Title : Maybe Someday
Author : Katiyana
Disclaimer : Not my creations.
She closed her eyes and willed the tears not to fall. There was no room to show any signs of weakness. It would be punished as a crime. She pushed the frightened, anguished thoughts deep down as she centred herself and ensured that she would survive even when so many of those she had known and possibly befriended, died. For in this world that she lived in, who could possibly be a friend? Yet she knew that the word existed even if she wasn't sure that it ever applied to her and those that she knew. Maybe someday, she would be able to find one.
Natasha could not understand why the man had not killed her. He didn't even want her body, nor was there anything else that she could give him. But she was not dead. She was hurt and in a lot of pain but he was actually doing his best to help her. That had never happened before. Surely sometime soon, the other shoe would drop and there would be a demand for payment for his assistance. She blacked out from the pain.
She was not fully conscious for days but she was dimly aware of her surroundings. She felt no pain. A part of her brain knew that she was being heavily sedated and struggled as she had always done but she was too weak to be able to even try to do anything to fight against it. What was the use? She had given up on her own life a long time ago but it seemed that death would not claim her yet. Though she knew that it definitely would, maybe someday soon.
When she did wake up properly, things were incredibly strange. She was actually offered a choice and was informed surprisingly that if she turned it down, it did not mean certain death. She accepted it warily as she had done with any kind of decision for as long as she could remember. There had never really been a choice. It had been a long time since she even had the thought that maybe someday, someone would speak the truth in her life.
No one trusted her for a long time except him, the man that had not killed her. Even her handler, Coulson, was always on high alert with her though he was extremely good at looking calm and composed, but Natasha knew. She also knew that Coulson had only agreed because Barton had urged it upon him. Why, she still didn't know. She could not trust anyone.
It proved too true when she found out that Clint had lied to her too. She had no idea when she had started to think of him by his first name instead of his last. He had never told her about his home, his family. He had just brought her, both of them exhausted and heavily injured to this peaceful place, where his family lived. They were both filthy and must have been quite a sight to behold but they were simply ushered in warmly by the woman that answered the door.
There was a quiet little boy, who resembled Clint strongly. He looked at her curiously. She felt terrible from the pain but kept her expression neutral. His mother bustled about getting supplies to help treat Clint & Natasha. The little boy obligingly carried some towels and bandages to help out as instructed.
Then he was lovingly told by his parents that he needed to go to bed while the adults cleaned up. With a careful hug and kiss for his father and another curious but not frightened look at Natasha, Connor obediently went up to bed with his mother. Laura was back down a few minutes later, tending to a whole host of injuries. Natasha was surprised that she was able to handle it all with considerable skill, she must have some medical training.
It seemed like in no time at all, she was stitched up and cleaned up and actually put to bed in a tastefully decorated guest room with a comfortable bed and fluffy pillows. Amazingly Natasha didn't even need painkillers. Tired out from all the pain and exhaustion she tumbled into sleep. Never in her wildest dreams had she even dared to hope that maybe someday, she would be able to feel so safe and cared for.
The next few weeks were an alien experience on a whole new level for Natasha. She was cared for and treated as a treasured part of the Barton family. There was no fear and no hidden agenda. It just was.
Connor was shy but very bright and secure in his parents' affections. He accepted her because they did and he was a loving little boy. Natasha had never had much actual experience with children and none with any kind of positive note that she could recall. She was surprised as she gradually warmed up to the little boy and that his parents were perfectly unconcerned that as time went on, one of his favourite activities was being tucked up with her on the couch or bed reading a book.
It took several more stays at the farmhouse for Natasha to accept that Laura genuinely cared for her like a sister and was grateful that Natasha was Clint's formidable partner. It was an ever so slow process. But eventually, Natasha's long forgotten thoughts of maybe someday resurfaced. Even better than that, for her it was clear that it was now today, not just maybe someday, she would have know the meaning of a friend.