Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I have no rights to it nor do I make any money from writing these fic's.
This little one shot is taken from JongKey Scripted's plot bunnies, so I'm just writing it! I spotted three of their bunnies that could be merged together to make a nice little funny one shot. So enjoy!
Peace Talks
Harry gave a happy hum as he walked through Diagon Alley alone. His aunt had brought Dudley to London to get his new school uniform, they had to get Dudley's clothes tailor made with how big he was. With Vernon being at work for the day Petunia didn't want to leave Harry alone in the house.
Which was how Harry came to be walking around Diagon Alley looking for a place to buy a drink. His aunt had ditched him as soon as they had arrived saying that she didn't want to see or hear anything from him until 5pm when they'd be heading back to home.
Harry didn't really care, he was just happy to be out of the house and away from his 'caring' relatives for a while. Through there was one problem, he was now lost, he had never truly explored the Alley before as he had only ever came to do his school shopping with his friends, how he came to find this little area of it he didn't know.
"Excuse me," Harry said politely to a mild-aged pureblood witch, "Do you know where I could buy myself a drink from?"
"There's a small café around the corner, about five minutes walk," the woman replied without looking up from her book, "Just follow the path and you should find it without any real problem."
Before Harry could thank her the woman quickly took off, muttering something about being late for anappointment with a client.
"Oh well," Harry said to himself with a shrug of his shoulders, "Let's see then…around the corner...follow the path."
Turning around Harry followed the path with a quite hum; the area that the path was taking him in seemed nice enough, the buildings was up keep was nice and there was flowers dotted about. All in all it was a nice little area even if it wasn't one of the fanciest.
"Oh dear," Harry said with a groan as he came to a stop.
Harry had come to the corner that the pureblood witch had mentioned only to find that he couldn't follow the path as it wasn't a single turn in the path but it was a fork in the road.
'Which way is it?' Harry thought to himself as he looked down both ways 'I better ask for direction…'
Just as Harry had turned around to where an old man stood he found himself colliding with someone else.
"Stupid mudblood, watch where you're going," came a very familiar voice, "Stupid idiots don't even know how to use their eyes."
Harry gave a cry of shock as he moved away from the other person, "TOM!"
"Potter?" Voldermort said in shock as he looked the boy up and down, "What in Merlin's name are you doing here?"
"I'm trying to find a café," Harry said as he told half of the truth, he also realised that Voldermort was wearing a glamour to make him look like he had during his years at Hogwarts, "But the real question is what are you doing here in Diagon Alley?"
"Would you believe me if I said that I was trying to buy a new stuff toy?" Voldermort said only to get a look of pure disbelief from Harry, "Thought not."
"You can't start shooting spells," Harry said as he motioned to his surroundings, "If you do…"
"I'm not here to kill anyone," Voldermort said with a wave of his hand, "I'm here to grab myself a drink and a few minutes away from my Death Eaters."
Harry blinked in shock; he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"Look if you agree to have a drink with me I'll tell you about my side of the war," Voldermort said with a shrug, "This fighting things gone on for too long."
"Alright," Harry replied with a nod of his head, "But you're not acting your normal…"
"I'm going to kill you all way?" Voldermort asked with a smirk, "You know I can't say with all of these people about, besides it's nice to get away from it all."
Harry nodded his head in understanding. They began turned right and began to walk down the path. Voldermort placed a wandless spell around them.
"What was that spell for?" Harry asked carefully, "You're not going to try and kill me are you?"
"Now am I really that bad of a person?" Voldermort asked with a mock hurt expression on his face.
Harry didn't answer as they continued to walk along the path; instead he gave Voldermort a pointed look.
"Ah, I guess that your right," Voldermort said with a sigh, "I just want to get away from those Death Eaters, with all their sniffling and bowing. It gets to you."
Harry couldn't help it, he found himself laughing at the look on Voldermort's face.
"Don't laugh at me or I'll hex you," Voldermort growled out as they continued to walk down the street.
"I'm not one of your minions Tom," Harry said with a raised eyebrow, "Besides what about everyone around us?"
"Forget about them," Voldermort said with a pout, he then eyed Harry carefully, "Would you become a Death Eater for me?"
"Are you drunk?" Harry asked carefully as he looked Voldermort up and down, "I think you know the answer to that."
Voldermort sent Harry a pout, "But Malfoy won't allow me anything stronger then tea after..."
"After what?" Harry asked as he paused in his step, any black mail on the Dark Lord would be helpful.
"Never mind," Voldermort said with a cough, "Now then about that peace talk."
Harry rolled his eyes, "I am not joining your side nor am I becoming one of your little minions."
"How about being my equal then?" Voldermort suggested.
Harry pretended to think about it, "No."
"Fine fine," Voldermort muttered, "What would want from this peace talk?"
"For you to stop attacking muggleborns and halfblood's, to allow the wizarding world to live in peace," Harry said with a raised eyebrow, "Oh and how about getting yourself a makeover?"
"You brat," Voldermort hissed out, "I should-"
"This peace talk isn't going to well is it now?" Harry said with a smirk, "Through…this is fun."
Voldermort could only let out a growl of anger; after all he did not want to blow his cover.
To Be Continued…
Just to warn you all this little fic is supposed to be funny and not make any sense. It's just for laughs really.