A/N: Set in the crossover episodes of Season 5 (5x15, 5x16).
Alex/Izzie didn't happen!
The whole 'Jen' thing didn't happen, really didn't want to work that into this!
It's hardly mentioned but nobody but Callie & Addison know about Mark & Lexie.
Not that its at all relevant but Izzie doesn't get cancer, basically because I hated that storyline a little bit (Y)
Based on a little spark I saw between them (or possibly wanted to see between them) in the scene where he tells her that he loves Izzie (ick.) It's where I got the train thing from, I reworked it, a lot, so it's possible that it makes no sense. Go with it.
One-Shot for now, feels like maybe there could be a second part? Let me know in your REVIEWS! iam-kelly.
He knew it was stupid of him, he knew it had been too long, he'd left it too long, she didn't even look at him anymore, that's right he saw all of those longing glances she gave him before she left, she didn't do that anymore. Ok so her brother did just have brain surgery, her ex-intern? Sex partner? Lover? Whatever he was in the end, her ex-thing was probably the last thing on her mind but when he saw her sat there on the bench in front of the hospital he had to ask, he had to know.
~x~
"Can I ask you something?" he said sitting down next to her, no hello, just a simple straight forward question, she made a noise of acceptance and nodded at him to continue "Are you happy?"
"My brother just had brain surgery" she said dryly.
"No, I know, it's just, there's this girl, woman, there's this woman and, I love her, but I don't think I can tell her because it's like there was a train, and it was heading straight for me and I could have got on the train, I could have got on the train and I could be somewhere happy, I could be happy but I didn't get on it, I let it go but I want to be back on the train, start over but to do that I need to know did it work? Starting over, running, did it work? Are you happy?"
"I didn't run Alex, I walked, I walked away, there's a difference"
"Yeah but are you happy?"
Addison stared at him, he could almost see her brain ticking over through her eyes, she sighed heavily and stood up "I should get back in there" she said turning away, he grabbed her wrist and she looked down at it, her eyes then wandering to his expectantly.
"You didn't answer my question" he said simply.
"What does it matter if I'm happy?"
"It matters to me" he said quietly "I need to know that I did the right thing by letting you go"
"Ok you've completely lost me now" she said with a slight nervous laugh, she pulled her arm away from him and crossed her arms self-consciously against her chest.
"I didn't say those things to you because I didn't want you Addison" he kept his eyes firmly in contact with hers, his voice not wavering one little bit "So I need to know that you're happy, that moving away from this, all of this, it was what you needed, that I didn't blow my chance for no good reason, that I didn't end up being exactly like Shepard and Sloan, I need to know that because if you're not happy, then I should have been on the train"
"You're exactly like them" she whispered, her hand came up to her face and she wiped the single tear that had fell onto her cheek "I hope this woman, the woman you love, I hope she gets on the next train with you"
"I hope she does to" Alex sighed "Addison I…."
"I really have to go" she said quickly turning back towards the hospital.
~x~
He watched her for the next 2 days, sitting with her brother, talking to her friends, he loved it when she laughed, the way her eyes gave of a little twinkle, the thing he hated most was that now he knew she wasn't really happy "You're exactly like them" she'd whispered, he hated that he always knew he was. He watched on that last day as she said her goodbyes to her Seattle friends in the lobby, Shepard, Sloan, Bailey, Torres, the Chief, even Meredith made an appearance, she had been working on the case after all, he watched as her LA friends promised Shepard and Sloan that they really would keep in touch this time and just as she gave Shepard one last hug of thanks he took his chance, he stood to the side of them and locked his eyes on her.
"It's you" he said firmly.
"What?!" she said looking straight at him, he ignored that everyone else had looked over at him too.
"The one who I should have been on the train with, it was you, it is you"
"Alex I…."
"No, let me say this" he said taking a step towards her "I've been convincing myself for a year that not coming after you, not fighting for you, I've convinced myself that that was the right thing to do, that letting you go was the right thing to do but then I asked you if you were happy and you avoided it, you avoided the question and the only thing you could say was that I was just like them and now I know that letting you go, it was the stupidest thing I have ever done and I just need you to know that, Addison, I love you, I've loved you since, I don't even know when and I panicked, I panicked because that train I was talking about, it was heading for white picket fences and barbecues and the 2.5 red-headed kids chasing the dog around the yard, it was heading for a lifetime, a promise and I panicked because I wanted that so much, I wanted it with you so much but I couldn't do it, I couldn't do it because I didn't want to be like them, I didn't want to end up being absent or a cheater that leaves underwear for you to find and I wouldn't do that, I wouldn't but at the time I was so sure I would, that eventually I would so I told you that I didn't want you, I said 'You're not my girlfriend', I mean at the time you weren't but I wanted you to be, I said that because I wanted to let you find happiness, I wanted to let you get on the train and head straight for that life, hopefully finding someone along the way who could give it to you and now, now your here, your here and without saying the words you've basically told me that you're not happy, that I was wrong and now the trains done a full circuit and it's back to where it started and whether the destination is LA or New York or right back here in Seattle I'm on it, I'm on the train, I'm heading for that life and if you can forgive me, if you can understand why I did it, if you can let me love you, believe that I do love you then there's space, there's space on this train for you, for us, I love you Addison and I really hope that I'm enough to make you happy"
"I…." Addison choked out through the silent tears that had started trailing down her cheeks "I….I don't….I….Alex" she sighed.
"I know I've left it a long time Addison, I know that but I just, I couldn't let you go for a third time without saying it so, I just know that you are what I want, you are what I've wanted for a long time"
He took the last few steps between them and reached out to her face, he tucked her now short hair behind her ear, he brought his hand to her cheek and wiped off the tears, he moved it across to the other before bringing it down to the nape of her neck, her hand came up to his chest, it rested tentatively there, she shifted nervously on her feet, she took a breath went to turn away but turned back and crashed her lips against his, the hand that rested on her neck moved up into her hair, his other wrapped around her waist and pulled her tight into him, her hands moved up around his neck and held onto his head. This kiss started off hard, full of passion, tongue's searching for each other, after a minute it softened, it became slow and soul searching, much like their first kiss at the bar, they came to an almost stand still, their lips pecking at each other, he could taste her tears, as the kissing finally stopped they held each other close, her face buried into the side of his neck, his lips placing kisses into her hair.
"I love you Addison" he whispered into her ear.
"You're an ass" she muttered into his body.
"Yeah, well, I can't deny that" he said with a light chuckle.
"It's been over a year" she said quietly, she pulled back slightly so she could look into his eyes.
"I know"
"I know what happened with Ava, I know everything, people talk and, I know what happened"
"I know. When you told me, at the wedding, when you told me I wanted her I made myself believe it, I wanted to want her but I didn't want her Addison, I wanted you, I want you"
"I need to tell you something"
"Anything"
She pulled him back into a tight hug so her lips lined up with his ear, she lowered her voice so not to be heard by their obvious awe stricken audience "A year ago I only had two eggs left, that two could be zero now so those red-headed kids probably won't exist"
"So we adopt" he whispered "We could adopt as many kids as you want and while we did that we could spend any free time we managed to get trying to get at those two eggs"
She let out a small laugh and again pulled slightly back, she pecked his lips softly and pressed their foreheads together.
"So….this train….I haven't missed it right?" she asked with a small smile.
"You haven't missed it" he grinned squeezing her hand.
"Good" she nodded "Because call me stupid, call me crazy, call me a complete and utter fool because god help me I love you Alex Karev, I put you in my tiny box of Seattle crap and I tried to move on and there have been other men and they've haven't worked out because you were the last thing to go in the box and I couldn't quite shut it"
"I think we should stop with the metaphors now" he whispered "Because all you need to know is that I'm in love with you"
"And all you need to know is that I'm in love with you too"
"What are we going to do?" he sighed as he stroked her cheek softly with his thumb.
"I have no idea" she said dropping her head to his chest "Maybe we should start by turning around and feed ourselves to the lions"
"You're right" he chuckled "I sure pick my moments don't I?"
"You sure do" she smirked at him, she linked her fingers firmly through his and they slowly turned around to their shell shocked peers.
"Hi" Addison said quietly "I guess you heard all that huh?"
Callie smirked at them and slowly walked towards them, she reached out and smacked Alex around the back of the head.
"Ow! Jesus Torres what the hell was that for?!"
"That was for taking a whole freaking year to apologize you moron!"
"I know alright, I was an idiot, I get it" he said rubbing his head.
"So….what are you going to do?" she asked calmly.
"I need girl talk" Addison said quickly "You, Naomi, Miranda, girl talk, advice, I need advice"
"Ok, then lets go do some girl talk" she said grabbing her arm and pulling her away from Alex.
"Wait wait wait…." Addison said quickly, she turned back to Alex and kissed him soundly on the lips, she flashed him a grin and turned back to Callie "Ready" she smiled.
Callie rolled her eyes and led her over to Naomi and Miranda.
~x~
Alex stood still on his spot and smiled happily to himself, he didn't even notice Meredith approach him until he felt her hand swipe the back of his head.
"OW! Jeez, what is it with people doing that today?!" he exclaimed rubbing his head.
"Why didn't you tell me you slept with Addison?" she hissed.
"I didn't tell anyone and if I was going to tell someone it wouldn't be her ex-husbands girlfriend now would it?!"
"Ok, you can have that one but Alex, seriously, this is, this is big"
"I know"
"So are you moving to LA?"
"I don't know, maybe, if she wants me to, I'm letting her decide"
"You've really loved her all this time? Even through all the stuff with Ava?"
"All this time Mer" he nodded "I've been so stupid"
"I'll miss you if you go"
"I'll miss you too" he laughed, he pulled her in for a hug and kissed the top of her head "Please make sure Shepard and Sloan don't kill me"
"I'll try my best" she chuckled.
~x~
"So….what do I do?" Addison said as herself, Callie, Bailey and Naomi huddled together in the seating area by the window of the lobby.
"Firstly…." Bailey started, she leant over and smacked Addison on the arm "That is for sleeping with my intern, all you people have on your damn brains is sex"
"He's not your intern anymore" Addison grumbled rubbing her arm.
"Not the point you…."
"I think we're getting away from the actual point here" said Naomi.
"Naomi's right" said Callie "So, first instincts, what d'you know?"
"That I love him" Addison smile softly "That I want to be with him"
"What about where?" asked Naomi "Where do you want to be with him?"
"Anywhere" Addison sighed.
"This is going to be harder than we thought" Bailey muttered "Ok, so, based on your first instinct, where do you want to be with him?"
Addison sighed and rubbed her hands across her face.
"Forget about the practice, I know that's what you're thinking about but forget about it, we can work something out" Naomi said softly.
"Honestly, my first instinct, my first instinct was staying in Seattle" Addison stuttered.
"Then stay in Seattle" said Naomi.
"But then there's Derek and Mark and all of that crap thats in the box and I just, I don't know if I can come back to that"
"They've moved on Addison" said Bailey.
"Yeah, Shepards like an inch away from proposing which Mark so elegantly informed you of" Callie grimaced "And Mark, Mark's got his own Grey"
"I'm sorry what?!" Bailey exclaimed.
"I didn't tell you that!" Callie said quickly "We'll talk about it later, not important, as I was saying, they've moved on, they just want you to be happy Addison"
"You think so?"
"I know so" Callie smiled "So, what will it be?"
"Naomi I can't….."
"Addie, this isn't like the last time, we're not going to lose contact, the practice is back on its feet thanks to you, me and Sam can work together now and after all you're only a phone call away"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure" Naomi smiled softly "Now go and get your man"
"Thank you" Addison sighed "I really needed this"
"We know" they all laughed.
~x~
"I don't know you" Sam said firmly, Alex had been surrounded by Sam, Mark, Derek and the Chief "I don't know you so I don't trust you"
"I've never liked you" said Mark "But you know that"
"She's like a daughter to me, you hurt her and you're fired" said the Chief.
"Permission to speak like we don't work together" said Alex.
"Granted" the Chief nodded.
"You didn't fire dumb and dumber over here and they hurt her, they destroyed her"
"Hey! That's…." Mark started.
"He has a point" Derek muttered.
"Yeah ok" Mark sighed.
"I'm not going to hurt her, not again, I love her, so whatever she decides is fine with me"
"We'll kick your ass if you hurt her" said Sam "And as soon as Archers back on his feet I'm sure he'll say the same"
"Wouldn't expect anything less" said Alex.
"Alex?" they heard Addison say from behind them, they all stepped aside and let Alex pass through them.
"Hey" he smiled.
"They're threatening you aren't they" she smirked.
"You're worth it" he smiled "So…."
"You wouldn't happen to have somewhere for me to sleep would you?"
Alex grinned widely and scooped her up in his arms, she let out a squeal but proceeded to kiss him firmly on the lips.
"Is this a yes?" she laughed.
"You do know who I live with right?" he smirked.
"I think I can live with that, for a little while anyway" she smiled "I'm staying one more night then I have to go back to get my stuff"
"Ok" he smiled softly "So you're really choosing Seattle?"
"I'm really choosing Seattle" she nodded "I love you Alex"
"I love you too" he smiled "So I'm going to ask you something and you have to promise me you'll answer ok?"
"Ok" she nodded.
"Are you happy?"
"I'm happy" she smiled before crashing her lips onto his "I'm so so happy"
~x~ ~x~ ~x~