You had known the Winchesters for a long time, you might even say too long. You had practically grown up together. You were basically Bobby's daughter and John would regularly ditch the brothers to go off and hunt. You were the youngest, just nearly a year younger than Sam.
You and the brothers shared countless memories together when they came to stay, often during the school year so that they could have a less choppy education.
You often remembered Dean staying home most days, much to the disappoint of Bobby. He had raised you to gain knowledge with every opportunity, and you shared this trait with Sam. This was shown in the stacks of books found all over the house.
Looking back you realized your naivety despite your intelligence. So here you are, going down the rabbit hole.
-May 1997-
Dean-18
Sam-14
You-13
The car rolled up outside the house. It was like an alarm, triggering the childlike glee only held in youths. The clattering of dishes echoing from the kitchen warned you of Bobby's distraught. No matter how much he loved the boys, he hated the way John acted as a father. You were young, innocent, you still don't know what provoked Bobby into the stiff disposition he held whenever they stopped by. You were always glad to have playmates, no matter the circumstance, but Bobby got rather cold when they stopped by.
Maybe it was the bruises on Dean's arm, maybe it was the way Sam clung to Dean's arm when they walked inside, the desperation to hug Bobby. These were all things you recognized in later years when you were all older. The boys explained it as the side effects of getting into hunting so young, being antsy and hurt, but you thought different.
This time was like many times before. They would scurry from the car, laden with all their things, while the car sped away.
It had been a long time since you last saw them. Dean had gotten taller in the two years since you last saw them, Sam as well. They looked more worn, despite their youth. You were just as chipper as ever though, filled with joy and affection. You lit up every room you entered and you and the boys got on like a house on fire.
This year was different. Dean was older, didn't want to have to share a room with Sam, and instead got his own, forcing you and Sam to share. But it's not like you minded, you were content staying up until past midnight exchanging books and stories with Sam. For a while there you almost wished for the Winchesters to arrive so that you could see him. But as the time past on, and the years slipped past you almost forgot.
That night for dinner it was the classic 'whatever you can find in the freezer' plus whatever pie was left at the diner in town. You sat two to a side, across from bobby and next to Sam. The conversation was kept light, it was the first day after such a long time. Bobby praised Dean's growth spurt while Dean fended him off by shoving more and more food into his mouth.
The night dragged on, with the four of you watching a cheesy action flix on the small boxy tv. Later transitioning into Dean and Bobby drinking in the kitchen while you and Sammy wandered the scrapyard.
He shoved his hands into the bulky pockets in his oversized sweatshirt. The night was chilly despite it being mid may and you were regretting not grabbing a jacket.
You always felt a peace with Sam. Maybe it was the large gap between you and Dean, him being five years older and all. Maybe it was that in your younger years you were basically raised together. John had seemed to believe that Bobby could care for a toddler better and often just took Dean along. Maybe that was why Bobby was pissed, he never got to be a father and yet here he was, taking care of all these children.
"So, what's new." Sam asked out of the blue.
"Nothing much." You wandered, gazing solemnly up at the star-filled sky. In reality, everything had happened. You had cut your hair, you bought new clothes, you became interested in astronomy. All small things, but in the long run, things that pushed you forward.
'"It's been a while, something must different." Sam was as stubborn as ever. He would never let up until you went over it day by day. So you deflected more.
"Like I said, nothing much. What about you, you're different."
"In what way?"
"Well, you're taller." You pulled your gaze from the sky and settled it on his eyes.
"That's it?"
"Yes." You murmured in return.
A silence stretched on and you found yourself wandering in a world created in your mind. A world where the supernatural did not exist, a world were you and Sam were just friends, not people who were so close yet so far apart. You were only thirteen and yet you wanted the world, and Sam would do anything to give it to you.
One thing you noticed in the moment and looking back was that Dean never went to school, and if he did it was because he was forced. He would spend those days hanging out at the crappy middle school you and Sam went to. He would drop in to make sure we were getting on fine.
You had hated Dean growing up. He was older and tended to rub it in your face. But he grew out of it as the years passed. When you entered high school he called to make sure you were fine, same as he did with Sam. He was the big brother you never knew you wanted.
As the years drifted on and you got older you became closer. He became less of a father figure and more of a friend. As long as you ignored his flirting you got along just fine.
In the spring of 1997, he was as cocky as ever. He spent his time helping Bobby fix up an old car or teasing you and Sam.
As you and Dean drifted in and out of focus you and Sam drew closer and closer together.
You showed him your favourite places. The quiet corner of the junkyard, or a particular row of books in the library. You swapped secrets along with homework. You walked to and from school together, and you were inseparable by the late of June.
But then the car pulled up again, the engine making the sweet sound you grew to love, now filling you with sadness. You knew it would not last forever, and yet you hoped it would. The summer must start, and that's when they'd go.