A/N: Hi I'm Amethyst Blade and I will be your current waste of time! I'm new to writing (fan fiction anyway) and have little idea what I'm doing--that should make things interesting for you, my readers. You may or may not review…your choice. If you like it though, tell me please!

And so you know, Al is human, and dating Wrath(they'll appear later) and their living with Ed and Envy…don't ask why…

Disclaimer: I will own Fullmetal Alchemist when chibis fly.

Envy: Edo cannot fly--therefore she doesn't own us.

Ed: …(twitching)

Ame: Uh-oh.

Ed: WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT IT'D TAKE 500 OF HIM TO FILL A SEAHORSE'S SADDLE!

Ame: Who said anything about seahorses? Oh well--on with the story!

Envy and Ed: (arguing loudly in background

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Of Palm trees and Chibis Drabble One: Touch My Ass

Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist sat in his living room reading his newest alchemical text. And trying to ignore a certain Sin staring at him. Which was difficult considering said person kept slowly edging closer.

"Hey, Chibi-san?"

"Yes, Envy?" The blonde glared at the slender hand now blocking his page, a slight twitch coming to his eye.

"Touch my ass," the homunculus replied seriously. That got Ed's attention.

"WHAT?"

"Touch--my--ass." Envy repeated slowly, pushing his bottom in his chibi's face. Golden eyes stared at him in disbelief, so the older male continued. "We've been lovers for…what now? Almost a year. And yet you hardly ever touch my ass."

The alchemist stared. "What's that got to do with anything?" Envy pouted and snuggled down on the couch next to the eldest Elric, undoing the teenager's braid as he did so.

"It makes me think you don't think I'm sexy!" The pout grew in intensity, while the blonde on the couch blushed.

"It's not that, I just…um…don't want to. That's all," Ed muttered, attempting to redo his hair.

Amethyst eyes widened in hurt. "Why not?"

The alchemist was an intense shade of scarlet now. "Do we have to continue this discussion? I have to get to the office…" The blonde jumped from the couch proceeding towards the door.

"But Edo…"

"I'llbehomelaterbye!"

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RRRRRRING

Ed sighed as he answered the phone in Mustang's office. "Hello this is Edward Elric can I help you?"

"Yeah, Chibi, when you come home--"

"NO!" SLAM

Five minutes later…

RRRRRRING

"Hello?"

"Yeah, Chibi, you should really--"

"NO!"

Five more minutes…

RRRRRRING

Edward frowned and sighed, picking up the phone. "Hi, is this Envy?"

"Yes! Hiya, Chibi, you know you shouldn't hang up on pe--"

"STOP CALLING ME!" As the blonde was about to replace the receiver, he heard Envy mutter something.

"Then I'll come by! See ya later Chibi-san!" The chirpy voice was cut off as the Sin hung up.

"Crap."

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KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Edward Elric rose angrily from his superior officer's desk and raced to the door. "FINE! I'LL TOUCH YOUR DAMNED ASS!" he screamed to the office's new occupant, grabbing their fanny and squeezing.

"That's nice and everything Fullmetal, but I really don't think of you that way. Now please remove your hand, before I burn it."

Ed gulped and nodded. "Sorry Colonel, won't happen again."

A certain homunculus giggled from where he stood in the hallway.

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Ame: So, what'd ya think?

Envy: Chibi really should touch my ass more.

Ed:…(twitching again)

Ame: Thought you'd agree with me! Well until next time…KILL THE MUFFINS!

Ed: Not that again….

Envy: (sighs) please review if you want. While she's still in loopy-land.

Ame: (giggling madly) SLAUGHTER THEM! KILL THEM ALL!

Envy and Ed: (hiding under Ame's bed.