Pairings:
Hints of SoraxRiku/ Horizon Shipping (Name created by Wonny-kins :3)
Uh…yeah, if you've seen my profile and near the bottom is this KH Quiz, you would see some interesting things that I think of the game. This was kind of based off of that. Just so you know, my friend, Kenya and I appear as OCCs and are "all-knowing" sort of. I PROMISE to NOT make the seem like Mary-Sues.
There's a part where I only have statements, but I will be sure to have indicators of who says what.
Also. I was most likely high off of soda when making most of this up. I don't entirely write plotless crack. i like it, but I'd never be able to pull it off, so this has...some type of plot. I'm just not sure what.
Also, this is in Kairi's point of view.
Summary:
When the question of who Sora would choose as a partner pops up, everyone fights only to be shocked by what Sora really chooses.
Warnings: OCs, slight OCCish characters, CRACK, and harsh language, mentions of mpreg, as well as a little character bashing. (It's rated M for a reason)
/Roxas/Namine talking to Sora/Kairi mentally./
/Sora/Kairi talking to Roxas/Namine mentally./
Roxas and Namine are still talking to Sora/Kairi when there are only italics, but only Sora and Kairi can hear them unless Roxas or Namine wants himself/herself to be known.
Enjoy my fail of a crack story! ^^
Kenya, Riku, Jazzybelle, and I all sat on the small islet that was connected to the bigger island by a wooden bridge. Riku and I were talking about the latest letter from King Mickey while Kenya and Jazzybelle were drawing and comparing pictures.
As usual, this lead to fighting.
"No! Animals are WAY harder to draw!"
"AS IF! People have FINGERS. FINGERS."
"AND YOUR POINT IS?.!"
I could only shake her head at the two friends. How they actually got along when the subject wasn't about drawing was a mystery to me and my friends.
Jazzybelle usually drew animals, canines to be specific. Her skills with humans were horrible as far as I could tell. Kenya was the opposite with being able to draw humans but being stuck on what to do next with animals.
We didn't really know them too well; in fact they just happened to move to Destiny Islands around two months ago.
When asked where they came from, they would both get a strange, wise look in their eye and say from a very far away place. Were they from another world as well?
I stared at them, yes; they could definitely be looked at as other world inhabitants.
They both had dark skin, albeit Kenya was lighter in color, and dark brown hair and eyes. No one else in DestinyIslands had such a combination of physical features.
They tended to hang around Sora a lot, and Sora being the cheerful, optimistic guy he was, easily became friends with them. It was amazing really, since Kenya and Jazzybelle were almost opposites to Sora and themselves.
Kenya was a really laid-back person, but was very finicky. She did occasionally have those times when she got angry, but it was quickly forgotten after some time has been given to cool down. She was easy to get along with, so Riku, Tidus, Selphie, Wakka, and I easily became friends with her.
Jazzybelle was, no IS, a firecracker. That's the only way I or anyone else could really describe her. One moment, she's happy, another she's sad, and then she's sleeping with her eyes open. It was hard to know what to expect from her. Only Kenya and Sora knew, and that was because they were the only people that Jazzybelle allowed to become friends with her.
In fact, the only reason Jazzybelle even came was because Kenya was coming and Jazzybelle didn't want to be "left alone with the broom".
Riku had clamped a hand over my mouth before I could ask what she meant, saying it wasn't worth losing our sanity over. I have to say that I agree with him.
"Okay, what are you guys fighting over now?" Riku's voice brought me out of my thoughts. As expected, Jazzybelle ignored Riku's question and instead took off her white and purple sandals and jumped into the water.
Kenya sighed as she gathered up her friend's drawing tools, "We were just fighting over whether animals or people were harder to draw. Nothing big, we always fight over that."
"KENYA! PURPLE, PINK POLKA-DOTTED SNAKES ARE BITING JAZZYBELLE'S TOES!" The fake despair in the swimming girl's voice rang through air. Had I forgotten to mention that the girl refers to herself in third person? It's very annoying, especially in times like these.
"Jazzybelle, there are no snakes in these parts!" Riku countered. There was silence for a while and we all took a step back. It proved to be a smart thing to do, considering Jazzybelle had climbed up the ladder with the scowl that is always present when talking to anyone but Sora and Kenya.
"WHO WAS TALKING TO YOU, FATHEAD! JAZZYBELLE WAS TALLKING TO KENYA! NOT RIKU! KENYA! THEY SOUND NOTHING ALIKE!" When she had finished ranting, she instantly broke down, "Jazzybelle sorry! Jazzybelle didn't mean any offense! She just wanted to get Kenya to play with her again!"
Once again, she proves to have some sort of multiple personality disorder.
Kenya sighs again and sits next to the sobbing firecracker, "I'm not mad, I just wish you would act like you have common sense…"
Jazzybelle stopped her crying almost immediately and looked at her friend like she had grown three heads.
"Common sense? Jazzybelle knows no such word. Stop making up words, Kenya. They only confuse Jazzybelle," Of course the girl has no such words as "common sense" in her vocabulary. Of FREAKIN' course.
/Kairi, you don't need to get so mad. Jazzybelle…is er…"special" in her own way…/
/"Special" fits her so perfectly it's not funny./ I grumbled back to my Nobody who responded with a exasperated sigh. Namine was always telling me to try and get along with Jazzybelle.
It was hard to when the girl literally bit at me when I asked her if we could go check out the new café a couple weeks ago. I'm not too keen on letting that happen again.
"Hey, guys! What's all the yelling about?" Sora asked, staring at everyone with an amused glint in his sapphire eyes. The firecracker stood up and was by the brunette's side so quickly that I nearly thought the storm that whisked us all away from our home had decided to make another appearance.
"Sora, Jazzybelle needs you to defeat the shadow people she saw! GO, GO! Use your Keyblade!" And with that, she (to our horror) pushed him off the small islet and giggled.
"Jazzybelle sorry, but she wants everyone to answer her question!" A question? Why did she have one? Why did she push Sora (who was currently yelling something about creepers from Minecraft were chasing him) off the islet? Wait…since when did the hell did she know about the Keyblade?
"So…what's the question?" Kenya seemed unfazed, already used (I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not…) to the firecracker's behavior.
"…Who would Seme? Roxy or Aros?" I blinked.
…Roxy…?
/Roxas would have a field day if he heard Jazzybelle call him that, though I don't know who this 'Aros' guy is…/ Namine said thoughtfully.
"Aros is Sora. Ya know…backwards…" Jazzybelle answered when I asked her. I stared at her from my spot surprised; she actually said something…that made SENSE?
Maybe I did underestimate her…
"Roxas, definitely" Riku said almost instantly. Kenya scoffed.
"Are you doubting Sora's semeness?" Riku narrowed his eyes at her and bravely/or stupidly stepped closer to Kenya until they were face to face.
"And if I am?" Kenya narrowed her eyes till they were little mail box slits.
'Then you DIE."
Jazzybelle giggled as the two began to fight verbally. I sighed and leaned against the Paopu tree trunk. Jazzybelle never ceases to cause so much drama…
"ACTUALLY! You little funny bunnies, that wasn't Jazzybelle's question!"
"WHAT?.!" All of us yelled in confusion before narrowing our eyes at her in anger. She ignored and laughed her little insane laugh once more.
Wait…did she just call us 'little funny bunnies'? Before I could voice my concern for her, ahem, nickname for us, she cut me off by shouting:
"Jazzybelle asked that to see if you were worthy!"
…Is this the point in time when she explains that we're the chosen ones that are destined to destroy some sort of evil bastard to them keep from sucking the life out of our home?
Oh wait, that's Sora's job.
Never mind.
"Who would be Sora's partner if he got a chance to choose besides Donald and Goofy?"
Huh…that's…actually a good question. Who would Sora choose?
"Me, obviously," was Riku's answer which came almost instantaneously. It was no surprise as they always were close…maybe even that close.
"Nope!" Was the cheery answer. Riku looked disgruntled by the answer.
"Um…me?" I put out. Jasmine stared at me hard.
"Kairi, you're useless as shit. Why the hell would Sora have you fight alongside him?" Well…that hurt.
As I sat, my back towards everyone, nursing my now-very bruised ego, Riku and Kenya began to name off random people that Sora has met on his adventures.
"Arial?" –Kenya
"Yeah, the expression "Useless fish out of water" is too fitting, don't you think Kenya?" -Jazzybelle
"Got pwned…" –Riku
"Shut up, Riku." -Kenya
"Leon?" -Kenya
"Eh…no." -Jazzybelle
"Cloud?" -Riku
"No, but did you hear the theory of Cloud and Leon having some mpreg action and Sora being the result?" -Jazzybelle
"…The what?" Riku
"Er…Jazzybelle said nothing." -Jazzybelle
"…Okay…? Um…Hercules?" -Kenya
"No way Kenya, he'd be too busy keeping the Olympus Coliseum safe." -Riku
"What Bun Bun said!" -Jazzybelle
"Did you just call me-" -Riku
"Yes, Jazzybelle did just call you Bun Bun. Get use to it. Now, c'mon! JAZZYBELLE BELIEVES IN CHU!" –It's very obvious who said this.
"…" -Bun Bun
"Um…Cid?" -Kenya
"Ew, no." -Jazzybelle
"Ansem?" -Riku
"Like Sora'd actually side with him, little button!" -Jazzybelle
"The hell-" - Little Button, formerly Bun Bun
"Yeah right! Sora would NEVER choose Ansem as a partner! It'd tote be King Mickey." -Kenya
"Nope~." -Jazzybelle (I can sense the snicker in her voice at annoying everyone)
"GODDAMN IT JAZZYBELLE." -Kenya
"Hey, Jazzy? What was that for?" I looked towards the wooden bridge to see Sora approaching us again, only this time soaking wet with what looks to be explosive and burn marks littering his torn clothes and skin.
Jazzybelle bounced up to him like a toddler hyped up on candy, "Jazzybelle had to ask a question and hear everyone's opinion before asking you! But you came too early, so Jazzybelle had to distract you!"
Sora looked at her warily, confusion obvious in his eyes, but there was no anger.
"Oh…I guess that makes sense…I think."
Riku and Kenya glared at each other before nodding and stepping up to Sora, causing him to take a step back. There was so much hostility in the air. Jazzybelle riled them up well. I hope Sora was prepared to run for his life.
Before they could ask Sora the question, Jazzybelle beat them to it. Probably a good thing in the long run.
"Jazzybelle asked that if you were allowed to choose a partner(s) besides Donald and Goofy, who'd you choose?"
Sora laughed good-naturedly, "Oh that's easy! I'd totally choose the skateboard!"
…Wait-what?
Sora continued, "You know something? Whenever I was near a skateboard Roxas would shout-"
The-the fuck?
"/Screw Donald and Goofy! Choose the Skateboard, Sora!/-"
…Wait- what?
I have to say that I agree with him. The skateboard too awesome."
...The fucking hell?
CRASH!
Congratulations!
Kairi's-mind-has-been-too-occupied-with-many-"Wait-what?"-and-"The fucking hell?" has become too cliché!
This story has now crashed and burned because of Kairi's mental breakdown!
Do you get the Pokemon Reference?
If not, then please press 1 to skip this crack and read something else. Oops, too late. You already read more than half the story!
Press 2 if you wish to tell the authoress to stop making crack. Not like she'd listen anyway.
Press 3 if you would like to chase the authoress with a pitchfork for being too lazy to finish the story properly. She will sell you one for 15 cents in US money. She will also take any amount in other kinds of money besides fake.
Press your belly button to feel nauseas.
Also note that the authoress will NOT pay hospital bills that you may have gained from reading this story. Have a barf-fiiled day.
Thank you for reading everyone!
Please review and tell me what you think of an at least six month old document that's been wandering my computer uncompleted until today?
Even if you don't like it, I won't mind hate. This story is old. Makes no sense. And is CRACK.
Either way, review, fav, follow, do what you do. :D
~Kitsune-Ohime-Sama~