A/N: Oh god I'm so horrible…I swear I did try to update this sooner but it just kept getting longer and longer. I really suck at uploading ff's…To all of you who sent me your prompts/ideas don't be discouraged because I didn't pick your idea/prompt this time keep on suggesting it or ask for a different prompt and I'll eventually get around to it.
Disclaimer: I don't own -man…damn that hurts every time.
Warnings: Cross-dressing, and probably quite a few grammar errors.
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Not So Merry Christmas
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"Kanda and Allen please report to Komui's office. I repeat Kanda and Allen please report to Komui's office."
Both teens who were currently standing in the center of the cafeteria lowered their innocence branded weapons which they'd been pointing at each other until now and gave each other one last glare before they started making their way towards Komui's office.
After a few minutes they arrived at Komui's office. When they walked in through the door they saw Komui sitting at his desk wearing a creepy grin that could rival that of the Millennium Earl's.
"Welcome boys please sit." Komui said as he gestured to the black leather couch in front of his desk.
Allen and Kanda both exchanged questioning looks before they cautiously took a seat.
"Now I'm assuming you're both wondering why I've called you here. Well, as you both know Chouji died a few weeks ago and even though it's been a while a few of our fellow friends are still grieving his loss. The air around the Black Order has been pretty gloomy lately and this has caused my darling precious Lenalee to become depressed..." At this Komui stopped to
give a dramatic sigh.
"It breaks my heart to see my precious Lenalee so sad so that's why I've been thinking up of ways to cheer her up. It wasn't until a few days ago that I realized that the Christmas holidays are coming up and then it hit me." Komui slammed his hands down on his desk, startling the two teen in front of him.
"I'm going to cheer Lenalee and everyone else in the Black Order by having a big Christmas party! However, Reever won't let me slack off from work, so this is where you two come in. I want you two to go around the Black Order spreading the Christmas spirit. I've already gotten Lavi to start making the arrangements for the Christmas party, all you two have to do is walk around the Black Order wearing these Christmas outfits." Komui then handed each of them a white bag.
"Allen you'll be dressed us as Mrs. Claus!" Komui said as Allen took out the outfit inside the bag. As Allen looked at the outfit that he'd gotten out of the bag a bright blush started to spread itself across his face. It was a short spaghetti strap dress with white fluff at the top and bottom of the dress, and it had a black belt with a silver buckle around the waist. Along with the dress he'd been giving a red Christmas hat, three inch sexy black heeled boots and...Were those several pairs of white panties at the bottom of the bag?!
"I can't wear this!" Allen spluttered as he held up the dress in front of him. "I'm a guy! Why don't you get a girl in the black order to wear this? Like maybe Miranda or Lenalee?!"
"Miranda is too shy to dress up and how dare you suggest my innocent little sister wearing something as revealing as that?!"
Komui then turned to look at Kanda who'd been sitting there quietly glaring at his white bag. "Kanda you'll be dressed as Santa Claus."
As soon as he'd heard what he was expected to dress up as Kanda threw the bag back at Komui. "You're crazy as fuck if you think I'm going to dress up as a jolly fat man and walk around with a slutty Mrs. Claus wishing everybody a merry Christmas!" Kanda shouted as he pointed towards a blushing Allen.
"You can and you will!" Komui shouted back. "I will do anything to make my darling sister happy and if that means I have to use force then I will." Komui said with an evil glint as he took out a big drill and a flame thrower. "Now Kanda you can still change your mind." Komui sang in a sing song voice.
"Do your worst." Kanda said as he looked Komui straight in the eyes.
Five minutes later both exorcists started walking out of the room clutching their individual white bags as if their lives depended on it. There were quite a few things you'd never want to see or experience in your life and during those five minutes they'd spent in Komui's office they now knew better than to argue with the man when it came to all matters concerning Lenalee.
"Make sure to wear your outfits all throughout the rest of this week starting today and at the Christmas party!" Komui said. "Come back to my office once you've both dressed up so that I can give you the items you'll be giving out and the things you'll need to decorate the Black Order.
Once they were a safe distance from Komui's office both of them went their separate ways to get dressed.
As Allen walked to his room he dreaded having to wear what Kanda had called "the slutty Mrs. Claus outfit". 'Who knows maybe it won't be so bad?' Allen thought to himself knowing that he was lying to himself.
Once he got to his room he quickly walked in, locked the door behind him and started to get undressed. After struggling a bit with putting on the dress Allen managed to get dressed in about 10 minutes.
'Oh god I hope I don't look as ridiculous as I feel.' Allen said as he walked out the door back to Komui's office.
He was about to open the door to Komui's office again when he saw a red figure start making his way towards him.
The red figure turned out to be Kanda dressed in his Santa Claus outfit. He was wearing the traditional Santa Claus outfit. He had red pants, and a red shirt with white fuzz at the bottom, the hem, the cuffs, and running down the middle of his shirt. He had a black belt around his waist, a Christmas hat on his head and a fake white curly beard on his chin.
Allen then smirked as he saw the bulge in Kanda's suit. It seemed that Komui had made Kanda stuff a pillow down his shirt to give Kanda a more round look just like Santa.
"Wipe that grin off your face moyashi!" Kanda said as he walked towards Allen.
"Aww what's the matter Kanda did eating all those cookies finally go to your waist?" Allen asked with a smirk as he poked Kanda's fake stomach.
"Che, at least I'm not dressed like a stripper from the North Pole." Kanda said as he pointed to the Allen's extremely short dress that barely covered his body and only reached a little bit above his mid thighs.
"Touché" Allen said as they both walked back into Komui's office.
"Ah perfect timing." Komui said as he saw the two walk in. "I have the Christmas decorations you guys will be putting up along with various baskets filled with goodies that you two will be passing out right here." Komui said as he pointed to his left where there was a ginormous stack of boxes surrounded by many green and red drum baskets filled with goodies.
'Fuck.' Both exorcists thought as they looked at all the boxes.
"I suggest you get started right now if you want to finish anytime soon." Komui said as he looked at the pair of stunned exorcists.
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Five hours later both Kanda and Allen had managed to finish decorating the entire Black Order in Christmas lights, candy canes, mistletoe, Christmas garlands and everything else that'd been stored inside the boxes.
"I never want to see another Christmas garland for as long as I live." Allen muttered as he decorated the Christmas tree in the main hall.
"Che. Quit your complaining and hurry up and finish so we can get this day over with." Kanda muttered.
"Geez, well maybe if you helped me instead of standing around just watching we'd get done faster." Allen replied back as he put another colorful Christmas ornament on the tree.
"Fuckin moyashi can't do anything right." Kanda muttered as he moved to grab a box of ornaments.
After about 20 minutes they were almost done decorating the Christmas tree the only thing left to do was turn on its lights and put the Christmas star on top.
"I'll put the Christmas star on top while you go turn on the lights." Allen said as he climbed on top of a ladder with the star in hand.
It wasn't until Allen had climbed the top of the ladder that he realized he'd have to stretch quite a bit to be able to put the star on top of the big tree. With a sigh Allen started stretching out his hand and would have succeeded in putting the star on the tree if it weren't for a certain redhead.
"Oi! Allen!"
Allen had been so concentrated on putting the star on top that when he heard Lavi call out his name he lost his balance and fell of the ladder.
'Fuck' Allen thought as he fell. He expected to fall and hit the cold unforgiving floor hard however that wasn't what happened. Instead he landed on something warm and soft?
That's when he heard a grunt from underneath him and looked up to see that he'd fallen right on top of Kanda. 'Could things get any worse?' Allen thought to himself as he tried to get up. It was then that he realized that he was straddling Kanda's legs with his face near the samurai's crotch and that his dress had ridden up just enough to let anyone get a good look at what was hidden underneath the short dress.
"Shit." Allen said blushing a bright cherry red as he frantically tried to get off of Kanda.
"As much as I'm enjoying the show..." Lavi said as he looked down at the two. "What's up with the costumes? Is this some kinky role play that you two have been wanting to try out? And if so, can I join in?" Lavi added with a leer.
"Che, get your mind out of the gutter baka usagi." Kanda said as he got up off the floor. "Komui forced us to dress up in these stupid costumes to try and spread some fuckin' Christmas spirit around the Black Order."
"Oh I see...so I'm guessing this means no three-some? Oh well...so Kanda since you're Santa..." Next thing the raven-haired man knew he was being tackled down on the floor by a certain hyperactive rabbit.
"The fuck rabbit? What the hell are you doing?!" Kanda shouted as he tried to sit up.
"It's obvious isn't it? I'm going to sit on your lap and tell you what I want for Christmas." Lavi replied as he adjusted himself on Kanda's lap.
"Get the hell off of me before I decide to slash you with Mugen." Kanda said as he started to unsheathe Mugen.
"Hush Santa I'm trying to remember what I want." Lavi's face took on a thoughtful expression. "I want some new bandanas, a pair of new boots, some new earrings and...you tied down to my bed with chocolate and whipped cream on top on Christmas morning." Lavi said as he gave Kanda's ear a quick lick before he jumped off running.
It was at that point that Kanda finally lost his patience and started chasing after Lavi with the sole purpose of maiming the rabbit. "Get back here Baka usagi I'm not through with you!"
For the next 20 minutes Kanda was chasing after Lavi, Lavi was running for his life and Allen was leaning against a wall laughing as he watched the other two running around. The sight of an angry "samurai" Santa Claus chasing around Lavi with Mugen was a sight to see. Kanda looked absolutely ridiculous running around with Mugen while wearing a fake white beard and fake stomach that kept on threatening to slip out of his costume.
"Allen please help me!" Lavi said as he ran towards Allen and cowered behind him. "I'm too young to die!"
"Calm down Lavi I-"
"Oh no he's heading this way" Lavi said as he caught a glimpse of the samurai Santa coming their way quickly. "I'm sorry Al but it's either me or you...so..."
"Wait. What?" Allen asked right before Lavi pushed him hard towards Kanda who was now only a few feet away causing them both to end up on the floor once again.
"We've really got to stop meeting each other like this." Allen muttered as he moved his face away from Kanda's crotch and got up.
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The next four days until the Christmas party were...somewhat okay.
Passing out goodies to everyone in the Black Order should have been an easy task but unfortunately a certain red-head decided to make their job hard. Lavi would pop in out of nowhere and would start teasing/annoying Kanda until the older teen finally broke and started chasing after him. At first Allen had let them run off but after they'd started destroying many of the Christmas decorations that'd been put up he decided to chase after the other two to make sure that no more decorations were destroyed/harmed.
For Kanda the past four days had been torture. It hadn't been so much about passing out goodies that annoyed him but having to walk around with a naive bean sprout.
As they'd passed around Christmas goodies he saw the predator like way that many of the finders looked at Allen. Not only did they leer at him but some of them even had the guts to shamelessly flirt with the moyashi.
The moyashi of course being the naive person he is simply brushed off their flirting as friendly banter.
'Che how naive can you be?' Kanda thought as he once again dragged the moyashi away from a few finders who were getting a bit too friendly. In the beginning he'd tried to convince himself that he didn't do it because he cared about the moyashi but because it interfered with him finishing the stupid task he'd been sent out to do.
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'Just one last time...' Kanda thought as he put on his Santa suit for the Black Order Christmas party. After today he'd never have to see the horrible red and white suit ever again if he was lucky.
After getting dressed, Kanda walked down to the Black Order cafeteria where the party was to be held at. When he walked in he saw many people eating, drinking and dancing. He then saw an energetic red-head making his way towards him.
"Hey Yuu! Still looking as sexy as ever even in that Santa suit...damn for once I wish I was on the naughty list," Lavi said as he pressed himself against Kanda.
"Che if you don't stop pressing against me I'll fuckin make sure that you end up on a list and trust me it won't be the kind of list you're thinking of." Kanda said as he gave Lavi a death glare.
"Aww damn..." Lavi said with a pout. "Hey, where's Allen? I know I saw him earlier but I don't see him here."
"Che. Hell if I should know he's not my responsibility." Kanda replied as he started walking towards the ginormous sled that'd been set at the front of the cafeteria along with five ginormous bags filled with presents.
"Aww but you should know after all he is your wife Santa~! Anyways I guess I'll go look for him it's almost time for you two to pass out the presents." Lavi said before he headed off in search of Allen.
After Lavi left to go look for Allen, Kanda stayed sitting down on the sleigh. 'Baka moyashi probably got lost again'
After 30 minutes of waiting for Lavi to show up with Allen, Kanda finally got restless. 'Where the fuck are they?' Just as he was about to stand up and go look for them he saw Lavi running his way with a worried look.
"Allen's missing."
TBC…?
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A/N: So how was it? Like it? Hate it? Tell me what you think! Tell me what you'd like to see in a Christmas drabble! All you have to do is send me a review or a PM.