The Dukes of Hazzard: Hazzard in Trouble
The sequel to the bank robbin' "Bad Day in Hazzard" episode
Note: The language in this is of a southern accent, so some words are chopped into slang. Enjoy.
/ \ = Narrator's thoughts (like in the show).
Chapter 1: Welcome to Hazzard County
/Well, it was like any other day in Hazzard. The sun was out, the sky was blue, birds were in the air flying around; and there wasn't a single sound in the world to disrupt it\. A motor of a car was heard in the distance, revving up like crazy. /Well who's that putting the pedal to the metal? I know the answer…..\.
"Yeeeeehaw!" Two boys yelled as a car jumped overhead, clearing a creek. One was blonde with a yellow shirt; the other had brown hair with a dark and light blue plaid button shirt.
/Those, my friends, are the Duke boys. They fight the system.\
"You know, Luke? How about we get a couple of cold beers at the Boars Nest? I got paid to 'stay out of my office', as Boss Hogg would say." Bo Duke said.
"You got paid REAL money to get outta Boss's office? Something doesn't seem right about that. Ah, well. Not to worry. Let's go get us some cold ones at the Boars Nest." Luke Duke suggested.
"Here's your drink."
/That's Daisy. She's really something, ain't she? She's Bo and Luke's cousin. She also just happens to work at the Boars Nest.\
The cop in town gestured to Daisy, with affection.
/This here is Enos Strait, the finest law officer in Hazzard County. He's the finest because he's the only one out of the other two officers (Hazzard only has 3…..ain't that somethin'?) that's straight as a nail.\
"Roscoe…..I swear. You're about as dumb as you look. Don't you know I told you to arrest them Duke Boys? Not play a little tag with them! I don't want them dang Dukes snoopin' around when my truck arrives today at the bank! You could've lost anybody, anybody I tell you; but you had to lose the Dukes! Is this getting through to you, Roscoe?"
"Well, Boss…I wouldn't be playin' tag I'd be playin' hide n' seek if I had to play anything with those Dukes. Keet, keet!"
"Well it seems yo brains were playin' hide n' seek when you set out to catch them boys!"
/Friends, you're lookin' at Boss Jefferson Davis (J.D.) Hogg. If you get your foot stuck in a milk bucket, Boss has enough steam in his head when he's angry to lubricate your leg right out of it. He's the dirtiest, low downiest, meanest man in Hazzard County. He's been working to get to the meanest man in the state award. And right next to him is his faithful Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane. He's the reason the Deputy is the most honest law officer. Anything that has to do with Boss is more crooked than a switchback road. And when he points his pudgy little finger in your direction while giving an order, you better git' right on it\.
"Boss, should I take Enos's car? Mines in the shop and……" Roscoe blurted out in confusion.
"Oh never mind that now, Roscoe. There's an armored car that's taking a whole bundle of my precious gold items to a federal bank in Atlanta, for safe keeping. There's another armored truck taking all of my stolen……err……'confiscated' items to a lock up in Louisiana. That's right, it's making a cross country trip. Only problem is, I have to plan all this stuff out, and I'll have to be making a couple of fast car trips in and out of town. That's why I don't want no Duke sneakin' around when I'm doin' it. I mean; would you be suspicious if you saw a man that usually drives as slow as your brain speeding through town? I would. So I want you to go out there once again and catch them Dukes! Catch all of them Dukes; starting with…………..Daisy! She's the closest! Now go, Roscoe………GIT!" Boss explained angrily.