Something to help get people through the black hole… Waves to DS posters/lurkers.
Christian closed the magazine and tossed it on the coffee table. It had been sat on his lap unread for almost half an hour as his mind had wondered. He´d been thinking of Syed, again. It was a few days since he had last seen him, in that brief encounter outside the Vic. He´d been unprepared for it and had cracked a joke like he usually did when he was nervous. When he´d stepped in close to Syed, he found his heartbeat stutter in protest at the stress he frequently, and once again, put it through. He noticed Syed subtly falter and thought that maybe this was the only way to get through to him.
Keeping his distance since the wedding and feigning interest in a platonic relationship had not worked. He had only been allowed to touch Syed once - an affectionate but dispassionate hug at the unit. He couldn´t cope with the absence of contact, being the tactile man he was. His body screamed out for him, each minute apart was torture. He needed to return to what he knew was sure to work; his best weapon - the one he had used all his life and had down to a fine art; sex appeal.
He knew from Jane that today Syed would be working alone at the unit. He didn´t know how many opportunities he´d get like this one so decided to go over.
He came down the steps and into the kitchen, Syed turning around having heard him enter.
"What are you doing here?"
Christian shoved his hands deep into his back pockets awkwardly. "I... wanted to see you."
"What for?" asked Syed impatiently, turning back round to the stove.
Christian didn´t reply immediately. He looked lost for a moment and then, deciding to try something, anything(!), he exhaled and took a couple of steps towards Syed, reaching out to touch his shoulder making Syed jump. He turned around to Christian, highly irritated. "What do you think you´re doing?"
Christian wasn´t apologetic, putting his hands round the top of Syed´s arms. "This all-or-nothing situation... I´ve lost my patience with it."
Syed wrestled free of him. "That´s not where we are now. It´s just... nothing. I´m married!"
"Well I´m willing to swallow my pride if you are. I can see I´m fighting a losing battle right now asking you to put an end to that. So here I am - anyway."
"You´re insane."
"Yeah. Yeah, I am. I´m going insane not being able to see you. And I can bet I´m not the only one."
"What don´t you get about me trying to make a success of my marriage?"
"Fine - do that. Go home to Amira every night if that´s what you want. But don´t deny me, Sy. Let me have you again."
Syed let out a humourless laugh and replied in a slow, deliberate manner. "I don´t want you, Christian!"
Christian waited a few seconds for Syed to calm down and then spoke almost in a whisper. "I know what I do to you, Sy. Don´t think I don´t know you better than that."
"Well you obviously don´t know me..."
"Come on, Syed, I´m not stupid. Why pretend? It´s just you and me here. You don´t have to pretend around me."
Syed stared at the floor, his lip wobbling slightly. Christian looked at him sympathetically and then put his arms around him. Syed let himself be held for a few seconds and then tentatively wrapped his arms around Christian, clutching onto his jumper and burying his head in his warm chest. He felt Christian´s hand stroke his hair and as he breathed in this moment, a lone tear fell. He parted slightly from Christian and looked up at him, feeling calmed by his presence.
In this moment, Christian couldn´t resist him. Those big, brown eyes - that vulnerability that finally came back to call on him. He cupped Syed´s face with his hand and slowly but confidently went in for a kiss. Their lips met and, for a few seconds, Christian tasted Syed again - that sweet taste he´d not forgotten in all this time. They parted and a delicious smile flashed upon Syed´s face. Christian turned his attention to the food on the stove to divert attention away from his own beaming smile.
"That´s as good as ruined."
Syed gave it little consideration. "Don´t worry - it can still be rescued."
Christian broke eye-contact, the double meaning of those words not lost on him. "Well, I´ll leave you to do that."
"Stay... for a bit. Talk to me."
That was all the invitation Christian needed.
Christian lay in bed the next morning happily replaying the previous day in his mind. He smiled to himself - it reminded him of early teenage romance when sex was yet to play a part and instead one found excitement solely in kisses and semi-inappropriate touches. He´d had fun slipping his hands under Syed´s apron as he endeavoured to cook, his half-hearted protests delivered with a smile.
Christian was not going to push it - he was just so happy that Syed was, for now, letting himself be entertained by him. They had indulged in one more kiss before he left to start his shift at the Vic - this one more electric. Christian pinning Syed against the fridge, their bodies rubbed-up against each other - it so easily could have led to more if Christian had not had somewhere to be. He didn´t mind though for now he knew that it could happen another time. Next time.
His smile faded. How could he be so sure he´d be the next one to rub skin against skin with Syed? He could well have turned Syed on for Amira, to perform husbandly duties with her; with his wife. He shook the image out of his mind. Why ruin it for himself? He was back with Syed now. When it was just them, he was his boyfriend. He could touch him and kiss him and chat about nothing with him. Maybe three months ago that wasn´t enough but after all he´d just endured, it would more than suffice for now.
…