I'm sorry for the long and unannounced hiatus. A lot of shit happened, including hospitalization, moving back to Florida, starting college, and adopting a four week old abandoned kitten that is very needy and lives up to his name (Loki.)
But hopefully I am back for good now, and I will continue writing short fanfics and maybe indulge in multi-chapter ones if I am inspired enough.
"I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too, so we're really not that different, me and you."
~Colin Raye
Tsuna knew from the moment he first met Mukuro, that they were the same.
They were both people, with fears and emotions and dreams.
They may not have been the same, but the same passion fueled both of them.
The first time they met, Mukuro laughed. Sure, it wasn't the best time to laugh, considering that he was bleeding profusely and getting enjoyment out of other peoples' pain, but it was still true, genuine laughter.
He also had the ability to love. He loved Chrome first, then Ken and Chikusa. But he never felt romantic love until he fell in love with Tsuna.
He had always had hope; he had to have had it. In order to keep himself sane enough to escape from Vendicare, and later, the hope that Tsuna would forgive him for his crimes and love him the same way that Mukuro did.
He tried his hardest to change his ways, to allow himself to become a better person for Tsuna's sake. He could never escape his bloodstained past, but he hoped that he would be able to redeem himself through his actions now, in order to allow himself to feel like he actually deserved a spot at Tsuna's side.
He hurt as well, both physically and mentally. He took four bullets to the chest defending Tsuna, earning him Gokudera's respect in the process. But he also felt immense pain mentally, when Tsuna still never gave him the chance to prove himself a worthy lover in addition to being a friend and an ally.
He needed Tsuna's approval. He worked himself to the bone, taking extra missions in order to prove himself. He went out of his way to make everything perfect for Tsuna, but still, Tsuna only appreciated him as an ally.
He feared his bloodstained past was too much baggage for Tsuna to even consider him. He feared the death of his first love, which was inevitable, considering his position as the Boss of the largest Mafia Family in the world.
And even though he was a hardened Mafioso, Mukuro knew how to cry. He only cried twice while a Guardian of the Vongola. Once, when he was twenty four, and Tsuna had accepted him as his lover.
Those were tears of happiness.
And again, two years later, when Tsuna was being lowered into a coffin.
Those were tears of despair.
So Mukuro really wasn't a monster. He was simply another person, who had dealt with far too much for someone far too young.
You guys really think I was coming back with fluff? Y'all don't know me too well then ;)