Harry swore loudly as he checked his profile for the third time that day.

"What the heck does a person have to do to get REVIEWS in this place?"

"It'll be okay, Harry," Ron said, peering over his friend's shoulder at the computer screen. "Just leave your story up there for a little while longer..."

"It's been there for 3 months!" Harry threw up his hands in agony. The frustration never seemed to end. "3 months! I've gotten 3 reviews, and two of them were the SAME POST!" Harry loathed the double posters to no end. He remembered how happy he was that day when he realized that he had not only gotten a review that day, but TWO reviews! His heart had sunk when he read them.

Koolerthankool551 2002-05-12 Anonymous

really neat.write more plz

Koolerthankool551 2002-05-12 Anonymous

really neat.write more plz

Really neat.... Well thank god somebody thought his story was NEAT. Neat enough to review using the worst grammar Harry'd ever seen in his life.

"I read your story, Harry," Ron said, trying to cheer him up. "I thought it was great."

"Yeah, but that's because you already know what's going to happen, eventually. I've posted the first half of what came to be our exciting and breathtaking 5th year, filled with..."

Ron rolled his eyes. "Stop talking like your stupid summary, idiot. I swear, this thing is going to drive you loony."

'Maybe Ron's right,' Harry thought.

"No," he said out loud. "I've GOT to keep changing my summary! There must be SOMETHING wrong with it if nobody's reading it!"

"What's going on?" Hermione asked, entering the room.

"Harry's going insane right before our very eyes," Ron said.

"I am not," Harry grumbled, trying to think of a new, catchy summary.

Hermione walked to the computer. "What's this?"

"I need reviews to my story!" Harry whined. "I've tried everything! I've changed my title, I've changed my summary, I've changed the rating, I've updated it a hundred times, I've written other pointless stories so somebody might even ACCIDENTLY stumble upon my real story..."

"Let me see this," Hermione said, taking the mouse and scanning the entire site very quickly.

"Well, it's obvious what you have to do in order to get reviews," Hermione said.

Obvious!?

"What!?" Harry yelled, on the edge of his seat, prepared to do anything for precious feedback.

"All you have to do is make a summary with the words Sex, Rape, Torture, Abuse, Kidnap, Slash..."

"Wait!" Harry said, repulsed that Hermione would say things like that. "My story has none of those things!"

"Well, then it seems your story is doomed right from the start." Hermione walked away, and Ron followed her.

"But it's what REALLY HAPPENED!" He yelled after them. The door just shut softly behind them.

Harry just stared at the computer, alone with his thoughts.

There must be a better way... surely the readers at were interested in his own, original story without the crude lies... surely he could beat that one author who got 300 reviews in only a matter of weeks for some overdone plotline....

He sighed, and began to type the choice keywords into the summary.

'I guess I'll try this one last change...' Harry thought. 'Maybe at least I'll get some flames...' and with a sigh, Harry clicked the "Save Changes" button under the summary.

"'Changes take 24 hours to take effect!!!???'" Harry threw his mouse across the room.

"WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET SOME FREAKING REVIEWS AROUND HERE!?"

How phrustrating.