Pairing: D18
Prompt: Last Farewell
Summary: He refuses to be the one to clip the skylark's wings. That's why he had to let him go. D18
Word Count: 3,232
Written for the KHR Writing Contest. I tried to think of something that wasn't angst but I failed rather miserably.
It is Romario who first suggested that Dino should go and see a specialist consultant. Dino had laughed at this at first and just dismissed it but his faithful subordinate was surprisingly persistent for somebody who was supposed to take orders rather than give them. It was not normal, he claimed, that someone should be so clumsy. It was not normal that somebody in the peak of their lifetime should fall over their own feet so often or drop things without any real reason. Eventually Dino caves and allows himself to be taken there, if only to give Romario some peace of mind.
He decides straight away that he doesn't like the hospital. They spend what he finds to be a ridiculous amount of time running hundreds of tests that he is fairly sure he doesn't even need. They jab him with needles, listen to his heart rate, shine lights into every orifice imaginable before leaving him in the waiting room and telling him they will be back soon with his results.
He's never really noticed the smell before either but now it seems almost suffocating, the stench of chemicals and illness and death. There are plenty of other people, old people shuffling along with walking sticks or else sneezing and coughing all around him.
"If I wasn't sick before coming here I certainly will be now," He quips jokingly when he finally sees the doctor returning, clipboard full of notes in his hands. The other man smiles but it is a thin, tight lipped smile more out of duty than anything else and it does nothing to disguise the grave look on his face. Romario, who has been pacing irritatingly back and forth across the tiled floor, halts immediately when he sees this.
Somehow they both know it's not good news.
Dino stops listening somewhere after 'motor neuron disease' and 'muscle wastage', his mind reeling into overdrive. He staggers backwards, intending to drop down on one of the chairs but misses and lands on the floor instead. He is barely aware of Romario or the doctor rushing over to him and trying to help him up.
When they have settled him down in a chair and gotten him a glass of water which he only manages to take one sip of before he puts it down he turns to the doctor, trying to pretend that his hands aren't shaking and that his voice isn't wavering.
"So? What's the prognosis?"
The doctor looks grim, glancing down at the charts in his hands, but he tries to mask it by injecting some cheerfulness into his tone. "Well in some cases symptoms may take years before they start to develop fully and people can still live a relatively long and productive life." There is a definite undertone to his words that Dino doesn't miss.
"But…?" He prompts, morbidly curious despite himself. The doctor hesitates, looking as though he is trying to find the right words to say. This is what he hates about doctors, they can never give a straight answer. They tiptoe around the issue, try to pretend that everything will be just fine even if they know that it won't. There must have been something in the Italian's expression that reflected this for he surprisingly cut straight to the chase.
"But I have never seen a case so active. It may only be a matter of months at most."
Dino's world falls apart.
"Did you want something?"
Dino doesn't realise that he has been staring until Hibari speaks. He shakes his head, giving one of his usual carefree smiles before going back to what he was doing before. Hibari rolls his eyes but doesn't press the issue and silence reigns once more.
He watches the sleek curve of the other's figure as he hunches over the desk, watches as strands of that silky hair fall into the other's eyes. Eyes which are always so alive and vibrant, burning with fierce, unyielding determination and passion. He studies how even now those muscles are tense and alert, ready to spring into action at the slightest provocation.
Everything about this man screams professional hitman; it is no surprise that Reborn scouted him out all those years ago, he had always had a knack of finding only the best. Those slender fingers currently wrapped around a pen are far more suited for gripping weapons or fitting around other people's throats. They are not gentle fingers that should be used to help Dino do something as simple as eating or getting dressed when he will no longer be able to do it himself. He stubbornly shakes his head at that. He will not be the one to clip this skylark's wings, not when he has his whole life ahead of him.
"I hear Kusakabe and some of the others are travelling to Italy soon to find out more about the boxes. Are you going with them?"
Hibari glances up briefly from what he is doing, looking at him from over the selection of box weapons that are lined up in front of him. His pen pauses over what he is writing and he can't help notice how he seems to be fiddling with it nervously. "They are not children, they do not need me to escort them."
That is strange, to say the least. For the last few months or so Hibari has been almost obsessed with wanting to find out answers about the boxes and so he would have thought that he would jump at the opportunity to go to Italy where it is rumoured to have all been started. What could be the problem? Suddenly a thought occurs to him.
"Are you staying here because of me?" Dino is never usually so blunt but he wants, needs, to know. He expects the usual harsh rebuttals, maybe even something thrown at his head, and so he is surprised when Hibari merely mumbles something unintelligible under his breath. There may have even been a blush colouring those pale cheeks. Dino laughs, pretending to be delighted, although on the inside he is deeply troubled.
He needs to speak to Tsuna.
"Are you sure about this?" The young Vongola boss looks grave, fingers steepled in front of him, and not for the first time Dino is struck by how mature Tsuna has become. It doesn't seem that long ago that he was a clumsy child still struggling to understand everything that went on in the adult world. Now though he is a part of that world, mentally hardened to all of the hardships that could be thrown at him. This though has confused him, Dino can tell. Nonetheless he sticks heavily to his decision.
"I am." Dino knows that Reborn is in the room as well but he is glad that his former tutor does not interfere. If he has an opinion about all of this he does not share it; this is not anything that concerns him and so he holds his tongue, leaving it to Tsuna to handle.
"He is one of Vongola's strongest guardians. You need him," Dino levels his gaze with Tsuna's own, trying to get across the strength of his conviction. "I refuse to be the one to hold him back."
Tsuna studies him intently for a long moment during which Dino forces himself not to fidget under or look away from the that intense, penetrating stare. It takes so long that Dino worries that he will refuse, that he'll call his plan stupid and want nothing to do with it. Finally though the Vongola boss sighs, closing his eyes and giving the briefest of nods.
"Alright, I will go along with it. I just hope you know what you are doing."
Dino gets to his feet, bowing respectfully. "Trust me, this is for the best."
"You're more clingy than normal," Hibari mumbles grumpily later that night. Despite his words and his tone though he does not move away and, if anything, might even have shifted closer.
"Am I?" Dino laughs at that even though he has his arms wrapped snugly around the other's torso, legs twined together and his head resting on top of that mess of black hair. He squeezes tighter, just because he can, and breathes in deeply the strong, heady scent that is distinctly Hibari. He gets an elbow in the gut for this but the other male does not move away and fairly soon he stills and his breathing evens out into the steady rhythm of sleep.
When he is certain that he is asleep the Italian moves back, propping himself up on his elbow so that he can look at the sleeping figure beside him, bathed in the light from the moon. He reaches out to trace his fingers down the smooth contours of the other's face, down his slender neck and down along his arms. So strong. So beautiful. He is a powerful, solitary creature, Dino has no right to selfishly chain him down. He needs to be free to stretch his wings and he cannot do that with a weight on his back.
His fingers tremble because of something that is not emotion and he squeezes his hands tightly into fists to make it stop, leaving behind little crescent shaped marks on his palm from his nails. He is making the right decision. Leaning forwards he presses his lips to the soft skin of the other's forehead.
Goodbye Kyoya. Fly free without me.
The next morning finds Dino in the library. There is a woman in front of him, a pretty little thing really, but he finds that he cannot concentrate on anything that she is saying. Instead his eyes constantly flicker over towards the clock situated just above the woman's head. 10:30. That was the time that he had told Tsuna to send Hibari up to the library, there is only a few minutes left. He takes a deep breath, trying to force himself to concentrate. She is still speaking, running her fingers down his arm and purring at him seductively, but Dino is ashamed to say that he cannot even remember her name. All that he notices is that her hair is black just like his precious Hibari's, although she doesn't feel half as good as the other man.
The woman presses herself against him and he lets her, lets her slowly start to unbutton his shirt and run her fingers down along his ribcage. He strains his ears, trying to listen for footsteps. Finally he hears them, stomping along the corridor; Hibari is clearly annoyed that he is being made to come here. For one brief second he almost loses his nerve but at the last moment steels himself and, when he hears the creak of the door as it opens, he kisses the woman currently draped all over him.
Dino fully expects what happens next and he is not disappointed. A flash of silver steel. Sharp pain exploding in his cheek. The metallic taste of blood on the inside of his mouth. He lands heavily on his back a few feet away, knocking over a stack of books and sending them scattering across the floor. The woman he was with gasps in shock, frozen in place and unable to move. He doesn't blame her. After all, Dino had said that they would be alone. How was she supposed to know that she would be caught in the middle of a conflict between a mighty mafia boss and an irate cloud guardian?
Kyoya…
He screws his eyes closed tightly as he hears footsteps approaching, bracing himself for the beating that will surely come. He knows that he won't fight back, cannot fight back. Every muscle in his body tenses up but there is nothing. Just an eerie amount of silence. He opens his eyes again. Hibari has slid his weapons away and is just looking down at his sprawled form as though he is nothing but dirt on his shoe.
"You are not worthy enough to dirty myself with." Hibari's voice is as cold as ice, the tone reserved for enemies or when he has to force himself to talk to Mukuro. It is one that he has not heard directed at himself for a long time. Although he knows that he shouldn't, that he shouldn't put himself through any more agony, Dino can't help but look up into his eyes. They are completely blank, lacking the brilliant, beautiful fire that they usually hold, giving away nothing that he is feeling. It is like someone has just drawn down the shutters, closing out the world and closing out Dino.
The look of utter scorn and distaste on the other's face hurts far more than any physical wound ever could. His heart twists painfully in his chest and for a moment it feels like he cannot breathe, like he is drowning in the weight of that piercing stare. Then, all of a sudden, it is over. The connection is broken as the cloud guardian turns on his heel and leaves without another word.
As that door slams shut, indicating the loss of his whole world, he draws his knees up to his chest and cries.
This is for the best, he tells himself, wishing he could believe it.
This is for the best…
Hibari leaves the next day. He packs only the essential items and slips out early in the morning, telling only Tsuna himself that he is leaving because although he is loathe to admit it he respects his boss and would not abandon him without even a word. The others probably won't even notice that he is gone until a few days time when they have one of their weekly meetings to discuss goings on.
Not Dino though. Dino notices. Dino watches him leave, pressing his forehead against the glass until his breath creates a misty fog on the pane between them. He yearns to reach out, to touch, to say something, anything but he doesn't.
Hibari doesn't even look back.
He is not sure how long he stays there, resting against the glass, staring out at everything and nothing all at once. He doesn't feel the chill of the glass against his skin anymore, doesn't think he can feel anything ever again. Even the weight of someone's hand on his shoulder is just that, a dead weight. He feels no warmth from the contact. It's almost like he is numb.
"Are you okay?" It's Tsuna. Of course it's Tsuna, Dino wasn't really expecting anyone else. If anyone were to know that he would be awake and watching it would be the Vongola Tenth, nothing escaped that uncanny intuition of his.
It's a stupid question really and Dino doesn't deign to answer, doesn't even turn around. He does pull back from the window slightly though, watching as the condensation on the glass slowly starts to fade again until it is back to normal.
"Look, you don't have to do this. Hibari's plane hasn't left yet, we could-" He cuts off Tsuna with a wave of his hand, turning around to face the other at last. Tsuna is able to get a good look at the young boss for the first time since the incident yesterday whereupon Dino had immediately holed himself up in his room. His face is pale, hair a mess as though he has run his fingers through it numerous times and there are dark circles underneath his eyes. He wonders how long the other has been awake and waiting by the window. All night by the looks of things.
"It's better that he hates me." At least now Hibari is free, free to do what he likes without the worry of anything holding him back. There will no longer be any doubt in the back of his mind, he will just continue to strive forwards and become the best that he could possibly be. Dino gives a smile that doesn't convince anyone, trying his best to look like he knows what he is doing.
"This is for the best."
It is a few months later before Dino even hears about Hibari again. It has been mostly peaceful over in Japan and so there has been no real need for the guardian to contact Tsuna except for brief phone calls every now and then to ensure him that he is still alive.
Tsuna never mentions Hibari when he comes to visit, nobody does. They all try to keep the mood light and cheery so they don't have to think about how Dino's skin is slowly growing more pale and sickly looking as each day passes. Or how there seems to be more medical equipment surrounding him each time they come to visit. Time is running out. They all know that but they never talk about it and cover it with forced joviality. Dino isn't sure whether to be grateful or frustrated at this.
A brief knock on the door causes him to look over just as Romario, his faithful right hand even during all of this, steps into the room. The man is carrying a bunch of brightly coloured flowers, the old ones in the vase on Dino's bedside were starting to wilt, and a newspaper stuffed under his arm. Dino nods in greeting because these days it's getting harder and harder to form words.
"I thought you'd like to see this." The older man places the newspaper, which is surprisingly written in Italian, down on his boss' lap, open to one of the pages, and points to an article. It is only small, it doesn't even take up a third of the page, but compared to this Dino finds the rest of the news insignificant.
…More and more people claim to have seen these strange creatures, animals that were seemingly experimented on until they underwent mutations. It is unclear what their purpose is but many speculate that it is for the fights that have been becoming more common since the set up of several powerful companies. Not much is known about this new organization that calls themselves The Foundation only that they seem to be working hard to get to the bottom of it. Their leader is seemingly an enigma although sources claim that he always travels with a small yellow bird so the fact that he cares for these animals is undeniable. Hopefully this news will soon mean that…
He lets the paper fall from his hands gently where it is picked up by Romario, tilting his head to the side. The curtains have been pulled from the window, by Romario or another one of his men earlier that morning, and he can see outside perfectly. There is a bird there, sitting on a tree branch right in his eye line so that they look at each almost face to face. It stays silhouetted in the light for a long moment before stretching out it's wings, letting out a shrill song and flying off towards the brilliant blue sky.
As he closes tired eyes, feeling the heavy weight that had settled on his chest lifting for the first time, Dino smiles.
This was for the best.
My first time writing proper angst! I'm quite proud of myself. Review, you know you want to.
