Story #2—Storage Wars Texas Republic: A Tuesday on Aaronworld-79
Prologue: A Request to out West
You turn on your T.V.'s to find Dan Dotson in his home on his cell phone. It's a large 7-Bedroom mansion on the outskirts of Riverside, his town of birth (Laura is out grocery shopping). This conversation was filmed 4 days prior to auction day.
"Hey Walt, what can I do for you?" asked Dan just as he saw his call display.
Meanwhile on the outskirts of Dallas, Walt is in his backyard taking a long sip of a big glass of sweet tea.
"I heard what happened in Italy. Need a paid vacation extension? I could use a second auctioneer in Houston on Tuesday"
He was referring to a volcanic eruption in Mt. Vesuvius, it was the first eruption in that region in over 2000 years and the largest eruption of any kind in recorded history. Dan and Laura were on the plane heading home when it happened. They missed being 2 of over 3 million people dead by less than an hour. Walt had done a few auctions with Dan on the Pacific Coast over the years, So Dan had no problem returning the favour.
"Yeah I can drive to Houston. Sorry, but I don't want to be on an airplane again in light of what happened. And Laura has things to do here so I'll be travelling alone."
Walt nodded in sympathy as though this were an in-person chat and not a phone call.
"I don't blame you, buddy. See you in a couple of days?"
"OK, sounds good. Bye now." said Dan in a panic as a pot was beginning to boil in the kitchen.
They both hung up, relieved that the other was such a good friend.
"When storage units are abandoned, in the Republic of Texas. The treasures within are put up for Auction."
We see a montage of people on the show set to "Money owns this town." starting with Ricky "The Ranger"
"You never know what you're gonna get..."
Continuing with David, "The BriTexan"
"There's no school like the old school."
Carrying on with Rudy "The RudeDog"
"I try to keep a low profile."
We cut to shots of each of the bidders making their signature calls (Ricky making his overreaching "Yeah", Rudy making a whistle bid and David K. Calmly saying "Yes Walter" while making an odd gesture with his hands), and we wrap the opening credits with Walt shouting "It's Sold."
Chapter 1: Travelling through
Dan and Walt are riding to the auction together in Walt's car. It's a 2013 Cadillac Escalade that he had imported from the country bordering just to the east, the United States of America. There's a small camera filming the entire interior of the vehicle located on the front dashboard. Out of an agreement, they choose not to talk about why Dan is really there as it would put a damper on the crossover between 2 different Storage Wars shows (One show for the Pacific end of the Republic of Texas for Dan, and 1 for the Gulf of Mexico end for Walt). Dan looks directly at the camera, as Walt is trying to pay attention to the morning traffic as he's driving.
"We're on our way to Uncle Bob's Self-Storage in Houston, Texas. It's my first time here out west on business but Walt's told me some great things about this place over the last 18 years that we've known each other."
Walt tips his hat at the camera just before the focus shifts to Rudy Castro. He's riding a 2004 Harley-Davidson Electra Glide Ultra Classic with a camera pointed up at his face mounted on the midpoint of the handle bars. This is his first time riding this bike to an auction filmed by the A&E network, and he's partly doing so to test a helmet that they had custom made for him. Mostly black all around, but with images of barking dogs of various breeds scattered around the helmet itself and a most interesting piece of engineering: A Bluetooth earpiece and microphone (wirelessly connected to the camera) as an extension on the right side of the helmet. Hopefully, this will have Rudy be able to ride his bike to TV days and be able to talk to the camera simultaneously in a practical manner (if Bluetooth noise cancellation did its' job, of course).
"On my way to Uncle Bob's. Actually I shouldn't even going to these right now because of a score that I had last week is taking up my entire 2,000 square foot basement."
We flash back to Rudy shouting "JACKPOT!" followed by a voice over of him saying "The entire contents of this locker were 3 dozen garbage bags and the complete master film, video tape and soundboards from a little stadium called...The Summit. It was demolished a couple of years ago so recovering so many concerts is genuinely heartwarming for me as this is a piece of music history. And the bands who played these concerts paying me for their own shows isn't too bad either. Jimmy Page is flying out here next week." as he goes through the tapes very gently to avoid damaging them.
Rudy (in the present) continues talking (hoping that A&E doesn't need to edit out traffic noise) "So right now, I'm looking for small stuff and small lockers. Particularly if I know I can sell it quickly." He accelerates to avoid being cut off just as we change focus to a Silver H3 Hummer, then a quick cut to David K.
"Most of my requests for items have come from the elderly, and nerds. So logically, I need Collectibles and Antiques...FAST! You know, Storage Wars is a lot like Dungeons and Dragons: 1 great quest leads to experience and gold."
David K. Chuckles a bit and then the image morphs to Ricky, who is driving alone in his truck, a Green F-350 with a large trailer attached to the rear.
"There's a large gap between estate sales this month so I need volume and lots of it. If the larger units up for sale aren't at least half full, I drove to Houston from Lampasas for nothing."
Dan and Walt arrive at Uncle Bob's Self Storage before the crowd begins to form. Walt smiles at the kid behind the counter. A College Kid named Anthony who Walt knows is just here for the summer before he goes back to Texas A&M to finish his degree in Anthropology. Of course, with his 6 "3' 245 lb. Frame, having a football scholarship helps too.
"Hi Anthony, This is Dan, he's cleared to work this part of the Texas Republic, right?"
Dan gives him a stern look, Walt and Anthony start laughing as they just pranked him.
"Seriously though, how many units do we have?" asked Walt as soon as the laughing died down.
Anthony looks straight down at the paperwork in front of him and replies "Just 3 today."
Walt then looks at Dan, who's feeling a bit let down with such few lockers and says "You can auction off the 1st and last ones. I'll take the one in between."
Dan nods silently in agreement. Anthony hands them a map of the locker's locations and an electric grinder to cut the locks. They head outside to find Ricky, Rudy, David and maybe a dozen others. The thunder that sounded told Walt why his crowd was light that day. But most of his attention was drawn to the 3-way trash talk developing:
"So with your concert score last week, I'll be bidding you up harder than usual." opened David K.
"Try me, no monkey you find will ever be worth the bangers and mash I drop on ya." answered Rudy.
"Drop all the Mash you want on me, goes great with the Gravy train." added Ricky.
"OK folks listen up, forecast calls for a Thunderstorm so let's get through this sale quickly. We're going to open the locker, you're going to get 5 minutes to inspect the locker. There will be no touching the contents of the locker or going inside the locker. This is a Cash only sale. There will be no dash for cash and we will be dealing with Texas Dollars only, no U.S. Dollars, understand?"
The crowd unanimously replies: "YES SIR!"
"Then Ham'r up..." said Walt, hoping Dan would finish it off.
"...and LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GO!" added Dan, not missing a beat.
Chapter 2: A Morning Rush
With the sparks having flown (both from the grinder and the bidders), Walt threw up the door on locker #1. It was a 10×30 exterior unit that was roughly 3/4 full. As with any auction, different buyers see different things:
"I shouldn't even be looking at this one right now. Way too much volume for me." thought Rudy to himself, ever the stoic RudeDog.
"OK, I see a Vase in the back of the locker that might be worth a few dollars. I'll bid people up, and buy 1 of the later lockers when their wallets are lighter." mumbled David K.
Ricky on the other hand, focused more attention on the right side of the locker. As opposed to the others, who were looking more to the left.
"The large wooden poles tell me there's at least 1, maybe 2 complete beds and if my eyes serve me, an Oak dining table is in there as well. I'm all-in."
After the last of the onlookers had finished, Walt grinned, turned to the left and announced, "Mr. Dotson, you may proceed."
Dan cleared his throat and began with his speed "500 T-Dollars, do I hear T500?"
David K. raised his hand with a polite "Yes Daniel." (both were glad that he didn't say Walter by mistake)
"Thank you, do I hear 600 T-Dollars?"
An older woman dressed like a cowgirl shouted, "Yyyyyesssss Sir"
Ricky wanted to make a statement by shouting "1,000 T-Dollars!"
David K. gave Ricky a smirk of condescension, "1,500"
"ALRIGHT, DO I HEAR T2000"
Rudy had gotten even less interested once the bidding got jumped up, as did the older woman from 10 seconds ago. In fact, both of them looked around to source where the next bid had come from while simultaneously walking away from the bidding in order to avoid making a bid by accident. Ricky very quickly tapped his nose with his left index finger so that no one could see him.
"2,000 T-Dollars, do I hear T2,100?" asked Dan.
"Yes Daniel." replied David K.
"2,100 going once, going twice..."
Ricky tapped his nose with his left index finger again.
"2,100. Do I hear 2,200?"
"Yes Daniel." replied David K.
"2,200 going once, going twice..."
Ricky tapped his nose again.
"2,300. Do I hear 24?" asked Dan.
"No Daniel."
"2,300 going once, going twice."
David K. Thinks silently "Who has the bid?"
"And it's SOLD! To Ricky Smith for T2,300. Onto locker #2." declared Dan as he and Ricky shook hands. Ricky felt OK with his bidding, thinking "Cost me a few T-Dollars more than I wanted but, what the hell?"
Walt looked down at his clipboard as Dan was grinding away the lock on #2.
"OK folks, we got a 10×15 exterior unit up for grabs." he shouted as Dan threw up the door. It was sparsely filled with what was probably the possessions of a family with a teenage son. Rudy saw 2 boxes labelled "Comic Books" which he kept as close to the vest of the possible.
"Might be worth it if I can get it cheap." whispered Rudy to the camera.
David K. Also notices the boxes: "Now that is collectible. Silver age or earlier and they're antique too. I'm getting this one."
Ricky only looked inside the room as a formality: "Nowhere near the volume I want. Even with the locker I already have."
Dan made a gesture with his right hand to invite Walt to proceed. Walt nodded and began with his speed "500 T-Dollars, do I hear T500?"
David K. raised his hand with a polite "Yes Walter."
"Thank you, do I hear 600 T-Dollars?"
Rudy made his signature whistle bid, while thinking "One bid is enough. The comics are too much of a gamble if this goes any higher"
David K. Wasn't deterred, "700 T-Dollars Walter!"
Walt could sense the small crowd's interest was declining, "700 going once...going twice...IT'S SOLD TO DAVID K. FOR 700 T-DOLLARS!"
David K. Takes a slight bow before putting on his lock. "I got that one cheap. Maybe I'll buy the last one too."
"Last locker of the day folks. It's a 5×5 interior unit." announced Dan, Walt plugged in the grinder to a nearby outlet and began cutting. After about 20 seconds, the lock was broken and Walt threw up the door. Everyone noticed the boxes labelled "Silverware" and "China", but next to nothing else of note (not even rat feces).
Rudy cracked a smile, saying nothing. This was the perfect locker for him, small but likely with quality.
David K. And Ricky noticed Rudy smiling, with both of them thinking "Steal 1 from the RudeDog or bid him up trying."
After the last of the onlookers had finished, Walt grinned, turned to the right and announced, "Mr. Dotson, you may proceed again."
Dan cleared his throat and began with his speed "500 T-Dollars, do I hear T500?"
David K. raised his hand with a polite "Yes Daniel."
"Thank you, do I hear 600 T-Dollars?"
Ricky shouted with his trademark, "YEAH!"
Rudy made the whistle bid while holding up all 10 fingers, signalling a bid of 1,000 Texas Dollars.
David K. gave Rudy a smirk, "T1,100"
"T1,200" spoke Rudy.
Ricky and David nodded at each other, their point was made.
"T1,200 going once, going twice, SOLD! To the RudeDog for 1,200 Texas Dollars."
Rudy nodded, looking and feeling a bit nervous. "Did I just get bid up?" he thought to himself.
"That concludes today's auction, Ham'r Down..." announced Walt.
"...And don't forget to pay the ringleader." added Dan.
David K., Ricky and Rudy took out their wallets, happy to spend their Sepia and Beige Texas Dollars on their purchases. Sam Houston on the Thousands, Davy Crockett on the Hundreds.
Chapter 3: Sifting through the loot
"I got the cheapest locker of the day for 700 Texas Dollars. Now let's see if I'll be singing the Hymn of the Texas Republic"
David opens his locker 3 hours after he purchased it (between settling his account and getting a second truck to come out from his business to help him load it up, this is a standard amount of time for him). The sun was shining in a different direction than earlier in the day...
...straight onto a lockbox.
"How did I not see that? How did everyone miss that?" he asked out loud as he grabbed it. It was beige, the size of a briefcase and from what David K. Remembered from past lockers, easy to open without a key if you threw it on the ground at the right corner.
"1...2...3!"
He smashed the lockbox open to perfection, finding only 2 items in it, both of which interested him. "These are 2 almost brand new children's RolTex watches. I can sell these to a family for 500 Texas Dollars each so, I'm already in the black for this room. Moving on!"
He switched his attention over to 2 garbage bags. The smell inside inside each one lead him to conclude "Dirty Clothes, probably beyond washing. Maybe I should just check out the Comic Books. You can start loading everything else. I don't think I need to single out much more."
The driver of the truck (a tall, skinny teenager named Sunny) nodded and began loading the truck while David flipped through the Comic Book boxes: "These are recent issues of your common superheroes. Batman, Superman and such. They're worth a few dollars because they're still sealed but WHOA! The conquest of the republic 5-Volume set! I never thought I would see this in my lifetime. I'll be checking these ones out real quick."
Ricky backed up his truck and trailer to the locker to ensure the least amount of lifting possible (as he was on his own). "I spent 2300 Texas Dollars on this locker. If that Vase is older than I am, I'm in the money."
He opened the 10×30 and smiled as he began taking everything out "I like making my money T400 at a time. That Oak Dining Table with 6 Oak Chairs is 400 dollars (and I even like the light staining job done on it)". He then took a look inside the Vase and said "OK, it was made in the 70's but I recognize the artist as M. Prigoff and his stuff is top end so I can sell this in my warehouse for 400 without any problems." Ricky then headed for the bed posts he had seen earlier in the day "OK, I do in fact have 8 posts along with the 2 frames and headboards so I can get 400 for each 1 of these, no problem."
After Ricky finished loading the bed parts, he was delighted to see that other large items not easily seen before were now visible. "TWO black leather couches. 400 each after I dust them off." What he saw next made him shake his head in disgust "I need new curtain rods in my house, and all 3 of these sets are broken."
An hour had passed (although the network edited it to make it look like only a few seconds passed at most) and Ricky was down to his last shoebox. He was a little ahead moneywise but needed something to put him over the top: "Whoa, TFL cards!" (TFL being the Texas Football League), Ricky continued "These were obviously owned by someone who knew how to take care of their cards. They're even in the plastic card sleeves that need to be screwed together in order to keep air from damaging them. I watch TFL as often as I can and most of these are unfortunately common cards of players that aren't noteworthy. These 6 however, need to be taken to someone right away. And I know just the commentator to take it to..."
Ricky closed the locker, got in his truck and drove off without letting the viewers in on who he was thinking about.
Rudy had actually driven back to Irving (250 miles or about 4 hours away) to get his truck after settling his account with the storage office. An all-black Ford F150 from 2011, he backed in exactly as Ricky had done earlier. He had to walk back and forth from the locker to the cab of the truck as it was an interior unit, but it wasn't going to take long due to how empty it was. "I paid 1200 for this little unit and frankly, I'll be happy to break even on this one."
He went straight for the 2 boxes labelled "Silverware" and needed a moment to remember what constituted a full set from past lockers. "OK, I can cannibalize these 2 incomplete sets into 1 complete set with about half a dozen extra pieces. Based on today's silver prices, I can get 1200 Texas Dollars for the lot and someone's saving some money on that deal so, at least I'm even."
Rudy took a bandana out of his jeans pocket and began to wipe his forehead. He knew that he just dodged a bullet representing the loss that no one in this business wants to experience. He pressed on, knowing that it was another 4 hour ride home, he turned to the China boxes. Opening each one and taking a minute to stare at each one, he concluded, "2 Royal Doulton sets of dinnerware, 4 sets smashed. I can still get 1200 for the 2 good sets, Royal Doulton is hard to get here."
Rudy went through the rest of his locker in under 20 minutes, nothing was of note until "Whoa, 4 factory sealed boxes of cigars. I know just who to take these to."
He quickly got in his truck and drove into the sunset, a quintessential western setting if ever there was one. Except that thunder was heard in the distance and it began pouring rain.
Chapter 4: Appraisals deep in the heart of Texas
"I'm meeting the appraiser at Legends of the Games, the top sports memorabilia store in Houston. The 6 cards that caught my eye were actually Rookie Cards of the same player, and who better to appraise than that player himself. Ladies and Gentlemen, Texas Broadcasting Corporation commentator and TFL hall of famer, TROY AIKMAN!"
Troy Aikman approached Ricky Smith wearing his trademark grey 2-piece suit, blue collared shirt and a red, white and blue tie that matched the Texas Republic flag. This was a handshake between a man with a large case of hero worship, and a man who had been looking forward to working with Storage Wars for some time.
"Honour to meet you sir." said Ricky (in fairness, it was probably the only thing that could escape his mouth at the time).
"The honour is mine, love the show and you're my favourite on it." replied Troy Aikman.
"I believe you've seen a few of these before in your day." said Ricky as he put all 6 Troy Aikman Rookie Cards on top of a glass display case.
Troy nodded as he looked for the right words "Indeed I have, I was drafted to the Dallas Cowboys from the Texas Sooners college football program. Actually, the United States of America tried to bribe me to join the New York Mets in baseball straight out of High School but my parents wanted me to have a degree. I'm a 6-time pro bowler and won 4 super bowl titles with the Cowboys, so I have no regrets there. Would make a great alternate history story though, me playing baseball."
"And I know a guy in Canada who could write it." replied Ricky.
Troy continued "Anyways, these cards have steadily gone up in value since the first Super Bowl I won in 1993. For those of you watching this show who don't watch football, the Super Bowl is the best team in the Texas Football League taking on the best team in the American Football League. We had the venue that year in Pasadena, and we beat the Buffalo Bills 52-17. All 4 of the Super Bowls the Cowboys won during time I was their Quarterback were nice but that 1 was the most special, as it was my first. I digress, the conditions of these cards do vary a fair bit, but if you're willing to take them out of their sleeves and have a pen ready for me, I can sign all 6 which should altogether fetch you...about 1,100 Texas Dollars."
"Somebody get me a screwdriver so that I can take these sleeves apart." shouted Ricky. They shook hands again.
"I've been wanting on this show since it started airing." added Troy.
"I'm on my way to a cigar shop called Little Dominica in Irving to meet Luis, the owner and part-time writer for Cigar Afficionado magazine. He's going to tell me if my profit is packed tight or if it's...up in smoke."
"You must be Rudy Castro." offered Luis as he came out to greet him.
"I am, pleasure to meet you. Would you mind holding the door for me?" asked Rudy, who was carrying all 4 boxes stacked on top of each other.
"Certainly." Luis held open the door and entered the shop behind him. Saloon brown was definitely the main colour of the front showroom, and the smell were conflicting Cigars from all over the world. Rudy set down the 4 boxes on a mid-century coffee table, which was pre-dominantly black and red and was frankly, somewhat out of place in this shop. Luis stared at the boxes for a moment before he began talking:
"OK, these are Havana Dominica cigars from 2007. As you may know, when America's CIA assassinated Fidel Castro..."
Rudy chimed in on reflex, having been asked a question all of his life that may be asked again now "...No, I'm not related to him."
Luis laughed and continued "There were a lot of riots and power struggles as to who would take over the country. When America refused to send in peacekeeping troops to help transition Cuba to a democratic government, nearly everyone fled the country, fearing a major civil war. The fishermen generally went to Haiti, the businessmen went to Miami, the tobacco industry went to the Dominican Republic. These 4 boxes are some the first Cigars made by Cubans in the Dominican, hence the name of the company."
Rudy grew more confused with each word, finally asking Luis "Why didn't I find Cigar cutters, or lighters or even a humidor inside the locker I bought?"
Luis gave it some serious thought before finally answering "If I were to guess, I think the owner of the locker didn't smoke these cigars himself but kept boxes around to give off as gifts because he did know many others who did smoke them who would have all of that stuff already in their homes. But these are great Cigars that are still sealed so unless the locker was extremely dry for an extended period of time, they're still perfectly great to smoke."
Rudy shook his head no (if anything, the locker had some moisture problems) and smelled an opportunity to lighten his load a little before the 4-hour journey home "Want to buy them?"
Luis nodded "Yes I do sir, I'll even give you market value because my being on the show will boost my sales anyway. 1200 for the lot!"
Rudy smiled as he stuck out his hand, "Sold! Thank you very much!"
Luis shook it in kind, "My pleasure."
Rudy wrapped up his views on his locker very quickly "And that is how you triple your money on a small unit."
"I'm heading to Bedrock City Comic Co. Right here in Houston. I hope these comics bring in enough money to make me scream Yabba Dabba Doo"
He pulled his Hummer to the closest parking space to the shop (that wasn't a handicapped space, that is). There was a young Asian woman standing outside ready to greet him. He grabbed the comic books from the front passenger seat and headed inside.
"I'm Angela, are you David K.?"
"Indeed I am."
They quickly headed inside to what was a large warehouse converted to be a comic book store. There was an indoor cafeteria to the left of the front door (complete with tables and chairs to host Magic: The Gathering players, or any other type of Collectible Card Game players for that matter), a series of bookshelves to the right that mostly held Manga and Graphic novels. They headed to the store counter in the back, and David K. Places the entire 5-Volume set of "Conquest of the Republic" a couple of feet to the right of the cash register.
Angela's jaw drops in shock. "Wow, you weren't kidding. The only other time I've ever seen all 5 issues together was at the Republic of Texas History Museum in San Antonio."
David K (not being originally from the republic) asked "What was so special about these?"
Angela cleared her throat, preparing for a long speech "There was a general feeling of indifference regarding our Republic's history in the 1980's (some people even wanted the republic to join America). Republic president Ronald Reagan was coming up on the 150 year anniversary of us declining statehood and wanted to inform the generation of young people in school as to where we came from. He actually visited with Stan Lee of Marvel Comics and proposed a historically accurate re-telling of events that was visually appealing. Stan Lee suggested a 5-Volume comic book set taking place during the 10 years that preceded that fateful day back in 1836. Now, there were actually 2 different production runs of these: 1 for schools with the letters on the front cover written in bright red, the other had the letters written in black and were sold in stores like this one so that older comic book fans and collectors could buy these without having to steal from a school."
The cameraman then zoomed in on the comic books while Angela continued "These are in red, so these would've been in a history or social studies classroom and are in near perfect shape despite that. It's almost as if a teacher hid these issues and used another set for teaching. Normally when I see individual issues they're in bad shape from years of schoolyard abuse."
David K. Was getting a bit antsy, "So Angela, how how much are these worth?"
Angela took another glance at the 5 issues and replied "1800 at auction."
We catch David K. Doing a little jig in celebration as the announcer from the show's opening returns:
"The winner in Houston was Rudy Castro, who with the smallest room made a profit of 2400 Texas Dollars. Second place was David K. Who made 2100 Texas Dollars mostly in school comic books. Third place was Ricky Smith, whose furniture netted him a tidy 1200 dollar profit, and as for Dan and Walt..."
Epilogue: Recounting the first meeting
Dan and Walt we're ending their business day with a drink in a saloon called Doyle's, when Dan felt a need to express his gratitude.
"Thanks for getting me away from home, that eruption in Italy was scary."
Walt smiled, only countering with "Any time, Dan. Do you remember how we first met?"
Dan laughed a bit before answering "Oh how could I forget. We were in that crowd in San Francisco back in '96. Billy the Kid refused to shoot that maverick pacifist because he was unarmed. The Sheriff arrested that businessman who killed that defender of some small computer company. It was life-changing though, the amount of public negotiating across the whole republic of Texas went down starting that day. Especially since that pacifist and those 3 friends of his vanished. What was his name again?
Walt finished his drink and just mumbled "Mallory, His name was Quinn Mallory!"