Ok minna san this is my first attempt at a song fic... I think I got some of the lyrics wrong.. But they're very minor changes.. Hehe =) Enjoy ;)
The pain was too much... Matt lay on the floor of his apartment looking up at the ceiling, remembering the good times, when Mello loved him.
When Passion's lost....
"I love you Mihael..." "As I love you Mail.." The faint whispers in the room lingered, mocking him. What had he done wrong? Had Mello just moved on?
And all the trust is gone... For way too long.. For way too long...
He knew that he wasn't much company... Nor was he that smart... Maybe that's why Mello left him for Near.
"Matt.. I can't stay here any longer... Gomen" Matt curled up into a ball;when did it start?
...Hold the hand of your best friend.. Look into their eyes... And watch them drift away...
He had noticed Mello pull away. He never told him how much he loved him, and was always alone in the room while Matt was playing a video game... He had thought nothing of it at the time... But he would give it all up just to have Mello back.
"Don't go..." "Matt.. I don't love you anymore! Why can't you understand?" Mello pulls away from him. His stare is cold and pained. Why can't he keep him here? Why did Mello have to leave? "Don't go..." Mello looks down at him with those unforgiving eyes.. "Goodbye Matt." The door slams, giving way to the flood of sadness that Matt feels.
Some might say we've done the wrong things... For way too long... For way too long..
Matt hadn't left the spot he had fallen when Mello left. He had neither the will nor the want. He was numb... Besides, it wasn't like it was much of a life without Mello... No one to tease him, no one to banter with, no one to curl up next to on a cold night..
Fever inside the storm.. So I'm turning away.. Away from your name...
Mello never used the name Matt when they were together.. It was always Mail or babe... And then it hit Matt so hard that the wind was knocked out of him.. October 2nd.. He had forgotten their anniversary.. Mello had told him to get ready and go to his office after he got done with the waiter job Matt had.. He had forgotten and gone home to play games, which is how Mello found him when he came home. It had started since then... The withdrawal.. The pained look in his eyes, the silence..
Burning whispers remind me of the days.. I was left alone in a world this cold..
"Hey Mello, it's me again.. Just wanted to see how you were doing... So call me.." Matt put down the phone, he had called every hour for the past 2 days.. Always the voicemail...
Keep your thorns... Cause I'm flying away..
A stray tear went down his cheek and fell to the floor. Then as he was about to pick up the phone to call again he had an idea. If Mello wasn't answering, he could always go to him! Matt stood up and threw on his shoes. It was cold but he didn't need a jacket, his heart had already frozen in this cold world...
Cause I'm running away.... Fever inside the storm!
Matt jogged down the snow covered sidewalk. He turned the corner and jogged up the steps to the hotel Mello was staying at. He walked in and ran up two flights of dimly lit stairs. 306,308,310...312!
Matt raised a gloved hand and was going to knock when the door swung open.
Why does everyone feel like my enemy...
"What do you want Matt? I have to get to cla-" "Mihael... I know what I did wrong... I'm sorry!" He dropped to his knees and looked up at Mello. "I'm not going back Matt..."
Don't want any part of this depression... Bring out the sun or I'm gone!
"Why not?! I love you.. Isn't it enough?" Mello shook his head. "It never was... You think you love me but you don't... I know it Matt..." Matt looked up at Mello, with tear filled eyes. Then he got angry. "It never was enough?! Two years Mello! And it wasn't enough?!" And then it hit him. All those missed calls.. All those late nights at 'work'... "You've never been faithful to me.. Have you Mihael?"
I'm backing out.. I'm no pawn.. No mother fucking slave to this...
"No Matt... I loved you. For the first month.. But you weren't enough.."
Never lied..
"Why didn't you leave then...? I never lied to you! I was faithful,despite the fact that the guys a work asked me out!"
Never left...
"Then why didn't you leave? I knew that guys had been throwing themselves at you! I was jealous at first Matt, but then I realized something.. I didn't give a fuck!"
Never lived..
"That's bull Mello! When I wasn't working, I was home! Every time I tried to go out , you pulled your jealousy crap!"
Never loved...
"Now who's full of bull?! I never stopped you! I made faces, but I never once told you to not go! Cause like I said, I didn't love you anymore!"
Never lost...
"Then why the hell didn't you leave?!"
Never hurt...
"Because I liked you enough to not want to hurt you.."
Never worry about being me, or anyone else
...Not a care, no concern, don't give a shit about ...Anything,
"YEAH AND SUDDENLY RUNNING OFF WITH NEAR DIDN'T HURT ME?!"
"Matt...."
"That's just rich! Thank you Mello! You were the worst mistake of my life!"
I need to find a darkened corner... A lightless corner.. Where it's safer and calmer..
Matt runs down the hall and down the steps, willing himself to go faster. He wanted to forget... Those years wasted.. The lies Mello told.. The pain of still loving him...
I'm turning away.. Away from the name... Away from the stones... Cause I'm through mending the wounds of us.....
Hope you guys liked it! Review!