In Response to a Hug
The Hug Diaries 03
Disclaimer: Bleach and all its characters are owned by Tite Kubo.
This is the third part of "The Hug Diaries", but more like a sequel to "A Hug Returned". It would be better if you read this story first, here is the link .net/s/6388249/1/A_Hug_Returned.
If you have, then please read on and hope you like the story ^^
"I love you... please stay"
Rukia felt her eyes sting, knowing that tears were about to fall. She bit her lip and averted her gaze.
Upon seeing her expression, he felt like he is being drained of his life force. He held onto her shoulders tighter...
Without even looking at him, she began "Ichigo...I..."
Then he felt pang of pain on his forehead (yes forehead, not chest), he brought his hand to touch it.
"Ichigo..." he looked straight ahead, but was surprised to see her figure slowly disappearing – dissolving into nothingness.
"Ichigo..." repeated the distant voice. This time he gazed softly at Rukia's sorrowful eyes. He leaned a few inches back away from her, convincing his mind to accept that indeed, she will be gone.
"Ichigo..." the voice repeated for the last time, before he forcefully shut his eyes "bye Rukia..."
"Will you please come join us in this math class?" he heard.
Math class? He thought...unaware that he actually said it out loud.
"Yes. And if you make me repeat that again it will be 2 hours of detention for you" their teacher said, choosing another small object that she could throw at her delinquent student to get his attention.
"What are you talking about...Rukia?" he said truly puzzled. At this, the whole class burst into laughter, making Ichigo snap back to reality. His body involuntarily moved with shock, causing him to stand up and raise his right hand up in the air. At this the class laughed harder.
Slowly coming back to his senses, he looked around with a bewildered expression. Holy shit, he thought.
"I appreciate that you volunteered Mr. Kurosaki, but I'm afraid that I haven't asked a question yet" their teacher said still sniggering.
Ichigo's face is now beat red with embarrassment. He scratched the back of his head and uttered a faintly audible apology as he went to sit back down.
Thank the gods, the bell rang signalling the end of class. So to speak, he was spared from being humiliated even more, because his classmates immediately stood up and left the classroom but still talking about Ichigo's blunder.
Ichigo stayed quietly in his seat, trying to both process what has happened and trying to forget it at the same time. He shook his head slowly, still disbelieving that he has humiliated himself in front of the whole class.
His gaze unconsciously shifted to the chair beside him. It could just be his imagination, but it seems as if her smell still enveloped that seat. He inhaled...and was surprised that it was a manly scent that entered his nose.
He readjusted the focus of his eyes and saw that he was eye to eye with none other than...Keigo.
"Seems like you're still in the dream world Ichigo" Keigo laughed maliciously. "I knew you liked her...but to be daydreaming about her this much?" Keigo moved closer to Ichigo. "Can you share with your good friend here what particular perverted thoughts you are having about Rukia-chan?"
Tatsuki punched Keigo's mouth. Her message was clear, shut up! This caused Keigo's body to bounce a few chairs across the now deserted classroom.
Ichigo snorted upon seeing Keigo's beat up face, bowing slightly at Tatsuki to show that he appreciated the gesture. Normally, Ichigo would just pounded Keigo himself, but today he was not his...well, normal self.
"But honestly Ichigo, dreaming about Kuchiki-san right in the middle of class, I expected that you've already moved on." Ishida said shaking his head.
The gang turned their heads to stare at Ishida, questioning if that remark indeed was necessary. But they were equally surprised when Ichigo replied.
"Yeah, pretty embarrassing huh" his breathe out sadly.
To break the tense and depressing atmosphere, Inoue exclaimed joyously "let's go have lunch!"
"Yeah, let us hurry up. I need to go and buy bread. I haven't packed any lunch today" Tatsuki said, kicking Keigo who was now crawling towards them, with an unrecognizable face due to a swollen lip and cheek.
"I can share my lunch with you, if you want" Inoue offered. "I cooked rice fried in..."
"Thanks for the offer Inoue, but I want to eat bread today" Tatsuki sweat dropped and cut her off.
They all stood up to leave the classroom and returned to their normal conversations, or at least as normal as it could be. Keigo started teasing Ishida about him being in the sewing club. Apparently, the drama club asked Ishida to make the costumes for their play. Ishida agreed at once and was unable to hide his excitement in making old English themed dresses for a Shakespeare play and Keigo was able to witness this all. The group was not fuelling Keigo's taunts but found it slightly amusing, seeing how serious Ishida's demeanour was. It was truly perplexing why a stiff and strict person like Ishida will have sewing as a hobby.
"Sewing is an art!" Ishida defended. This was the last comment Ichigo heard before he turned his attention to the now vacant classroom. He stare into the empty chairs that were in a state of organized chaos.
"Things will never be the same, huh?" he whispered into the air.
"Ichigo...I..." she whispered.
Somehow, he knew what she will say, so he stopped her...
"Why don't you think about it for a while? You don't need to answer now."
"Ichigo...it will not be the same as it used to be. You know that right?" she said with much difficulty. Again, he was bringing her pain. He was the fool who chose to lose his powers in exchange for everyone's safety. At that time, he didn't think that giving it up would mean giving up the ability to see her and totally eliminating the very small chance of being with her.
That night, she came back and embraced him. She looked well and happy...but he just has to open his big mouth and practically beg her to stay. Again, selfishly hurting her in the process...
"I know. But..." His breath was caught in his throat. He stopped, thinking – and knowing – that the next words to come out of his mouth would all be selfishness.
He clenched a handful of his sheets and gripped tight onto it as if it letting go of it would mean letting go of her.
"Ichigo, hurry up" Mizuiro called.
"Yes...coming" he said and continued to walk forward carrying his feet that feels as if it was made of lead.
He has moved on. Or so he thought. He didn't expect that one glimpse of her would cause the crumbling of his defences. With great effort, he lifted his feet to climb the stairs towards the rooftop. When he reached the top step, his friends were already seated on their respective space on the floor. He was still standing by the doorway and he stopped at the sight of his friends. The breeze was gently blowing on their hair, the sunlight illuminating their cheerful faces and highlighting their exuberant smiles. This caused his lips to curl up as well. He walked on and settled himself on his usual spot.
He brought out his lunch and laid it in front of him.
"Why are you staring at your food Ichigo? Don't you like the lunch Yuzu made for you?" Keigo asked.
"Shut up! Yuzu always makes good lunches" Ichigo responded in his usual manner.
"Ooh, it looks like a bunny rabbit!" Inoue exclaimed staring at the rice, vegetables and meat that were neatly arranged to look like a rabbit.
"No it does not!" Ichigo said angrily and began eating it like a person deprived of a week's meal. He was eating too fast that he choked.
He slammed the lunch box to the ground and leaned on his hands that were both on the floor. He coughed hard in an attempt to remove the food that was stuck in his throat.
Chad, who was currently sitting beside him, gently patted his back but when it didn't work he hit Ichigo's back with such force causing his face to hit the ground hard. Luckily, he was able to cough out the food. And luckily, or unluckily, his lunch box was open in front of him cushioning the fall.
There was a long pause, observing Ichigo whose face was still a few inches from his messed up lunch. His eyes were shadowed making his expression look grim, but funny because bits of rice and vegetables were sticking to his face. Ichigo then burst into laughter and not long after, they started to laugh as well.
When they stopped, some were clutching their stomach which hurt due to the excessive laughter, while the others' eyes tear up.
Tatsuki wiped her eyes and said "I never laughed that hard for the longest time".
Still chortling, Inoue handled Ichigo her handkerchief "you may borrow this", she said.
Ichigo took it and wiped his face clean.
"Sorry" Chad said while snorting.
"It's okay, just don't do it again. I believe I've been embarrassed more than enough for a day" he said.
This caused another row of laughter.
He tightened his grip on the handful of sheets and he laughed a hollow laugh.
"I'm really pleading for you to stay. How selfish of me huh..." he whispered more to himself than to her.
"I'm the selfish one, really" she said in response. She hesitated before continuing, "because I pains me to see that you have already moved on. While I still held on..."
"No I..." Ichigo started, but stopped when Rukia placed her forefinger on his lips.
"I did say that I can still see you, but the truth is..." she clasp onto her chest and put on a bitter smile "I didn't realize that it was more painful that I can see you and you don't even know I am there" she bit down the impeding sob from escaping here lips.
"I know I should have not come here and make you go through this difficulty again, but I..." her small frame shook and finally, she was unable to hold back her tears. "...was selfish and..."
She sobbed, right in front of him. She brought her hands to cover her face as tears drowned her lavender eyes and drowned any word that she needed to say. She was about to turn around in attempt to hide her already exposed weak facade, but Ichigo grabbed both her shoulders once more. He knelt in front of her and pulled her to an embrace.
He blamed himself. He blamed fate for having the inexistent choice to be a hero. He blamed his own cowardice and not expressing his love for her when he still had the chance. He blamed destiny for them to live in two different worlds, giving them the opportunity to be together only to be taken away again. He blamed everything and everyone...but he never ever blamed her and he never will.
He brought his face towards her ear and whispered, "you know what's more painful than being separated from you...its seeing you in this state...its seeing you cry. So please stop. If I am causing you more sorrow and if I am making it more difficult for you by asking you to stay, then..." tears also welled up in Ichigo's amber eyes and his voice broke into a sob "...I'd willingly let you go." He pulled her closer and embraced her as tight as he could.
It was Inoue that noticed Ichigo's blank expression, so she stopped laughing.
"What's wrong Kurosaki-kun?" at this, everyone also stopped and turned their attention onto their friend.
"Nothing. I just...recalled Rukia" it took all the bravery he had in him to bring up this topic.
"Is this about your day dream this morning?" Mizuiro asked.
"Is it perverted?" Keigo questioned earnestly.
This time, Tatsuki and Ishida slapped the back of Keigo's head together.
Ichigo looked at Keigo slightly amused, "No, it's not perverted" He then shifted his gaze to the floor and said, "she visited me last night."
"Are you sure it was not a dream?" Ishida inquired, still disbelieving that she would just appear in front of him after all this time.
Ichigo thought hard. Indeed it seemed like a dream. "I asked her to stay with me" he continued without further thought.
"And..." Tatsuki trailed.
"She told me to wait..." Ichigo looked up with a hopeful expression.
Most of friends were speechless. It was only Keigo that spoke, "you're lying"
And then...the bell rang...indicating that lunch break has ended. His friends felt that he doesn't want to say anything more on the topic, so they stood up. He gestured for them to go ahead and said that he will be staying there for a while. Nobody questioned him further.
He leaned back, resting on the cold metal railing.
"Was it all just a dream?" he said to no one in particular.
Rukia stopped sobbing. It was so unlike her to be this down and to be this weak. Somehow, she had to take control of her emotions and to get a hold of herself.
So she slightly pushed him away, grabbed the hem of his shirt and wiped her eyes dry. Ichigo didn't know whether to be amused or irritated at her action.
"Quite the drama queen I am right?" she said.
"Not really" Ichigo said, wiping away his own tears.
She smiled at him and started to stand up. He jolted right up "where are you going?"
"This conversation seems to be over" she replied blankly. She knew he will still not let her go despite... "A while ago, you just said that you'd willingly let me go"
Ichigo was taken aback. He did say that but...
"I'm sorry that I came back making things hard for both of us, but you know this will never work..." she said.
Unsure of what to do, he grabbed her desperately and placed his lips on hers. And without a second thought, she responded. Their lips crashed into a fierce kiss that lasted for god knows how long.
Lack of breath and swollen lips was what made them pull away from each other. Heat was still radiating from them and both where still gasping for breath when Ichigo, eyes full of determination, recklessly asked for another time "...stay Rukia...please stay"
She swallowed hard. That passionate kiss really did made, not only her knees, but her resolve weak. "I can't..."
He felt his heart stopped beating and he held his breath.
"...at least not now" she continued. "Will you wait for me?"
He exhaled loudly. They held each other's gaze, wishing that the love they felt would come across without the need for words. What she just uttered and the sweet way she stared at him now was better than the hug and kiss they just shared.
He then slowly nodded his head.
"Then it's a promise" she muttered before leaving.
He watched her depart through his window, not knowing how long he has to wait. But he promised her that he will and she promised him that she will come back.
Ichigo smiled openly. Since that morning, he had been anxious if Rukia will keep her promise. He was sad that they parted. He was happy that he got the chance to hold her, and kiss her, after months of waiting. But the more dominant feeling inside of him now was hope.
He then stood up, looked onto the horizon and enjoyed the feel of the cold wind against his skin... when suddenly, something hit him square on the face...interrupting his peaceful and sentimental moment.
"What the hell!" he exclaimed removing the piece of paper and crumpling it. Then a familiar drawing and handwriting caught his eye.
He opened the paper once more and grinned ear to ear at its contents. It was a poorly drawn picture of a white rabbit hugging a red strawberry. The words "I miss you...you big idiot" were written below it.
He folded the paper neatly and placed it inside his pocket. He looked up into the cloudy sky and shouted with all his might "I miss you too!"
Author's note: Thanks for reading this story. Hope you liked it.
Please feel free to post a comment.