So Many Wonders, So Little Time

by QuestionSeeker

The tale of a youth as he finds himself in a strange and unusual world and his endeavors to return to the home and family he lost. However, despite his resistance against his new surroundings, he will soon learn to realize that this world has more to offer than he ever thought possible that will change not only his mind, but send him on a journey that will change his destiny.

1. The Day My Life Ended

You never really know what speed life is gonna come at you until it starts knocking at your front door, unannounced and uninvited. Some days it will crawl to the slow and sluggish pace of the rat race, practically begging for something to happen. Other times, it moves faster than a comet shooting across the stars, almost overjoyed at the thought of a do-nothing day. For me, I think the latter would have accurately described my situation, if I knew what the hell my situation was! All I know is I'm waking up in a heart-shaped bed, I'm wearing nothing except a hidden blade gauntlet and a bridal veil, my head is spinning, a blue 1960's British police box is sitting in the corner of the room, a bottle of cheap champagne is slowly draining out onto the floor, a rabbit is near a doorway starring daggers at me, the place smelled like sweat, tears, and pheromones, but surprisingly, nothing shocked me more than the figure slowly stirring next to me.

Normally I would be questioning why there was a random girl in my bed (as unlike a guy as it was) but this one just caused me to stare speechlessly as she slowly rose. Her skin was a creamy white as it was struck by the early rays of the sun, while her strawberry-pink hair shimmered at she drew it from her closed eyes. She brought her arms over her head and slowly started to lean back and stretch, drawing my eyes to her petite but healthy frame, and more particularly her...erm, great tracks of land. I was slowly admiring her smooth backside when I saw something that made me experience fear, extreme joy, confusion, and a strange sense of guilt for every beastiality participant, furry, and most especially, clopper, I have ever judged. Appearing on each side of her hips was a tattoo of three tiny pink-winged butterflies, and along her back were two large, feathery yellow appendages that shuddered a bit as they were being flapped. Of course, at this point I was only calling them tattoos for my own sake, knowing full well what they were really called. Having completed her quick exercise, she finally opened her eyes, confirming my suspicions the instant her deep, endless aqua-blue irises connected with my blood red ones. For a second she stared at me blankly, her eyes glossed over from sleep, but then they became frighteningly bright and cheerful to see me. Before I could do anything else, she quickly pulled me into an embrace as our bodies slowly pushed together. I tried moving, I tried talking, I tried whistling, coughing, dancing the Macarena, but my body just quit on me, unwilling to separate from the arms around my neck and large, soft bosom pressed against my chest. She then brought her lips to my ear and sweetly whispered almost inaudibly, "Good morning honey."

She pulled back slightly, just enough for me to see an extremely sultry and lust-filled smile as well as a crimson blush spread across her cheeks. And then she pulled me close and did something that I, a seventeen-year-old, drug-and-alcohol free virgin, who hasn't even as much as honestly held hands romantically with a girl, could never anticipate. Her lips connected with mine and she slowly proceeded to explore the inside of my mouth with her tongue, kissing me like there was no tomorrow. Needless to say that my eyes just bulged to the size of dinner plates while she closed hers in pleasure. Eventually, we disconnected, leaving a small strand of saliva connecting our tongues together. It was at that moment that I finally decided to pass out, both from shock and over-stimulation. As I slowly began to slip into unconsciousness, only one thought came to mind: I just cradled, kissed, and possibly had consummated with the humanized version of the mare of my dreams, and on top of it, we were apparently Married!? I always thought that ponies would be the death of me, ever since that first fateful day I was forced to watch the one show I would never think to watch willingly, I just didn't think it would be this way. Something was definitely wrong here. But I'm getting ahead of myself. My name is Ask, and this is my story of space-time travel, corrupt justice systems, life or death decisions, reality bending shenanigans, and a doomed love between me and the Equestrian I adored...

---

Like I said, I was getting ahead of myself, so let me start back at the beginning. It all started like any other day for me: with an explosion.

As the smoke started to clear from the room, I began to pull myself off the floor with a groan, careful not to cut myself on the broken glass that now dotted my apartment floor. I carefully removed my copper lab goggles, leaving a single imprint of clean nutmeg skin around my eyes as the rest of my face was covered in soot and gunpowder. Now, you would think after repeatedly being hit by steam, slammed against walls by recoil, and dodging shrapnel I would be discouraged from going anywhere near my lab, right? Well, like my friends always say, "Never make a bet against Ask being me dangerously stupid."

No, I never lost my drive to experiment despite every failure my experiments brought. In fact, THIS explosion was actually the best thing that could have happened to me! I quickly jumped to my work bench, letting myself laugh hysterically as I grabbed my charred pencil from behind my ear and began to write out my results. "Better! No fire this time! Although, the smell is new... Ah, well! Now if I just increase the amount of potassium, this baby will be ready to- GAAHHHH!"

My thoughts were quickly scattered as a black Gucci boot connected with my face, leaving a rather unflattering imprint on my already singed skin. I quickly pulled the boot off my face to stare up at my attacker, her arms crossed and forehead throbbing with annoyance. "WHAT'S YOU'RE DEAL TRISHA?! I ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH COLLATERAL DAMAGE FOR ONE DAY!" I barked at my assailant.

"DON'T YOU START WITH ME ASK, I HAVE ENOUGH ON MY PLATE WITH MY DEADLINE WITHOUT ADDING ON YOU DESTROYING THE APARTMENT WITH YOUR HAIR-BRAINED TESTS! AND IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO GET HURT AGAIN, YOU WOULDN'T CONSIDER ANOTHER RUN OF THAT BLASTED MACHINE!" she shrieked back.

My ears started turning red as I turned my head away from her. "At least my machine is interesting, unlike your poor excuse for art you call mang-AHHHH!" I muttered as I found my ears being pulled in attempt rip them off.

Trisha cackled evilly as she saw me whine in pain, "I'm sorry Ask, what was that about my manga illustrations looking like they were drawn by a pea-brained four-year-old?"

"I didn't say anything like that! Let go already Trish, you know my ears are sensitive!" I pleaded.

"Fine," she reluctantly agreed, and proceeded to drop my head onto the ground with a loud and painful thud.

"Well," I groaned as she began to leave the lab, "at least she didn't sit on me again with her big bubble... flabby... butt...?" A tip for fellow techbugs, wait until after your stronger female flat-mate you can't fight back leaves before making comments about her weight and sensitive areas, otherwise they will stare at you with murder in their eyes, and proceed to crack your spine with said weight and area. And now you see my almost daily ritual with my violent, hot-headed mangaka flat-mate, Trisha Kane.

---

"Faust help me, for I may one day kill this good-for-nothing prat!" Trisha exclaimed as she finally decided that my face had suffered enough of her butt for one day (no innuendo intended).

"Really? You're praying to a cartoonist now?" I asked with an annoyed expression and a brow cocked upwards as I tried to realign my vertebrae. "Trish, I know you like that show, as incomprehensible as it is, but do you have to make it painfully obvious?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about. I show my devotion as normally and subtly as anyone else," she said with her nose curled upwards and eyes closed.

"Really? Then explain the pony mug."

"It's just one cup and it doesn't stand out!"

"All the pony DVD's?"

"I want to be able to watch them whenever I want."

"All the plush dolls and figurines that fill up my closet?"

"I like novelty toys to practice brushing hair on and cuddle up to sleep with?"

"The giant fan-painted portrait of the Fausticomb or whatever you shelled out four grand for?"

"Fausticorn! And it is pleasing to the eye and inspires my drawing!"

"...the Twilight Sparkle panties and Fluttershy bras?"

Have you ever been put into a seismic toss before? Let me tell you, it hurts like Tartarus!

---

"I...I... This may be the...the end for me s-Sarge..." I moaned with what little life I had left.

"No, no, no! We're supposed to make out of this alive together! We promised that we would make it out and prove that we could win despite the obvious signs of danger and countless warnings from absolute strangers!" cried my Sergeant in his high pitched voice through the tears. "Rrrrrrrrgh, on your feet soldier! No one is going down in my platoon, I made a promise to see my fellow comrades through our invasion, and I won't lose them!" he said with his small green webbed fist clenched as his eyes burned with determination.

"B-but you sacrificed Dororo to the enemy for Keronian junk food...," I said cracking his ego a smidge, "and you used Corporal Giroro as a human shield for when we passed through the Neroro bog...," his ego cracked a bit more, "and you kinda tricked Private Tamama to fend for himself by saying that it was vital to the mission that he act as bait for the enemy..." finally breaking his cool guy shell, leaving little more than the ghost of the once proud Sergeant Amphibian.

Suddenly, a dark, looming shadow with bright red eyes appeared behind us, extending two dark claws forward. The Sergeant, fearing for his life with tears in his eyes quickly said, "YAHHHHHH! Uh-uh-uh D-don't take me, take my simple private! He wasn't expected to survive the mission anyway!"

"What?!" I screamed as I was dragged away by my neck.

"Your sacrifice will forever be remembered private! The Keronians will sing ballads of you when we have conquered Pekopon!" Cried the Sergeant.

"Damn you! DAMN YOU KEROROOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!"

---

"Quit whining already, you know the rules, annoy me and you watch it with me, and quit talking to the stuffed frog!" Triaha explained as she threw me hog-tied into a sitting position on the couch.

"Betrayed by my own Sergeant, he gets a day in the hole of excruciating pain when I get back..." I muttered.

"Shut up about the frog, because now," Trish said, throwing dozens of stuffed plushies onto me, grabbing a bowl of cereal, and clicking the remote, "IT'S PONY-TIME!" she squeed as the My Little Pony opening credits started up.

That's right, I live with a pegasister, a violent pegasister, a violent pegasister that makes me watch the show buried in pony plush toys as torture. As you might have guessed, I'm not exactly a brony. In fact, I honestly hated the show. I didn't care what reason you gave me. I don't care about the animation, I don't care about the story, and I didn't care about the freaky personalities of the techni-candy color horses. Yes, horses. I adapted that as an insult because of the show! It's not that I am close minded about that type of media, I mean heck, I've done my own fair share of strange things. It's just, I find the whole thing pointless. There is nothing practical about it. My world doesn't work off of magic, people here don't fly, we don't burst into song at the drop of a hat, and the characters are so impractical in themselves.

A workaholic southern hick farmer who works a huge orchard by hand, a fashionista with a prissy accent and uptight and dramatic facade that willingly gives her designs away for free, a pretentious egotistical athlete who thinks about nothing but herself and her dreams to join a team that if she wanted to join so badly she could have done so by now, a crazy schizophrenic attention deficit party addict that gives me headaches by bending the laws of physics in her world and by the fact that she hasn't had strokes from the amount of sugar she consumes, a bookworm who claims to be seriously studying phenomena for a monarch that fails to understand the basic concepts of intimacy to the point of breaking down emotionally when she was tardy with an assignment and making a mockery of real science, and, I think worst of all, there's Fluttershy. Yes I know their names, heck, I know every character's name, Trisha made it a point that I knew. She just is the one that annoyed me to no end. She is completely tied down to the bare rustics of nature, she trusts wild animals more than regular people/ponies, she is afraid to fly which is her basic instinct as a Pegasus, she is afraid of dragons, she is afraid of slight sudden noises, she is afraid of any touch, she is afraid of her own shadow, she is afraid, she is afraid, she is afraid, She Is Afraid, She Is Afraid, SHE. IS. AFRAID! And her voice is just... well... I will admit that annoys me for... other reasons... but it still annoys me! Fluttershy is designed as a character who is extremely shy and fearful, which is in direct contrast to my personality. Fear stunts growth and exploration. Without the will to move past fear, we could never take the risks needed to advance our world. Ben Franklin would have never have strung up his kite to discover electricity, Penicillin wouldn't have been patented by Pasteur, Steve Jobs would have never created the Macintosh computer and other innovative devices (such as the iPhone I am using to record my entries). I live without fear, refusing to miss out on what the universe has to offer just because I choose not to take the risk, just like my hero, The Doctor.

Ah, the ancient time-traveling madman with a box, now he is someone worthy of Trisha's obsession. The sole-surviving time lord has travelled beyond the the greatest reaches of time and space and has seen all the glory and horror that life has to offer. He has fought carnivorous monsters, tangled with the great evils of history, rewritten the very foundries of humanity's future and past, experienced the joys and pains that come with relationships of romance and friendship, suffers the guilt of bringing death to a number of races (including his own), touched and changed so many lives just by his presence, and is able to cause armies to run in fear by the simple mention of his title, while his name, the name that can tear the very fabric of time and space if it is ever revealed, burns across reality, hidden within the stars themselves. The sad, brilliant, unsung hero, who has seen more than any man should ever see in a lifetime, continues to run, never looking back and never growing weary as his TARDIS takes him where he is needed in the universe. I know he is fictional, but I still am convinced of this: ideas are extremely powerful things that can make strange and magnificent things happen, and because of that, if millions of people believe and hold that somewhere out there across great deep space, someone is out there watching over us, offering only kindness despite the extensive pain and wonder they have lived, then that thought may one day be made a reality. And if there does exist such a wondrous person, I only wish that I could look into their eyes, the eyes that reflect eons of wonders and terrors, and be blinded by what they have to show me.

As fun as fantasizing a meeting with the Doctor was, I was still being punished. "Eyes forward! If you can't recite the episode line by line by the time it's over, I wring your neck," Trisha had exclaimed as she peeled my eyes back with her fingers and directed them towards our television. God, I hated this. The episode playing was the season 3 finale, "Magical Mystery Cure," and had just come to the scene where Twilight had just restored each of her friends cutie marks back to normal. Now, that is another thing I found stupid about the show. Why would you let a picture on your butt dictate your ultimate destiny in life? And once you got one, what if it was something useless or unpleasant like grass counting, paint watching, or worst of all... being a lawyer?! *shiver* Now that is not something to joke about.

But in any case, I had to watch on and slowly fill my brain with useless facts about a show I couldn't care less about. Another ten grueling minutes later, the episode finally finished as the newly crowned princess, Twilight Sparkle, flew from the balcony of Canterlot Castle cheering, "Yes! Everything's going to be just fine!"

"I hope so Twilight, I hope so," Trish said as she wiped a tear away from her green eyes.

"Gag me, even I recognize a jump the shark moment in a show. This thing is on its last knees," I sneered to the side. Before I knew it, my face was being smothered by a plush toy and I was gasping and clawing for air.

"You can breathe again if you can explain the two greatest fears the fandom has about Pinkie Pie," Trisha sang as she continued to suffocate me.

"*cough* Cupcakes and the mirror pool. The former is that Pinkie has the greatest potential out of the show's entire cast to become mentally deranged, as seen in 'Party of One,' only to the point of slaughtering her friends, heavily emphasized by the fanfic 'Cupcakes' by Sergeant Sprinkles wherein Pinkie guts Rainbow Dash's organs to bake them into cupcakes and then makes her corpse into a doll. The latter plays off the fear that in sending the clones that Pinkie Pie had created to spend more time with her friends back to the mirror pool in 'Too Many Pinkie Pies,' the Pinkie that had won the paint staring contest is actually a clone that had adapted enough will not to break during the contest, and that Twilight had sent the original Pinkie back to the mirror pool to be trapped there for all time, which is made even more tragic by the fan story element that the original sent back to the pool is fully aware and conscious of where she is and how she is trapped forever! Now let me breathe!" I sputtered through pained breathes.

Trisha finally let go of the doll, and I immediately ripped it off my face and gasped for air. I looked down and noticed it was a Fluttershy plush. Go figure, huh? "Now, for someone who hates this show, you sure know an awful lot about it..." Trish jarred at me while wearing a mile wide grin.

"Yeah? Well who is the one who forces me to know this stuff?! Besides, just because I am forced to take in information, does not mean I won't have encyclopedic prowess on it!" I snarled over my shoulder at her. Yeah, yeah, call me a hypocrite all you want, but knowledge is power, and I believe that the only thing stronger than the knowledge itself, is how well you have it organized.

"Whatever, just get prepped for class already, I got illustrations to do." She then walked into her room and shut the door, all while humming the tune to "Morning in Ponyville."

"I swear, sometimes that girl just isn't right," I sighed as I rose from the couch and made my way to the bathroom.

Just as I was about to enter, I noticed I was still holding the assault Fluttershy Trisha had used on me. I stared at it with annoyance for a minute, but then I started to feel less tense as I had begun to stare at its felt blue eyes. It was actually oddly calming as I held her in my hands. I was slowly bringing her closer to me when I realized what I was doing, regained my annoyance, and threw it across the room as it landed with a soft plop on Trisha's door head-first. Satisfied, I was about to enter the bathroom again when I felt a cold chill come down my spine. I began to sweat as I slowly turned around to see Trish cradling the plush I just threw as if it was her child, her eyes burning with rage.

"T-Tri-Trisha? Y-you ok-Kay?" I stammered for my life. She didn't say a word. For a second she bowed her head, and then, without warning, she lunged at me, teeth barred and hungry for blood. I could only scream, "AGHGHHGGGHHHGHHHHJJMHGYGFCDRFH UNUHBFZSEC3535)67)(5?!'u!" *cough* Sorry. That moment still scares me, even to today.

---

An hour later, I was walking down the street to my film productions class, with the addition of a fresh black eye and several minor bruises focused at my jaw. Trish had decided to be merciful and chose not to kill me, but as a penalty, I had to take her precious Fluttershy out to see the sights on my way. She had made it so that the plush's head stuck out of my carrier bag and was painfully visible, warranting several stares and murmurs from on-lookers that ranged from questioning why I was carrying a stuffed animal at my age, to jeers at my masculinity, to even some girls commenting on how cute I looked. Now, I could have just hidden the toy after leaving home, but Trish would know and I knew I would suffer more for it later than some public comments.

I suppose you are wondering by now why I choose to stay with Trisha if she continually pummels and tortures on a daily basis, right? Well first off, I know I make her out to be a monster, but she really is quite nice and tolerable for the most part, she's just under stress a lot of the time. A REAL lot of the time. Trish works as a mangaka to be able to pay her way through college and to gain experience to pursue her dream of starting her own manga company after she graduates, and because of this, she takes on a lot work and projects to prove herself. Along with this, she has to meet several deadlines that need to be met in order to keep her job and to keep up with bills often involves her working through the night. I sometimes even find her some mornings asleep on her keyboard, exhausted from her work. I swear she is gonna go blind one day if this keeps up. Another reason for her stress is something we all find a bit of a pain in: dating. Being who she is, Trish gets hit on by a lot of guys, most of which are sleaze balls and jerks. And honestly, I can't really blame them for being interested. Trisha is about five-foot seven with long black hair that touches down just above her backside. Normally I see it as a crow's nest at home, but when styled, it almost feels and looks like a soft, cool black silk curtain. It also really brings out her her bright emerald green eyes and her soft pink lips, and does help accent her other assets (which weren't half-bad themselves). Now before you misunderstand me, I'm just trying to help you see my point, I have no romantic feelings for her whatsoever. I just live with her due to... reasons. Besides, she's three years older than me, and I'm still a minor. In any case, that's all there is between us, a violent pony-obsessed college student and her crazy inventor freeloader (using the term lightly).

As I made my way down to class, I had decided to follow Trisha's instructions and show the plushie some of the sights around town. "Okay Butterfly Butt. Now here is the local town reservoir, collecting dirty rain water since 1901. Here is Altair Park, where little children run and frolic and attack the little woodland creatures you love. And this-"

"...is the town freak show proprietor, prancing around with his latest oddity, a butter yellow pony." I quickly turned around to meet a black-haired, blue-eyed curvaceous goddess grace my ears with a soft giggle and one of her signature smiles. My face immediately went fire-engine red.

"L-l-Lady K-Ko-Kotegawa! I...uh...I...*eeep*" Yui Kotegawa was the president of the morals committee at my school. She was a straight A student, highly athletic, well respected, knew how to have fun, and all of that was wrapped up in quite a nice package. She was the fantasy girl of every guy in town, and she had a number of followers. Yet despite all the potential Adonis's she could choose from, she had for some reason decided to court me of all people. Me. Crazy nerd who blows himself up every other day and had almost no future in inventing me. If you are getting a déjà vu or groaning moment for the situation imitating almost every romance within manga history, you aren't the only one.

"Ha, ha. Calm down Ask-kun. It's just me," she said as she moved forward and held my head in her hands, my ears were burning at this point. "and I keep telling you to stop addressing me as Lady Kotegawa, just call me Yui."

"B-but, I can't. A true gentleman should always treat a lady with respect and address her as such," I said with my eyes turned away, unable to look at her (if you say anything about Trisha, I'll throttle you).

"But Ask-kun-"

"I mean it," finally breaking from her grasp, "you deserve to be treated as such. A woman as gentle and kind as you deserves to have her every order followed and held with such high esteem," I said looking away while twirling my bushy hair.

"Hmm, every order?" she said as a smirk started to form on her face. I began to break out in a sweat as I slowly turned around. Kotegawa had taken a few steps back and had extended her hand forward, her eyes glowing with excitement. "Then, kneel before me, kiss my hand, and swear yourself to me forever." You would think that my face couldn't go any redder, but as Doctor Ian Malcolm had once said, life found a way, and I started to stutter as she waited. "Well? If you are a true gentleman, then you won't deny my request will you? It's... actually something I always dreamed would happen to me..." she said as she began to blush lightly, her eyes slowly filling with anticipation.

Now tell me, if a beautiful girl you cared about was asking you to fulfill one of her fantasies despite it going against everything in your nature, what would you do?

"Of course, if I was interrupting a moment between you and your pony friend, I understand if you wanted to get back to my competition for you."

Okay, that tore it.

I slowly swallowed and began to bend down towards the ground, my entire body shaking like I was experiencing my own personal earthquake. I slowly took her hand in my own, and began to crane my head towards it. "I... I... I swe-" Before I could finish, I suddenly lunged and pushed Kotegawa forward and out of the way of what appeared to be a long black stick, that turned out to be a long black katana! "Lady Kotegawa, are you alri-ahahahahahahahAHAHAHHAHAHAH!"

I looked down to see that my hand had landed on Kotegawa's chest, and she too began to blush and smile a bit as she realized. "Uhh, thank you for saving me Ask-kun. You really are my knight, huh?"

"Uh-y-yeah, p-protecting and s-ser-servingggggahhhhh!" Call in a colorist, because I think I just bore a new shade of red.

"ASK!" I quickly turned around to find a group of ten guys each brandishing a weapon, rifle, or blunt object, their eyes burning with blood-lust. "ASK! What are you doing to our goddess?!" I turned to stare at my questioner, the leader of the gang, Rito Yukki.

"It was an accident, I was trying to make sure the sword didn't hit her!"

"Blasphemy! We can't help it if she wants you, but we will not stand for you corrupting our white angel with your smut!" Rito was about six feet tall, had bright orange hair, brown eyes, and a surprisingly large build. If he hit you, you were going down hard, and I should know.

"Please just give me a chance to-"

"Lets get him brothers!" And with that Rito charged at me leading his pack of neanderthals with him. Without a minute to waste, I jumped off of Kotegawa, grabbed the sword that nearly took my head off, and began to run for town. Kotegawa was left high and dry, slowly getting up as she stared at me run off. She then turned her attention to her hand, the hand that I had almost used to seal my devotion to her. She sighed, saddened that she had lost her chance for her knight to claim her.

"One day, maybe one day..."

---

As I continued to run, I could only hope not to hit anything along my way, with Rito and his goons slowly gaining. I had decided that moving along the street wasn't getting me anywhere, so it was time to start shooting a little higher. I looked around quickly for my chance and was able to find a ladder being pulled down from a building. I quickly started making a beeline for it, praying to god that this would work. I quickly jumped onto the ladder, ran across the rungs used for stepping, and leaped to grab the bricks ejecting out of the side of the building. Looking back to see the team quickly catching up, I started to climb until I managed to reach the roof. Pulling myself over the awning, I look down at my pursuers, satisfied with my accomplishment... that is until Rito had started to scale the building.

I quickly turned around and began to run to other side of the roof, and when the moment was just right, I hopped onto the awning, jumped, and rolled my way onto the next roof. Rito had finally made it to my level, so I continued to run. Unfortunately, he was still faster than me. I continued to jump from roof to roof, with Rito only seconds behind. Worse yet, I was running out of roofs to escape to, and the only thing below was a fifty foot drop onto hard concrete. I chanced a glance and saw that Rito was only a few roofs away, just when I caught myself from running off the produce store roof. I was trapped, no way to escape or run, just pain. However, just when all seemed to be lost, I spotted a produce cart below that looked like it was just deep enough for me. Okay, for anyone who is hearing this story, when you are pushed to the edge of a roof and the only way to escape from being pummeled is to jump, I think that that is the time where you should accept your beating and live to get beaten another day.

Unfortunately, I suck at listening to my own advice.

"Okay, fifty-foot drop that could possibly seriously injure me if I miss my mark, or being beaten by a pack of jealous groupies. Which to choose? ...Okay," I began pulling out a coin, "heads jump, tails take the homicide." I flipped the coin into the air, but as it came back down I missed catching it, and it quickly fell into the produce pile. "...Works for me!" I then grit my teeth, said a little prayer, and then swan-dived from the building. I quickly pulled my body up and landed in the pile on my back, shattering the foundation of the cart but saving my hide. "Yes! My first leap of faith and I stick the landing!" I cheered with my fist in the air.

"My cabbages!" I quickly turned around to see the green grosser with a look of horror and anguish on his face and quickly noticed that the cart wasn't the only thing damaged by my fall. Several cabbages had been squished under me, with some leaves even sticking to my butt.

"Eh-he-he, sorry Mr. Ping," I stated with a sheepish smile. I was just about to pay for the damage when I saw that Rito's gang had caught up, prompting me to run as fast as I could from the area. Unfortunately the goons had managed to stomp over every other cabbage still intact at the stand's wreck.

"MY CABBAGESSSSSSSAAAAAHHHH!"

"SORRY MR. PING!" I screamed back.

"AHHHHHHH! COME BACK HERE YOU LAZY GOOD-FOR-NOTHING KID! I MEAN IT ASK! ASK!? ASK!" Well, there's another stand I can never come back to.

The chase was starting to take its toll on me, and I was starting to lose the will to keep going. Eventually, I had thought I could lose them down an alley, only to find to my horror that I had met a brick wall. I looked around for a path away, but it was too late. I quickly turned around to see the gang blocking my way out.

"Nowhere left to run Ask," Rito sneered at me while slowly cracking her knuckles.

"*sigh* It always come to this doesn't it Rito?" I asked.

"Eeyup, so now," he said looking to his posse and stepping forward, "I think it's time we get this over with."

"Do we really have to do this?" I pleaded while slowly closing my eyes and putting a hand to my sword.

"Face it Ask!" Rito said as he pulled out his own blade, "It's time for someone to get what's coming to him!" And with that he charged forward, as I took my stance and readied for what was coming.

---

"You were right Rito," I said as I leaned back on one of my foes, eliciting a groan while sheathing my sword, "it was time someone got what was coming to them."

"You see?" Rito said with a grin as he stepped on one of the thugs. "That wasn't so bad was it?" Scattered across the ground were what remained of the thugs Rito had led. Each had sustained a number of injuries, and a few had even been knocked unconscious.

"Yeah, yeah," I said as I had flipped over one of the thugs and searched his pockets, "I still say that I should have been the one to take on the disguise job."

"You could have, but then we wouldn't have a reason to get them all together, and you wouldn't have got to spend so much time with your ~pure white goddess~." Rito sang as he held his hands together, staring at me with faux love-struck eyes.

"Shut up. Shut up forever. I still say that it was wrong to use Kotegawa as bait for the job, and you kinda caught us at a really bad time you know. Ah, found 'em!" I said as I pulled out two envelopes from the thug's pocket.

"Huh, looked to me like I was saving your sorry flank." Rito was in the process of pulling off his jacket to reveal a tape recorder and microphone taped to his chest.

"Flank, really? *sigh* You're just as bad as Trisha."

"Oh really? Says the guy with a Fluttershy plush in his bag." Rito had pulled the plush out of my bag and was in the process of placing the recorder, one of my envelopes and a few others into a box when he stopped for a moment, looked down at the plush, and smiled as he pulled it in for a bear hug.

"I only brought that along because Trisha had forced me to, so drop it. Now finish up already! I made the call ten minutes ago, and they'll be here any moment." I had grabbed my bag and had made my way to the fire escape on the side of the building, when I turned back to see Rito still hugging the stupid toy. "Ughhh! Come On!" I screamed as I grabbed Rito by his collar and pulled him up.

We both climbed up to the roof just in time to see the police pull up and find our little mess. "What the heck happened here?" one of the officers asked.

"No idea, but must have been a real- w-wait a sec! I know these guys!" another police officer exclaimed as he turned over one of the thugs. "I know all of these guys! They're the ones responsible for the Robinson break in two nights ago!"

"Again? But we couldn't book 'em then because of a lack of evidence, so why bother now?"

As if on cue, one of the rookies had found the box Rito had set up. "Sarge, get a load of this!" The Sergeant pulled out one of the letters Rito had set and quickly opened it up.

"A token of support from a couple of humble Independents. Use it well?"

The rookie then pulled out another one of the envelopes and his eyes immediately bugged out when he saw the contents. "B-boss! It's the missing order form for the opiate shipment last month! And this is the murderer reveal note lost during last week's case!"

One by one, the officers had pulled out piece by piece evidence that had been lost to law enforcers for years now. Shady drug orders, DNA tests, witness lists, territory maps, you name it and it was there. With this, criminals that had escaped punishment until now could finally be put behind bars where they belong, and the innocent who had been imprisoned in their place could return to their families.

"Well son of a gun, it's all here. Get this box down to headquarters and get these boys into squad cars! On the double! Make absolutely sure that these get there in one piece!" The second those words passed the Sarge's mouth, the box was immediately whisked away in a squad car and my pursuers were being slowly moved into squad cruisers.

"I still can't believe it Sarge. Everything that we found. And all from an anonymous tip? It's just unimaginable..."

"Your telling me. Did you know that my sister's husband was put in the big house for one of those cases? I can finally see Jacob free for the first time in two years. Sarah's going to do a Sonic Rainboom at this!"

What?

"Ha ha, I know, I think that I'm might even cheer at this!" The lieutenant then took in a large breath of air, and just when he seemed like he was going to shoot roofs off their hinges, he almost whispered, "Yay!"

No.

"Ha! Alright, alright, let's save it for tonight with our little girls. Did you know that Elicia is now riding a tricycle? I swear, she gets cuter everyday!" The Lieutenant said with proud dopey eyes through his glasses.

"See you after we finish processing the box. Brohoof?"

No no no.

"Nope. A moment like this requires something even more special."

"You don't mean..?"

"I do."

Oh please Celestia no! (Oh God, now I'm doing it!)

"Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake," the two began as they jumped in the air and covered their eyes and revealed them, "clap your hooves and do a little shake!" They finished by clapping their hands and shaking their butts high up in the air for all to see.

"Well, in any case, whoever those independent guys are, they deserve a medal for their work. Anyway, lets get to it Lieutenant."

"Mmhmm!" And with that, the two got in their cruiser and left.

As Rito started to look to his right, he saw that I wasn't taking what I just saw easily, as evidenced by my eyes becoming slits and my jaw almost reaching the roof floor. Yet despite all this, he couldn't help but laugh out with joy and hysteria at what he just saw and how his almost unbreakable best friend just lost his mind from a thirty second dance.

---

"Thirteen weeks," I said as we made our way down the street. "Thirteen weeks of plotting, surveillance, infiltration and implementation into the city underbelly to collect enough information to put away three-fourths of this city's crime syndicates, and I just handed the fruits of our labor over to a couple of loony bronies."

"And they will see that justice is served using it. Besides, you've got to admit that it wasn't the worst thing in the world."

"IT WAS COMPLETELY MIND-NUMBING! I HAVE NEVER FELT SO BROKEN THAN WHEN I SAW THAT DANCE, SO DISGUSTED, SO PRETURBED, SO...SO...you enjoyed every second of this little episode haven't you?" I dead-panned to Rito.

"Hohoho, completely!" Rito beamed at me. I could only help but sigh at this, slowly rubbing my temples to combat the oncoming headache. This is what I get for having a brony as a best friend. Yeah, best friend. The dude who was attempting to take my head off with a sword and posse is my best friend. That's the power of acting for you.

"Ehh, don't worry! The police got the box, and the Silver Serpents are being sent to jail as we speak. Mission accomplished," Rito claimed as he leaned against a wall.

"Well," I said as I pulled out the envelope I snagged as we came to our destination, "almost." I knocked on the door to the apartment that was before us and waited for someone to greet us. Not too long afterwards, I was greeted by a middle-aged blonde woman who looked like she hadn't slept for days. "Mrs. Robinson?" I asked.

"Ask, Rito, I'm sorry boys but, nows not a very good ti-"

"We know Mrs. Robinson, and that's why we're here," Rito said.

"I'm afraid I don't understand Rito..." Mrs. Robinson said.

"We believe this belongs to you."

I then offered her the envelope as she hesitantly took it and opened it, her image almost immediately brightening at the sight of what was inside. "B-boys?! This is- this is-!"

"All the money stolen from you, along with your credit cards, identification cards, social security numbers, and passports, along with your engagement ring and Dan's old watch. Looks like Annie and Fry will be able to stay with their friends here in Elenoir after all," I said with a humble smile.

"Plus, I don't think the Silver Serpents will be bothering you again anytime soon. Or any gangs in this district for that matter," Rito added. Mrs. Robinson was speechless, she just stood there, trying to form words as tears of happiness came to her eyes.

"Hey hey, come on little lady. We want to see you smile!" Rito said as he physically grabbed the sides of her face and stretched her mouth into a smile.

"Uh, yes, well," I irritatedly said as I pulled Rito off her, "we'll be on our way then. Have a good night Mrs. Robinson."

As we began to leave Mrs. R finally broke her daze and screamed after us, "BOYS!" We quickly turned around to see her on her knees, openly sobbing. "I c-can never r-repay you for this! No matter h-how much I w-work for it!"

She expected that we wanted something out of this, sad but understandable. No one really did anything for free these days. We both walked up and knelt down beside her. "Dana," I said as I lifted her head up, "listen to me. We didn't do anything. You got your stuff back, and that's the end of it. We are nobody. You don't know our names or who we are as a pair or as individuals. We don't want anything out of it. Now leave it."

"B-but I c-can't let this just go unpaid!" Dana was almost on the verge of breaking down at this point.

I stood up and began to walk away. "It's a simple transaction, I help get your stuff back, and I see thugs rot in jail for it. I didn't do this for you, I did it for me." And with that, I left for class.

Rito sighed and turned back to Mrs. Robinson. "Look Dana, don't mind him. He's just... got a few issues when it comes to letting people get close. He really is just happy to see that your situation is resolved. We never expect anything back, we just do the job because its the right thing to do. If you really want to pay us back, just pass on the goodwill onto someone else." Rito had got up and had decided to run after me. "Remember that Dana! It's the Independents' code! Stick to that and you can't go wrong!" he called back.

---

A few hours later, I was sitting on the edge of the Elenoir finance center's roof, overlooking the city as the sun had started to set. Feeling a bit sentimental, I looked down at my watch, and just stared as the the mix of colors reflected against the bezel.

"You know, it was said that god had made sunset as vibrant as it is to serve as a final gift each day so that people wouldn't mind the darkness and cold that the night offered."

I turned around to see Rito walk up to the edge and take a seat next to me.

"People only fear what they do not understand. Within the light, all is revealed, but within the dark, all is concealed and hence all is unknown and possible. Yet even within darkness, there always is light if one knows where to look," I countered as I looked upward, "and you got that quip from a Celestia fanfic."

"And yet despite that, I still get to enjoy a nice sunset." Rito replied with a smirk. A few moments passed in silence, until finally Rito turned to me with a serious look. "You know you could have been a bit easier on her."

"I choose to speak the truth, not lies like some fake code you created," I said as I leaned back and closed my eyes. "The Independents were formed under the principles that we fight to serve the light through the shadows, never revealed, never noticed. We hold no ties to anyone because we may endanger those we hold dear, we live for our brotherhood, not for others."

"And that was just the Assassins Creed adapted to your speech," Rito shot back.

"Yet it still accurately describes why the five of us formed the group in the first place. We choose to be alone so that others don't get hurt. And yet you decide to be a brony, someone who openly endorses the principles of friendship and companionship."

"Yeah, yeah. Says the guy who's a living MLP encyclopedia that you can actually physically reference," said Rito.

"I cannot be physically ref-"

"The three longest songs in the MLP:FIM series to date."

"In order of descending length, Super Cider Squeezy 6000, A True True Friend, and Winter Wrap Up." I said in a dead-pan trance. As I quickly shook it off, I saw Rito look at me with an eyebrow raised. "That proves nothing," I quickly said as I turned away.

"And need I remind you of your little pony companion?" I turned back to see him holding Fluttershy up to my face.

"Ah! Give her back already!" I said snatching Fluttershy back.

"Her?"

I really am digging myself into a hole, aren't I?

"I-I-it's been a long day and I have no desire to debate this," I said as I leaned back with the doll I my arms.

"You know, you could learn a thing or two from Fluttershy-"

"-and from the rest of the Mane 6 and the brony community."

My eyes finally shot open and turned around to see a little less than refreshing set of faces. "Well, nice to see you lot, too," I said.

Behind me were my trainers and teachers in the skills and abilities that made me who I am today: David (DJ) Johnson, Doctor Sonata Miyamoto, and Major Lea Fox. With Rito and myself, the five of us made up a small vigilante team that worked to help keep crime down in the city, the Independents. We didn't operate under any laws or by any government, only under the ideal that we are meant to help preserve a man's right to happiness, freedom, and prosperity.

"Watch your tongue Ask, or I won't hesitate to take it from you," Fox commanded.

"You really can learn something from them Ask," said Sonata with her ever pacifying smile. "The fandom has shown several instances of increasing a person's ability for compassion and intimacy, and the characters also serve to convey some very important life lessons as well."

"Right, and I suppose I should start dying my hair multiple colors and using crazy words like everypony in my speech as well?" I snarled.

"Ask." I quickly turned to the source of the thundering voice that called me. "You're letting your emotions get the better of you, clouding better judgement. There is value in what they are saying." I couldn't say much against DJ, the others yeah, but he was my fighting and spiritual guide, and all I could do was just turn away from them.

"I'll admit it myself, those ponies of Rito's are pretty cute, and that Rainbow Dash character shows some real spirit," Lea said. I couldn't believe this, a thirty-year-old ten-year war vet who was my parkour and weapons teacher had said that a pony had spirit?

"And I'm quite liking that Twilight Sparkle character, she truly has quite the potential to be a great leader," said Sonata. Okay, losing faith in my team here, now that my social and practical sciences mentor was talking crazy.

"Really? I admire Applejack most. Honest and hard-working, and I imagine as a human she has a pretty toned body from all that apple-bucking," Rito said dreamily. Did he just say that Applejack would look hot as a human?!

"That Pinkie character seems like she would be a hell of a party plus one, and a damn good partner in other fields." At that point, I was really losing it. DJ, the large, buff African Titan who was my totem of masculinity, had just said that he found a girly pony to be a good companion for parties and... okay, I'm not going there.

"And I must say, that Rarity character seems quite nice as a companion if you want class in its best form," Sonata added, but at this point I was just lying back waiting for them to stop talking, clutching my doll. "But I still hold that Fluttershy is the best fit for Ask, especially as a wife," my eyes popped open at Sonata's words, not even noticing as she rested her chest against mine, "or maybe," as she turned my head towards her, giving me a sexy smile, "~a lover~."

"Definitely, a knight for a fair maiden needing protecting," said Rito.

"She would definitely make a pretty top-quality girl and partner, especially in a human form," quipped Lea.

"Eeyup, made for each other," DJ thundered.

Alright, I had it.

"Okay, that's enough," I said as I removed Sonata and Fluttershy from me. "So, to talk about a topic not about a sick desire to spend quality time with a pony, what do we do now about our world?"

"We wait," said DJ, "wait to serve as we are needed. Until then, we continue to oversee legal proceedings of the criminals and plan accordingly," said DJ.

"Great, well, might as well help preserve our home personas. I'm gonna go see if I can find Kotegawa and apologize for ditching her." I quickly collected my things and prepared to leave when an arm caught my shoulder, turning to see Rito.

"Listen, we're... sorry about getting you late to class today."

I sighed, "It's fine, just continued work on my project for the Up-and-Coming Young Artist Competition, and I've got a few months left. One day isn't going to kill me."

"Yeah... so... anything come up lately... about your name?" I stiffened at this, a chill running through my blood. I turned away slightly, unable to speak, but then I turned to my friends and brought them in for a hug, a small sad smile forced to rest their spirits. As I let go, I decided to leave at that point, not offering another word.

"Mmm, ponies or not, he really needs people like those girls."

"We know Sonata, but what can we do? All he's got is us, and he can just escape home at his choice."

"Can you really blame him though Lea? I mean, after all that has happened to him? I'm surprised he remains so calm."

Rito, Sonata, and Lea had all looked dejected, disappointed in their inability to help their partner.

"Hmm." The three looked to DJ, his eyes closed in thought, the wind spiraling around him. "Something tells me we won't have to wait long for a change to come..." raising their spirits a bit, "...but," he added quickly dashing them, "...we may very well lose him in the process," he said, opening his eyes to reveal two pools full of worry.

This was not good. DJ didn't just get sudden bad vibes, his instincts are so well honed that they are at the point of having the ability to offer premonitions. Rito eyes grew very small as Lea flinched and Sonata gasped. Without wasting any more time, they began to run to catch up to me, unaware that I was already too far to be found in time, and that I wouldn't be seeing them again for a long, long time.

---

As I made my way towards Kotegawa's apartment, I couldn't help but reflect on what my friends had said to me. About how that heinous show had something to offer me? That I could actually learn something from it? And that I actually would make a good MATE for its nutzo characters?! Nonsense, nothing more than that. There is no way I am going to ever learn anything from that show that I didn't already know, and I most definitely am not going to be spending any time with the Mane 6 anytime soon, as humans, ponies, or any shape in between. Yet the thing that was really eating me was Rito's last question, about my name.

As some of you may or may not have guessed, my name isn't really Ask. Due to a series of unfortunate events too complicated to go into right now, I don't really know what my name truly is. I try and try, but I keep on coming up with nothing when I try to dig for it. I will admit, I liked my title right now, but that's all it was, a title. Without my name, I always felt that a part of me was missing, that I was never truly whole. Yet despite this, all I ever get when I think about my name is that one three letter word, ask. Eventually it stuck, and Ask became my new name. Now, why I couldn't just find my name from government, medical, or school records... well... that's a story for another time.

As I made my way down the street, I started to get bored. Thinking of a way to pass the time, I reached down into my bag and pulled out a small bronze, black, and white rod with a green bulb at the top. My sonic screwdriver: best thing in the world to toss around. It may not have any of the features like the real deal, but it definitely was a blast to twirl and toss it into the air, only to catch it smoothly in my outstretched hand as it fell to the ground. Just as I had turned a corner, I noticed that something felt... off about tonight, like the air was tense. Brushing it off, I continued to play with my sonic as night was quickly coming.

Eventually, I had reached the apartment complex, and was just about to climb the stairs when something caught my attention. On the side of the complex's garage was a large shadow that seemed to be breathing. It just continued to shake up and down in a pattern, but the light casting it remained still. What really put me off though is that its owner had to be pretty large, as the shadow was too big for any regular human. Worse yet, it looked like it was growing and stretching, particularly towards my direction.

"Huh," I said with a bit of worry, "I think I'll talk with Kotegawa tomorrow."

As I made my way back home, I looked back to see that the shadow hadn't stopped growing or stretching, and it actually picked up a few friends. I quickly turned my head and quickened my pace.

"Okay, that's not good."

Suddenly voices started to erupt all around me. Each belonged to a different person as far as I could tell, but they did share two commonalities: they all sounded terrified, and they were all begging for help. My pace quickened at this point to a light jog.

"Creepy voices, definitely not good."

I tried covering my ears to block out the sound, but the harder I tried, the louder they became.

"Okay, creepy voices inside my head, that is most definitely NOT good!"

I couldn't think anymore, the voices had grown to deafening screams and I couldn't concentrate on where I was going. I started to fall to my knees as I gripped my head, just begging for a way out. So many people, so many cries. I didn't care who, I just wanted someone, ANYONE, to end it. As I continued to struggle, the shadows were slowly closing in on me, their numbers significantly increased. But I just sat there, unable to move from the strain, not caring what came. However, just when all seemed lost, I felt two warm hands suddenly grip the sides of my face, and the voices finally stopped. It felt amazing to be free of them, almost like a huge weight had been lifted off my mind. I opened my eyes to see who had come to my aid, and was a little shocked by what met me.

In front of me was a girl, no older than I was from the looks of her, wearing a large brown coat over a dark-blue dinner jacket, navy-blue button-up shirt and dark-blue slacks. On her feet was a pair of red trainers, a red neck tie was visible on her chest, and sitting just barely visible outside of her coat were a black pair of reading glasses. She seemed like she would stand at about five-foot nine, had creamy white skin, a skinny but perky build, and long brown hair that seemed to flare a bit at the bangs. Her eyes were closed as she rested her hands on each side of my temples. As I lifted one of my hands to touch hers, she quickly grabbed it and her eyelids shot open, revealing a pair of dark brown eyes.

Before I could say another word, she drew in close to me and whispered quickly in my ear, "Look around you now." I did as she asked and saw that we were surrounded my dozens of shadows, each waiting for a chance it seemed to almost pounce off the pavement and towards us. "We are surrounded. You won't live without my help, and I won't live without yours," she said hoarsely, "so we're going to help each other. Follow my instructions very, Very carefully, and we will both survive this, understood?"

I quickly nodded my head in response. "Fantastic!" She pulled back and smiled at me. "Right, well, now that that's settled, your first and only instruction it to run straight that way," she said pointing at a wall in the distance, "snap your fingers as you approach the wall, and hit the switch. And don't fret, you'll know it when you see it," she said as I was about to interrupt, "just remember. Straight, Snap, Switch, and please do them quickly. Start when I say go." This was sounding crazy, but the shadows were getting closer and I didn't have any other options. I quickly readied myself to run for the wall, ready to escape the mad alley.

"Oh, sorry, so sorry. Forgot one more important thing." I quickly jerked my head in fear at her as time was running out. "Save. As in me. As in you have to carry me when I pass out so we both escape."

"What?!"

"And, GO!"

And with that she passed out in front of me. With no time to question what had just happened, I quickly scooped her into my arms and onto my back as I made my way to the wall. The shadows immediately sprang towards us, and were quickly gaining as we neared the wall. Praying once again that day, I held my breath as I thought, "This is crazy, This Is Crazy , THIS. IS. CRAZY!" and quickly snapped my fingers a foot away from the wall, bracing for impact.

Yet it never came. I stumbled instead into what looked like a control room, where a big yellow button was glowing on a console. Now, I know this may not sound too intelligent, but if I was in an emergency where hitting a button would save me, I suppose it would only make sense to have it be a great big dangerous glowing one so that anyone could notice it. As the shadows were a mere few yards away from the door, I slammed the button and hoped for the best. Suddenly, a bright yellow light shined on us and the opening to the room, and a dozen or so shrieks started to sound. Peering through my covered eyes, I saw that the light was directed towards the creatures, and the screams were coming from them as they began to disappear and the doorway shut closed.

I waited for a few moments to see if any had survived, but when I got no other sounds than my own breathing, I slumped back on the floor, relieved that things were normal. It was then that I noticed that the girl I carried had breathed rather loudly. Turning around, I saw that her breath was not only visible, but actually gold with a few particles in it. It circled the room a bit and then flew upward into a vent as it disappeared for who knows where. "Okay, relatively normal," I thought aloud with a dazed look at my savior and burden.

---

"Okay, I just got hunted by shadows, ran into a wall to end up God knows where, and I have a crazy girl on my hands that is passed out and is breathing golden vapor," I said as I analyzed my situation. "Okay!" I said grinning, "…I think I have to lay off the training for a while." And with that I collected my bag and made my way for the door.

"Girls, always gonna be the death of me. Girls I live with, girls I care for, girls I meet off the street, and even girls that are not human. Especially girls that aren't even human." As I made my way for the exit, I stopped and looked back at the girl that had helped me escape. She didn't look like she was getting up anytime soon but didn't seem like she would get into any trouble here, and Trisha would get upset if I was late. Yet, she did look pretty bad, and it didn't seem like anyone would be coming to help her here, wherever here is. Besides, what kind of a gentleman would I be if I left a lady in alone in such a vulnerable condition?

I made my way back to the control panel with the emergency button and leaned over the girl who saved me. I brought my ear to her mouth and listened closely, confirming that she was breathing normally. I examined her eyes and saw that they were moving rapidly, ensuring regular brain activity. I then started to remove her coat and jacket so her chest was readily available for me to examine. After taking a moment to grab my first-aid kit from my bag, I took out my stethoscope and placed the sound drum onto her chest and began to listen. I could get a beat, but something was off about what I heard. It was almost as if her heart was beating to a rhythm, like a pair of drums beating in sequence. This drew my eye to the other side of her chest. Knowledge of common anatomy and the basic ideas of common sense made me realize that this was impossible, but I always said to never deny the possibility of something just because it was improbable. I moved the drum just above the other side of her chest and was ready to listen in. However, just before I was about to place it down, I started to really notice just where I ended up.

Around me was a rounded domed wall that had several circular panels positioned in a systematic pattern, with a white doorway with an illuminated sign just above it. There were some words printed there, but I couldn't make them out from my position. I then noticed the control panel a bit more as well. In the center of the room was a large glass tube with a glass structure oscillating up and down within it, illuminated by a green light. Surrounding this was a circular panel with the most bizarre array of switches and knobs that I have ever seen. There switches and buttons, knobs and levers, rotating gears and twisting gyros, blinking lights and flashing signs, and… a mallet? I then noticed something particularly interesting.

Protruding just at the base of the panel was a bronze handle that was attached to a hatch that looked like it hadn't been opened for quite some time. It looked harmless enough, so I decided that I would take a peek inside. I tried the handle, only for it to not budge an inch. I tried it again and again using a number of different methods. I tried both hands, using my feet, using the mallet, and even tried prying it with my teeth. When I finally had enough of trying things that would make sense, I tried the only thing that I could think of. Digging inside of my bag, I pulled out my sonic screwdriver and eyed it with suspicion.

"There is no way that this is going to work," I muttered as I eyed the hatch.

What was it with this one drawer that made me obsess about getting it open? Ii just seemed like any other drawer, but I just couldn't shake the feeling that something inside was calling to me. I brought my sonic over to the hatch and gave its on button a firm push, allowing it to cover the patch with a soft emerald green glow as it buzzed. At first nothing happened, as expected, but then miraculously, the hatch began to creak and move. My eyes bulged as I waited for it to fully open, but I soon found that I didn't have to wait as long as I thought.

Without warning, the hatch launched itself fully open and a blinding white light started to fill the room. My hair started to stand on end as I stared into the light, and I began to see things zoom past my mind. A beast in a dark and looming castle, a pink-haired girl crying out for help as large men dragged her away, a butler coming at me with dinner knives barred like daggers, a young man with metal limbs falling from the sky like a meteorite, a skinny man with brown hair pointing a silver pen-shaped object as a blue light resonated from it, a professor with a brown top hat pointing an accusing finger at a shadow, a group of people cowering in the corner of a sound booth, these were only a few of the sights that burned into my brain.

I quickly pointed my sonic at the hatch and engaged the switch again. Unfortunately, the hatch didn't close as gracefully as it opened. I was hurled back against a wall as the hatch shut violently with a small explosion, the light quickly dissipating. The good thing about experimenting with explosives, you get used to recoil, the bad thing, it doesn't prepare you for collateral damage. I looked down to see that my watch had broken into two. The face and glass hadn't suffered any scratches and the mechanics were intact, but the battery and the main gears were blown to bits. On top of that, I lost my sonic when I hit the wall.

As I looked around for it, I didn't notice when a small fragment of the light had moved its way to the watch and dug into the mechanics. After a few seconds, the light dissipated, and left behind was a shimmering blue gear. After searching under the control console, I had finally given up trying to find my trinket, and resigned myself to it being lost. However, just as I was turning my head, I heard a faint buzz. Quickly locating the source, I saw that sticking just outside an opening on the console was my sonic screwdriver, or at least what I thought was my sonic screwdriver. Quickly pulling it out, I noticed something was off about it. It still looked the same, but its surface seemed to shimmer and feel cool to the touch, while the colors appeared to be more metallic. I quickly placed it back into my bag, fearing losing it again, and then decided to check up on my patient again. She was still unconscious, but was stable.

"Now how does anybody sleep through something like that? Not that I have any room to complain…" I muttered as I stared at the girl. Getting annoyed at just identifying her as a girl, I decided to try and find some identification to finally get some answers on just who she was. I picked up the coat she was wearing and started to search its pockets. I found the glasses again, along with what appeared to be a fob watch with strange markings on it. I couldn't use either of them, so I quickly replaced them as I continued to search. I then found a folded blue card holder that seemed to hold the answers I sought. As I opened it, I was sadly met with a blank sheet of paper. While I stared at it, hoping that something would show up if I waited long enough, the girl once again exhaled a cloud of gold dust, except this time, instead of passing through the vents in the room, it had flown towards the mechanics of my watch, burrowing deep inside and starting to solidify. "Well, that's disappointing," I said as I closed the holder just as the light had finally quelled and left behind was a bright gold gear.

I dug a little deeper into the coat and eventually felt what seemed to be a wrist band hit my fingertips. I pulled up the object and found it to be a large brown band with a computer display attached to its topside. I tried turning it on, but I just continued to stare at a blank screen. "Hmm, time to see what's going on in here." I carefully removed the top of the display and started to examine the internal structure. The tech on this thing was beyond anything I had ever seen before, but it was easy to see that it wasn't going to start working anytime soon, not with all the parts that it looked like it was missing. Yet one thing managed to catch my eye about it. Lying inside was a silver checkered watch battery at the heart of the mechanics. It looked like just the thing that would be able to help me repair my watch! I know that stealing is wrong, but that watch holds a lot of meaning to me, and it didn't look like the owner of the device really cared for hers, given how damaged the mechanics were and how tattered the leather was. I looked back to see if the girl was still unconscious, and to my luck she was. "Well, I do believe it's time...," I said as I pulled on my goggles and started to brandish my picking knives and mini screwdrivers, my eyes glossing over in anticipation, "...to perform a little heart transplant!"

I began to remove the battery from the band by carefully prying it with my knives. After a few seconds, it finally popped out and fell into my hand. Strangely, it had a faint blue glow around it as it hit my palm. Paying no mind, I quickly brought over my watch to see if I could scrap anything else from the band. It was then that I noticed that two of the most vital gears that I would need for my repairs were miraculously replaced by the blue and gold ones. Content with the fact that I didn't have to replace them, I continued to scrap the remaining necessary parts from the band. After several minutes of work, everything was in place, and all was left to do do was seal the casing with the battery. I carefully inserted the battery and after inserting the final screw, I stepped back to admire my work. My silver body, black strap watch was back to its former glory and ready to be used once again. As I secured it to my wrist, I noticed that the hands that normally glowed green in the dark were now a dark blue, but paid no mind to it. I also noticed that the time was wrong given the period it spent without a power source. I quickly pulled the knob that would allow me to change the time, and started to rotate the hands to the proper time.

Now, this is the point where I really start to think about my choices, and consider that this is the one time that if I had payed just a little more attention to the signs around me, things would have played out a whole lot differently. Maybe I should have considered my surroundings a little more and I would've realized where I was, maybe I should've paid more attention when my clock hands turned blue, maybe I should've paid more attention when two gears mysteriously entered into my watch, maybe I should've been a little bit more aware when wind started to wrap itself around my body and my entire figure started to glow a faint blue, and maybe, just maybe, I should've been a little bit concerned when the eyes of the girl laying beside me shot open and immediately stared at me with horror. But it was all in the past, and boy was my future going to be interesting.

"Don't touch that!" she screamed as she lurched at me. As she collided into me, my hand had slammed into the adjustment knob and it closed with a snap, the hands starting to move again. For a split second, everything seemed fine. And then that second ended.

I was suddenly launched forward, my eyes tearing up behind my googles due to my speed. Dark clouds formed around me, lightning blasts just barely singeing me. After what seemed like hours, one of the bolts finally made contact. For a moment, everything grew bright, my body feeling weightless, almost fearing I was sent straight to the next world. But then I finally made contact with hard earth, rolling uncontrollably as I continued to move. Eventually, I had hit my back hard against a jutting structure. For a second, I was able to see again, just noticing blurs of hot pink, purple, yellow, rainbow, dark purple, and a soft rose as I struggled to get up. Struggle as I try, I hadn't been used to pain like this, and fell to the ground as everything grew dark.

---

Eventually, I had finally regained consciousness as I began to stir. I tried to stand, but I was still feeling a bit weak.

"... do ya' think he is Twi'?" I heard a particularly southern voice nearby.

"I'm not alone," I thought. I turned my head towards the noise I heard, and attempted to open my eyes. My vision still seemed blurred, and it didn't seem like it was changing despite my attempts to blink it back to normal.

"I don't know AJ, but he doesn't seem like he is in too good of shape." Wait, AJ? Twi'? I started to move my head faster and was finally able to locate the source of the conservation. It was still pretty blurry, but I was able to make out two female figures, one with purple hair with a pink streak, the other with blonde hair drawn into a ponytail topped with a brown stetson. I guess Trisha had left the TV on and was sleep conditioning me to love ponies, and now I was even dreaming about them.

"Are you kidding!? He just blasted into the throne room! For all we know he could be here to hurt the princesses!" said a rainbow-haired figure that flourished what looked like... cyan wings?! And did she just say he?! Okay, I was getting very scarred now. I then took a second take at the purple haired one, and noticed that she had two folded down lavender wings, and it looked like there was a just as lavender structure jutting from her forehead. Please, someone, wake me up now.

"Uhh, girls..."

"Rainbow, darling, you really should calm down, you'll get wrinkles," a curly purple-haired figure said with a white structure jutting from her head. "And besides, the only thing harmful I can see about him is his attire. I mean, honestly, those loafers do NOT go at all with his black cargos and white v-neck." I don't like this dream anymore. Please someone save me.

"Uhh, girls."

"Yeah! Besides, he's new and looks pretty fun! I mean, he just flew right into the room out nowhere! Which is pretty amazing because he doesn't have a horn or wings or anything! And he's got that funny looking bag, who knows, he might have brought everypony presents! That would so super-duper-looper nice of him! Ohh! Maybe he brought cake or muffins or pair of slacks or a can of shellac or a new little puppy that needs a snack or..." a hot pink-haired blur had said as she bounced in place. Everypony!? Fear started to grip me as I scrambled enough energy to stand.

"Girls!"

The girls turned their heads toward a smaller girl that had a pair of yellow wings and a rose-colored hair. "What Fluttershy?" they all screamed. And with that, I went into panic mode.

I jumped to my feet as I backed away from the girls as far as I could, falling over a few things in the process. When I felt myself hit something that wouldn't give way, I quickly turned back to see five of the girls quickly converge on me. "Stay back!" I said as I grabbed the nearest object I could find. "I warn you! I'm armed!" For some reason, the hot pink one started to laugh hysterically at my comment.

"Please, just calm down. We aren't going to hurt you," said the dark purple one.

"Pfft, yeah, unless you give us a reason creep!" shrieked the rainbow one.

"Just keep you're distance horse girl and you won't have any trouble from me."

"Wait, horse girl?" she questioned.

"Yeah. What you are, a horse," I said with a cocked brow.

"Uhh, sugarcube? You migh' want teh to clean those fancy glasses o' yours," said the blonde girl.

"Fancy glasses?" I lifted my hand up to my face and felt that I still had my goggles on. I pulled them off and gave them a good cleaning, finally making visibility possible again. As I placed them into my bag, I looked back to the girls, and my eyes bulged at what I saw.

In front of me were five girls that looked like they were in their early twenties or late teens. Each had the hair I had described along with quite a few extra details. The blonde girl was about five foot-seven with emerald green eyes, freckles, and a pretty toned yet curvy body. She was wearing blue work jeans, an orange plaid shirt, brown leather boots, and a large brown Stetson as she eyes me with a hint of worry. The purple haired one was a good five-seven and wore a long white sundress that hugged her quite closely and accented several of her assets, including her deep blue eyes that had a bit of periwinkle shadow around them. The hot-pink haired one was a good five-eight with light blue eyes and wore a bright pink skirt along with a white shirt and blue jacket, all decked out in what looked like different pieces of candy. The rainbow haired one was wearing a white sports t-shirt, rainbow leg warmers and a pair of black workout shorts that made her look pretty streamlined and built. She was still giving me an accusing look with her magenta eyes squinting at me, although she was a little less intimidating given she only stood at five feet, four inches. Next to her was the dark-purple haired girl who stood at five-foot seven. She was wearing a white plaid button-up shirt and lavender bow tie, all covered by a dark-purple vest. She also wore a black ankle length skirt and just continued to stare at me with her lavender eyes.

Five girls, all with beige skin, all staring at me with mixed emotions, and all of them relatively Human. "You're... you're not ponies!" I blurted out dumb-founded.

"Well of course not silly-billy!" said the pink one as she came up and ruffled my hair. I panicked at her touch and backed away, hitting the object again that was surprisingly soft.

"Please sir, we won't hurt you," said the dark purple haired girl, "we just want some answers, and I'm sure you have some questions as well. So if you could just put down the armor piece, maybe we could-"

"Armor piece?" I questioned. I looked down at my defense weapon and saw that it was an arm piece to an armor suit. "Ohhh, armed!" I said with realization. My face then contorted as I stared at the pink-haired girl with an annoyed expression. "Pinkie Pie, that was an awful joke to laugh at, even if I intended it or not."

"Ha ha, I can't help it! Even if the joke was a bit lame, the delivery was priceless!" she beamed at me. I could only sigh in frustration as she continued to laugh.

"Hold it! How did you know her name is Pinkie Pie?" inquired the rainbow-haired girl. I began to sweat a bit and had to consider my options. Either I try to tell them the truth, or I could just come up with some excuse.

"You guys wouldn't believe me if I told you," I responded.

"Oh? Try us. You'll find that we are pretty open-minded," said the girl with dark-purple hair. I considered her words, and it did make sense given her world.

"Okay, if you say so," I shrugged as I took in a large breath, "I come from an alternate universe where your lives and adventures are presented in a cartoon show designed for little girls. However, due to the high quality of the show, it was eventually picked up by a large male and female adult audience who call themselves bronies. One brony, my roommate, had forced me to watch this show against my will and is why I know who you are and quite a bit about you. But a little while ago, a strange event occurred where my life was in danger, only to be saved by a mysterious girl who brought me to a crazy room that appeared as I ran towards a wall. While inside, I repaired my watch that you see here," I said while holding up my wrist, "with some of the strange do-dads that were lying around. Before I knew it, I was being thrown through a strange vortex at super-sonic speed that eventually launched me at the ground and made me hit a structure so hard I passed out. Next thing I know, I'm waking up to hear the characters of the show I hate talking as if they were referring to me, and I think you saw what happened next," I finished, panting for air. "Oh, and the show portrays you all as ponies," I quickly added. For a second, they seemed stunned, almost making me fear that I may have broken them. But that was quickly forgotten as they all burst into a terrible fit of laughter.

"Hahaha, a show with us as ponies?! Pfft, yeah right!" the rainbow-haired one hollered. "That was a good one kid! You're okay in my book!" she said while hitting my shoulder a little bit too hard.

"Quite, I mean really Darling, the thought of it is just too hysterical!" said the purple-haired one.

"I will admit, you had me going for a while, but it just doesn't make any sense!" the dark purple-haired one said while giggling.

"You're telling me..." I muttered.

"Yeah, but it was still pretty funny! You just keep coming out with zingers like that, and we're gonna be the best of friends in no time!" Pinkie said as she jumped up and hugged me, causing me to cringe.

"Ahright Pinkie, that's enuf. Poor boy looks like he migh' suffocate," the blond one said as she pulled Pinkie off me. "Now tell us sugarcube, how do you know us? And no fibs this time," she said as she rested an arm around my shoulder and gave me a warm smile.

"Well, time for plan B," I thought. "Ha ha, come on, who wouldn't know the Elements of Harmony, the heroes of Equestria who saved us from Nightmare Moon, rehabilitated Discord, planned and helped save the Canterlot wedding, and helped save the Crystal Empire from King Sombra?" I asked as I grinned nervously.

"There, now that wasn' so hard now was it?" the blonde girl said as she hugged me tightly, a little too tightly for someone who just met me. "By the way, how come we haven' seen you 'round before?"

"Uhh, yeah," I said pushing her off and leaving her with a cocked brow, "I just kinda came here from... Manehattan?" I said almost as a question.

"Well that makes sense," said Pinkie with a grin, "but you don't really have the accent do you?"

"So the names are the same here..." I thought. "Y-yeah. Never was much of a city guy," I said in return.

"Well, you happen to have a name?"

"Uhh, yeah. Ask."

"I did. What's yer name?" questioned the blonde-haired girl.

"Ask."

"Darling, is your hearing alright? She already asked you your name," said the purple-haired girl.

"I know, and I said Ask," I said getting a little irritated.

"Girls..." said a voice from a corner.

"We are! What is your name?" asked rainbow-hair.

"I keep telling you, Ask."

"Girls," said the voice a little louder.

"But we are, we are, WE ARE! WHAT IS YOUR NAME?!" screamed Pinkie as she grabbed my face.

"Ask, Ask, ASK!"

"Girls!" We all turned to see the dark-purple haired girl stare at each of us. "I think he is trying to say that his name is Ask." After a few seconds of staring at each other, the girls all let out a long "Ohhhhhhhhhh."

I couldn't help but slap my face in response. "Thank you Miss Sparkle," I said to the humanoid Alicorn.

"Well, now how about we properly interduce ourselves to you Asky?" said the blonde girl.

"Asky?" I asked with a cocked brow.

"Eeyup, seems to fit you pretty well," she smiled.

"Uhh, sure," I said with a forced grin. With that, the five of them lined up in front of me.

The first to come up was the blonde girl. "Mah name's Applejack," she said while taking my hand and shaking it violently, "I'm the element of honesty and work at Sweet Apple Acres farm down in Ponehville. If yer ever in town, stop on by and we'll be happy to set you up with all the apples you need!"

After I got my arm to stop shaking, I quickly turned to her and replied, "Much obliged Miss Applejack, and I'll be sure to hold you to that offer."

As she walked off with a smile, the pink-haired girl came up and jumped into my arms bridal style. "Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, element of laughter! But you already knew that silly! I work down at Sugarcube Corner as a baker for the Cakes! I make cakes and pies and muffins and cupcakes and pastries! It's really REALLY fun and I love it! But what I really love to do is making everypony smile! And whenever I meet somepony new I help make them feel extra-super welcome by- *gasp*! I gotta go! I'll see you again soon and it was great meeting you!" Pinkie said as she jumped from my arms and left out the door.

The rainbow-haired one came up next and grinned sheepishly at me. "Uhh, sorry. You'll have to get used to that, that's just-"

"Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie? No worries, I get it. (Although I don't plan on getting used to it.)" I said with a reassuring grin to her slightly shocked face.

"Huh, you are pretty cool huh? Well, sorry to say you'll only ever be the second coolest person whenever I'm around!" she said as she hovered in the air with her wings, a wide grin on her mug.

"Of course, who could ever compete with the awesomeness that is the element of loyalty and Equestria's top flyer, Rainbow Dash?" I jeered sarcastically.

"Exactly," she said not getting my comment at all, "but if you're ever in the mood to try and race the best, come and talk to me," she said as she floated away.

"Yeah, I'd love to see your face when I knock you down a peg," I thought.

"You'll have to excuse Rainbow," said the purple-haired girl, "she and humility aren't quite acquainted. In any case, I am Rarity, element of generosity. I am the proprietor of Carousel Boutique in Ponyville, maker of fine suits and dresses. If you are ever in need of wardrobe, I am just the person to call on," she said sweetly in a British accent, extending her hand forward.

"Hmm, I shouldn't, but I can't pass up an opportunity like this," I thought deviously. I quickly took her hand into mine and stooped down to my knee. "Echante Lady Rarity. It's an honor and a pleasure to make acquaintance," I said as I softly kissed her hand.

This caused the girls to gasp in surprise and for Rarity to blush slightly as a rather impressed smile crossed her face. "My my, a gentlecolt. It's good to see that chivalry isn't lost to the world."

"Of course, it is the duty of every gentle-colt (ughh) to treat a lady with the respect and admiration suitable to her stature. And I like to think that the art isn't lost, just that it requires a bit more demand," I said with a small smile.

"And just who was able to teach you be such a gentlecolt good sir?" Rarity asked with her eyes glowing.

"Professor Hershel Layton of Greenwich University and Sebastian Michealis, butler to the Phantomhive family," I said with a grin.

"Well mousier, with your permission, might I ask for a bit of ~enchantment~ with that chivalry?" she asked with half-closed eyes staring into my own.

I thought for a moment about her request and when I had collected my thoughts, I drew back a bit of her hair that was covering her ear and brought my mouth just beside it, and whispered as sweetly as I could, "J'ai cherché longtemps et durement pour découvrir les merveilles et les trésors que le monde a à offrir. Pourtant lorsque les terres portaient loin et ma prime tourné à la pour poussière, ce qui restait était mon plus cher Trésor qui pourrait jamais être égalée en valeur ou spectacle: mon amour pour toi qui allait durer mille vies, le plus grand trésor du monde pourrait ne jamais réclamer." I pulled back to find Rarity's mouth agape, her face extremely red after my little speech. "I hope that I have provided enough enchantment for you Lady Rarity," I said with a sly grin.

"...marry me."

"Sorry?"

"Uh! N-nothing! Just, consider yourself always welcome at Carousel Boutique," she said as she ran away flustered.

Finally, Twilight came up and stared at me with a raised brow. "What did you say to her?"

"I have absolutely no idea," I dead-panned to her.

She laughed at my comment with glee, surprised at my demeanor. "Well, as you apparently know, I'm Twilight Sparkle, the element of magic, prized pupil of Princess Celestia, and Equestria's newest princess," she said proudly as she flourished her wings.

"Oh really," I said, "princess of what?"

She suddenly stared at me blankly, her face growing red. "Well," she said as she started rubbing the back of her head, "I haven't been assigned my own territory or celestial body, so for now, I'm just the princess of Golden Oaks Library in Ponyville."

"Well that figures," I thought to myself. "Hey don't worry about it. I'm sure they're building book forts in your honor all over Equestria as we speak."

"Oooh! Do you think so?" Twilight said as she grabbed my hands and looked at me with excited eyes.

"Uhh, of course Miss Sparkle..." I said uneasily.

She then made this type of squeeing sound as she began to jump around me shouting, "Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!" over and over again. I then backed up again and fell onto the soft obstacle. "Seriously, what do I keep falling on? It's pretty comfy..."

"Mmm, I suppose I can answer that."

As I felt two arms wrap around me I began to quickly panic. "Miss Sparkle, who is holding me right now?!"

"Aww, you've been all over me today and you don't even know my name?" She turned me around and I came face to face with a rather tall woman wearing a regal white gown with several golden accents. She had a rather large bust that reached just up to my neck, while she looked at me with a striking pair of lavender eyes. Her hair was a rainbow pattern that seemed to move on its own, and resting just at the base of her head was a gold crown with an amethyst gem at its center. Completing her look was a long white horn coming from her forehead and a large pair of wings of the same color outstretched for all to see.

"C-Celestia?" I asked my current captor.

At my response, the girls gasped at me failing to address her as a princess, and Celestia raised an eyebrow. "Well," she said staring into my eyes closely, "you do realize who I am, correct?"

"One of the two current monarchs of Equestria for over a millennium and the harbinger of the sun, Celestia, Yes I do know who you are," I said staring back.

"And despite this, you do not address me as princess?" she said with squinted eyes and a frown.

"Sorry, but I find titles rather pointless. It causes people to ignore the person and only focus on the power the title entails. You may raise the sun and are a good person, but as fantastic as that is that is all you are to me. I have no grounds to offer anything else to you as of yet," I responded glaring just as strongly back.

"And you realize that the comfy spot you've been hitting is my chest, correct?"

"What can I say? Honesty is the best policy." The girls continued to stare, flabbergasted at my tenacity. We all stayed silent for a few moments, until finally Celestia spoke.

"You're really not from around here are you?"

"You have no idea."

"So... "

"So?"

"...how comfy is it?" she said with a sly smile.

"Pardon?" I asked with small eyes.

"My chest, how comfy is it?" she repeated, her smile growing more surly.

"I-I wasn't trying to rate it, i-it just happened to feel comfy!" I nearly shouted as my face grew red.

"Well then," she began as her wings folded around me, pulling me in close to her, "~would you like to have a better feel~?" My mind was quickly becoming clouded as I continued to freak out in her wings, unable to reply to the sun goddess's sudden forwardness. "I'm only joking young one." I looked up to Celestia and saw that she was silently giggling at my awkward disposition, satisfied with her teasing. "Gotcha," she said with a teasing yet motherly tone. She finally unfurled her wings and allowed me to slump to the floor as I let out a long sigh to clear my head. "Mr. Ask," Celestia began.

"It's just Ask, actually," I corrected as I picked my self up.

"Ask then. You are the first person in over four centuries to look upon me without intimidation of my title as a princess, and for that, I thank you. I can see that we are to expect very interesting things from you in the time to come," she said as she stared at me with a motherly smile.

"Thank you Celestia, but I don't plan on staying. I'm just passing through. I actually have a home to get back to," I said, squashing any plans she may have for me here.

"Oh," she said as she seemed a bit taken back my statement, "very well then. I cannot help it if you choose not to stay, but please allow me a question if you will."

"Alright," I responded with a bit of suspicion.

"Just how did you come to end up rolling into my throne room?" I opened my mouth to respond, only to quickly close it. What can I tell them? They don't believe I'm from another world, and I doubt they're going to believe my story that my watch brought me here. What am I supposed to say? That I got there by accident, that I was trying a hand at magic and it went horribly wrong, that I lost my home and I had been for forced out of it? And it was this last one that really hit me. I had just been forced from my world. My friends, my enemies, my fellow Independents, my home town Elenoir, everything that I held dear was ripped away from me, and I didn't have any means of getting it back.

My face started to darken at this thought, my eyes losing a bit of there shine and my face frowning. "I... got evicted from my h-home, and by I was f-forcibly ejected me out by a teleportation spell. I d-didn't really know where I would up, and I didn't know if I could ever get back. I... I lost my home, along with all the ties I have there... and I have no way of getting them back," I said shakily as my fists started to clench, unable to help the angst I felt inside. The girls looked at me with sympathy, frowns of there own on there faces.

"I see, I am terribly sorry to hear that," Celestia said as she brought herself close to hug me. I almost immediately pushed her away, my eyes going white at her touch, causing each of them to look at me nervously.

"Uhh, n-no. I-it's fine. I-it's was j-just a half-life, nothing worth missing," I lied looking away. The girls continued to look upon me with pity, each trying to come up with something to use to try and help.

Suddenly, Twilight's eyes brightened as a large smile formed on her face. "Princess!" she screamed as we all flinched, "this is perfect!"

"What's perfect?" I asked with a bit of dread.

Twilight didn't say anything as she came up to Celestia and whispered something into her ear. Just as suddenly, she smiled as widely as Twilight did. "That is a most excellent idea Twilight!"

"What is?" I pushed.

"Well, I suppose that settles it!" Celestia said with finality.

"What is settled?!" I screamed.

"You're new life!" Twilight screamed in my face with glee.

"What?" I asked blankly.

"As Twilight is to become a princess of her own province in time, Golden Oaks Library will soon lose its librarian and will be forced to shut down. This will greatly affect Ponyville as it is the only reference archive the town has to offer," Celestia explained.

"Reference archive? It just looked to me that it was just Twilight's personal book cache," I thought.

"With that in mind, I do hereby make this official decree. Ask of Manehattan," she said as she looked down upon me, "I do hereby appoint you to be Twilight Sparkle's first apprentice!"

"What?!" I said with a contorted face.

"You are to shadow her work at Golden Oaks and understand her former duties, which include but are not limited to managing Golden Oaks' catalogue of books, keeping track of book distribution, tending to the archiving of the local newspapers..." Are they kidding me? A desk job in Ponyville? A Desk Job?! IN PONYVILLE?!

"... regularly importing new literature, and your three most important duties." This made me turn to her with an expression of anxiety. "Regular care of the Elements of Harmony located out on display in the library, training in learning to take care of Twilight's assistant, Spike, along with other citizens of Ponyville and my personal favorite." she said with a proud smile that only made me more nervous. "You are to document your findings on the magic of friendship that you learn during your apprenticeship and report them back to me."

I could only stand there as a mix of rage and disgust slowly manifested in my mind. I was to research and care for that stupid pseudo-science!? "And fear not, Twilight and her friends will be more than happy to assist you as you adapt to the townspeople and your new surroundings. I will be more than happy to offer lodging and a steady salary as long as your duties are performed properly. And if you prove up to the mark, I may one day fully transfer Twilight's duties to you!" Celestia finished.

"Uhh, thank you milady but-"

"Yeehaaawwaww!" Applejack hollered, interrupting my rebuttal. "Well that sounds mighteh fine princess! A new neighbor in Ponehville! And a man at that!" She then grabbed me around the shoulder and brought me low. "Listen, I'm not sayin' that that library stuff ain't impertant, but if yer ever in the mood fer some real work, stop on by the farm. We could always use an extra pair of strong erms to help with the apple-bucking," she said with a wink.

"And if you ever have a hankering for some awesome pranks, just look me up. Seriously, just look up, I'll be around. Besides, I still want to have a race and gauge your stamina," Rainbow Dash said with a toothy smirk and wink.

"A-and I am always looking for new styles and forms to experiment on, and I would be more than willing to compensate for your time. So if you are ever in the spirit to try some new fashions, Carousel Boutique is always open for your business Monsieur," Rarity added with a nervous smile and blush as she came close to my ear and quickly whispered, "and also if you desire to offer more of your gentlemanly quips."

"Well then," Twilight said, "I believe you just got a new home Ask, and I just got a new roommate!"

"In that case, I suppose I will leave you to my loyal subjects Ask," Celestia said, "Welcome to your new Equestrian life!" Celestia announced to all. "Now if you follow the girls outside, I have arranged for a carriage to take you all back to Ponyville. You may leave when ready." And with that, Celestia's horn began to glow and after a few seconds, she disappeared in a flash of blinding light.

"Alright ladies, let's head out!" Twilight exclaimed as she started for the throne room door.

"Now just hold on Twi'. What happened to Shy?" Applejack asked. My body started to tense up again.

"Ughh, I see her! Just hold on!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she flew to behind Celestia's throne. "Come on Fluttershy! It's time to go! Besides, there's somepony new you've got to meet!" Rainbow Dash said as she pulled on a bright yellow pair of wings.

"Okay, time to go. Now!" I thought.

"Ugh, come on sugarcube! Ya can't keep doin' this when somepony new pops into yer life!" Applejack said as she joins Rainbow Dash in grabbing Fluttershy's wings.

"Run. Run now. This freaky dream is about to become a nightmare. Run now before she comes out!"

"Fluttershy! Come on already!" Twilight exclaimed as her horn illuminated, wrapping a pink aura around what looked like a pair of female legs. Rarity had headed to the front of the pack and and begun to pry at what I could only assume to be her friend's arms. As they continued to grunt and struggle, I had finally decided that it was time to go, both for my sake and for theirs. I quickly spun around and began to run for the door, when all of a sudden, I heard a large pop. Turning around to see what had happened, I saw a large blur of pink and yellow flying at me at a dangerous speed. I outstretched my arms as I was slammed down onto the ground, the wind knocked out of me as I caught the object. As the pain started to settle, I felt something soft graze my nose. Opening my eyes, I saw that it was a bright yellow feather that had fallen from a just as yellow Pegasus wing.

As I examined the object closer, I saw that it appeared to be a rather small girl, around five-five, approximately my age, wearing a long green floral skirt that reached her ankles and an oversized yellow sweater. To the side of my head was a large amount of long, silky, rose-pink hair. After a few seconds, the mass of hair pulled itself up, rubbing its head with a free hand. "Ow," she said in a delicately soft voice. She then removed the hair that concealed her face, and finally took a good look at me.

Now, I don't know what scientists or romantics say about love at first sight, but I was definitely feeling something. Before me, with snow white skin, soft pink lips, hair styled so that the left side of her face could be concealed, was the creature that evoked an army of emotions that stormed from my feet to my brain. Staring down at me with her aqua blue eyes, wings fully erect, was the element of kindness and the caretaker of the woodland creatures of the Everfree forest, Fluttershy. I didn't know what to say, what to do. I felt anger, guilt, annoyance, sympathy, nausea, and whole slew of emotions I couldn't explain. Do I help her up, demand she get off of me, run? After few seconds that felt like days of just staring into each others eyes, I finally tried to diffuse the situation.

"Uh, h-hi?"

I thought that that would be delicate enough not to spook her and send her off the handle. Unfortunately, my arms around her, she on top of me, and the overly excessive amount of staring only served to make even the slightest action set Fluttershy off. Before I could say anything else, she screamed, slammed my head against the floor, and used me as a launch pad to fly back to her friends in a panic. As I began to get up, gripping my chest in agony, I managed to utter four words, "I... hate Equestria girls."

---

"We are really really REALLY sorry about that Ask," Twilight consoled. It took some doing, but we managed to get us all into the carriage to Ponyville and were in mid-flight. I was gripping my head as a migraine was starting to form.

"No. I'm sorry," I said as I looked towards the girls. "Sorry I didn't lobotomize Trisha from loving you when I had the chance," I thought to myself.

All six of us sat within the carriage as we made our way to Ponyville, with Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy on one side and Rarity, Twilight, and myself on the other. Tensions were high, as Fluttershy was still afraid to look in my direction while the others were continuing to apologize for her actions.

"You must realize Ask that poor Fluttershy is-"

"-frightened easily, I know. I realized that from her name," I said as I stared out the window at the earth below us.

"Er-yes... well... why don't we try to get to know each other better?" Rarity proposed.

"Sounds like a plan Rare," Applejack said, "so Asky, where ya from?"

"...I come from Elenoir," I said, not even bothering to turn around.

"Elenoir? Never heard of it," Rainbow commented.

"I would be surprised if you did."

"Oh? Why is that?" Twilight inquired.

"Let's just say that Elenoir is a long, long way away from here," I melancholily replied.

"Okay...? So, how did you end up in Manehattan?" asked Twilight.

"Wanted to get away from the boring everyday pattern I guess. But I still miss that old place."

"You have any friends back home?" Applejack asked.

"Here and there, although I can honestly say I do have a best friend, Rito. There also was my flatmate, Trisha, although most of the time our relationship consisted of her beating the stuffing out of me."

"Haha, sounds like my kind of girl," Rainbow sneered.

"Yeah, that doesn't encourage your fans to think you're a lesbian at all," I thought sarcastically.

"Speaking of relationships," Rarity asked as she and the others moved a bit closer to me, "is there a special somepony in your life at the moment?"

"No, and I plan to keep it that way. Relationships are only distractions when it comes to getting real things done, both romantic and platonic," I said as I gently pushed them away.

"So, you're saying that you don't find value in relationships? Even if it's just friendship?" Twilight asked in a concerned tone.

"No I do not. I've got better things to do with my time. To quote a phrase I once heard, 'The fate of Equestria does not rest on me making friends!'"

"That is uncanny! That's exactly what I said on my first day in Ponyville, before I met my friends and-"

"-discovered the truth and power in the magic of friendship in order to vanquish Nightmare Moon three years ago in the old castle of the royal sisters. Yes, I remember," I interrupted in annoyance.

"Humph, well Smartypants, if you know so much, why don't you tell me what we were for nightmare night two years ago!" said Twilight in a huff.

"Rainbow Dash was a shadowbolt and went around scaring people with a storm cloud, Applejack was a scarecrow and managed the games and activities at the nightmare night festival, Rarity was going to go as Princess Luna but thought it inappropriate given what happened to the real Princess Luna that night, you were Star-Swirl the Bearded and worked to get Princess Luna accepted by the people of Ponyville, Pinkie was a chicken that was overriding your progress by her screams that Luna was a monster, and Fluttershy didn't go as anything and stayed at her home all night long because she was Afraid!" I finished with heavy emphasis on the last comment.

The girls looked at me stunned at what they had just heard. "H-how-?"

"I have my ways Miss Sparkle. And that's Mr. Smartypants thank you. I am not your childhood rag doll."

"What!? Okay, explain to me how you knew about that now!" Twilight said as her face grew more and more red.

"You didn't think word would get around that the prized pupil of Princess Celestia had enchanted her entire town in a fit of mental instability over being tardy with an assignment?" I dead-panned. The others were about to argue for Twilight, but I quickly added, "And that her friends had all the potential to stop it from happening if they had taken their friend's situation a little more seriously?" At this, they all said nothing, embarrassed in their past mistake. "Relax everypony, it was in the past and you learned from it. That's all there is to it," I said trying to snap them out of it.

"Y-yeah, you're right," Twilight conceded.

"Now, may I ask some questions to you all?" I asked. I was met by a number of different agreements, all except from Fluttershy, who seemed to shake at the question. "Alright," I began, "why do we use terms like everypony and colt and mare if we are not ponies?"

Twilight raised her hand and explained, "Well, as we all know, we had evolved from varying equine creatures with differing qualities. Some had horns to channel magic, some had wings to fly and control weather, and others had advanced strength to work land. As time had passed and we developed our current language, we drew upon those equine origins and incorporated equine terms into our speech."

"So there are still equines around today?"

"Yes sir, the runts o' the litter. They didn't have any o' the fancy Pegasi or Unicorn assets an' weren't as strong as Earth equines, but still managed not teh be snuffed out by nature. Eventually, we set 'em to be used for transport an' farm work," Applejack added.

"Okay, one more question just for now," I began as I was starting to piece it all together. "Where are your cutie marks?"

At this question, all five girls immediately gave me a disgusted and outraged look that made me raise an eyebrow. "What?" I questioned.

"How dare you."

My attention turned to the source of the voice, revealing it to be Fluttershy. "HOW DARE YOU!" she said as she got in my face. "You think that you have the right to treat my friends so poorly, and then you ask such a personal question? Well I think not mister! You claim to be a gentlecolt and you ask that?! I have half a mind to report you to the authorities right this instant! Didn't your mother teach you about cutie marks and how sacred they are to people, especially mares?!" she finished as her infuriated eyes were centimeters from my own.

My mom... now thats something I haven't talked about in a while. Almost instantly, my eyes grew dark at Fluttershy's words. I pulled my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, looking down at my watch. I began to frown as Fluttershy continued to stare down at me. "No actually... I... I don't remember ever having a Mom... or a Dad."

Almost immediately, Fluttershy backed off and her eyes grew soft and sympathetic. "Y-you d-don't remember your parents?" She asked in a quiet voice.

"How can you not remember having parents?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I just don't, alright?" I said as my body began to shake uncontrollably.

"What about your brothers or sisters, aunts and uncles?" Applejack questioned with worry.

"I told you I can't remember. Now can we please drop the issue?" I said as I buried my head in my legs.

"I-I didn't mea-"

"Now arriving in Ponyville!" screamed the lead Pegasus pulling the carriage. With a few rattles and shakes, the carriage hit solid ground and eventually came to a halt.

"Well, shall we then?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"B-but-"

"Great!" I said sliding through the door and and landing on the soft earth. I quickly grabbed the door handle and held open the carriage door for the girls to exit. "Ladies," I said with a small bow. Although a little wary, the girls eventually filed out past me, each offering a thank you to both myself and the Pegasi at the carriages helm. "Thank you gentlemen," I said as I shut the carriage door and followed the girls.

"Well Ask," Twilight said as she led me forward, "welcome to Ponyville!"

Around me were several buildings that looked to be modeled after old medieval cottages. Most were made of wood with hay making up the roofs. I could spot the town hall in the distance, along with Sugarcube Corner to the east. Yet one thing that seemed off was from what I saw of Ponyville on the show, it didn't look like anyone was in town.

"Um, Miss Sparkle? Is the town normally this empty?" I asked.

"No... but I have a pretty good idea why..." Twilight said with a grin towards the other girls, they sharing the same expression.

"Alright? Well... shall we see this library I'm apparently going to take up?" I requested as we continued to walk through town.

"Absolutely!" Twilight said. As we continued to walk through town, no one appeared at all. There were no Pegasi flying around, no people walking in the street, nothing. Eventually a large oak tree fashioned with windows, a large red door, and a few balconies came into view. To the side of the door was a sign that showed the image of an open book.

"Golden Oaks Library: Ponyville's finest collection of Literature for almost a century," I read as the sign came into view.

"And I can personally vouch for that," Twilight said proudly. "Welcome to your new home here in Ponyville."

My new home, huh? Well... it will do for now. "Well, shall we go in?" I asked.

"Uh, you go on ahead sugarcube. We, uhh, have teh, uhhh," Applejack said as she looked like she was physically struggling with her words, "get, uhhh-"

"Our fittings!" Rainbow Dash screamed as she brought her hand over Applejack's mouth.

"You're fittings?" I questioned suspiciously.

"Yeah... for our... winter hats!" she said with a toothy smile.

"It's the middle of spring," I said with accusing eyes.

"Uhh, can't be too prepared! Come on Applejack, Rarity!" Rainbow quickly said as she whisked Applejack and Rarity behind the library.

"And I've got some things to do for Princess Celestia. Why don't you go on in and make yourself comfortable and I will see you soon, alright Ask?"

"Actually I'd appreciate it if you-" Before I could finish, Twilight's horn glowed and she disappeared in a flash, leaving me alone with Fluttershy. I turned to the library and reached my hand forward towards the handle, when I suddenly felt a chill down my spine.

"Nothing is coincidence. Analyze and see what cannot be seen."

As DJ's words echoed in my brain, I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. "Okay. Five people who were meant to supervise my move to a new place I never have been to before had decided to leave me for completely illegitimate reasons just before the place where we were intended to go, in a town where no one appears to be around. Something is behind this door that they want me to see alone, something they couldn't tell me. They expect me to go through this door," I analyzed as I moved my head towards a balcony, "so they won't expect me to go through a window." Before I could begin my climb, I felt a hand grasp my shoulder. I turned to find Fluttershy looking at me with sad eyes. "Yes?" I asked curtly.

She seemed to be rather intimidated, as she looked at me rather fearfully. "I'm sorry."

"Pardon?"

"I'm sorry," she said, looking like she was on the verge of tears, "I'm sorry for what I said back in the carriage. I-I didn't know that-"

"That I can't remember anything about my family? No, I didn't think you did," I said dryly as I began to climb the tree.

"B-but if I could just-"

"It's alright Fluttershy, just drop it."

"M-maybe I could-"

"It's alright. Leave it!" I said as I continued to grow angry.

"Please, if I could just..." Fluttershy continued on with this as I made my way up to Twilight's balcony, flying beside me the entire way. My progress wasn't being helped as her voice continued to barrage my ear. Ughh, that voice. That squeaky, irritating, smooth,...sensitive,...delicate,...sweet,

caring, surprisingly soothing, cute, sex- what am I saying?! I shook myself out of my trance as I finally made it to the window.

"Look Fluttershy. You really want to repay me?"

"Oh yes! What can I do?" she said as she flew up to me and looked at me with a large grin and big eyes.

"F-first, please keep a bit of distance from me please," I said as I pushed her a few feet from me, "and second."

"Yes?" she asked expectantly.

"Stop talking, period."

"O-oh, ...alright." Fluttershy said in a hurt voice as she lowered her head and landed on the ground, taking refuge within her hair. It took a while, but I managed to pry the window open and we slipped inside. It was rather dark, but I noticed a bed nearby and made quick dash underneath the covers. "Now, what are you Equestrians planning?" I crawled to the outer edge of the covers, but I was quickly shocked when the covers were ripped from the bed and the lights flew on.

"SURPRISE!"

I was greeted by a barrage of dozens of voices and smiling faces as they surrounded the bed near me. My eyes grew extremely small as I was lifted off the bed and thrown to the center of the library. "Surprise Asky!" I whipped my head around to see Pinkie Pie as she blew a party-favor in my face and slapped a bright-green party hat onto my head.

"Pinkie Pie, please stop trying to cause me to have a stroke! And what is all this?! How did you know I would come through the window?! And why are you using that stupid nickname?!" I questioned as I gripped my heart.

"Duh! It's your 'Welcome to Ponyvile' party silly! I throw one whenever a new face comes to town! It helps to get them to know the townspeople better and to help them make a ton of friends! My Pinkie Sense, thats my ability to make little predictions by the way, told me to look out a window for something fun, and there you were! Oh, and as for the name, when I heard it from Applejack, I realized she was right! It does fit a cutie like you!" she said as she rubbed my cheeks with her hands.

"Pinkie Pieh, gett yer heinds off mee face!" I said as she continued to contort my face.

"Hee hee heh, allllllrightyyyy!" Pinkie said as she let my cheeks go.

"Now," Applejack said coming up from behind me, "why don't we interduce you to the people of Ponehville?" Before I could contest, Applejack grabbed me around my shoulders and began to whisk me from guest to guest, giving off their names and their occupation. I managed to recognize quite a few of them, such as Lyra, Bon Bon, Octavia, Vinyl Scratch, Berry Punch, Colgate, Carrot Top, Big Macintosh, Granny Smith, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, the Mane 6, even Derpy Hooves and her goofy mug. I'll admit, it was heavily surreal to see them as human beings as opposed to colorful ponies, and I will say it was an improvement.

Eventually Applejack saw that I was worn out from all the introductions, so she let me take a break beside a large vat. As I was about to take a seat, Rainbow Dash came up behind me and dragged me down to my knees in front of the vat. "Alright Asky boy! Time for some good old Pinkie Pie Party Apple-Bobbing! Rules are simple, dunk your head in, find an apple, pull it back up with your teeth, and you are a winner," she squeaked as she grabbed my head and prepared to dunk me.

"Rainbow Dash, are you nuts!?"

"Relax, it's all in good fun. Oh, and you might want to watch out for some of the extra surprises put in there."

"Wait a sec-" Before I could get out another word, Rainbow Dash hurled my head down into the vat as I began to suffocate. As water sloshed all around me, something clammy had found its way around my head, causing me to jump back in fright. I tried looking for help, but all I could see was dark walls all around me. I raised a hand and felt something cool and slippery around my head, and it felt alive. Almost immediately I realized what the object was and began to grow annoyed at Pinkie. "Someone, geet thes thoopid aleigater uff me!" I screamed through my muzzle. Pinkie eventually came and removed the object from my face as she held it forward, revealing her toothless pet alligator, Gummy.

"Aww, even Gummy likes you. I have a really good feeling about you Asky. I can make a Pinkie Promise right now that people here are gonna love you just as much as you love them," Pinky said as she led me to a confections table.

"Believe me Pinkie when I say you would be wrong there," I said in between strained breaths.

"Awwwww, you mean you're gonna love them more than they love you? That's so nice of you Asky! But just remember," Pinkie began as she suddenly came close to my face with a dead serious look, "I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU MORE," she finished in a very harsh whisper.

"N-noted," I said in a rush.

"Excellent to hear that Ask," Rarity said as she came to our table, "it's good to hear your adapting well to your new home," she said with a smile.

"Lady Rarity, I don't think-urkk!" I was unable to finish my counter as a large piece of cake was lodged into my mouth, smearing icing all across my lips and cheeks. Imagine eating ten pixie-sticks, eleven packs of pop rocks, twenty chocolate covered marshmallows, and topped it all off with a liter of pop. That is only a fraction of the sugar and energy I felt from eating that one piece of cake. I immediately spit it out as I began to jitter from all the sugar packed in as Twilight quickly approached with a napkin.

"Sorry about that, Pinkie Pie gets a little bit too hyper when it comes to parties," she explained as she wiped the icing from my face. "By the way, why did you come in through the window anyway?"

"Yeah! Were you trying to think outside the box when it comes to party arrivals?!" Pinkie asked me excitedly.

"No Chancellor Puddinghead, that would be too common. I was trying to think inside the chimney!" I sarcastically screamed.

"Really?! Yes! Applejack, you owe me four bits! It caught on!" Pinkie said as she ran towards her farmer friend.

Rarity then came up and brought one of her arms around my own, linking herself to me rather tightly. "Yes, well, do you mind using some of that thinking while escorting me to meet my lady-friends at the day spa tomorrow Monsieur Ask?" Rarity asked with batted eyes. "It would mean so much to me if you could display your prowess of speech as you did earlier today."

"Milady, I don't think I would be able to offer much that would impress ladies of your status," I protested, but Rarity just swooned again at my words.

"You just called me Milady! And you are so modest! Oh, Aloe and Lotus will simply die to meet you! In fact, they must!"

"B-but-"

"It's settled then! Tomorrow at noon you will accompany Fluttershy and me to the spa!" Rarity said with finality. I quickly backed away from her, attempting to separate from the girls and get as far away as possible. However, a rather loud pop song started to play that bounced all around the room.

Suddenly Pinkie appeared out of nowhere and quickly grabbed me by my collar. "Aww yeah! This is my jam! Come on Asky, let's dance!" As Pinkie brought me to the dance floor, she began to shake and move to the rhythm of the song, waiting for me to join her.

"Pinkie Pie, I don't dance," I said as I tried to back away from the party animal.

"Don't be silly Asky! Just let the music in and let it move you! Like this!" Pinkie began to move faster to the music and her moves became a lot less controlled. I'll admit she could dance pretty well, but she had almost hit a few of the guests that were watching, and was coming very close to me.

"Pinkie Pie! Slow down!"

"I can't hear you, I'm too busy letting the music move me!" Pinkie yelled with closed eyes as she moonwalked.

"I mean it Pinkie Pie, slow down or you're gonna hurt somepony!"

"I can't! The rhythm's got me and won't let me go!" she said as she sambaed closer to me.

"Pinkie Pie, don't you dare-" but it was too late, as Pinkie grabbed my hands and wrapped one around her waist. A slow Latin-esque song started to play as she grabbed a rose out of a nearby vase and clenched it with her teeth. As she led me forward, I kept my pace with her footing and managed to perform quite well.

As we tangoed across the floor, I had brought her down into a dip as she stared up at my face. "And you said you couldn't dance?" she said with a grin.

"I said I didn't dance, not that I couldn't," I said as I pulled her up. We continued to move and spin for a few more minutes, until I noticed that Pinkie had begun to turn rather quickly. As I tried to keep up, I realized that there was no way I could manage to match her speed, and worse yet, my hands were slipping. As I continued to hold on for dear life as we formed a small pink tornado, my hands had finally broke from Pinkie's body, and I was hurled across the room. Next thing I know, I'm in a pile of rubble just outside the library. I turned back to see through a familiarly shaped hole that Pinkie finally stopped as she took a bow before cheering party guests. "That's it, I'm out of here." With that, I scrapped myself off the floor and fled into the heart of town.

---

"Some welcome party. I get thrown around a room like a rag doll as I'm forced to meet random strangers, almost get water-logged, put into a shock induced by sugar, and thrown through a wall as people cheered for my attacker," I thought as I made my way down the empty streets. "This is what I meant by a waste of time. I can't be bothered by stuff like this. I should be back in Elenoir, helping Rito oversee the legal proceedings of the Silver Serpents, making sure Trisha isn't dead on her work station, and trying to apologize to Kotegawa for abandoning her."

Funny. All these things had caused me so much grief back at home, yet I can't get them out of my mind. I dug through by bag until I found my iPhone and accessed my photo albums, beginning to look back at my old pictures of Elenoir. I saw the picture taken on the day I smelted my sword, Artemis, with DJ proudly overlooking me as I brandished my new weapon. I saw the victory shot I took with Lea as we had just beaten Sonata and Rito in a paintball war, our blue paint pistols high in the air as we wore big grins on our faces, while Rito and Sonata lay on the ground in a dizzy trance. I saw a shot of me balancing a pile of books on my head as I led Sonata by hand to a tea table in a careful manner, sentimental smiles on each of our faces. I found one of me and Kotegawa under a tree during winter, with her resting on my shoulder as were tied together by a bright pink scarf she had wanted to share. I even found a pic of Trisha holding me close to her chest, our eyes closed in contentment by being near each other as she was stroking my hair. Memory after memory came back to me, each causing my heart to grow heavier and heavier.

"Um, M-mister Ask?" I quickly brought my phone back to my bag as I turned to see Fluttershy flying towards me.

"What is it Fluttershy?" I asked tersely.

"Uh, T-Twilight and the others are..." she muttered very quietly.

"What?"

"T-Twilight a-and the others..." she almost whispered again.

"A little louder?" I asked, my anger rising.

"T-Twilight a-a-and..." she couldn't even finish as she hid behind her hair and began to whimper.

"Geez Fluttershy, if you can't tell me what it is you want, don't waste my time," I said as I started to walk away.

"W-wait! Where are y-you going?" she asked.

"Anywhere but here."

"B-but you s-said that you-"

"No, I didn't say. I didn't say or ask for anything," I said as I turned back and marched up to Fluttershy. "I didn't ask to become an apprentice, I didn't ask for a party, and I didn't ask for your sympathy!"

"P-please don't..." she whimpered as she fell to the ground.

"Ugh, you see. This!" I said as I pointed down towards her. "This is why I can't stand you! You always are afraid! You can't even look at your shadow without flinching! Why should I accept anything from you if you can't take care of yourself?!"

"I'm j-just trying to help. Y-you're all alone here and-"

"And that gives you the right to pity me?! To see me as some broken, injured, or naive creature that needs you to hold my hand, telling me that everything's alright?! That you can somehow understand how it feels to have everything you ever had, everything you clung to because you had nothing else, taken away in an instant?!"

"W-why are you doing this?" Fluttershy said as her eyes started to tear up. "Why do you not like me?"

"Not like you?" I said, stooping down to her eye level, "You give me no reason to like you. Quite frankly, I despise you, all of you. You and your friends that believe in those namby-pamby Elements of Harmony. Friendship isn't magic, Loyalty is for the stupid, Generosity is for the arrogant, Honesty is for the ignorant, Laughter is irrelevant in the world, and Kindness? Kindness is just a word that you use to cover your motives to obtain something from someone else. You aren't kind because that's who you are Fluttershy, you're kind because you fear anything else will cause you pain. You're not kind, you're just meeting a transaction, security in exchange for submission. And you know what Fluttershy?" I said staring dead into her eyes, peering right into her soul, "That just makes you pathetic."

She couldn't hold it in anymore. Tears poured down Fluttershy's face as she began to sob openly. I was quickly snapped out of my trance and looked down at what I had done. "F-Fluttershy... I-" But she didn't give me a chance to explain. She quickly outstretched her wings and flew off towards the opposite side of town. I've seen girls cry in front of me before, but that was the first time that one cried because of me.

---

As I continued to walk through town, I couldn't help a nagging feeling in the back of my mind. "What was I supposed to do, lie? I hate Fluttershy and I told her as such. I'm not wrong here," I thought aloud.

"Really? You think it's right to cause innocent girls to cry just because you've got problems?" said a small voice in the back of my mind.

"Hey, I don't have problems! Besides, they got on my nerves, and they pried into my private life."

"They were concerned and trying to help you, just like everything and everyone else in your life."

"I don't need fixing! All I need is a way to get back to Elenoir."

"You NEED an attitude adjustment. If not to do the right thing, then to at least be in the good graces of the Equestrians, especially since it doesn't look like you'll be leaving anytime soon."

"I don't need to do anything, I can manage on my own."

"Is that what you said seven years ago? When Trisha found you?"

"Great, even I'm bringing up the past now? That was then, this is now."

"And now, you need to go and apologize to Fluttershy!"

"Why is everyone so keen that I spend time with that coward?!"

"I'm your conscience. If I'm telling you to do so, you know you truly want to."

"No, that just means based on my experiences and culture, my conscience had developed to not mimic my true understanding of the world, almost to the point of a separate personality."

"Or you're in denial. Look, This isn't getting us anywhere, so can you at least do me a favor?"

"Fine, what?"

"Look in your bag, pull out the plush you have of the pony you supposedly hate, the one you just made cry, look at it very closely, and if you can honestly say that you don't feel some measure of guilt for what you did, then go on with your plan. If not, you know what to do."

As I looked into my bag, I pulled out Trisha's Fluttershy plush and stared into its eyes. As I continued to stare, everything else in the world seemed to black out, leaving me alone with the plush and my thoughts. At first, I felt irritation and annoyance at the plush, but then I really saw her eyes, her sad, scared eyes. The kind of eyes that screamed help me over and over, that begged for someone to come along and just pull you away from all your troubles. Slowly, I started to lose sight of the plush toy and began to see a scared ten-year-old boy standing at a street corner, cold, wet, and crying from the rain with those same eyes. Everything seemed hopeless for him, yet he couldn't explain why or how he ended up where he did or what he was going to do. Yet when all seemed lost, out off all the darkness and cold around him, there was one figure out of the masses that seemed to radiate light and warmth as she came close and offered a hand to him. He was initially wary, but he quickly dismissed those doubts as she offered him a warm smile that seemed to burst with assurance, taking her hand as she led him away from his lonely corner. I quickly shook out of my trance as my perception of my environment returned, the plush still in my hand. As I placed it back in my bag, I look towards the direction Fluttershy had fled in, my fist clenched. "...Rrrgh! Damn these ponies! They drive me to be a butthead!" I said as I began to run back for her.

---

I kept calling for Fluttershy all along my path, looking for anything that could lead me to her. Eventually, I was able to find yellow feathers just outside of town. I continued to run, my mind shifting between realities as I continued to reflect. I saw myself run through the rain as I was being chased by rabid dogs. I saw Trisha run up to the street corner as she saw what looked to be an orphaned boy lost and alone. I saw myself chase after a stupid orange-haired kid while trying to get my favorite hat back, and I saw myself climbing and scaling the buildings of Elenoir, making one final jump to a ledge that was just out of reach. But I didn't fall, as that same orange-haired kid caught my free hand and pulled me up to meet my teachers and my caretakers, all looking on me with a smile.

"Ahhhhh!" shouted a voice on the wind. I quickly stopped to find the source of the scream that had just blasted by. Looking north, I scrambled as fast as my legs could carry me, fearing the worst of who the screamer was and why they did so. As a forest came into view, I quickly darted in and continued to search for my target, knowing fully well the dangers that lurked inside. Finally, I had found my screamer, and as I feared, it turned out to be Fluttershy. She was sprawled on the ground as she tried to struggle to her feet, her leg caught between two rather large stones. Beside her was a small boy with green hair that wore a bright purple robe along with dark purple slacks, who at the moment was incapacitated. I then noticed what caused Fluttershy to scream.

Standing just before her were seven canines with glowing green eyes, bodies made from wood, and fangs bared with hunger as the smell of their breathe reeked like a garbage compactor. "Timberwolves," I thought silently from my hiding spot. They silently circled around Fluttershy, waiting for a chance to strike. One of them finally saw their opportunity and lunged at Fluttershy. However, before it got a chance to bite its victim, I emerged from behind the trees and brought it to the ground with a good ram, where it broke apart into a heap of twigs.

"A-Ask?!" Fluttershy asked with surprise. I didn't respond as more of the timberwolves started to attack, each out for blood for their fallen comrade. I continued to punch and kick the wolves away from their meal, each crumpling into a mass of sticks, and after a few minutes, each wolf was down and I finally managed to catch my breath. I quickly turned and started to work to free Fluttershy's leg. "Y-you SAVED me?!" she asked flabbergasted.

"Don't say that yet, this isn't over," I said as I struggled to remove the boulders that held her trapped. As I continued to work, I failed to see one of the heaps of sticks be engulfed in a green aura as it flew back together.

"Look out!" Fluttershy screamed at me. I quickly turned to see a timberwolf charge at me with its jaws open. Being too close to stop, I threw my right arm up in defense as it sunk its teeth down hard into my flesh. Choking back a scream, I rammed its skull against a boulder, removing its teeth as they left fresh wounds. The other wolves were reviving faster and I continued to use any method I could to push them away. Yet as hard as I tried, I was growing tired as the endless barrage of wolves was quickly gaining the advantage.

"This isn't working," I thought to myself. "They won't stay down, and my attacks only seem to make them madder. I need to get rid of them permanently, but how?" Suddenly, a stray bolt of lightning blasted by, striking a nearby branch and making it catch fire. "That will work," I said as I made my way to the branch. Yet something wasn't right. As I moved, time seemed to slow down around me as Sonata's voice filled my mind.

"Anyone can simply fight others, we all have the tools to do that. Yet a warrior and a hero knows when it is best to fight and when it is best to defend. What separates us from animals is our ability to know how to preserve life when able."

She wasn't wrong. Sure the Timberwolves had attacked me, but they were only doing it out of instinct, and they didn't deserve to die for it. Plus, I don't think anyone will find it right for me to kill anything around here. My task was to defend Fluttershy, not harm the wolves. I stopped in my tracks to face the wolves as I started to formulate a new plan.

"Okay, I can't beat them by hand, and fire will kill them. Attacking blindly is only making them angry, so I have to find a way to make them want to leave. Granny Smith got rid of Timberwolves by banging a pot. Why did that work? ... Of course!" I thought, "The timberwolves are still canine even if they are made of wood. And one gift and curse about dogs is... sensitive ears! And I have just the thing for that!" I quickly reached into my pack and grabbed out my phone, preparing the app to be used. "Oh... wait," I said as I was about to engage my plan, "My ears are just as sensitive. If I do this..." But before I could ponder any further, one of the wolves of the pack had turned their attention back to Fluttershy and began to charge at her. It was a close call, but I managed to knock it away just before it made contact. There was no more time to think about this. "Fluttershy, cover your ears," I commanded.

"B-but-"

"Fluttershy, I'm trying to be kind here. Now cover your ears," I said with a look of desperation. At hearing me my words, she obediently clasped her hands over her ears and waited. "Well," I said looking with dread at my phone, "this better work."

I engaged my phone and a long, shrill, high-pitched whistle blasted all around us, hitting each of our ears like nails on a chalkboard. The wolves howled with pain as they fell to the ground, while I tried to block out the pain as I held my hand to the phone to keep the sound going. After a few seconds, the dogs began to run as far as they could from us, hoping to escape the wretched sound. I finally let go of my phone and fell to the ground, my ears practically bleeding from the noise. I placed my phone in my bag as I waddled over to Fluttershy, her hands still over her ears and her eyes shut as she cowered. I took her hands down from her head and sweetly whispered, "They're gone now." Fluttershy opened her eyes to see me with a small smile on my face. "You're safe."

The branch that had previously been on fire had now extinguished, and still looked pretty solid for what I had in store for it. I quickly picked it up and dug it into a crevice between the two boulders. As I continued to pull, the two seemed to be slowly separating, and after one good pull, the boulders fell away, freeing Fluttershy's foot and rendering her mobile again. As she tried to stand, she almost immediately fell from pain. I quickly caught her and lowered her back to the ground. "Easy does it. Now," I said as I pulled out a first-aid kit, "you can't stand, right?" She nodded. "Okay, I'm going to need to examine your foot to see what's going on, which means I'm going to need to touch you. Is that okay?" Although a bit hesitant, Fluttershy agreed and I began to push back her skirt so her leg was visible. "No broken bones, and nothing seems to be dislocated. Just a bit of a sprained ankle from the stones. Nothing to be worried about, but I do want to ice it just in case." I quickly brought out an ice pack and proceeded to wrap it around Fluttershy's leg. As I worked, Fluttershy was eyeing me with fear and confusion.

"...You're bleeding," she whispered. I looked up from my work and noticed she was right. The bite from the timberwolf didn't pierce any bone, but it did leave a number of deep cuts along my forearm, bright red trickles of blood flowing out of the openings.

"Just a scratch, nothing I can't patch up later. There." With the pack firmly secure on Fluttershy's ankle, I wrapped up my medical supplies and placed them back into my carrier bag. "Now, for our second patient. Wake up kid," I said as I gently shook the boy Fluttershy was defending.

With a groan, he slowly came to, opening his eyelids to reveal two bright green eyes. "Wuh, what happened?" he asked in a high voice.

"You passed out. How you did, I'm not sure, but it looks like you're alright and not in danger of any concussion. May I ask who you are?"

"O-oh, I'm Spike. I work at Golden Oaks Library as the head librarian's number one assistant," he said with vigor.

"So this is what Spike looks like here," I thought, "well in any case..."

"Spike, would the head librarian you are referring to be Twilight Sparkle?" I questioned.

"Yeah, why?" he asked with a frown.

"Do you think you can make it out of the forest alone?"

"I guess so..."

"Then Spike, I need you to do me a favor. Head back to Ponyville and go straight to the library. You should find Twilight and her friends there, probably wondering what happened to Fluttershy and me. Tell them that we're safe and that we will be there soon. Don't come back, just keep them there. The last thing we need is more people lost in the Everfree Forest. Can you do this?" I asked as I finished conveying my orders.

Spike got back to his feet and gave me a confident smile along with a small salute. "Can do, mister...?"

"Ask, just Ask, and thank you."

With that, Spike turned and began his trek out of the forest. I turned my attention to Fluttershy as she began to stand up again, only to fall once more. With a sigh, I stooped to my knees with my back towards her, my arms extended behind me. Fluttershy just stared at me for a few seconds, expecting that I would do something. However, after a full minute passed, I groaned as I turned to face her.

"Get on." I said dully.

"W-what?" she asked.

"Wrap your arms around my neck and hop on my back. You're not walking with that ankle, and I don't want to consider how flying would turn out. So get on," I said impatiently. After a few seconds passed, I turned again and said, "Look Fluttershy, I'm just trying to be kind here, so will you please help me to help you?" I said as I extended a hand forward, offering a small smile. She looked at me with a look of curiosity and fear, but nonetheless took my hand and wrapped her arms around my neck. I slowly lifted off the ground and hiked Fluttershy onto my back. She was surprisingly light for someone her size.

---

As we piggy-backed to Ponyville, I felt her start to lean her head down against my spine, her hair splayed all around her.

"Thank you."

"I'm sorry?" I asked tilting my head back.

"Thank you, for saving me from the timberwolves. I honestly didn't think I would have survived if you hadn't intervened," she said solemnly.

"I... it wasn't anything to be thankful for. I was just trying to get an opportunity from it," I said looking forward.

"Oh? O-opportunity to what?"

"... say sorry," I muttered.

"What?" Fluttershy asked quizzically.

"... sorry."

"One more time please."

"... To say that I'm sorry," I said louder, causing Fluttershy's eyes to widen a bit. "I'm sorry for what I said back in the carriage, for what I said back at the library, and especially for what I said in town. I-I don't think your pathetic, but I will admit, it's hard for me to be near any of you."

"Why is that? We aren't going to gobble you up," Fluttershy asked innocently.

"Heh, I have no doubt that my backside will remain whole and ungobbled Fluttershy, but... where I come from... it's not easy letting others get close to you. People cheat and steal both wealth and life, and there is crime around every corner. It's either look out for yourself or get swallowed up in trouble."

"So... you were all alone?"

"Well, no. I did have my flatmate, Trisha, along with my friends, Rito and Yui. There also were my teachers, Sonata, Lea, and DJ. We all worked to try and help others that were hit hard by crimes around our home. We actually were gaining a bit of attention in the town's underbelly for putting a few people out of commission. And it wasn't all just work either. We used to always go out every Saturday for pizza and a movie, we competed with each other at who knows how many games and challenges, we stared in plays at the local community theater, made movies together, went camping, traveled, everything!" I thought back with glee.

"Sounds like you all were very close," Fluttershy said with a small but happy smile.

"Yeah, but..." I said as my head fell low, "...I always tried to keep them at a distance though. We may have been friends, but I never let them get to the heart of my issues. I always just tried to keep a strong face for them and left anything bothering me bottled up. Yet now that I've lost them, I just want to keep them as close as possible. Guess you don't really know what you have until it's gone, huh?" My lip started to quiver at this thought. What if there really was no way to get back to my home? Where would I start to search even if there was one? No one believed my story, so I couldn't just ask for their help. And even if I did find a way back, would I be able to use it? Could it work for non-Equestrians?

My heart was starting to ache as I continued to consider how bleak my situation was. Along with this, my vision was quickly clouding, reaching the point where I couldn't see two feet in front of me, and it was only getting worse as my dread grew. However, just as my vision was about to go altogether, I left something large, soft, and warm wrap itself around me. It was strange, but as the heat that was coming off of whatever it was seeped into me, my body felt surprisingly light. A minute ago, my heart was as heavy as an anvil, but now it felt as though it could soar high above the clouds. As my vision slowly came back, I looked down to see a surprise.

Draped along each side of my body was one of Fluttershy's vibrant yellow wings, encasing me in a warm, feathered shield. I also noticed that Fluttershy's grip around my neck had tightened as she leaned fully onto my back, resting her head just near my shoulder. "I know it hurts, a-and I know we can never replace your friends, b-but..." she said with sleepy eyes as she finished with a whisper, "I would like to be there while they can't be, i-if that's okay I mean..."

I could help but feel a lump form in the back of my throat at her words, unable to comprehend how someone I treated so badly could just decide to help me just like that. Eventually, I was able to find my voice and choked out, "T-thank you, Fluttershy."

She looked at me with a look a slight surprise. "You were able to hear me?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah... I've got sensitive ears... plus... I don't mind paying extra attention to a voice that's... nice." I said with a small blush. Fluttershy was silent, just taking in the news that I enjoyed her voice. She didn't say anything, but her wings did ruffle a bit as she laid her head down onto my back, smiling with a few traces of a soft-pink blush.

It took us a while, but we finally managed to get back to town. Just as expected, the rest of the Mane 6 was waiting with worried expressions back at the now deserted library, with Spike among them. "An' jus' where have you two been?! We've bin worried sick about y'all!" Applejack said as she ran up to meet us.

"And just why are you carrying Fluttershy!?" Rainbow asked.

"And why is her leg wrapped with an ice pack?" Twilight asked with concern.

"Yeah! And when's it my turn for a piggy-back ride?" Pinkie asked with playful anger.

"Let's just say that I've just become acquainted with timberwolves," I said with a tired smile.

"What?!" the girls screamed in unison. As I carefully helped Fluttershy back to her feet, making sure she didn't exert any pressure onto her bad foot, the others continued to barrage us with questions, ranging from why we left the party to why we ended up in the Everfree Forest in the first place.

"Girls!" I shouted, causing the blowout of questioning to stop. "I'll answer all your questions in time, but first... there's something I got to do before I change my mind," I said begrudgingly. I then turned my attention to the little green-haired boy I saved in the forest. "Spike," I asked as he came up to me, "take a letter." From behind him, Spike summoned a piece of parchment and a red feathered quill, waiting curiously for me to begin. I let out a long sigh as I started to dictate to Spike.

"Dear Celestia, I learned today that it is wrong to keep people and things away from you just because of what pre-conceived notions you have of them. While what you may know about a person may be true and may upset you, it is important to learn about them personally, otherwise you may very well end up missing out on something or someone very important or special, like companionship, a new ally, or maybe even something more. It's a big world out there with billions of people and things to see. Never let anything stop you from doing something or getting to know someone for the wrong reasons, because you may be surprised at what you find." I looked up and saw each of the girls with an expression of slight surprise and repressed glee, almost as if waiting to explode. I bit my lower lip as I prepared to state my closing, knowing what would happen the minute I would say it.

"I look forward to learning more about the magic of friendship (hurk!) with the elements of harmony," I struggled as I worked to get the last words out, "...my new friends," I said with finality as the girls screamed with joy. "Sincerely, Ask, you're acquaintance and apprentice to Twilight Sparkle."

And with that, Spike rolled up the parchment and sealed it with a gold stamp with a red ribbon attached. He then took in a deep breathe and exhaled not air but bright green flames onto it, turning it to sparkling ash as it flew off into the sky, no doubt to the humanoid alicorn princess it was addressed to. "So Spike can still breathe fire here, well that's- hoyyyyy!"

My thought was interrupted as all six of the girls gripped me in a bone-breaking hug, with each wearing a bright smile, awing at my sentiments. I also noticed that Fluttershy was still wearing the blush she had back in the forest, with it even darkening a little. As I rolled my eyes, I looked up to the sky to see the full moon shine brightly down upon us, the stars at its side. While I had resigned myself to staying in Ponyville, I hadn't given up yet on trying to return home. I had a life back there, and I wasn't prepared to give it up. I just hope my friends aren't missing me, not like they really would given how far I kept them. Still, I had a duty to Elenoir, and I wasn't about to let it down when it needed me. But in the mean time, instead of practicing parkour and training with Rito and the Independents, I'll be shelving books and living here with the Mane 6. And who knows, maybe it won't be as bad as I thought.

"So dear, are you and Fluttershy an item now?" Rarity asked excitedly.

"Excuse me?" I asked with small eyes.

"Well, you two were gone for quite some time, and she did seem rather content on your back, and her face is the most delightful shade of red," she responded with a shrew grin.

"And Fluttershy usually doesn't open up to people that quickly," Twilight added.

"W-what?!" I stuttered.

"And y'all were pretty close, what with her wings around you an' all. And you two ain't seem to be griping no more, 'specially after you saved her from the timberwolves like a bonified knight protecting a princess," Applejack said with narrow eyes and a snarky grin as she crossed her legs in a coy fashion.

"That- That doesn't- *meep*!" I tried to counter.

"Or like a hero saving an angel!" Pinkie cheered with glee.

"So, did you guys KISS and make up?" Rainbow Dash asked surly. "Or did you guys seal the deal with something even more awesome?" she teased with a nudge to my shoulder.

"I can't believe this. I just got over hating this girl, and now I'm right back at doing... things with her!? I mean really, I- wait a sec. If I'm freaking out, then...? Uh oh," I thought. I turned to my side to see Fluttershy and how she was dealing with all this. It wasn't pretty. She was violently shaking as she began to tear and sweat, her wings fully extended beyond her control. As for her face... remember when my face broke color barriers when I was dealing with Kotegawa? Well, Fluttershy beat me by a mile. Along with that, her eyes grew bright white as her mouth quivered. This can't end well.

"Fluttershy, please just-!"

"NO!"

Too late.

Fluttershy instantly pushed me away with a force I never imagined possible. I was launched half-way across town, slammed through three hay bales, spun along a windmill that launched me back to library, sped through an open window to be ricocheted all around the room, hit stacks of books, scrolls, and ink wells, all to end up landing in Twilight's crate of pin-sharp quills. The girls were watching all of this go on with a look of both horror and of amazement of what was going on. As I finished, they looked to library door, wondering what happened to me. I eventually hobbled my way to the door and opened it, revealing myself to be splattered with ink, several pieces of parchment attached to my body, hay littered in my hair, and three quills sticking out of my behind. As I collapsed to the ground, the girls all rushed up to me concerned for my well being, though I did hear a few chuckles from Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. "Ask! Are you okay?! Say something!" They asked in unison.

I was right, it may not be as bad as I thought. It could just as easily be worse. As I lifted myself off the ground, I managed to get out four words before I collapsed and fell unconscious, "I. HATE. EQUESTRIA. GIRLS."

And that's how my topsy-turvy life in Equestia began.