People die, we're all too familiar with that fact. People die. The walkers, they're ruthless and they never seem to go away for long. To make matters worse, whenever we think we're finally safe, we're finally able to settle and start to rebuild, some crazy fuck decides to show up and mess that all up.

"Lillianna, you need to run, now," I barked at my four year old daughter while I tried to duck behind a truck long enough to load my pistol. While Carl had fought hard to buy enough time for everyone to make it to the sewage drain unseen, myself, Daryl, and Lillianna were among the last to finally make a break for it. I had told Daryl to go ahead, make sure there was a clear path for us to use, leaving me and Lillianna to try and keep as close behind as possible.

"Momma, Carl's hurt!" She panted as she ran back to me, sweat pouring down her face. "He's hurt and the 'aviors are closin' in on 'im," she went on.
"Run ahead and find Daryl. Do not, under any circumstance come back to me. Tell Daryl to take you to the tunnel. I've got Carl," I ordered her. I handed her the loaded pistol. "Do you remember how to turn the safety off?"
"Yes momma," she nodded. Never in a million years did I think I would be handing my preschooler a loaded pistol. Then again, never in a million years did I expect to face the end of the world with my daughter at my side.
"Always and forever, Lilly," I said, kissing her head before shoving her ahead of me. "Run."
"Till the 'ead don't rise,' she said with a nod. She took off running as fast as her little legs would carry her, our German shepherd, Mayhem, close beside her. I knew the dog would lead her to Daryl no problem. He had trained her afterall.

I took off in the direction she had pointed to, locating Carl with ease. He was hunched over, panting heavily, his face drawn, his hands trembling.
"Carl, c'mon, up," I said quickly, pulling him to his feet.
"I'm bit," he blurted out, eyes wild with fright.
"Then let's make sure your dad has a chance to say goodbye," I said knowingly. He nodded weakly, using me as a crutch as we hobbled as quickly as we could in the direction Lilly had run off in.

"Where's Judith? Daryl? Lilly? Where…did they…?" Carl asked, his eyes flickering with a wild gleam.
"Tara took Judith to the tunnel with the first lot to go down," I said, "They made it there safely. Judith is fine," I continued, trying hard to keep him upright as we slowed our pace. "I sent Daryl ahead to make sure there was a clear path, we were the last group to head towards the tunnel. Lilly and Mayhem are probably with him now. They're safe. Everyone is safe Carl."

We listened while shouts and grenades started to go off closer to the building we were ducked behind.
"Carl, you're going to need to run," I said softly, taking the rifle he was carrying from him. "Tell Daryl to take care of Lilly for me, that if I don't make it there by the time the attack ends, to assume I'm dead."
"Kay, you can't do that, they need you. Lilly, Daryl, my dad, Jesus, Maggie, they all need you," Carl said, his eyes wide. "Don't sacrifice yourself."
"Oh, honey, I'm not making any sacrifices tonight," I said with a smile and a gentle pat on his shoulder. "I just gotta make sure you make it down there alive. I'm gonna hold them off so you can get a head start."
"Why?" He asked as I pulled him to his feet.
"Life debt," I shrugged, remembering something Daryl's brother Merle had said to me after the Governor attacked the prison. "Besides, I promised your dad you'd be okay. I already broke that promise. At least this way he can say goodbye."
"Be safe," Carl nodded, taking off as fast as his weakening body would allow. I counted to ten before taking off, going in the same general direction, but with less cover. Houses exploded in every direction. I heard someone shouting orders while others were trying to find our people.

I thought I was going to be able to get past them, using the flames as coverage. I thought I had enough distance between me and the building, but I didn't. A house to my right exploded, shards of glass raining down around me. I felt hot metal strike my back, causing me to drop before I had a chance to brace myself. Pain rippled through my body as stray pieces of glass dug into my skin.

"Not today, Negan," I muttered as I dragged myself behind a rock, freeing some of the glass from my leg. My right leg had taken the worse of it. Glass was sticking out in several spots, blood pouring down it in a crimson river. "Not today," I growled as I pulled the glass free. I took off my belt and tied it just above the worst wound, praying I could still run. I pulled myself up, aware that my vision was blurry, my head pounding like nothing I felt before. I was sure I had a concussion. I had hit the ground at full speed, head first. But adrenalin was coursed through my veins, buying me a little extra time.

Every step left a trail of blood behind, so it took me twice as long to reach the tunnel. I had to keep covering the bloody trail with leaves or dirt of whatever else my left foot could drag over it. There were moments where I fell heavily to the ground, unsure of if any of it was real anymore. I was losing so much blood, so much energy. I wasn't even sure if I was going in the right direction anymore.

By the time my body was at the end of what it could take, I was fairly certain I had reached the tunnel. My vision was completely dark at that point, but somehow I reached it with enough strength to half lower myself, half tumble down the rusted ladder. I hit the ground with a thud.

"What happened?" I heard Tara's concerned voice exclaim as soon as she saw it was me.
"Did Carl make it down?" I asked, avoiding her question. I leaned against the wall, picking more glass from my arms and leg.
"Yeah, so did Mayhem," she said cautiously.
"Where's Lilly?" I asked, looking around the dimly lit tunnel. "Lilly was right behind Daryl…"
"She wasn't with you?" Daryl asked, coming over to us, Judith locked in his arms.
"I told her to follow you," I said, my heart racing. "Mayhem was with her," I added. Mayhem whined from her spot next to Carl. Her fur was matted with blood and soot. "No…No!"

I pushed myself to my feet, my right leg burning with every movement. My head throbbed.
"Daryl, please tell me my daughter found you."
"Kay…" Daryl looked at the ground. "I thought she was with you…Mayhem found me, but she was alone…"

My legs gave out. The tunnel spun around me, concerned voices tried to reason with me, come up with a plan. Dwight looked sick, watching it all unfold. He knew this was partially his fault. He knew I would kill him. I refused to accept that my daughter was dead or worse. I refused. She was fast. She was smart. She was small. She had to be hiding somewhere.

I vaguely heard someone point out that my head was bleeding. Someone else started tending to my leg. I was vaguely aware of Rick and Michonne making it down the ladder a few feet away. Daryl quickly filled them in before nodding towards Carl.

"Kay, we'll find her," Daryl promised me, but I knew he was only saying it to try and calm me down. They knew as well as I did that we were trapped, at least for the moment.

For the next several hours, Daryl, Tara, Rosita and the man Carl had brought back took turns waking me up and tending my wounds. We couldn't move until the Saviors left. Daryl was going to pull a car around and insisted that I would make it to the Hilltop one way or another. I didn't believe him. We wouldn't be able to take a car – Negan would have his men on the roads. I would either have to walk or die trying. I knew that. They knew that.

Rick and Michonne made up their minds to stay with Carl until he passed. It was the only option. There was no other way.

This was the world we lived in now. People die all the time. The people you fight so hard to protect? They die well before their time. You can't keep anyone safe when it's you against the world. The walkers? They were the least of our worries when people like Negan were still alive. Negan…this was his fault. All he had to do was be normal, be civil, yet he decided he thought it was his place to play government. Here we thought the Governor was bad. At least he didn't try to reason with his ways. He didn't say he was saving people while he took everything from them.

I hated the world we lived in. I was okay with dying. I had made peace with the thought a long time ago. But now…with Lilly missing…Now I had to fight just a little longer. I refused to die not knowing. If Negan had her I would kill every last Savior to bring her home. If he didn't…if she was dead, I had to find her. I had to find her and put her down and give her a proper burial. I had to. I needed that closure.

"Damnit."