There were no formalities or prelude or even much foreplay. He shed his clothes in a matter of seconds, before starting to pull hers off. She didn't stop him but she couldn't bring herself to help him either. It was like she was on autopilot. He kissed her hard and guided her down onto his bed, climbing on top of her. He probed her with determination, and, finding her flowing with need already, guided himself in and entered her quickly. She yelped with his entry, feeling him stretch her, pull back, and then thrust in again. He kissed her roughly, possessively, driving her with his thrusting in time to his tongue probing her mouth. She arched into him, feeling his pubic bone press hard into her clit. His hands gripped her breasts but didn't linger there, more intent on the intercourse part. His mouth dropped to her neck and sucked as she squeezed her eyes shut.
Her mind couldn't form a clear thought. She tried to comprehend what was happening but her brain was awash with hormones, driving her like a race car and she had no control. With a particularly hard thrust, she orgasmed hard, crying out as she pulsed around him. With a shout, he followed her, his hot fluids filling her. She gulped and gasped, trying to catch her breath. Suddenly, her logical mind broke through the lust as she felt his semen being deposited inside her.
'Tony. I'm cheating on Tony. I'm being unfaithful to the man I love. I don't love this man. What am I doing?!'
She was still trying to fight for control of her mind when he finally collapsed on her, his body so hot it was almost unnatural. She peeked through her squeezed shut eyes and could have sworn she saw slight streaks of orange glow around his skin before she opened her eyes and saw nothing out of the ordinary about him. He was breathing hard as he pulled out, his smile almost apologetic, and still fiercely determined as he looked down at her.
She felt exposed, and now, ashamed at her nakedness, as she turned to her side facing away from him, trying to clear her lust driven mind and think straight. His smile became a bit more arrogant.
"Too much for you?" he said somewhat proudly and mockingly. "That's ok, you'll get used to it. This is going to be a good match for both of us, Pepper. And with Stark supporting Extremis, maybe some of my other projects too, we can see a lot of each other."
His words snapped her back to reality. Her mind instantly cleared. Support Extremis? She had already told him no and why. He expected more sex from her?
What the hell had she done, consenting to this time? She also didn't like the arrogant way he was looking at her. She knew damn well that she had been used, and she knew better than to bemoan that fact. It was Killian after all. No sense in focusing on that now. She needed to get out and fast, before anyone had seen her car nearby or worse, seen her leave with him. She needed to get away before whatever lust driven phenomenones that had happened to her took hold again. She could already feel it rising in her again, a driving need for him, as his hands began to wander possessively over her body. She rolled away and off the bed, not caring if he saw her in her complete naked form. She swiftly gathered up her clothes, pulling them back on.
"Going somewhere?" he asked somewhat disappointed.
"Home," she said firmly, "Where I should have gone straight from work. This was a mistake, a bad one. There won't be a repeat and none of this means Stark Industries will support your project, Killian. I don't make business decisions like this. The answer is still no."
His expression turned dark and she took an involuntary step back. His tone held the hint of a sneer when he said, "Oh really? Seems like the bedroom is where you made a lot of business decisions with Tony. And it's not like he's taking care of you there if you were so eager for a go with me."
She wanted to fire back at him angrily, but some instinctive self preservation part of her mind that was still in control urged her to let it go and get out. She had managed to get herself looking decent and grabbed her purse and shoes. She flew out the door and down the stairs to the street, pausing to put on her heels before going outside, and rushing to her car. She broke about three traffic laws pulling out of the parking lot, blowing through a red light and rushing to the freeway to get back home to Tony's mansion in Malibu. She had to be dreaming. This was just a bad dream, it had to be. She had just been unfaithful to Tony with Aldrich Killian, a man she had distrusted and been repulsed by for so long. Did she really find him attractive now? How had she?
And yet she had. She still did. Actually, she could still feel the burning lust for him in the back of her mind, her body still experiencing the occasional orgasmic aftershock. But the further away she drove from him and the closer she got to Tony, the more consumed with horror she became. She started to shake badly and she felt nauseous. What the hell had she done? And why? And what was she supposed to do now?
She knew she had to tell Tony. Cheating was one thing, but being dishonest was worse. When they had first become a couple, they had kept it quiet for several months, knowing that when their relationship became public knowledge, the media would eviscerate both of them with bets on how long it would take Tony to get bored with her and be caught cheating. Everyone just assumed a womanizer like him would eventually cheat, for surely one woman would never be enough? Telling everyone they had already been together for months without problems took some of the wind out of the sails of that argument. But she had told Tony that she wouldn't tolerate cheating if they were going to be a couple. She had made him promise never to lie to her if he did it, that if he were honest about it, she'd consider giving him a second chance, but that lying was worse than infidelity to her. She also to him that if she ever found out he had been unfaithful from a source other than him, it was over without question. He had nodded solemnly and agreed. Now here she was, *she* had been the unfaithful one. She bet nobody saw that one coming, certainly not herself.
She had not gotten out of bed that morning intending to be having sex with anyone except Tony later. She was angry and frustrated with him, but not enough to jeopardize her relationship with him. She had been dreading seeing Aldrich Killian, how had she ended up in bed with him? Hot tears started to flow down her cheeks. She had betrayed Tony. Poor Tony, a genius orphan who always wondered if his parents had ever loved him. Lonely and isolated by his wealth and intelligence, used by women as much as he had used them, but with no true loving relationship most of his life. Betrayed by his godfather who sought to have him killed by terrorists so he could control the company, the regent unwilling to hand over the throne to the boy king. Traumatized by the events in New York, making it impossible for him to sleep without nightmares. Now, his girlfriend, the one person he trusted to never lie to him or betray him had just, out of the blue, slept with another man, a man she had almost despised. This was going to devastate him. But she had to tell him.
Her stomach twisted into a knot of fear as she drove through the gate, the sun completely gone on the horizon. She felt an unpleasant nauseous twist and her head was pounding. It was over between them, she knew it. She obviously couldn't support him emotionally or physically and he would never trust her again. He would be so angry and hurt. She might as well start packing her things tonight and start looking for a place to live tomorrow. A deep seething hatred of Killian rose in her chest. She was certain he must have done something to her, but she couldn't figure out that. Whatever had happened, thought, it virtually assured the end of her relationship with Tony. And the more she thought about it, the more she was convinced that he had done do on purpose, with that very intent, for no reason other than she had spurned his advances for years, then shot down his business offer. For that, he had done something to her to make her more than willing to ruin her life for a roll in the hay with him, even assuming she would change her mind in the process. Why would he assume that, unless he had done something out of the ordinary to her mind? She could already feel the hazy lust fading. It was being replaced by disgust. All the more proof that something had been done to her to alter her behavior, because she asked herself would she still want Killian now, even debonair and handsome and supposedly cured of his disabilities? She might feel attraction, but she would not have sex with him. That she had meant something out of the ordinary must have happened.
She pulled around into the drive and saw a strange sight. A giant stuffed bunny was sitting in the circle drive wearing a sign that said "Merry Christmas Pepper" around its neck. She got out and gaped at it, slightly shaking her head. Tony.
Tears threatened at her eyes again, and she got back into the car and drive down the garage drive, something she rarely did, to park her car in his workshop. She felt her stomach grow cold as she drove down the sloping, circular tunnel, the doors parting to allow her access, and she drove alongside his Audi R8 and parked.
"Pep?" Tony's voice called with surprise, "Why are you parking down here? Is it raining?"
At the sound of his voice she felt her stomach twist and she started shaking again. She felt dizzy. Suddenly he was at her door pulling it open and leaning into her.
"Hey, are you okay?" he asked. "You look kind of sick."
"Move," she whispered, "I think I am going to be sick."
He jumped out of her way as she kicked her heels off in the car and tumbled out of the door. Stumbling she dashed past him to the small bathroom on the other side of the workshop. She made it just in time as the contents of her stomach spilled out into the toilet. She felt herself go weak as she sank to the floor and curled up into a ball sobbing. Tony was at her side in an instant.
"Hey, hey, don't cry, it's okay," he whispered. "It's probably just a stomach bug. Why don't you go up and take a shower and go to bed early?"
She didn't answer but instead curled up even tighter, her crying becoming more insistent.
Tony was at a loss. It's not like he had never seen Pepper get sick before.
Such things were never pleasant, but part of being a biological entity. Lord knows she had seen him hurl plenty of times, due to hangovers. He couldn't comprehend why she was crying now. It especially unnerved him, because she almost never cried from commonplace emotions. She only cried when something was terribly wrong, and that scared him.
"Pep, please come on, it's not that bad," he said. "You'll probably feel better in the morning."
"Not sick," she whimpered. "It's worse."
"Something's worse than being sick?" he asked. 'Oh lord, is she pregnant?' he wondered to himself.
She didn't answer, but only nodded and turned her face away.
"Did something happen?" he asked.
Again she nodded, squeezing her eyes shut.
"Can you tell me?" he asked.
"I have to," she whimpered.
He waited, but she didn't say anything. He thought about nudging her or saying something, but instead sat back and waited for her to come to her senses. Finally she started to speak.
"The, uh, the meeting with Killian went okay," she said. "We're not going to be able to do business with him, though. This project is too dangerous. I don't want our name tied to it, if something goes wrong."
Tony nodded, knowing that Pepper always make good decisions like these, but it didn't explain why she was upset.
"He uh... he asked me if I was up to going to get a drink after work," she admitted. "I didn't really want to, but JARVIS said you were busy, and, uh, had already eaten so... I figured you were busy."
She wasn't completely able to keep the disappointment out of her voice, or the mild irritation, and with a lurch, Tony remembered it was date night.
"Oh Pep I, I'm sorry," he started, but she stopped him with a wave. She didn't want him to apologize, when in a minute, she expected to be the one begging for forgiveness.
"I...met up with him after work," she said quietly.
Tony was confused. "I thought he made your skin crawl? I thought you couldn't wait to get the meeting over with? Why meet up with him again?"
Pepper squeezed her eyes shut and bit back another wave of bile as ittried to work its way up her throat.
She shook her head. "I...I don't know. I wanted to. I can't explain it. He's different now, he...he's not crippled anymore, he's not awkward and wild, he's..."
"What, prince charming or something?" Tony asked, meaning it as a joke.
He didn't expect her to answer "Yeah." He felt an odd twist in his abdomen and a pressure between his eyes. He wasn't often in a situation where he felt stings of jealousy, so it was weird to feel them now.
"I figured just one drink to catch up on old stuff, and then come home," she said. "I wasn't expecting...I didn't know I was going to...I didn't plan...he was..."
She broke off and choked back a sob, burying her face again. Now Tony was scared, and angry. What had happened? Had Killian done something to Pepper? Hurt her in some way? She had always said he gave her a creepy feeling and had borderline stalked her before. She had been having an alcoholic drink. Had he slipped her the date rape drug?
"Did he...hurt you?" Tony asked stiffly.
"Not exactly," she said softly. "He...he was flirting. And he was...overpowering. I couldn't think straight. It was intoxicating.
I...felt...I didn't have any control over myself, it's like I was high or something..."
She broke off, unable to go on, her hand over her eyes.
Tony felt his head go hot and he sat back on his heels, looking down at her still lying on her side in her rumpled white suit, curled up into a ball hugging herself, her eyes staring off into the distance, or closed tightly.
"You...you're saying you were, what? Turned on by him?" he asked slowly.
Pepper nodded. "It was like I was drunk. I don't know how it happened...he...he kissed me. And I, uh, I didn't fight it."
Tony felt a jolt of ice in his stomach and hot anger flashed in his head. She had kissed another man? Or let another man kiss her without protest? His first impulse was to jump up and yell at her, and then go find Killian and beat the crap out of him. But then he calmed down and told himself not to overreact. She was obviously upset about the entire thing, and she did say she had felt weird, as if intoxicated. She didn't seem drunk now and had driven home ok, but she had indicated that Killian had caused some sort of state in her that kept her from thinking clearly. She didn't know why. He had certainly done stupid stuff while intoxicated, there was no point in giving Pepper a hard time. He would just have to make sure she was never alone again with Aldrich Killian, and be sure to chew Happy out for letting her go alone in the first place.
He took a deep breath and said "Pepper...that's not like you, you never get wasted and get into situations like these. Someone might have been around with a camera. It might still end up in the Enquirer. I'll get JARVIS to scan the joint for any security footage and delete it, if you let me know where you were. Erase any security video and this will all be just a bad mistake. We can put it behind us. You're not, uh, interested in him are you?"
"No..." she whispered.
"Well then, don't do that again," he said with a smile. "I mean I'm not cool with you kissing other guys, but I've done crazy stuff while drunk. Belgian princess' birthday party in '03 comes to mind. Let's just forget about it. Come on, shower time."
He held out his hand to her, but she shook her head. "That's not all, Tony.
It's...it's worse. Worse than just a kiss."
He dropped his hand and looked at her, unsure now. Worse? How could it be worse? What had happened?
"How much worse?" he asked evenly, but with dread.
"We...didn't stay there," she said in despair. "I, uh, followed him out.
I...couldn't resist. I didn't even want to. I can't explain it."
"Followed him where?" Tony asked, his throat going dry.
"His...his apartment," she gulped.
"You went to his apartment?" Tony asked, his voice oddly high. "And then...?"
Pepper squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head hard, turning her face away into the floor, her crying resuming.
"No..." Tony moaned, "No you didn't. Pepper...you...you had *sex* with him?"
She nodded in misery, unable to look at him.
Tony sprang to his feet but managed to overcome the urge to back away from her. Instead, burning fury consumed him. He was so pissed off he couldn't see straight. He looked around for something to hit, and settled for the wall. He'd repair the hole later. She jumped at the sound but didn't look up. Tears burned the corner of his eyes. Not Pepper! She wouldn't betray him like this!
But as he looked down at her, still curled up the floor, he knew she had. The main reason: Pepper couldn't lie if her life depended on it. One of the reasons he had hired her as his PA in the first place was because of her honesty. She hated games like poker where she had to bluff. The only time she had ever managed it was when Stane had cornered her in the office as she was downloading secret files for Tony. She was telling him this, he knew, because she wouldn't be able *not* to. She wouldn't be able to lie to him about this, so she was being honest upfront. It wasn't escaping him either that she was the one who had cheated after the lecture she had given him about what would happen if he ever did. But she had insisted he be honest about it if he ever did, and it looked like she was holding herself to the same standard. But that did little for Tony right now.
The woman he loved, who he couldn't live without, who he was in a committed relationship with, a first for him, had slept with another man, someone she had claimed to dislike intensely. He wanted to run, to scream, cry, yell and rage at her, and at the same time grab her and hug her and beg her for an explanation why she had done it. He knew he hadn't been attentive lately and his own problems were consuming him, but was she the kind of person who just dropped the ball when things got hard and went off with someone else? He hadn't thought she was. He couldn't stand this. He couldn't stand being in the room with her, the betrayal. He turned and stormed out leaving Pepper biting back waves of hurt and shame.
He went out to the shop and punched the sofa until his knuckles were sore, then got up and sat in his desk chair, staring at a wall, trying to think about what he should do now. Should she move out? Was this the end, were they finished? Did he want her gone? He just didn't know. The thought of her gone from the house and his life, worse, in another man's arms and bed, made him cold with loneliness and sick with terror. But the thought if her in the next room, in the house, still around after cheating on him, made him hot with fury. He had never thought she would be the one to let him down and betray him this way.
Pepper didn't know how long she lay on the floor crying. It seemed like both minutes and hours. Checking her watch, she saw it had been about twenty minutes. Gradually, her tears ceased and although she was still miserable, a firm resolve had sunk in. She wasn't convinced she hadn't been drugged. If she had been, she needed to know, and she might be running out of time to do it. If this was the end of her life with Tony, it wasn't going to be without a fight. Although she was repulsed by the idea of Killian, the residual lust was still there. Whatever might have been done to her could still be detected. She dragged herself up, flushed the toilet and rinsed her mouth out. She knew Tony was still in the shop and she dreaded going out and facing him, but she had to. She needed his help.
Slowly, she walked out and saw him sitting at his desk, brooding, his back to her. He didn't turn around when she walked out.
"I need your help," she said softly. He didn't answer, so she continued, "I wasn't behaving normally, Tony. I don't know what he did, but he did something, and I can still feel it. Do you have any way of taking blood samples and running blood tests? Because if he drugged me, I need to know."
Tony turned to look at her. "You really think you were?" he asked a little tonelessly.
She shrugged. "It's all I've got at this point."
Tony looked away, trying to mask the pain from his face.
"If I might say so, sir," JARVIS chimed in, "the AMAC would certainly suffice for such tests."
"AMAC?" Pepper asked.
"It stands for Accessible Medical Analysis Chamber," said Tony. "It was one of my designs for the military. It was designed to be used in the field by mobile military hospitals. It can perform all the tests a regular lab could. I built a prototype. It's what I was using to track my blood toxicity when the arc was leaking palladium. It has a remote sample collector I carried around."
Tony still would not look at her, but at least he was answering which meant he was listening.
"If I may say so, sir," said JARVIS, "it would likely be prudent to make use of the main collection chamber to begin with, rather than the remote. To do an initial full blood screen, the system would have to collect several vials, not just a few drops."
Pepper paled and gulped a little but nodded. Tony was still angry, angry enough to consider being childish and refusing to help, but logically he knew it was best to eliminate the possibility of Pepper having been drugged before allowing himself to be overcome by that anger. With a sigh, he got up and walked past her to a contraption in a corner. She followed.
He pulled the device from the corner and activated it, then pulled a stool up to one side of it, and motioned for her to sit. She noticed that he still refused to make eye contact with her, and she couldn't decide whether to be hurt or relieved. She knew that, as far as the "rules" of relationships went, she really didn't have the right to be hurt. She had cheated on him. She certainly didn't have the right to expect him to act like nothing had happened. She should probably be counting herself lucky he was even talking to her at all, she figured. But still, it did hurt. She couldn't understand why she had done what she had done, especially after coming to her senses, and the thought of being drugged in some way automatically would render tonight's events as assault. What she wanted, she realized, was comfort and assurances that everything would be ok. But how could Tony give her that when it looked for all the world like a consensual and intentional case of infidelity?
"Stick your arm in here," he said, pointing to the opening in the side.
She hesitated. Many of Tony's inventions had a tendency to explode or catch fire before being fully tested out. But then, he had said he had tried it out on himself already, and she figured a burned arm would probably be the least of her worries, as she was currently looking down the barrel of a major and very public breakup with her superhero boyfriend, unless she could come up with some kind of explanation.
She pulled her suit jacket off to just her thin, short sleeved shirt, and slid her arm into the chamber. The opening sealed itself around her arm and small robotic arms came to life. She watched in fascination as the deft robotic appendages moved, swabbing her inner elbow with an alcoholic solution, and an automated blood pressure cuff coming to life around her arm as it both took her blood pressure, but also allowed the sensing eye to locate a vein. She looked away as another arm with a needle and collection vials moved towards her and expertly inserted the needle to begin collecting her blood. She had always hated needles, even though she wasn't squeamish, but she was in no mood to watch the process. She felt the robotic arms retract, but others came to life, measuring her pulse, and blood sugar from her fingertips. An external arm came to life and moved up to her face, with a mechanized voice instructing her to first blow into the tube for a breathalyzer test, then to breathe normally for a respiration test.
All in all, the entire process took about twenty minutes as the machine measured many of her vitals and ran a multitude of tests. Pepper had to admit, she was impressed with the level this mobile contraption could perform. Her business mind was already racing with the possibilities of marketing this device for Stark Industries, but she was brought back by JARVIS' voice letting them know that the full range of toxicology tests and analysis likely would not be ready before the morning.
As the machine released her, Pepper stood up somewhat shakily and grabbed her
jacket. Tony had already turned back to his work station.
"I'm going to go take a shower," she said softly.
"'K," Tony said without looking back.
She felt tears spring into her eyes, but she bit them back. She wanted more than anything to ask him to join her, at the very least so she could try and forget her last sexual experience with Killian, but she knew that wasn't going to happen. This was probably the only scenario in which Tony Stark would actively refuse sex, and she didn't want to find out how true that was.
She walked past him towards the stairs, still feeling queasy, but stopped when she heard his voice.
"I, uh...I don't think," he started, then continued, "I don't think we should sleep in the same room, at least not tonight. I need to think, and uh...I just can't."
She didn't turn around, mostly because she didn't want him to see the tears she could no longer hold back. But honestly, she had been expecting this.
"OK," she said just loud enough for him to hear, and then rushed onward up the stairs, allowing herself time to cry only when she was safely out of earshot. If she had looked back, she would have seen the same look, and forced back tears, on his face.