"Thank you for all of your help today, Laurent," Robin said as she finished checking the conditions of all the weaponry. "I was afraid I wasn't going to get everything done today, but now I may actually have time to relax for a change."
She gave a large smile, a cast of relief in her brown gaze.
"I am glad I was able to assist you," I replied, smiling back at her as I put away the final sword. "Even more so that I have given you an opportunity to repose and recoup your strength. Already, you appear to be much better than when we first made camp here."
To say her health was ameliorating stupendously was an understatement. From the first moment I was found and recruited into Chrom's army, it was clear as day that our only tactician was belabored with her position was beyond words. The dark circles under her eyes, the constant work and taking hardly any time to breathe... She was endlessly relied on, and I knew that if something wasn't done, we could dissipate our second most valuable member of the army.
It was my responsibility to make sure every individual in the army was in close to perfect status, thus I took it upon myself to assist Robin in any way I could; while also learning more about tactics in the process. Though stubborn, argumentative every time I suggested she should take a break, it appeared that my efforts have finally paid off. Despite the great success...it may have paid off too well.
Robin gave off a slight awkward laugh.
"I guess that little fall of mine really made me realize how much weight I've put on myself... At times like these...it's easy to forget that I'm human as well. Your scolding made it even more obvious."
At mention of the fall, I could sense my pale face reddening. The memory exhilarated to my mind, even though I've made a valiant effort to keep it at bay. It had taken place right before we left our last bivouac, the army preparing to move out to pursue our war against Walhart. Robin was packing her things, and I was then making my daily trip to visit her to see what I could do to assist. When I was allowed into her tent, I was surprised on how utterly exhausted she was.
Her face deathly pale, her eyelids struggling to stay open and how unkempt her long white hair was. She was, in the bluntest of terms, an awful mess, and I was soon overcome with the need to get her to rest. We quarreled, Robin insisting that she was fine and needed to finish her packing. She hated to show weakness, I instantaneously learned from the moment we met, and to prove it to me, she was going to attempt to relocate her small desk out of the tent. Unfortunately, in her overworked state, she stumbled over her own feet and would have collided with the ground...if it had not been for me catching her at the last minute.
I adhered her in my arms for no more than a few seconds, a simple gesture to keep her from colliding with the hard ground. But...the moment we made physical contact, my heart was pounding so fast I thought to be pulverized. I was as if I had been struck with thunder, all thought ceasing as our eyes met. Robin was just as startled, discombobulated and staring at me with a blank expression. Reacting immediately, I lectured her to sit down before we moved out. Ever since then, she had been more accepting to my advice, being less resistant. And as for myself...
"I'm...sorry if I spoke harshly," I finally reciprocated, repressing the urge to fix my glasses from nervousness. "It was hardly my place and I was concerned for your well being."
"You weren't out of line, and it was something I needed to hear." A faint smile came to Robin's intriguingly attenuate lips, being slightly chapped and very parched. "And I...greatly appreciate it. You've-"
"Ah, there you are, Robin!"
Glancing passed the tactician, I saw Chrom coming towards us.
"Oh, hi Chrom," Robin said, turning to face him. "Are you in need of something?"
Chrom took a moment to catch his breath, seemingly to have been wandering around for some time.
"Uh yes," he explained, "if you are not too busy that is. Frederick reported seeing some risen being spotted nearby. We may need to come up with strategies on how to keep them at bay or at least try to find a source so they don't raid any nearby towns."
"I see... Well, I've gotten all of my chores done for the day so let's see what we've got."
Before departing, Robin took one last glimpse at me.
"Thanks again for all the help today, Laurent. I'll see you later."
I nodded in response. "Always happy to assist. Just...don't over exert yourself, Robin."
That last sentence came out slightly off, my voice trailing off as if I wasn't sure if I wanted to say it out loud. I groaned internally, however Robin didn't seem to notice my discomfort and only smiled. She then turned to make her way to the battle tent, Chrom following her after giving me a respectful nod. Walking close side by side, a close aura between them that had been developed from all the battles they have shared together.
I forced myself to turn away, a strong resentment flowing in my veins that should not be there. Of course Robin and Chrom would have a intimate, close relationship. Their work practically forces them to be constantly together! Yet despite their bond, Chrom was married to Sully while Robin had yet to officially court with anyone. Concluding that she was available to whoever she wanted, with plenty of men in the camp who admired her...
Not...n-not that it was any of my business!
I clutched my fists, cursing at my own unruly thoughts. I stormed out of the weaponry storage and training area, reasoning to myself that Robin was my superior, mentor, and nothing more. True, her lax personality would not place rank over friendships, but I had gotten too comfortable with her. These...emotions that I was harboring could get in the way for the good of the army. I need to keep things professional between Robin and I, no matter how much I relish in her company as she seems to take pleasure in mine. I couldn't...and there was no way she could return...
"Laurent, watch out!"
I was so lost in my own thoughts that I was oblivious to Lucina, who I was about to collide into. Fortunately, she was able to reach me at the last possible moment, my balance faulting slightly in the process.
"My apologies, Lucina," I said, regaining my composure. "I didn't see you there. Was lost in thought."
Lucina raised an eyebrow, her gaze studying me carefully.
"Laurent, are you okay?" she questioned, crossing her arms. "This isn't like you to space out like that, not to mention you look extremely pale. Are you feeling well?"
In an impetuous attempt to maintain my equanimity, I cleared my throat. Of all people to catch me at my enervated moment...
"I am well, if only a little fatigued," I answered, taking the ends of my glasses and fixing their position. "I am...off to my tent to take in a moment of tranquility. There is no need for you to concern yourself with me, Lucina."
In an effort to justify I was speaking the truth, I kept vigorous eye contact with Chrom's daughter. Graceful, capable, and intelligent...it was sometimes hard to picture Lucina being Sully's child instead of Robin's.
How...how was it that Robin...
They were constantly intimate, more so Chrom was with Sully, so how was it possible that they did not marry?!
"...You do realize that this would be the last thing Robin would want you to do, right?"
I blinked a couple of times, seeing that Lucina was glaring at me intensely.
"...Pardon me?"
She let out a heavy sigh.
"Laurent, I am your friend, and I know you are the type of person who likes to handle things by himself. I understand that, but this is seriously going too far."
She took a step closer, in an attempt to make sure that my attention would not weave away from her. I admit...I was taken aback to see such frustration from her, when she was normally levelheaded about everything.
"You worry about everyone's health and stability, yet when it comes to your own, you cast it aside like it is meaningless! Instead of making yourself miserable by pretending nothing's wrong, you need to confront Robin and tell her how you truly feel! Otherwise..." Her gaze and voice softened. "...Otherwise you are going to drive yourself mad. You're not proving anyone that you are stronger this way, nor is it helping the army. You're only hurting yourself, and that is something none of us want to see."
I narrowed my eyes, my defenses rising.
"...You are being ridiculous, Lucina. What makes you possibly believe that I-"
"Laurent, don't even go there."
She cut me off, the firmness returning to her voice.
"You spend so much of your free time with Robin that even Cynthia and Yarne have noticed. Not to mention you seem to glare at my father every time he is near her, and that you are constantly finding excuses to help with her work. You praise her nonstop and..."
Evidence after evidence...it did not take long for Lucina to present the undeniable truth. My mouth became dry, unable to retain eye contact. I stood there silent till she was done speaking, my body becoming a hundred times heavier.
"...Regardless how I feel towards Robin is the least relevant conflict at the moment. I need to consider what is best for the army and Robin. Gaining personal attachments would only provide distractions. And I..."
My voice trailed off, for it was too painful to announce out loud. The memory of when I lost my father and mother in the future replayed in my mind, the overwhelming and consuming loneliness I felt for three agonizing years when I came to the present time...
My heart ached already seeing Robin in the company of other men. If we were to become any closer than this, and if she were to leave me...
There was a long silence, all of my attention on my breathing as I fought to steady it. Lucina was unusually quiet, and I could feel her sympathetic blue gaze on me. If anyone were to comprehend my struggle, it was her, who has suffered the most out of all of us. It was...pathetic of me to angst in my own personal issues when others have been through worse. I had to be the strong man I longed to prove I was, and without another word, I walked passed Lucina and headed for the medical tent.
Desperate to elude Robin out of my mind, I searched for something to do till there was nothing else left unaccomplished.