Disclaimer: Yami no Matsuei belongs to Matsushita Yoko *sniff sniff*
Author's Notes: Poor quality. I'm just a little bit depressed
Warnings: Slight OOC. Mild Angst.
I was standing by the window of my office, absently staring into space unmindful of the endlessly falling Sakura petals. But my thoughts were broken as a mop of cocoa-brown hair and ash-blonde hair came into my view. My piercing blue eyes fell on the cocoa-brown-haired man, his coat gently flapping as the wind gently blew.
Tsuzuki Asato.
From the look of excitement on his face, I know he's going to have sweets very soon or he's just excited to have his partner, Kurosaki Hisoka, all to himself.
I looked at the boy who's forever trapped in a 16-year-old boy. I noticed that there was a look of irritation on his face, probably caused by his partner. But no matter how angry or annoyed he is with the older shinigami, the boy would never want to leave Tsuzuki, not that the man wanted the boy to.
I still couldn't get it why Tsuzuki chose the boy. The boy was just like me. Downright icy, strict, stiff and had the ability to scare the wits out of everyone. But unlike the boy, I was lenient with Tsuzuki's shortcomings. I always pampered him despite the fact that I always threatened to deduct his salary. I never shouted at him, which Hisoka most of the time does. So why did he chose the empath over me?
Probably for several reasons.
Muraki.
The name came unbidden and I clenched my fist. Yes, perhaps the reason why they understand each other so much is because they have the same enemy, have the same antagonism towards the psychopath.
Tsuzuki had shown the boy what he had missed during his life on Earth and had given the things that were deprived from him. In return, the boy saved him from his own demons and made him want to live again. Hisoka can make him stop blaming himself and can even get him out from his depression. The boy can do things which I cannot do. That is the big difference between us.
I wonder how the boy could stand Tsuzuki's mood especially his depression. Tsuzuki was…
I stopped as I saw Tsuzuki threw his head back and laughed heartily while the frowning boy glared at him. The amethyst-eyed shinigami reached out and try to smoothen out the frown while he said something with a grin which made the boy none-too-gently swatted his hands away from his elfin face. Tsuzuki laughed again and I'm sure it's the genuine and melodious one. The younger shinigami retorted something and I'm sure it's an insult but its either Tsuzuki didn't hear it or didn't mind it. In reply, with his amethyst eyes sparkling with life Tsuzuki smiled.
A very rare genuine smile.
I could hardly make Tsuzuki smile like that but with Hisoka… making him smile like that always came to him so naturally. The boy in question swung his arm, obviously with the intention of hitting his partner but the latter caught his arm and pulled the boy to him, kissing him.
I wonder how Tsuzuki's lips would feel against mine. I wonder how warm his mouth would be. I wonder…
I stopped and snickered. This was all I can do. Just wonder about things. How pathetic can a shadow master like me get?
The boy struggled for a few second before he looped his arms around his partner's neck, pulling and holding him close. And I knew they had drifted to their own world.
Entangled limbs and falling Sakura petals landing on naked bodies lying on a bed of Sakura petals.
I could never forget that particular image that was presented to me one fateful afternoon. I was walking along the Sakura tress when I heard a scream which I immediately recognized as Hisoka's. I could have identified the scream but my mind immediately went to panic mode. I followed the scream and saw a naked Tsuzuki and Hisoka lying on a bed of Sakura petals doing the obvious. From the way they looked, I know they just reached the climax. With hurt coursing through me, I watched as Tsuzuki kissed the boy beneath him before I left with a very heavy heart.
The memory of that day brought fresh and raw pain in my whole being. But why do I get hurt and felt so betrayed? It's not like Hisoka had stolen Tsuzuki from me. I was the one who abandoned Tsuzuki and he was thrust into the hands of Hisoka who repaired him, reluctantly at first.
Before, Tsuzuki's world revolve around me but now his world was Hisoka and that hurts a lot and I felt like I was being deceived. But I know why I feel like this. It's because I had hope that the amethyst-eyed shinigami would need me; that he would come back to me.
If before it was stupid of me to hope that he'll do that, then it's pointless now to continue clinging to that hope. Tsuzuki and Hisoka had bound themselves to one another in every possible and imaginable way and in every way that I don't want to know.
I sighed. I know this pain will become a dull ache and then finally a dull memory in due time and until then I have to bury myself with paperworks.
I watched as Tsuzuki and Hisoka disappeared. I'm sure they teleported somewhere private where they can do more things with one another. They're probably in their room now, no doubt about that.
I sighed again. I guess I should resume working instead of just being angsty. I should bury myself with paperwork; with pay slips; with journals and ledgers; with reports and with more paperwork until this pain is nothing but a distant forgotten memory.
::END::
3 Cs are welcome but please be gentle.