Disclaimer: I don't own Touhou, Twilight, Vampire Chronicles or vampires.
"Lady Remilia?"
"What is it, Sakuya?"
"You've got mail!"
"Oh! Let me see" the vampire exclaims while eagerly taking the envelope from between the maid's finger. Just as she expects - the neat handwriting on the front of the slim paper pocket indicates its origin from Paris. This has to be it, Remilia hums to herself as she cuts open the letter with a small silver knife, the much-hoped-for reply from her vampire friend Armand. How could she not remember the old days being a parisienne living under the roof of the grand Thêatrès des Vampires among other blood-drinkers she felt were her family? Especially the red-haired Armand, though deceitful and twisted and oh how much of a man-bitch he was - and he tried to hit on her little Flandre for cripe's sake - nothing could stop him and Remilia from being inseparable friends. Now that she's in the hidden land Gensokyo and he's still in Paris - which is good news she guesses, because long ago, Remilia couldn't believe Armand actually meant what he said - that the Thêatrès was burned to the ground along with all the vampires inside except himself by "that jerk Louis" - it would take centuries for transportation to develop enough for them to travel between two worlds without disrupting the barrier between them. Luckily, the post system is now able to transfer documents and parcels between worlds, the two have resorted to keeping in contact by mail (Remilia would love to send him emails, but sadly the Internet in both the outside world and Gensokyo isn't that strong yet).
Dear Remilie,
Oh how the blue-haired enjoys being called by her real name once in a while. She smiles and goes on reading the letter written in French.
First was Louis's burning down the Thêatrès. Second was Marius's pissing off at me for hanging out with Daniel.
You forgot Louis and Lestat, Remilia giggles to herself.
And now this dogcrap! When is my life gonna stop being such a huge hell hole? The other day when I went out feeding, all the girls I met were like "Hey ya no vampirez ya dun sparkle like Eddiekinz". I was so pissed off I decided to go ask someone - who later became my dinner - who this guy was. This person, who was, thanks Satan, a bookstore owner, told me everything about this Edward Cullen dude and kept fangirling the crap out of me about him - well at least her blood tasted nice. I went to her bookstore and took the first volume of the so-called Twilight "saga" - y'know, the ridiculously thick book that's about three times the number of pages of Lestat's stupid autobiography. Did I mention it had hands holding an apple against a black background as the cover? I know, stupid! I warn you, Remilie, never, EVER, go near that "book" if you want to spare your sanity. I'm honestly disgusted by how vampires are portrayed in this crap. Edward Cullen is a frigging wimp; hell, he's even more of a chicken than Louis himself. What kind of vampires eat only animal blood? I know Louis tried to do that and look what he'd done to Claudia before Lestat turned her. What kind of vampires go to… to high school? And yeah, let's not forget the sparkles. LE SPARKLEZZZZ. Those wimpires SPARKLE in daylight. What the hell?! This is… Ugh… I can't…
Tell Francoise I said hi.
Armand
"Sis!" when Remilia finishes the letter, she instantly hears a too familiar cheerful call.
"Flandre!" she responds, "waking up so soon?" It isn't time for the younger vampire to get out of the basement yet. Remilia isn't surprised; every time she has mail, her sister has to make Sakuya or Meiling let her out before time so that she can "talk" to her.
"Is it from big bro Armand?" Mon Dieu, Remilia swears if the red-head knows innocent little Francoise - I mean Flandre - still calls him "big bro" after all those years plus one instance of his hitting on her, he will break down in bloody tears.
"Oui" said the blue-haired.
"What did he say?"
"… He said hi."
end of chapter 1.
LOL how was that? I know VC fanfics aren't allowed here - sorry Anne Rice - but can't help it. The story I have is rather long so I have to break down into chapters. Can't wait until Remi starts reading the crap herself, hehe.
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