Title: The Masks We Wear
Author: L. Edwards
Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine… well some things are mine but not these things.
A/N: Originally written in 2007, I put it aside after posting two chapters on LaneKent. I have edited Chapter one and re-written part of chapter two and will go from there.

Thank you to Elicia1 for pointing out my tenses issue, this chapter has been fixed.

Summary: Clark Kent isn't the only one with an alter ego, friendship gains much for the two; but will the fear of losing it keep them for trying for more?

Chapter 1: Isolation

The cool breeze, rustling leaves and the last golden glimpses of the setting sun caressed the small rising hill. At the crest of the knoll bathed in the dying light, was the form of a young man deep in thought. Clark Kent had pulled his knees up towards his chest, using his arms as pillows for his chin. Watching from his vantage point as life continued on in the distance, it left him to ponder thoughts of his very own existence. He didn't want power, money, or privileges; of that much Clark was certain. He wanted a life like that of his friends: a normal life. In truth, he wanted to be in control of his future. He didn't want to allow others to shape the man he was to become. Inhaling deeply, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment. A sigh escaped his lips as he thought about what the future held. Then he leaned back, locking his fingers behind his head and relaxing his legs, letting them stretch out on the ground and gazing up into the sky. He knew he had choices, but those options possibly held very dark consequences.

He closed his eyes. It just seemed that all those paths led to darkness, death, and his damnation. The path set by Jor-El had already cost him more than he could accept, but his Kryptonian father wasn't asking of him anything that he himself hadn't been willing to do.

Clark watched as the sky became blackened by the quick spread of night. Studying, visualizing, as if each pinprick of light was a choice. The first one that came to mind was Lana Lang, but even as that surfaced in his mind, it was cast away. Even now the pain was deadening. The turmoil had surprised him, because it wasn't the anger over breaking up with her that he expected. Instead the anger was a form of guilt because Clark had found out that the breakup had only hurt him because it hurt her … his friend. Time wasted. The remorse that it had pushed her to Lex burned in his mind for a moment, and even that vanished into spent ashes.

Lex. Yes, there was a conundrum for him. The many facets of the young man had given so much promise, but the man who he had befriended years ago had chosen a different path. A path in which he feared would end with either Lex or himself dead. How had he read him so wrong? Shaking his head, Clark moved to another speck of light and to another choice. Then again his choices had already alienated another friend – Pete Ross. And there were others he had lost … including his father. He wondered what sage advice Jonathan Kent would have expounded upon him at this moment. Would he even approve of the man he was becoming? Clark knew the answer immediately … he would, because he was his father. Tears formed in his eyes, blinking them away, he felt sorrow shiver him to the core. He used the back of his hand to wipe them away as he sat up again.

"Hey, Smallville."

The voice was soft and caressing. He forced himself not to look back towards her as he took a breath and stayed silent. He had inhaled her scent, clean and sweet without being too perfumed or thick. It was a scent he had learned to look for and as crazy as it seemed, it was comforting. He looked ahead, his eyes searching the darkness for an answer to his dilemma.

"I saw you up here and figured you could use some company."

He could hear the tentative probing of her voice, and when he didn't dispute her statement Lois sat down next to him, close enough to be invading his personal space. His eyes narrowed slightly, almost darkly as he turned his head to look at her; but her eyes were already focused on the stars above. Clark's eyes softened as they burned her features into his mind. He turned his head to look back at the stars, but all he saw was Lois' face. He opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it while he searched for the words.

"So does the pain ever go away?" Clark's voice was soft as he continued to scan the skies, yet he felt her eyes upon him. He turned his head towards her, his eyes finding hers.

"It fades over time." She gazed into his eyes. She felt like she was almost as if searching for something, but she looked away. "Like a dull ache, it's always there. Though…." She stopped; her eyes wide and bright with unshed tears as she became aware of what she was about to say.

"Though what Lois?" It was almost as if he could sense her sorrow and fear as he lightly laid a hand on her shoulder. She should have flinched from the contact, as she had from other people – including Chloe – when this subject came up. Instead she was surprised that she had to fight from relaxing into his touch. Her mind wandered back to a bedside in a hospital, where she found out that Clark Kent could send shivers down her spine with a gentle clasp of his hand over hers.

"Though eventually…." Her voice grew softer, "…The pictures within your mind become blurry and the very essence of them seem to vanish." Already, as she tried to remember her mother from a past event in her life, the translucence of the scene tore at her emotions, especially the guilt she felt. She shook her head, denying the existence of her tears or the swelling pain rising up through her throat.

Clark watched Lois' torment mutely. Without thinking, he put his arm around her and was surprised when she turned into his shoulder and shook almost silently, his head resting against hers. With his face buried in her hair, every breath he took was of her.

He wasn't sure how long they had been like this but he felt an inner peace he hadn't felt in a long time. Lois' form had stopped shuddering and had become still, her arms long since locked around him. Intertwined, the two found solace within each other's presence for hours in the silence.

"Lois?" Clark spoke quietly, wondering if Lois was asleep, hating to lose what they had found. He heard a small inquiring noise and smiled at her non-verbal answer. "Tell me about your mother…. Please." For a moment he wondered if she had heard him, she sat so still. Then she shifted back so she could see his eyes warily … searchingly. "Please Lois…. Tell me about her."

"Well…. Once upon a time, an Army Captain wandered through a small town…." Her voice filled the silence that had surrounded them, replacing it with the warmth of vivid memories. Clark smiled as he listened to her, his eyes searching her face for every change of expression. Lois' eyes were lit with happiness as she shared the stories of her family, and especially of her mother. She kept her eyes immersed in his, gaining confidence and trust from them. Feeling she had never felt this deeply before, her hand itched to caress his features but was afraid to break the moment. Her voice drifted softer as she spoke about her mother's declining health, including her own insecurity, and fears. Lois' eyes started to drift down away from Clark's, but a small movement and the gentlest pressure below her chin raised her shimmering gaze back to his. Her voice died away as tears slipped from the corners of her eyes as they closed in shame for showing weakness. Warmth blossomed on her cheeks as Clark's gentle caress wiped them away. Surprised, she opened her eyes warily as if she was about to run.

"It's okay to cry, Lois…. Just remember you're never alone," Clark's voice rumbled softly. His face was solemn and his eyes worried. Lois' returned the look, her eyes roaming his face, searching for any sign of betrayal or insincerity. Instead she found acceptance and the need for the same from her, but there was also more. She felt his arms around her and instinctively found her own arms around him. She buried her face into his shoulder as small shudders rocked her frame. Hating that her weakness was on display, Lois turned her head to the side and looking up at Clark's face for judgment and disapproval. Her eyes widened at the sober visage and glistening eyes looking down at her. The corners of her mouth rose as she figured out she was no longer alone, Clark's creased and worried brow relaxed as he gazed into her eyes.

"Just remember you're not alone either, Clark…." Her hand reached up almost in wonder, caressing his jaw line as if making sure it wasn't a dream. She grinned as her hand moved up to ruffle his hair. "…Smallville." She shifted and leaned against him as the first shimmer of the sunrise glowed upon the horizon. Holding each other in a tender embrace, a gentle breeze caressed them embrace as the morning's first golden rays of sunshine bathed the small rising hill.

A new day was beginning.

-TBC-