Momo has never felt like this before. This pain was so tremendous she would cry if she didn't think that would only add to the ache. Those who say they love the thrill of battle are crazy. She could never imagine anyone who would find such enjoyment out of hurting a person like this. Or could she? Straining her eyes, she looked up at the sky, despite the immense spiritual pressure and wave of attacks that followed the clouds did not move. The sky looked undisturbed by the war that was taking place. The sky of this fake town seemed to fit her perfectly. It did not matter that she was there, she was but a witness to this battle, and she would be nothing more. She was no fool, she knew she didn't have the strength to fight against the enemy that had even the other captains worried, but she hoped to make some kind of contribution. She wanted to help the others, to prove that she deserved the title of vice-captain. But there was more to it than that. She wanted to show that she was more than just the pitiful girl their enemy left behind.
Even if the others didn't say it out loud, she knew what they were all thinking. It didn't matter how hard she worked to keep her division running or how much she tried to act like she used too. They were all thinking the same thing. "There goes Aizen's shadow." Because that's all, she was. She had blindly followed after him just like a shadow. She hadn't thought twice about anything he said to her and why would she? She had believed he a good man. There was still a part of her that hoped that somewhere, deep down, he wasn't just doing this because his heart was full of hate. He had a reason for starting this war. He just had too!
Wincing in pain and with self-hate she forced her eyes shut, the tears that she didn't want to come had appeared. She hated this. All she could do was cry and watch as the others fought bravely. She could feel it, the cold sensation that always followed whenever Hitsugaya was in battle. He was fighting with all his might to defeat her former captain. Despite everything that was happening she could still feel it, the cold that seeped out with every attack of his and engulfed her aching body. It felt so nice. Without even knowing it he was helping her. How she badly wished she could help him.
But she couldn't do anything but watch.
This time she did not stop the tears that fell. She has been such a terrible friend to him. She knew of his past, of the loneliness he once experienced because others didn't bother to try to get to know him. When she had first arrived in this world, she had been warned to stay away from the white-haired boy, how he had this aura of ice, but she never got that feeling. The moment she first saw him his eyes had been distant and cold, and she had started to cry the second she looked into them. Not because she was frightened but because she recognized what that look meant. She had hugged him that day, loudly proclaiming that she would be his friend and that he would never be lonely again. He hadn't returned the hug, at least not right away. No doubt waiting to see if she was playing a cruel joke on him. But then she smiled at him, it was all she could offer him, and that had been more than enough. He had returned her hug, his tiny arms doing their best to wrap around her body as his small frame shook. That was the only time she has ever seen him cry. She had sworn that day that she wouldn't allow him to feel alone ever again. Every day they were together she did her best to make sure he was having fun. If the other kids had said something about him she would yell at them and walk away with Hitsugaya, she didn't want him to experience such pain. She had become a Shinigami so that she could better protect him. It was obvious their village didn't care what happened to him and even in their peaceful home Hollows still roamed deep in the woods. She wanted to become someone strong enough to protect the boy.
But deep in her heart, she knew that wasn't the only reason. As a child, she had heard the tales of the brave warriors that protected their world, and she wanted to experience that. She wanted to become someone more than just the little girl she was.
Maybe she should have just stayed home and kept those silly fantasies to herself.
That was when all of this started. It was because she became a Shinigami and met Aizen that her world had changed. She was so enticed by him that she hadn't given following after him a second thought. She didn't go home as often and when she did nearly all of her stories were about the man. She hadn't thought about the impact it might be having on her old friend. She thought his bratty attitude was just because her stories were bothering him. But now she was wondering if there was more to it.
Looking up at the sky she could see his white hair that flew about as he fought. Even from down on the ground, she could sense his hatred. Aizen had broken them, and she had allowed it. She hadn't acknowledged it before because she hadn't even realized it until very recently, but their relationship had changed. They still spoke often, but her attention had always gravitated towards her captain. He had done what she never thought possible. He had driven a wedge between the two. Was that part of the reason why she had let herself doubt her childhood friend like that or was she really such a mindless puppet she just believed what he had written? She didn't know, and she was scared to find the answer.
She had hurt her best friend and words couldn't even begin to describe what she felt. She hated herself for what she had done. Unohana had tried to talk with her, to get her to open up and try to fix some of the darkness that was still inside her. But she didn't. She didn't want to because talking about it meant that she would need to admit that her fears were real. Aizen had betrayed them. Even after she had been able to reunite with him, she still hurt him. Like a broken puppy, she begged him to bring home her master. The captain commander quickly knocked her unconscious, but even in her unconscious state, her mind had already burned the image of him looking appalled and in pain into her head. She had hurt him again.
After that, she had woken up in her quarters and noticed that she was being followed. They didn't trust her. Aizen had warped her mind into thinking that she couldn't go on in this life without him. That nothing would ever be the same without him. She had started to believe that he was right.
It was a week later that she learned Hitsugaya and his team had returned to their world. The war was coming up; she had heard the details when she was waiting to speak with her old friend. It would be coming this winter, and that didn't give them a lot of time to prepare. Everyone had been working hard to get ready, to power up as much as they could to take on Aizen's forces. But in all that time never once had he visited her. Every day she would be in her division, doing work to keep it running smoothly. She was doing all the mundane duties she had done before all this started. It was all they allowed her to do. She knew she was still being watched; everywhere she went she could feel their presences lurking in the shadows. They were waiting, waiting to see her mess up, waiting to see when she would start praising Aizen, waiting to see when she would betray them too. No one said it out loud, but she knew that's what they all were thinking. And she hated it.
She hated how they saw her because they were right. There was still a part of her that believed Aizen as good. That he had to be doing this for a reason. No one was naturally born evil. Something must have happened for him to become this way. But no matter how hard she tried she could never come up with an answer. For weeks she would lie in bed at night and wondered if the man she had stood alongside with for all those years was ever real. She hated doing it, but she would replay over and over in her head the day he stabbed her. She would think of the pain the blade had not only inflicted but the realization of what that meant. He had stabbed her, tried to kill her because he was evil. This had become her mantra; she would chant this every day in her head before finally, she collapsed. Unohana had said she was fatigued, but she knew better, her body was starting to fail her. She knew it was because of that man. Aizen was the cause. But was it because he had hurt her or because she really couldn't live her life without him?
That night she had stayed in the Fourth Division. Unohana had said it was for observation, but there was much more to it than that. Tobiume had been taken away from her, and she could feel the Kido spells that had been placed in the room. They were waiting to see if she would take her own life. The thought should have made her cry, but she felt to empty to feel much of anything. It was then that she heard it. The soft cry of her Zanpakuto and she had entered the world of her spirit. Normally whenever she entered the world it filled with light and warmth but now it was tainted by darkness. Shadows were slowly consuming the light; snuffing it out and making it grow into a deadly cold that shook her to her very core. It was there that she saw it; the once bright flames her spirit had been able to produce were dying out. The darkness was encasing her body, fighting against the fire that the spirit produced. Not even the burning ash could be seen. Tobiume was dying and it all because of her. She was slowly killing her Zanpakuto. She had begged and cried to her spirit, wishing with all her might that she would return to normal. She didn't want to lose her. Despite the tremendous pain she had to be experiencing as she was slowly fading away Tobiume had still comforted her. She was dying but the plum spirit's concern was for her master.
Momo had woken up from the world of darkness, and at last, she felt her heart start to beat with life again. She had cried for the rest of the night, swearing that she would change. Unohana had come in first thing in the morning, and Momo was ready for her. She explained what was happening with her Zanpakuto and that she did not want to cause others harm anymore. The gentler healer had smiled, and from there, their sessions began. She talked with the woman about her feelings, her thoughts, and the one thing that had been on her mind for a very long time. It was only the two of them speaking, Unohana had been able to shoo away the shadows that had been following her. Momo knew that whatever she said might get reported `back but she was done hiding away. She would tell her story. So she told the woman all about that fateful day, giving her every detail about the littlest thing before finally coming to the part of thr story that made her cry and question everything. When Aizen had stabbed her he looked disappointed.
It was a look that haunted her, made her question everything she knew. With the help of Kido she was able to show Unohana her memories and the while the older woman said nothing her expression said everything. There was no hatred in Aizen's eyes when he stabbed her, only disappointment and something else. Something that the older woman wouldn't tell her and she could not decipher herself. She was left in the dark once more.
But this time there was a light at the end of the tunnel. While Unohana would not talk about Aizen, she did talk about Hitsugaya. "It's no wonder you have such a strong connection with your Zanpakuto. It reminds me so much of Hitsugaya-Taichou." Those words left a mark on her heart. It had opened a new floodgate of emotions that she never expected to feel. Despite everything she claimed, becoming a Shinigami to protect him, wanting him never to feel lonely, to never experience pain, he was doing the same. Unohana was careful to avoid mentioning the man who had betrayed them, but she told her all about the Tenth Division leader and how hard he was working to win the war for her. He wanted her to be free of Aizen so that she could be happy. "He cares dearly for you, but I fear this path he is on is a rocky on. It could lead him on a path towards hatred."
What she learned that day shook her to her very core. Hitsugaya was doing all of this for her. He was fighting against her former captain for her. He cared about her to the point he was letting his heart become consumed with hatred. She wouldn't allow that to happen. She had caused enough harm to him; she wouldn't allow him to walk the path of hatred and be consumed by the same darkness she almost let herself fall into. After that, she trained hard in Kido. She knew trying to gain strength in such a short span was pointless so instead; she focused on honing her skills in demon magic. She would create spells and use attacks that no one else has ever thought of before. She would help her friend in battle, even if only a little, so that he would not fall into the darkness.
"But in the end, I failed." She had broken another promise. She had sworn that this time it would be different. She would be useful to her friends and fight alongside with them, even if all she did was assist them with kido and heal their wounds. She wanted to do something. But instead, she was the one being cared for. Everyone else was fighting their very best, and she was lying on the ground as a spectator.
In the back of her mind, she could hear Tobiume calling to her. Telling her not to give up. The words her Zanpakuto said were sweet, but following through on them was not easy. Right now all she wanted to do was go to sleep and let this war end. She hated fighting. To her, the point of carrying a sword was to protect others, not hurt them. But war didn't care. Whatever side you're on someone loses. Gritting her teeth, her eyes followed as captains and the strange group that had shown up as they fought against the man she had once admired so much. He wasn't even batting an eye as he took on all their attacks, taunting them as they tried their best to fight them.
Everyone was doing their best, and she was just lying there. She bit down on her lower lip, her body screaming in agony as she fought with all her strength to get up. She was out of breath by the time she sat up, her body shaking as she struggled to remain upright. Everyone was doing their best, and she was going to do hers. Crawling on her hands and knees, whimpering as the gravel imbedded itself into the wounds on her hands she moved to Rangiku. With a deep breath, she slowly started to heal the older woman, hoping to help return some of her strength to her. "If this is all I can do," she concentrated on the green goal her hands emitted as she healed the remainder of the wound the woman had. "Then I'll do what I can." What she lacks in strength she will make up for in will. Looking behind her she saw Izuru and Ira staring up in awe at the battle.
"Man, they're really on a whole other playing field when you compare them to us," Ira commented, beads of sweat running down the side of his face.
Kira nodded, gulping down the fear he felt. "They are, and that worries me," he looked in front of him, his head tilted down. "I'm worried this much spiritual pressure with cause harm to Rangiku and Hinamori-kun."
"Please don't worry about me," Momo reassured them, flashing them a small smile to try and ease their worries. "This doesn't bother me." It was a lie. The pressure everyone was letting out was suffocating, but she wasn't going to let it stop her.
"I think they're alright. I mean look at Hinamori. She hasn't moved in a while, so I think it's safe to say she's out for the count and doesn't even realize what's going on." Ira said.
Her heart gave a painful squeeze. "But I am awake!" she yelled, stopping in her healing to turn around and fully look at her comrades. But they didn't even acknowledge her; instead, they were looking down in front of them. Her eyes followed their line of sight, and she gasped. Lying there was her, her body as still as a corpse. "What…?!" she felt sick to her stomach. What was this? How could she be there when she was over here? "What's going on?"
"They're seeing what they want to see."
Time stilled at this voice. She didn't think it was possible for her heart to race and stop at the same time, but this was the reaction he caused. It felt like the weight of the world was pushing her down but she fought against it all to look up at him. "Aizen…taichou…." She whispered, sounding out every syllable as she stared up at the man.
"Hello, Hinamori-kun." He had a serene expression on his face, much like the one he used to wear all the time when he was still a captain of the Gotei 13.
She couldn't believe it. He was there, right in front of her. He looked so different with his hair slicked back and glasses off. She hadn't seen his new look, and no one told her anything about him since he betrayed them. But even with a new look, he was still the same man that haunted her dreams.
"I see Unohana has not lost her touch," he calmly walked over to her, squatting down to her level so that their eyes met. "But you're will to live is surprising." His voice lingered with words unspoken, but she couldn't even begin to try and understand them. Slowly he reached out to her, his arms wrapping around her shoulders and going under her knees. He was scooping her up in his arms and slowly started to float them up towards the sky. Momo knew it was wrong, if anyone saw them, they would assume the worst but she couldn't stop herself from leaning into his touch. His warmth, she missed it so much. His hands that held her were firm, giving her an inkling of the power he wielded. He even smelled the same way he used to back in the Soul Society. How she longed to have things the way they used to be. For all of this to be one bad dream and have the happiness she used to know return.
But that would never happen. As she looked up at his face, the calm look he wore never left as he guided them up towards the sky. She had always thought he was an angel sent from heaven. The angelic look he portrayed was so enchanting and made her feel so safe. But now she knew there was more to that look. "You've changed." He stopped them directing underneath where the battle was happening. A gust of wind hit her, and she had to close her eyes at the pressure, but when she opened them, she was shocked to see everyone was attacking each other.
"Why…?" she didn't understand what was happening. Why were they attacking each other?
"It is as I said before, they are seeing what they want to see. They believe they are attacking me because deep in their hearts what they desire the most is my death." He said this without batting an eye. As if the knowledge that his former commanders wishing for his death didn't bother him in the slightest.
She felt disgusted. At the thought that this was truly who he was or at seeing everyone attack one another, she wasn't sure.
He turned his head to look down at her face that rested on his shoulder. "I never imagined you had such a strong will to live. It really is astounding to see." Once more the words he spoke had more to them then he was saying, and this time she listened. Listened to what he was really saying. He was surprised that she managed to go on in life without him there.
She wanted to tell him everything. To lash out and cry all the negative emotions that he had left inside her when he left. How she almost didn't survive because there was a time when she didn't want to. How he really had nearly succeeded to destroying her. She wanted to tell him that she was stronger than he or anyone else believed she was. But she couldn't do any of that. Instead, all she could do was lie there in his arms and watch as her childhood friend sent attack after attack at their friends, his angry cries echoing out in the open sky. Her brown eyes followed him everywhere he went. They were so close now that she could feel the hatred that was mixed in with his reiastu. It broke her heart.
"So you're eyes have at last turned to Hitsugaya," Aizen spoke, a hint of amusement in his voice. "I wonder what he would do if he knew you were finally looking at him."
He was mocking her. She knew this much. Despite what she felt this man was not the man she had once devoted her life too. That man, if he ever existed, was gone. The one that held her now was not the Aizen she knew. "All things broken can be fixed." This had become her new mantra. She knew she was broken, but with time she knew that she could be fixed.
He looked at her, his eyes staring directly into hers. The look he wore was haunting. His brown orbs were void of any sensation, but she wasn't going to let herself be fooled. She grew up with Hitsugaya, who was known for masking his emotions. She knew how to look past that glamor that most people would turn away from. But she still saw them. They were no more than a glimmer, but she saw the emotions that flashed behind his eyes. Hidden away from her and the world to see. "I would very much like to see you prove this statement." The corners of his lips twitched up, and suddenly they were gone. He had flash stepped them from their spot, and slowly he put her down, giving her time to gather her energy so that she could stand on her own. He stood in front of her, patting her head like he always used to do in the past. Tears gathered in her eyes as nostalgia made her heart burn. "I wish you the best of luck, Hinamori-kun."
With that he was gone, leaving her all alone once more as she fought back the urge to cry out for him. He had reappeared before her, and she wasn't able to express everything she wanted. She couldn't tell him what she felt about his betrayal or ask him about the look he had given her. Even now his behavior towards her seemed so odd.
But she didn't have time to be sad. The hairs on the back of her neck stood, and she cried out when she saw an attack coming at her. Her body was sore, and she had no energy to attack, she was moving solely on the instinct to avoid being hit. "What's going on?" she gasped when she saw Hitsugaya come charging at her. "Hitsugaya-kun!" she screamed, just barely being able to dodge his ice attack. Soon it wasn't only him, but a number of captains and allies were all attacking her. Their eyes were full of hatred as they used all their strength to try and take her down. "Why are you doing this?" she cried, tears flowing freely down her face as she moved out of the way of yet another attack. A man with long blonde hair aimed a gold coil at her, and a woman with glasses aimed a giant spear at her. The attacks were coming from both directions, and she didn't have the energy to dodge them. All she could do was cover her head with her hands and pray that it didn't hurt too much.
But as she stood there, whimpering and shaking the pain never came. Slowly she peeked out and was shocked to see the attacks at hit each other, but they weren't acknowledging this. They were focusing on her, but they kept attacking each other.
"They're seeing what they want to see."
Aizen's words rang throughout her head as she continued to dodge more attacks. Her friends were witnessing an illusion, and she was stuck in the middle. They saw her as Aizen, and so they were attacking her. He was making them see her as the enemy. Oh, the irony of it all. For months the Soul Society had been watching her, waiting to see if she would betray them as well and become a new person they would need to fight. She had sworn that she would never allow that to happen. She loved her life in Soul Society, and she would never betray them. But Aizen had made this all happen in a matter of minutes.
"Please stop this!" her pleas fell on deaf ears. The attacks continued, her doing her best to dodge them and when she couldn't, they would end up attacking each other. She wrapped her arms around herself, a mute attempt to try and comfort herself as she experienced this hell. She was forced to witness them all harm one another. None of them seemed even to acknowledge the pain of being hit with the other's attack. They just continued to strike, and no matter how hard she cried out they never heard her.
Was this his plan all along? To make them fight against one another until in the end, they destroyed each other? Her hands flew to cover her mouth, a horrified cry escaping her as she saw one by one their allies strike each other down. Blood gushing from the wounds they inflicted on each other. They were slowly killing each other. She begged them to stop, praying with all her might for this to end. But it never did. They continued to fight around her, causing one another harm and all she could do was watch. Her heart was slowly shattering into little pieces.
Finally, she fell to her knees. She no longer had the power to move. Besides she knew that she was just wasting energy as she moved around trying to dodge the attacks. Even if she had been at full strength, there would be no way for her to be able to outmaneuver so many captains. Aizen wanted her to be right there in the middle to witness this. But for what reason? He had said that he wanted her to prove her statement before to be true. About things that were broken could still be fixed. Had this been what he meant? Was this some game for him? To watch as she slowly breaks down from seeing this hellish nightmare and wait to see if she would be able to heal from it? She didn't know, and she didn't want to think any further about it. The tears she was producing were blinding, but she desperately searched for some kind of escape. Looking off to the side she saw an orange-haired man watching them. He seemed very alarmed at what he was staring at. She whimpered, her body trembling as she waited for him to start attacking her as well. But he never did. He stayed where he was, his sword clenched tightly in his hands and he looked like he was going to be sick. His eyes were focused on Momo, but they held no hatred like all the others. Their gaze met and she felt her heart skip. He could see her!
Relief overflowed in her. He wasn't under Aizen's spell. He could protect them. Raising back up on her feet with newfound strength and open she smiled at him. She knew this man. His name was Ichigo, the one they all spoke about who would be the hero of this war. "Please," she reached out to him, rushing over to ask for his help. "Save them before-!"
She heard the sound of sword piercing flesh before she even felt it. Her mind seemed to shut down at the latest turn of events. The pain that she was no doubt experiencing couldn't even be registered because of her shock. Looking down she saw the familiar blade of her childhood friend, the blade shining as the sun hit the blood-soaked tip. She could hear the screams of Tobiume inside her mind. With a shaking hand, she reached up to touch the blade. It was as cold as its wielder.
Hitsugaya had attacked her. He had stabbed her with his sword. He believed she was Aizen and his blade full of hatred was meant to be a killing strike. Slowly she turned around to look at him, eyes wide with disbelief and pain as her nerves finally recognized the sword that had gone through her chest. It felt like millions of needles were attacking her nerves, making them revolt at the agony she was experiencing. She coughed up blood, a small trail flowing down her chin. His sword had impaled her in the same spot Aizen had once stabbed her. "I understand now," she knew what he wanted. Before had only been a game but this was the real test. This time it would not just be her that needed fixing. It would be all of them.
Her body didn't have the energy to stand so she fell against his chest, the sword going deeper into her and making her yelp in pain. She hated all of this. Why did things have to turn out this way? When they were young kids, the only cruelty they experienced was the mean children that would call them names. But now the world they lived in seemed so harsh. It had turned them against each other. Her mind, the cruel thing that it was flashed her back to the night when she had raised her sword against him. The person she had sworn to drive out the loneliness because she never wanted him to cry or be lonely ever again. And now this world was making them play out the same scene again, only this time he had raised a sword against her. The open wound in her chest gushed out, staining her clothes and his as well. She could slowly start to feel all her strength leave her body; the cries of Tobiume were growing faint as darkness began to appear at the corner of her eyes. It was trying to take her back to that cold, lonely world. She just hoped she could escape it again.
"Guys, what the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Ichigo's cries were the magic spell that freed them from Aizen's control. They finally saw the truth, no matter how disturbing it was.
She heard the gasps they all let out when they saw her, even as her eyes blurred from the pain and blood loss she saw the horrified expressions they all wore. But even as she was on the verge of passing out, she could hear him clear as day. "Hinamori!" he sounded so broken. His breath was hot, hitting the back of her neck but it did nothing to warm her icy body. The hand that held the sword that was impaled through her chest was shaking, making the edge of the blade cut deeper. She winced at the feeling of it and instantly his body went rigid, he recognized he was causing her even more pain. She heard the harsh breath he sucked in, the torment he was experiencing was different than hers, but both were hurting beyond belief.
She was vaguely aware of someone screaming, but she didn't recognize the voice. Another one was speaking and his voice, while smooth and clear, did not register within her mind. She knew them, but she could not think of who they were. Her focus was on Hitsugaya. Try as he might his hands still shook as he removed the blade from her chest, she didn't have it in her to cry out from the pain as the blade left. The blood now gushed freely out of her body with the sword gone and she didn't have it in her to stay upright. She fell forward, but he caught her. Slowly the ice broke around them as he flew them down to a nearby rooftop, cradling her in his arms the whole way down. His body was so warm and comforting, so much like the hold, Aizen had her in before, but this one was different. His hands were firm but gentle; he was trying his best to help her get comfortable. The feeling she got from this hold was so warm and welcoming, almost as if he had perfected this hold just for her. It made her think of home. Her head rested against his chest, the rhythm of his beating heart was clear to her. His heart was being honest as it pumped inside him. It was frantic, making her ears ring out at the noise. She could feel the pain he was feeling. Why did this have to happen? Why did the world have to be so cruel and do this to them? Once upon a time, they had been happy children, and now they were grown, and the world seemed to punish them for some reason. Why couldn't they just go back to how things used to be? Why did they have to fight each other? Why couldn't they be happy?
She saw the blood on his face. Her blood. Her vision was hazy, but she could make out the horrified expression on his face. His breathing was ragged. His eyes were wide with disbelief and fear. He looked so lost, so broken. So much like how she felt these last few months.
"Shiro…chan…why?" why did the world want to hurt them?
She did not know, and she didn't have the strength to go on. All of her energy was gone, and she felt herself fall into the darkness once more. But before she let it consume her entirely, she heard it. His cries of pain and anguish that filled the open sky of this fake town. His cries of hatred.
The world of darkness was nothing new to her. She was a resident of this place before. She knew what it could do to you. The emptiness that surrounded you. The way it can make your mind break from the sheer lonesomeness that you are forced to experience day in and day out. You can lose yourself in here far too easily. With darkness consuming you everywhere you begin to forget the sense of up, down, left, and right. You know nothing of the outside world because it refuses to let you return. Or is it more accurate to say you refuse to give up residency? While lonely you know without a doubt no one can hurt you here. In this world of emptiness, there is no betrayal, no pain, no fighting. There is only you.
But Momo refused to stay in this place. She had almost let the darkness consume her before, and she wasn't going to give it a second chance of retaking her. This time she was aware of Tobiume was there with her. This time she was in the darkness with her eyes wide open, and she was seeing her Zanpakuto spirit light up the darkness with her flame. The fire the burned so brightly with many different colors coming from its flames. The outside world may be moving, but so long as she had Tobiume, she knows that she is never alone.
It did not take her as long to wake up like last time. Though she was not conscious for very long and the pain that was waiting for her was immense she was glad to be awake. Glossy brown eyes looked into the soft orbs of Unohana. "…shiro…" her voice was weak, and it hurt to speak, but she needed to know. Was her childhood friend alright? What had happened after she passed out?
Unohana hushed quietly, placing her hand on Momo's forehead. "Hitsugaya-Taichou is just fine." She smiled softly, like a mother tending to her sick child.
The darkness was coming for her, fighting to bring her back, and she went back with relief in her heart. Her Shiro was fine.
Over the next few days, she would awaken from her slumber for brief periods of time. Every time Unohana would be there to speak with her and answer whatever question she could mumble out before she passed out again. She learned that she had initially been residing inside the twelfth division for organ regeneration. It hadn't been very long since she was moved to the fourth to spend the rest of her recovery period. Every day she was healing thanks to the consistent efforts of Unohana, but as she slowly regained her senses, she began to notice something. No one had come to visit her.
In the beginning, only Unohana had been allowed in the room. Machines had been hooked up all over her, monitoring her heart, helping her breath, and injecting nutrients her body needed. But now she was free of the machines and was ordered to remain on bed rest for the next few days. She was free of the darkness, but her heart still ached with loneliness. The only faces she saw were those of the Fourth Division members assigned to care for her. She had tried starting conversations with them, but they were always brief and left her feeling depressed. While the Fourth Division was caring, they were not her friends. She had only asked once if anyone had come to visit her when she was unconscious and the look of pity she received burned. She never asked again. Most days she would spend it reading, but her body ached to do more. Unohana had brought her some yarn, so she began to knit herself some things, anything to help make the time pass by and take her mind off the fact that she was all alone again. She was awake, but she was alone.
Unohana had informed her just the other day that she was recovering nicely and she could return to her duties so long as she didn't push herself. That is if they allowed her. They had returned once more. The shadows had come back to watch her, to determine if she was their alley or not. She may not be at full strength, but she can still sense reiastu no matter how hard a person tries to hide it. But that factor alone made her heart ache. She could detect the shadows watching her but not once has she ever felt the reiastu of her friends. None of them had even stepped foot inside the division to see her.
The door opening caught her attention, but the person who stepped into her hospital room surprised her. Inside of Unohana, she was looking at a man with jaw-length blonde hair with a straight cut. He wore a mustard colored-dress shirt with a brown tie and matching brown pants. His eyes were a light shade of brown that were fixated on her. "Yo," he greeted, his hand shoved into his pocket as he looked around the room.
His curt greeting caught her off guard. "Hello," she bowed from her spot on the bed, showing her respect and response to him. She recognized who he was although that did not mean she knew him. She had seen him during the war fighting alongside everyone. But what business did he have here with her?
Walking effortlessly into the room he sat down on a stool in front of her bed and stared at her. "You look like you're recovering well."
She meekly nodded. "Yes, Unohana-Taichou and everyone in the Fourth Division is taking excellent care of me." She offered him a pleasant smile.
He raised an eyebrow at her, absentmindedly nodding his head. Slowly he started to look around the room, his one leg starting bopping up and down. "Well, I'm glad to hear it." He returned her smile with one of his own, but his was much more forced. He looked annoyed at something.
"Are you alright?" she did not understand why he was here when clearly he seemed very displeased. Had this been some pity visit? Perhaps Unohana had informed everyone how no one visited her and he had been the one forced to keep her company.
He let out a low sigh, a frown forming on his face that showed up the upper layer of his teeth. "No, actually I'm not." Taking a deep breath, he stood up from his chair. "Just how the hell long are you planning on watching us?! I'm a freaking Captain of the Gotei 13! I can handle one little girl. Now get the hell away before I tell Central 46 you guys are the reason why both the Captain and Vice-Captain of the Fifth Division are taking a year-long vacation!"
Momo jumped at his sudden outburst, her hands gripping the blanket that covered her from the shock of him suddenly screaming like that. She had not been expecting that. Trying to regain her composure she once more looked at the man who seemed to be mindlessly yelling at the ceiling, but she knew better. He was speaking to those who had been assigned to watch her. It hadn't surprised her that Central 46 was the one who ordered for her to be monitored. After all, it was her former captain who murdered the original group. They'd be stupid not be cautious of her.
Soon one by one those who had been hiding in the shadows and watching her disappeared. "Jeez, about frickin' time." He said, sitting back on the stool but this time in a much more relaxed fashion. His legs were open wide as his arms rested on them, as he sat hunched over in the chair. "Man, how the hell did you deal with those guys always watching you?"
"I'm used to it." There was no point in denying the truth. Everyone probably knew that she was being watched. Waiting to see if she still supported Aizen or not.
He didn't say anything at first, merely staring at her with a blank expression on his face. "Wow, that's really depressing." He blew at his bangs that had fallen into his eyes. "The names Hirako Shinji. I'm the new and former captain of the Fifth Division."
New and former? What did that even mean? "It's very nice to meet you; I'm Hinamori Momo."
"I know who you are. I've been pestering Unohana for days to let me know when I could finally speak with you," he cupped his two hands together, staring at the floor for a brief moment before looking back up at her. "I wanted to apologize for what happened out there. I swore I wasn't gonna let Aizen manipulate us anymore but instead he played us again, and you ended up getting hurt because of it." He bowed his head, showing the shame he felt for allowing the man to continue to cause harm to others.
"Please don't worry about it," she quickly shook her head, offering him a kind-reassuring smile. "It couldn't be avoided. Aizen-Taichou's powers-!" she stopped in her tracks, eyes widening with fear and dread as she spoke his name. Calling him her captain still came so effortlessly to her, but she knew it was wrong. Slowly, she looked down, gripping tightly to the blank to hold back the tremors her body wanted to release. "Please forgive me." Her voice was hollow, void of any emotion because that is precisely what she was trying to do. She needed to push Aizen out of her heart and not feeling anything towards him. It was because of her feelings that she's in this mess to begin with.
She heard the scraping of the stool when he stood up and the soft footsteps he took. "He's probably going to report me to Unohana-Taichou." She had no doubts that soon the shadows would return to watch her but this time double in their surveillance. But it surprised her when she saw the outline of his shoes were near her. Slowly she looked up and saw that he was standing over her. Confused by what he was doing she opened her mouth to speak, but all that came out was a cry of pain when his forehead slammed into hers. She cried out, clenching her now aching head as fell back onto the pillow. "What was that for?" she whimpered, slowly moving back up into a sitting position with tears gathering in the corner of her eyes.
"For acting like that," he sighed, his hand placed on top of her head. "You don't gotta look so scared. I'm not gonna go report you just cause you called him your captain." Shinji told her, a gentle look in his eyes as he stared down at the young girl. He had been informed of who she was and what had transpired from the time she had joined the Fifth Division. She had suffered from Aizen's hands more than any of them. The man had brainwashed and manipulated her beyond belief. The fact that she seemed to have a personality at all surprised him, but it also relieved him. They would have some work to do, but he didn't mind putting in a little effort. "I know exactly what kind of man Aizen is and his abilities. He did use to be my Lieutenant before the bastard turned against me," he grumbled, thinking back to that fateful day that changed not only his but his friend's lives as well. He, better than anyone else, knew exactly what the man was capable of. Walking back over he plopped back down on the stool. "Listen, to cut a long story short I want you to come back and be my lieutenant."
Shock coursed through her veins as she stared in wonder at the man. Was he serious? He wanted her to be his vice-captain despite everything that happened involving her and Aizen? "You do?" she gulped, her voice shaking.
"Well yeah," he grinned at her. "I looked over your records, and I've never once seen a Vice-Captain who could manage a division so well. It would be a shame to lose you." He wasn't lying, but he also wasn't telling her the whole truth. At first, he had been a little apprehensive about making the girl become his second-in-command, but after talking it over with Unohana and a few other members of the Gotei 13, he knew he would be a fool to let her go. Besides, it was only because of her that the division even now is still in working order. She had been out of commission for months, but the paperwork was all up-to-date, the barracks were running smoothly because of a plan she created should such an event happen, and everyone in the division seemed to respect and miss her. There was another rather big factor that helped in keeping their division running so smoothly. A certain young captain had taken on all of their duties while she had been in the hospital. Aizen may have left a huge impact on her, but she left an even bigger impact on everyone else. "Besides, aren't you bored just sitting in here? Wouldn't you rather be outside and be with everyone again?"
She looked away. She knew that he probably wasn't aware that no one had come to see her. He was just trying to be nice and cheer her up. "While I would like that, I don't really think me being outside will make much of a difference."
"Is it cause no one has come to visit you?" his blunt response nearly made her topple over. "I heard all about it from Unohana, and I'm surprised. I thought for sure that little guy would come see you." He mumbled out the last part mostly to himself, but she still heard him.
She knew whom he meant, and she was sad to say that even her expectations were wrong. Hitsugaya had not come to visit her once. "I would like to apologize for wasting your time, but I feel someone like me is no longer suitable of being a Vice-Captain." she hated it, but she was crying again. This seemed to be the only thing that she could do. She had no real power to fight, but she never seemed to be out of strength to cry. "I'm too useless. I can't do anything but cry, and I cause nothing but trouble for the people around me," it was the hard truth, but she had to accept it. Since this whole incident started, she had done nothing but cause everyone trouble. "Everyone is forgetting about me, and that is for the best."
"Wow, you're pretty stupid." She sat straight up, completely flabbergasted by his crude wording. "No one is forgetting about you. They're all outside working really hard so that you can continue to rest up in here without any worries." He offered her a gentle smile, trying to show that his words were indeed the truth. "I don't know if the little guy would want me to say this, but Hitsugaya-Taichou has been handling a good amount of the Fifth Division's work. Before the old man had appointed as captain again that little brat has been handling all of the work by himself, making sure that when you return to your position, you wouldn't have to worry so much. He's part of the reason why I wanted you as my Lieutenant again." he would not go into full detail about the encounter he had with the young captain. He also wouldn't mention how he had been threatened by the white-haired boy not to make the young girl cry. The day after he had been reinstated he had received a visit from Hitsugaya, asking about the position of lieutenant and if he would allow Hinamori to keep her title. When he admitted that he was still deciding on what to do he had received a very long and very thought out speech about why the girl deserved to keep her title and all the fantastic things she has done for the Soul Society and their division. That little speech of his ran on for quite some time and only stopped when Shinji made a single comment.
"Wow, you're totally in love with her, aren't you?"
His comment had been meant as a joke, something to try and throw the young captain off in hopes that he would leave him alone. Man, had he been wrong. His entire office had completely frozen over, and the young captain's sword had impaled the wall behind him, right next to his head. The swing of the blade echoed loudly in the now quiet office, and his reflection flickered in the sharp steel. He had never been so afraid of a child before. "You will never speak a word of this to Hinamori, understood?" his eyes were cold and menacing, almost daring him to see what he would do if he ever found out that he told Hinamori about this.
He was really tempted to tell the girl all of it, but he didn't feel like becoming the first icicle captain, so he kept his mouth shut and gave her the abridged version. Besides, he figured he would have much more time in the future to provide her little hints about the boy's feelings for her. Though how she didn't realize his obvious affection for her was beyond him.
Amazingly the tears stopped when he told her that. Her reason for crying, the fear of being forgotten, was all erased when he told her of Hitsugaya and all that he was doing. He was working hard for her. Just like always he was doing his very best for her. She couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face as she thought of her childhood friend and what he means to her.
Shinji saw the change in her demeanor, how happy she seemed to become after he had mentioned the young man. Maybe the idea of young romance wasn't so far away. "Hinamori," he stood up from his chair, grinning proudly at her as he raised his thumb and placed it directly over his heart. "Let's work together to make the Fifth Division the best squad the Soul Society has ever seen." He left her with that. She needed her rest, and he had some work to do, but he promised to return in a few days for her answer.
Time seemed to speed up after his visit. She felt rejuvenated after speaking with the blonde and learning of his desires. He wanted her to be his Vice-Captain because he had faith in her and her abilities. She was not just some pawn to be used in his plans, and the invitation wasn't out of pity. He wanted her because she was Hinamori Momo and that was all. "I'll show you what I said it true, Aizen-Taichou." He had asked her to prove that all things broken can be fixed and she was going to keep her promise.
After he had left her, it felt like she had been charged with energy. It was a feeling she hasn't experienced in a while, and it made her bounce in her seat. Reaching into the basket of yarn Unohana had brought her she started to knit a very special item. In the back of her mind, she conversed with Tobiume, discussing what they would do once they were back in the outside world and with this very special article of clothing. She knew making it might seem foolish but she wanted to convey her feelings, and this was the only way she knew how. Her feelings were still new, and she didn't understand them, but she knew they were there and she wanted to show them off in some kind of way.
The day of her release had finally come. She was allowed to leave the Fourth Division and return to her duties with a promise that she wouldn't overexert herself. She was still recovering, so she would be assigned to only paperwork and not allowed to fight should a Hollow appear. She agreed to these terms and left; her head held high the whole way. Outside she was greeted with the sight of Shinji, wearing his haori as he held out to her the lieutenant's badge of the Fifth Division. "You ready to get to work?"
She held no hesitation as she took it and placed the badge on her arm. "Yes!"
Together the two walked towards their division.
Blowing on her hands to generate warmth she shivered slightly against the cold. The night sky had long settled in, but she was enjoying being able to watch the stars. When she was still recovering, she could only look outside through the large window of her hospital room. But now she was free to stare up at the open sky without anything to block her view. She swore she would never take the beautiful scenery of the world for granted ever again. After only being able to look at off-white colored walls for weeks on end the outside world that was full of different colors and shapes was a much-welcomed sight. Stifling a yawn, she readjusted herself; her butt was slowly starting to go numb because she had been sitting on this rock for much longer than she should have. Jumping off the bolder with ease she stretched out her sore muscles and resisted the urge to look inside the darkened cave. Every few seconds gust of painstaking cold wind would blow out, ice particles mixing in with the breeze that was sure to send other running. More than once she had caught the wind, and it made a shiver run down her spine. She always knew his ice was cold, but it seemed to get even colder if that made any sense.
She had heard from Rangiku that Hitsugaya was training here. The busty blonde had been very happy to see her and insisted on the two of them getting dinner together that night, but Momo promised to do it another night. She wanted to see her old friend before any more time passed. When she was told about his training, she knew exactly what to do. She packed up a basket filled with his favorite foods and waited outside the entrance of the cave for him to finish. She had arrived just as the sun was setting and nostalgia hit her. There had been so many sunsets that she used to watch with the young boy, and there had been so many more that they missed. As she sat there, watching the sun set all by herself, she wondered if he felt this lonely when she had left him to train at the academy. When she had been a student, she never had time to watch the sunset as much as she did before. And Hitsugaya hadn't joined the school until she was a fifth year and even after his admission there wasn't much time for them to watch it. So for five years and even more, he watched the sunset all by himself. The thought made her heart ache.
But that was why she was there. She was going to make good on the promise she made all those years ago. When she first met him, she had sworn to herself that he would never feel lonely ever again, but in her ignorance, she had broken the promise. Now she was making it again, but this time she refused to break it. This war had changed them, changed her. She was still naïve about certain matters, Shinji had no problems telling her this, but she wasn't blinded by rose-colored anymore. She knew the world was filled with darkness just as much as it was filled with light. Things could change in an instant, making the peace they fought for disappear easily, and she didn't to go through life with any regrets.
So she waited for him outside the cave. Her back pressed up against the rough bolder that had small bit of frost starting to form. They haven't spoken or seen each other since the war. Doing a quick check, she made sure her robes were tightly closed so that he didn't see the scar on her chest. She doubted he would want to be reminded of it so quickly. Although him seeing her like this might just do so. Doubt slowly began to enter her heart, but encouraging words from Tobiume helped chase them away. She could still hear his broken cries from the war. How he looked when he realized he had stabbed her. No doubt he had some kind of self-hatred for himself and even if she told him she felt no ill feelings towards him he would still be angry with himself. It was just the kind of guy he is. But instead of moping around he was doing something about it. He was training hard and trying to move on. He was getting stronger for her sake. "Shiro-chan is becoming a fine man." She smiled fondly at the thought.
Times were changing, and so were they. They were finally growing up from the kids they used to be. She brushed a piece of hair behind her ear, the soft locks now only reached to her chin, being held back by an old hair clip Hitsugaya had given her back when they first became Shinigami. Growing up they had been aware of when their birthdays were but neither wanted to make a big deal about it. Money was scarce, so they didn't want to spend it on frivolous things when they were more focused on buying food. It was only when they both became Shinigami and could afford to spend money on other things did they start buying the other presents. This had been his first gift to her, and she was going to use it as her foundation to change. She still had the same goal in mind, become the kind of Shinigami that only fought to protect and not needlessly kill. But this time she wasn't going to lose herself. This hairclip would remind her of who she used to be and help shape her to become a proper woman.
She noticed that the winds hadn't blown by in a while and she could no longer detect the strong spiritual pressure he was releasing. Pushing herself off the wall, she dusted herself of any dirt and took in a deep breath. She hoped she wasn't making the wrong choice by ambushing him like this, but she wanted to see him again. Her heart began to pound as she heard his soft footsteps. She was masking her reiastu, worried about what his reaction might be if he sensed her before he saw her. With his abilities as a captain, he could easily flash step past her before she could even blink. So she kept herself concealed and did her best to smile and not show just how nervous she was. Tobiume was mentally scolding her for making such a weird face, but she couldn't help it. She found it hard to calm down. She was finally going to see him again after all this time, and she wasn't sure what his reaction might be. For all, she knew he could be overjoyed that she was walking around healthy and happy or he could say that he wasn't ready to see her yet. She would respect his wishes if that was what he wanted, but first she needed to say what she needed to say. She was sure he had to know that she placed no blame on him but even if he did know she was going to say that she was going to say it anyway. Thinking it and experiencing it are two entirely different things.
Her heart skipped a beat when she finally saw him. His clothes were tattered and dirty from being inside the cave for so long. A few icicles were slowly melting from the ends of his cloak. He had scratches all over his body, and his eyes had dark bags under them. He was overworking himself as usual. When he walked it was steady but slow; his body no doubt exhausted from the training he had put himself through. His breathing had been slightly ragged, but when he caught sight of her he seemed to freeze up. He looked on in disbelief at the sight of her being there while she tried not to cry. She had sworn that she was going to greet him with a smile; just like how she had done the first time she had met him. But that wasn't going to happen now. Instead of a bright, cheerful smile, she was giving him a delighted smile masked with tears that she couldn't stop because she was just so happy! There he was, standing before her, looking as he always did. He was there, alive and well. She had heard how severely he was injured, but Unohana reassured her that there would be no lasting issues, only a scar from the attack. The words the woman spoke had comforted her but seeing it for herself made her heart wash away with relief. Unable to stop herself she ran at him, arms flinging themselves around his muscular frame, her chin resting on his shoulder as she pressed her cheek against his. "I'm so glad!" she cried, laughing softly as she felt his warmth, inhaled his scent and could feel the rhythm of his heart. "I'm so glad you're alright." If anything had happened to him, she wasn't sure if she could go on. Hitsugaya meant so much to her, more than she ever realized, and if he was no longer part of her life, she wasn't sure if she could find the strength to continue living.
Time seemed to stand still as she held him, soft hiccups escaping her as she expressed her joy at seeing him. He was alive and in her arms. The war had left scars on both of them, but they had survived and could move on together. His arms slowly wrapped around her frame, this time they reached around her body. One arm gripping at her waist as the other reached across her back and clenched the fabric at the base of her shoulder, pressing her closer to him. His body was shaking, head bent down and buried in the crook of her neck to muffle out the soft cries that escaped. She placed her head against his; running one hand through his white locks and said nothing as he cried in her arms. This was the second time she has experienced him like this, and she hoped it would be the last. She thought back to the first time she met him and how bright the future seemed. She had thought that so much could be done with just a little bit of kindness, but now she knew better. "I'll protect our future." She would continue to forge the path to their future with kindness, but she would embark on the journey with her eyes wide open. She wouldn't allow herself to be blinded and steered off the path she had chosen. They would have their future together, one forged by love and not by hatred.
Neither of them knew how much time had passed as they stood there, crying in the others arms, but they didn't dare move. After so much time spent apart, they were finally reunited. She cast a sideways glance at the basket she had brought with her. Inside it held the food she had prepared just for him and a scarf she had knitted. The fabric she had chosen matched his eyes perfectly. She knew it wouldn't do much, his element was ice, and the cold never bothered him. But the scarf was more than just a means to keep him warm. It was a symbol of her and her feelings. Something he could have with him at all times to prove that she was always with him. She didn't care if it got ripped, burned, or ruined. She would make him as many scarves as he wanted but the meaning would always be the same. Their world could change in an instant, but no matter what happened she would always be with him.