Without a doubt, this is the most canon couple of all time, forever. Just watching the movie is like watching a hot, sweaty, manly-man fish orgy. How dare Pixar market this movie to children! Shame on them.
Rated T for use of the word "orgy" in the previous paragraph.
On a seemingly ordinary day, Gill was swimming in the local dentist's tank, darkness surrounding him… He was searching… Searching always… for LOVE.
"Where is the beauty in my LIFE!" he cried, flinging his good fin up towards the surface of the water in anguish.
Just then, a beautiful clown fish dropped in from heaven. He swam franticly around the tank, searching for some safe haven!
"Oh! Where am I?" Nemo cried. "I am so lost without somewhere to rest my tired bones!"
As soon as he uttered this fateful phrase, Gill overtook him with a loving fish tackle.
"I shall keep you safe, my sweet, sugary cupcake with chocolate sprinkles on top."
"Who are you? You are so… so… Manly…"
"I am Gill, and I am quite manly. Do you see this scar, here? Right here? Yeah, that's right, touch it…"
Nemo obliges.
"Mhmmm that's nice… I got that scar in 'Nom, you know."
"'Nom 'Nom?" Nemo asked.
"Om 'Nom 'Nom." Gill replied.
"Dear Gillium, your eating sounds make me feel all a-jitter."
"Those weren't eating sound effects," Gill solemnly commented. "Those were… MEMORIES…"
A dramatic trumpet fanfare sounds throughout the fish tank.
"Memories?" Nemo harped, sounding not quite as melodic as the mysterious brass fanfare. "What sorts of memories?"
"Memories… all alone in the moonlight."
"Right, those kinds." Nemo suggestively quipped.
"Yes. Memories… of 'Nom."
A striking chord. The thick algae love nest morphed into a dim battlefield… of love.
"Jumpin Jehosaphats!" cried Nemo, apparently quite alarmed. "We seem to have been suddenly transported to this unromantic battlefield!"
As soon as Nemo uttered these fateful words, an explosion –almost as bright as Nemo's love for Gill- was viewed by the two love birds. Love fish. Whatever.
TO BE CONTINUED…