First and foremost, I would like to thank everyone who's reviewed, emailed or
commented for Cup of Coffee :)
This piece is quite rushed. It's a spur of the moment piece and I'm not too
proud of it. I hope it's not too confusing. It's based on the song "His Song"
by Stina Nordenstam.
Standard Disclaimer Applies.
Now onward with the story! Remember, all feedback is greatly appreciated.
Another song-fic.
------------------------
HIS SONG - ANGEL BLISS (G)
angelbliss78@hotmail.com
... there she goes
Waiting for her love
------------------------
They all know her, she's a regular sight of this cafe. They all watch her, wait
with her. They all look up when the bell chimes with her. They all feel her
pain, her sorrow, her happiness. They know her. Everyone knows her. She's
the girl who waits.
------------------------
There she goes
Waiting for her love
There she goes waiting for the big surprise
That'll change her world
That'll change her world
That'll change her world
That'll change my world
------------------------
Everyday I sit here. I sit here and wait patiently for him to appear. Everyday I
sit in this booth, hoping and praying that today he will pass by. Everyday I'm greeted
by the familiar faces of the regulars, the waiters and waitresses as I sit patiently
in booth number five, quietly drumming my fingers along the benchtop. Infact, I'm
here so often, I'm even on first name terms with the manager for god's sake! Don't
ask me why. Don't ask me how. I can't explain... It's as though some invisible force
pulls me here, back to this spot daily, and as always, it's exactly at 4:06pm sharp.
On the dot, and make no mistakes. Yep, It's always at this time exactly everyday
that I need to be sitting here and waiting. Waiting, because somehow, I have this
crazy gut instinct telling me that by waiting something will happen. That by waiting,
I will be shown some secret door that will forever change my life. And for some
bizarre reason, I know today is the day. Today is the day that that something I
have been ever so patiently waiting for will arrive. Today is the day that I will open
mystery door number one and unlock it's secret. Today is the day he will show up.
------------------------
I know that I can't have you
I know that you will never be mine
I know that and that's why I choose you
Cause this is real life ...
------------------------
They all know her, knew of her, who wouldn't if you'd had spent two entire years gazing
out of the same booth day in day out just waiting. But of course they don't see her
anymore. No, she never returned after that day 'he' arrived. No more is the young girl
whom had once quietly hidden herself in the corner, patiently awaiting her gift, her suprise.
Her promised return for all the countless hours she had spent in that particular booth.
And yet she's back today. exactly Fifteen months, and Eighteen days since she last sat in
the booth. And she stares out the window, into the busy street as she once did. It had all
seemed too surreal at first, as though everything had been directly lifted out of the pages of
a children's fairytale book. Except then again, she wasn't exactly your idea of your damsel
in distress, but nonetheless, prince charming _had_ come strolling in one particular Autumn
day and just swept her off her feet. Just like that. And it seemed as though that was the last
that anyone from that quaint little cafe would ever hear of her. I mean, Of course there were
the occasional odd glimpses of that young girl's face passing by the shop front, full of
happiness and fulfillment which could only come as the returning gesture of one whom was
loved.
So the question stuck on our minds - Why was she back here, back to the start?
It seemed that the illusion of a fairytaled world which she had created for all of us had ceased
to exist at the exact moment she stepped through the doors today. Somehow, the magic she
had once weaved as she waited here previously had died in her absence. Her youth and
innocence was gone, only to be replaced by a more mature and grieving aura.
------------------------
See how I'm smiling
Well you should be surprised cause I
Used to get sad just by talking about him
It's not that I forgot him
Tonight he was here with me saying
He'd changed his mind he decided to stay
------------------------
I smile as I push the bobbing marshmallows down into the steaming cocoa mix. Marshmallow
influenced memories flood through my mind. I can't help but smile, It's an odd sensation
I must admit. It feels as though it's been almost a life-time since I had last felt the tugging
of my cheeks. But as I look up at the old clock on the wall, I see the date. It's already been
Eleven months and Eight days since you've been gone. I smile again at this odd thought,
you would be suprised at how I'm surviving. Yes, it has been a long time. Far too long to
still hold on. I no longer feel the urge to reminisce and relive the moments we shared,
to tell stories which therefore in turn would end up hurting me. No.. somehow it's different
today. I woke up and suddenly the pain was all gone. The memories of what I have lost had faded.
No, I could never forget him. Forget who he was, what he meant to me, the timeless moments
we shared. It's nothing along those lines. It's just that there's a feeling tugging at my heart's strings,
telling me today will be a better day, a different day. Today is the day I forget the pain and rebuild
myself. Today he wants me back. It's in the atmosphere, it's in the very air we breathe. I can
feel it.
------------------------
It's a dream
There's no need to tell me so
It's a dream
Don't you think I know
But I just never noticed
That it could be this close
From being dreaming to being alive
From having nothing to having it all
From being in love to being poor
------------------------
She enters, face full of life today. The room immediately lights up. There's something different
about her today, we can all feel it. We can see it, breathe it, feel it pulsing through our veins.
Today she's smiling again, today is different to every one of the other days since she has
returned. Today is as though she is walking back in her dreams, right where she belongs.
Today she gives us a fresh breath of life.
But who would ever know until a later day, not even herself that she would spend another large
portion of her time walking, living and breathing a dream world. Retracing her steps and waiting
all over again. Who would ever know watching her at this moment that her dreams were what
sustained her, that gave her this new lease of life. That this dream was so real, so honest in her
eyes that the thin line between reality and fantasy ceased to exist to her. Her world was immune
to all pain and heartbreak. She was once again the naive child that sat in this exact booth over
a year ago. She was so numb and desperate to believe that she lapsed back into her youth.
------------------------
I skip that lipstick
I don't care what I wear today
My thoughts are with him
When I walk out in the street
People were staring
Then I felt my face was wet
I didn't notice I'd started to cry
------------------------
I never was a very good morning person. With or without him. The awful dread of waking up
and seeing yourself at its worst isn't exactly my idea of inviting. As I reluctantly leave
the warmth and comfort of my bed, the mirror greets me with an image of my tousled hair
and sleep covered eyes. Nothing has changed, everything is still the same. Everything
except the fact that I can still feel my heart being tugged at, experiencing a sensation
that you could only ignite from me. I'm one step closer to finding you again - the birds are
singing it through the warm spring breeze.
My urgency to set off and reach my usual destination to await your arrival has allowed me
to skip my routine make-up, to ignore the careful selection of what to wear. I carelessly toss
on a shirt and a pair of jeans, knotting up my hair then running out of the house. Who cares
how I look like? There's no one to impress when my thoughts are only with you.
Lost in thought, I helplessly lapse back in time and despite my happiness at the thought of
finding you again, my mind replays the pain, the agony which I have managed to bury deep
down inside. The questions suddenly start to flood, the many "How Comes?" and the ever
so popular "What If's?". Unbeknownst to me, but ever so blatantly obvious to the rest of the
world, my unhappiness which I'd managed to hide so carefully began to show it's cracks
on my perfect porcelain face. He didn't love me... He wasn't coming back. I had been living
a dream trying to ease my own pain now that this pain had become so unbearable. I had
believed he wanted to come back to make it all better. The feelings in my heart were all a
charade to give me one final dosage of the love and happiness he could only give me, and
a final blast of immense pain which I could only feel once because I could love no other like
I had loved him. Reality was with me once again, as I felt the single solitary tear trickle
down my face.
------------------------
I'm through with traveling
I now know what I was after
I stay right here now I've found
What I searched for
I know he doesn't love me
No he doesn't care much
Don't seem to stop him from killing me slowly
------------------------
The number of her visits slowly began to dwindle as the days passed. After the day she
showed up with tear stains etched on her milky complexion, her happiness finally
became obvious to us that it was all a charade. But the question was to fool who? Now that it
was exposed to the world, surely there was no one else to fool but herself. And even that
became a wary bet.
She doesn't wait anymore. The few visits we recieve are now brief, It's as though she
suddenly became aware of the reason why she had sat there, patiently awaiting so many
times as she had done in the past. Her search for closure has finally come to an end, a sad
sight to behold - to watch the fire in a dreamer's passionate eyes die out. To see how those
who have truly ever loved close the chapters of their travels and slowly fade into a memory.
To see them slowly die into a nobody.
------------------------
A dream
There's no need to tell me so
Its a dream
Don't you think I know
------------------------
I finish my drink. I won't be back for a while. The dream is over, no one needs to tell me,
I can see it myself. I see it every morning in my eyes when I wake up. I see it in my
reflection on the passing of shop windows. Why do I come back here? It's merely all an
escape away from reality - to return to the days of wishinful thinking and dreaming. To be
someone I can never be again. It's nice to pretend, forget all the pain. It's all a dream now.
Just because he doesn't care anymore.. that doesn't stop my loss from killing me slowly.
It's only my wishful thinking I have here, I know it all too well.
------------------------
But I just never noticed
That it could be this close
From being dreaming to being alive
From having nothing to having it all
From being in love to being poor
------------------------
The bells chime softly as she leaves the building. Although it's all a charade, it's hard to
believe it when you are looking directly in her eyes, to think that she still doesn't believe.
You simply can't see the thin line between reality and dreams when you're looking into
the eyes of one who's love is so strong that they can still believe.
The soft bells chime again as I look up from cleaning her table.
"Excuse me, but.."
He's here, and looking for her.
"No, Sorry she just left. But you might still catch up with her."
angelbliss78@hotmail.com
24 August 2003
commented for Cup of Coffee :)
This piece is quite rushed. It's a spur of the moment piece and I'm not too
proud of it. I hope it's not too confusing. It's based on the song "His Song"
by Stina Nordenstam.
Standard Disclaimer Applies.
Now onward with the story! Remember, all feedback is greatly appreciated.
Another song-fic.
------------------------
HIS SONG - ANGEL BLISS (G)
angelbliss78@hotmail.com
... there she goes
Waiting for her love
------------------------
They all know her, she's a regular sight of this cafe. They all watch her, wait
with her. They all look up when the bell chimes with her. They all feel her
pain, her sorrow, her happiness. They know her. Everyone knows her. She's
the girl who waits.
------------------------
There she goes
Waiting for her love
There she goes waiting for the big surprise
That'll change her world
That'll change her world
That'll change her world
That'll change my world
------------------------
Everyday I sit here. I sit here and wait patiently for him to appear. Everyday I
sit in this booth, hoping and praying that today he will pass by. Everyday I'm greeted
by the familiar faces of the regulars, the waiters and waitresses as I sit patiently
in booth number five, quietly drumming my fingers along the benchtop. Infact, I'm
here so often, I'm even on first name terms with the manager for god's sake! Don't
ask me why. Don't ask me how. I can't explain... It's as though some invisible force
pulls me here, back to this spot daily, and as always, it's exactly at 4:06pm sharp.
On the dot, and make no mistakes. Yep, It's always at this time exactly everyday
that I need to be sitting here and waiting. Waiting, because somehow, I have this
crazy gut instinct telling me that by waiting something will happen. That by waiting,
I will be shown some secret door that will forever change my life. And for some
bizarre reason, I know today is the day. Today is the day that that something I
have been ever so patiently waiting for will arrive. Today is the day that I will open
mystery door number one and unlock it's secret. Today is the day he will show up.
------------------------
I know that I can't have you
I know that you will never be mine
I know that and that's why I choose you
Cause this is real life ...
------------------------
They all know her, knew of her, who wouldn't if you'd had spent two entire years gazing
out of the same booth day in day out just waiting. But of course they don't see her
anymore. No, she never returned after that day 'he' arrived. No more is the young girl
whom had once quietly hidden herself in the corner, patiently awaiting her gift, her suprise.
Her promised return for all the countless hours she had spent in that particular booth.
And yet she's back today. exactly Fifteen months, and Eighteen days since she last sat in
the booth. And she stares out the window, into the busy street as she once did. It had all
seemed too surreal at first, as though everything had been directly lifted out of the pages of
a children's fairytale book. Except then again, she wasn't exactly your idea of your damsel
in distress, but nonetheless, prince charming _had_ come strolling in one particular Autumn
day and just swept her off her feet. Just like that. And it seemed as though that was the last
that anyone from that quaint little cafe would ever hear of her. I mean, Of course there were
the occasional odd glimpses of that young girl's face passing by the shop front, full of
happiness and fulfillment which could only come as the returning gesture of one whom was
loved.
So the question stuck on our minds - Why was she back here, back to the start?
It seemed that the illusion of a fairytaled world which she had created for all of us had ceased
to exist at the exact moment she stepped through the doors today. Somehow, the magic she
had once weaved as she waited here previously had died in her absence. Her youth and
innocence was gone, only to be replaced by a more mature and grieving aura.
------------------------
See how I'm smiling
Well you should be surprised cause I
Used to get sad just by talking about him
It's not that I forgot him
Tonight he was here with me saying
He'd changed his mind he decided to stay
------------------------
I smile as I push the bobbing marshmallows down into the steaming cocoa mix. Marshmallow
influenced memories flood through my mind. I can't help but smile, It's an odd sensation
I must admit. It feels as though it's been almost a life-time since I had last felt the tugging
of my cheeks. But as I look up at the old clock on the wall, I see the date. It's already been
Eleven months and Eight days since you've been gone. I smile again at this odd thought,
you would be suprised at how I'm surviving. Yes, it has been a long time. Far too long to
still hold on. I no longer feel the urge to reminisce and relive the moments we shared,
to tell stories which therefore in turn would end up hurting me. No.. somehow it's different
today. I woke up and suddenly the pain was all gone. The memories of what I have lost had faded.
No, I could never forget him. Forget who he was, what he meant to me, the timeless moments
we shared. It's nothing along those lines. It's just that there's a feeling tugging at my heart's strings,
telling me today will be a better day, a different day. Today is the day I forget the pain and rebuild
myself. Today he wants me back. It's in the atmosphere, it's in the very air we breathe. I can
feel it.
------------------------
It's a dream
There's no need to tell me so
It's a dream
Don't you think I know
But I just never noticed
That it could be this close
From being dreaming to being alive
From having nothing to having it all
From being in love to being poor
------------------------
She enters, face full of life today. The room immediately lights up. There's something different
about her today, we can all feel it. We can see it, breathe it, feel it pulsing through our veins.
Today she's smiling again, today is different to every one of the other days since she has
returned. Today is as though she is walking back in her dreams, right where she belongs.
Today she gives us a fresh breath of life.
But who would ever know until a later day, not even herself that she would spend another large
portion of her time walking, living and breathing a dream world. Retracing her steps and waiting
all over again. Who would ever know watching her at this moment that her dreams were what
sustained her, that gave her this new lease of life. That this dream was so real, so honest in her
eyes that the thin line between reality and fantasy ceased to exist to her. Her world was immune
to all pain and heartbreak. She was once again the naive child that sat in this exact booth over
a year ago. She was so numb and desperate to believe that she lapsed back into her youth.
------------------------
I skip that lipstick
I don't care what I wear today
My thoughts are with him
When I walk out in the street
People were staring
Then I felt my face was wet
I didn't notice I'd started to cry
------------------------
I never was a very good morning person. With or without him. The awful dread of waking up
and seeing yourself at its worst isn't exactly my idea of inviting. As I reluctantly leave
the warmth and comfort of my bed, the mirror greets me with an image of my tousled hair
and sleep covered eyes. Nothing has changed, everything is still the same. Everything
except the fact that I can still feel my heart being tugged at, experiencing a sensation
that you could only ignite from me. I'm one step closer to finding you again - the birds are
singing it through the warm spring breeze.
My urgency to set off and reach my usual destination to await your arrival has allowed me
to skip my routine make-up, to ignore the careful selection of what to wear. I carelessly toss
on a shirt and a pair of jeans, knotting up my hair then running out of the house. Who cares
how I look like? There's no one to impress when my thoughts are only with you.
Lost in thought, I helplessly lapse back in time and despite my happiness at the thought of
finding you again, my mind replays the pain, the agony which I have managed to bury deep
down inside. The questions suddenly start to flood, the many "How Comes?" and the ever
so popular "What If's?". Unbeknownst to me, but ever so blatantly obvious to the rest of the
world, my unhappiness which I'd managed to hide so carefully began to show it's cracks
on my perfect porcelain face. He didn't love me... He wasn't coming back. I had been living
a dream trying to ease my own pain now that this pain had become so unbearable. I had
believed he wanted to come back to make it all better. The feelings in my heart were all a
charade to give me one final dosage of the love and happiness he could only give me, and
a final blast of immense pain which I could only feel once because I could love no other like
I had loved him. Reality was with me once again, as I felt the single solitary tear trickle
down my face.
------------------------
I'm through with traveling
I now know what I was after
I stay right here now I've found
What I searched for
I know he doesn't love me
No he doesn't care much
Don't seem to stop him from killing me slowly
------------------------
The number of her visits slowly began to dwindle as the days passed. After the day she
showed up with tear stains etched on her milky complexion, her happiness finally
became obvious to us that it was all a charade. But the question was to fool who? Now that it
was exposed to the world, surely there was no one else to fool but herself. And even that
became a wary bet.
She doesn't wait anymore. The few visits we recieve are now brief, It's as though she
suddenly became aware of the reason why she had sat there, patiently awaiting so many
times as she had done in the past. Her search for closure has finally come to an end, a sad
sight to behold - to watch the fire in a dreamer's passionate eyes die out. To see how those
who have truly ever loved close the chapters of their travels and slowly fade into a memory.
To see them slowly die into a nobody.
------------------------
A dream
There's no need to tell me so
Its a dream
Don't you think I know
------------------------
I finish my drink. I won't be back for a while. The dream is over, no one needs to tell me,
I can see it myself. I see it every morning in my eyes when I wake up. I see it in my
reflection on the passing of shop windows. Why do I come back here? It's merely all an
escape away from reality - to return to the days of wishinful thinking and dreaming. To be
someone I can never be again. It's nice to pretend, forget all the pain. It's all a dream now.
Just because he doesn't care anymore.. that doesn't stop my loss from killing me slowly.
It's only my wishful thinking I have here, I know it all too well.
------------------------
But I just never noticed
That it could be this close
From being dreaming to being alive
From having nothing to having it all
From being in love to being poor
------------------------
The bells chime softly as she leaves the building. Although it's all a charade, it's hard to
believe it when you are looking directly in her eyes, to think that she still doesn't believe.
You simply can't see the thin line between reality and dreams when you're looking into
the eyes of one who's love is so strong that they can still believe.
The soft bells chime again as I look up from cleaning her table.
"Excuse me, but.."
He's here, and looking for her.
"No, Sorry she just left. But you might still catch up with her."
angelbliss78@hotmail.com
24 August 2003