A fic for Colloyd day 2019, set between the end of the first game and the start of the second game, when Lloyd and Colette are apart. Part of a collaboration with Darkhymns (who wrote Lloyd's side, including the note I've made references to in this) and Frayed Symphony (who did illustrations).
For Frayed-Symphony and Darkhymns, thank you so much for doing a collaboration with me.
Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia.
Although the sun was out and the day was warm Colette shivered slightly on her way home. She knew that the Iselia villagers didn't mean to make her feel unwelcome but even though the village was bustling with people in the early afternoon she felt lonely.
She understood that some people disapproved of some of the things that had happened because of the journey she and her companions had been on, and that with some of the rumours and threats towards her, especially from the Vanguard, that people might be reluctant to even stop and talk to her because they feared being seen with her, but even just a smile or a nod might have brightened the mood.
Sighing quietly she opened the door to her house and called out to let her father and grandmother know she was back, placing the food she had gone out to buy in the kitchen. Even here things felt a little awkward. Her father and grandmother hadn't expected to see her again after the journey of regeneration, and the fact that she was alive and also asking to no longer be referred to by the title she'd had her whole life was taking some getting used to, for all of them.
Not receiving a reply and remembering that her father and grandmother had mentioned that they might be going out themselves earlier she realised she had the house to herself. She climbed the stairs and sat on her bed, reaching into a bag to find the note that Lloyd had left her. She had been confused and sad when she'd first found it and realised that he'd gone somewhere without her, but with no clue as to where he might be she'd decided to stay in Iselia, figuring that they were more likely to find each other if she stayed in the same place, otherwise they might end up travelling in opposite directions or continually missing each other. She'd also hoped that he would return quickly, but there was no sign of him yet.
He had been around for most of her life, and even though he hadn't lived in the village she had seen him at school most days and knew that he was only a fairly short distance away when he was at Dirk's house. He'd been with her for nearly the whole of the journey and then they'd been travelling together trying to find Exspheres. Suddenly being without him, not even knowing where he was or when he would return, felt strange and very wrong.
She frowned slightly as her eyes wandered across the now very familiar letters on the page, remembering the day when she'd written a note to him before she had left on the journey of regeneration. On the one hand she felt like she understood, having done something similar herself, but on the other because she knew what she'd been going through when she'd written her note she was worried about where he might be and what he might be doing, and sad that he'd done this knowing how it felt to find a note rather than your friend who you expected to be there. At least he had left a note, she thought, and had acknowledged that what he had done by writing a note and leaving rather than staying to talk was so similar and familiar.
She sighed, somehow feeling even more lonely than before. She needed to see a friendly face, she decided, and knew where she could find one.
A short while later she had left a note telling her father and grandmother where she was going, shaking her head at the irony but as she hadn't known where they were she hadn't known where to go to talk to them in person and she had felt the need to leave as soon as possible now she had decided to. She had packed a bag with a few clothes and supplies and was walking along the reassuringly familiar path and bridge, heading towards Dirk's door, when she saw Noishe at the side of the house. She squeaked his name in surprise and ran over to him as he barked in delight and ran towards her. They met in the middle and she wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his fur. If Noishe was here then maybe...
Dirk opened the door, curious about why Noishe was barking, and smiled gently when he saw Colette. He greeted her and she looked over to him.
"Hi Dirk. Is Lloyd..." her voice trailed off as he shook his head.
"I'm sorry lass, I don't know where he is. He said he was going to help a friend, and left Noishe here because he needed to travel light. I thought he might be back with you by now perhaps," he said, a hopeful tone in his voice. Colette mirrored the gesture he'd made at her question.
"Why don't you come in? I just put the kettle on the stove if you'd like a drink," he offered. Colette nodded and followed him in, Noishe following close behind.
As Colette sat at the table, hands cupped around the warm mug, she felt herself relax a little. Dirk's house always felt warm, inviting and safe, and his face was open and friendly, so different to those she'd been seeing in the village. Suddenly she was unable to stop herself from telling him about everything that had happened, the words and worries pouring out before she realised how much she was saying.
She blinked as she finished, tears starting to trickle from her eyes.
"I'm sorry, you're probably so worried yourself and I," she started, but stopped, surprised, as the dwarf lightly hugged her. Noishe gave a soft whine and moved closer to her to nuzzle her.
"It's OK," Dirk said. "And you're welcome to stay here, if you want to."
"I was just going to ask if I could camp in your garden, I needed to leave the village and wanted to go somewhere safe but I don't want to be a bother," Colette said.
"Nonsense, it'd be nice to have some company," Dirk said. Colette nodded slightly as she realised that Lloyd not being around must feel even weirder for Dirk, as he'd seen him every day until the journey of regeneration, and hadn't seen him much since, although they had made sure to stop by when they could.
"If, if you're sure," Colette said quietly.
Dirk had insisted, and had said that she should stay in Lloyd's room.
"I'm sure he'd want you to be comfortable. He cares very much about you, you mean a lot to him," Dirk said.
"I, I care about him very much too." Colette said quietly, holding her hands together and looking down at her lap, a slight blush appearing on her cheeks. "I'm so worried about him, I know he's strong and can look after himself but if something happened to him..."
"He wouldn't have left you unless it was absolutely necessary, I'm sure of that," Dirk reassured her, his voice gentle.
"The last thing he'd want to do in the world would be to hurt you. And I'm sure, whatever he's doing, he'll be careful and come back to you as soon as he can. I think being apart from you is something he'll be finding very hard, he..." Dirk continued, stopping mid sentence as if he'd realised he was saying too much.
"He, what?" Colette asked quietly, her head slightly tipped to one side.
"No, it's, just, you should know that you're special to him. It's not my place to say more," Dirk said, before quickly changing the subject to ask what she'd like for dinner.
Colette frowned slightly, trying to process what Dirk had said and wondering if it meant what she thought it might mean, before shaking her head to clear it and asking what he had in the kitchen and if she could help cook.
Over the following days Colette settled in to a routine, helping Dirk with chores around the house, and even helping him with some of his work as the dwarf taught her some basic things she could pick up fairly easily. She spent a lot of time with Noishe too, brushing his coat and hugging him. The sadness she felt at missing Lloyd didn't go away, but it was good to be somewhere safe where she felt welcome and at home, to be useful and even learn new things.
Nights were worse though, when she lay in bed, feeling the absence of Lloyd's presence that, up until recently, had always been close. Even when the group had stayed at an inn she knew he was only down the hall, and when they'd been travelling looking for Exspheres, just the two of them, they had always shared a twin room. Being in his room, surrounded by some of his things and even, faintly, his smell, somehow both helped but also made her feel his absence even more. She missed him so much it was painful, quite literally at times when she felt a dull ache in her chest.
On a particularly difficult night she couldn't sleep, turning over this way and that and rearranging the pillow several times. Eventually she gave up and sat up, pulling the extra blanket that was sitting at the end of the bed around her shoulders. Stepping carefully and quietly, not wanting her footsteps to disturb Dirk downstairs, she walked over to the balcony and let herself out on to it, sitting on the floor and gently leaning her arms on the railings. The night was warm, with a gentle breeze, and the sky was clear.
She looked up at the stars which, now that the two worlds were reunited, were a little different than they had been before, but still somehow familiar. She had spent many nights when she had been unable to sleep looking up at the stars and she found herself spotting some of the patterns she had seen in the past amongst all the bright dots. As she did so the thought that now that the two worlds were combined again Lloyd would definitely be under the same sky as her was comforting. Wherever he was even if the view was different it would still be the same stars.
She spotted a particularly bright one and concentrated on it, wondering if Lloyd was looking up at the stars tonight and could see them too. She hoped that he was, and that he was maybe even looking at the same one as her. She held on to that thought, hugging the blanket tightly around her shoulders, for a while, listening to the quiet sounds of the river and forest around her. Then she stood up and moved back to the bed. If they were both under the same sky then surely they'd be able to find each other again. Perhaps in the morning she might go in to the village and try to ask if anyone might have any clues as to where he was.
And when she found him, she decided, she would tell him how much he meant to her and that she loved him. She had been nervous about doing so before, worried that perhaps changing their relationship from friends to something more might be awkward. Having been apart from him and feeling the pain she had at missing him had convinced her that telling him how she felt was something that was very important to do when she got the opportunity, and was something that, perhaps, she should have done sooner when she had had the chance before. Especially as she had wondered if the crossed out parts of his note might have been hinting at feelings he had but couldn't express at the time on paper and having heard what Dirk had said, his words giving her confidence that Lloyd might, no, did, feel the same way.
She had opened the curtains on her way back into the room and looked out of the window as she lay back down in the bed, pleased to see that she was able to spot the bright star she'd noticed earlier from the bed. That, she decided, was a good omen, a thought that helped her to finally drift off to sleep.