The dream seemed peaceful at first, swimming in the Hamptons with Castle next to her, floating on their backs staring up at the starts, not needing to talk. Some part of Kate had known it was a dream, had been aware enough to be thankful for the peace of the stars, the solid comforting presence of the man beside her.
As she drifted, lost in the stars, the water slowly started too cool around her. Slowly at first, difficult to notice with her attention elsewhere. But then it dropped suddenly, pulling her attention from the stars as she gasped with the cold. She couldn't stand being in the pool anymore, she had to get out, to get away. The cold was getting to Kate, driving her breath from her lungs, and she started for the edge of the pool with the only thought in her mind to get free.
But as she struggled towards the edge of the pool, Castle pulled his attention away from the stars, and stared after her. "Where are you going?" he called across the pool, still treading water, not moving to follow her just yet. He didn't seem bothered by the cold, only by her absence. But as Kate struggled more, the cold sapping strength from her arms, he seemed to realize something was wrong.
"Kate?" he called, starting to swim towards her, rushing to her side like he always did. But she couldn't stop, not even to let him help. She had to get out, had to get free. Had to get to Castle.
But wasn't Castle behind her? She was confused, wondering if the cold was getting to her. She was in the Hamptons with Castle, but where was he now? Or where was she? She wasn't in the pool anymore, but she was still so cold. Ice was starting to form on her face, covering her eyes. She couldn't see, couldn't move to scrape it away. And Castle, where was Castle? He'd been trying to help her, and she hadn't let him, and now she was somewhere else, freezing and alone. How could she have left him?
The ice was spreading, not limited to her face now. She could feel it around her wrists, slowly climbing up her arms, spreading across her chest and down towards her legs. She was going numb with the cold, couldn't feel the floor beneath her. And as the ice started to cover her nose, stop her breathing, she panicked again, forcing her arms to move, to break the ice. She could feel it shatter, but more grew back, refusing to let her go. Then the ice was in her lungs, and she couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't think. There was only the blackness around her, and her fear.
Kate sat upright in bed, gasping air into her lungs, trying to convince her fears that she could breathe now. She feels Castle shift next to her, knows she has woken him up, but cannot quiet the screaming in her head, the fight to fill her lungs, to shake off the cold. She can feel herself shivering; can still feel the ice growing around her.
And then suddenly it isn't ice around her, but his arms. They are warm and comforting, and drive the ice away with their protection and care. There is still the fear, but even that is slowly lessening, shoved away into the back of her mind. Kate knows she will still have to deal with it, knows she will have to face it, but right now all that matters to her is the man beside her.
Castle, the man who had waited for her, who had stayed with her. Who had loved her and protected her, even when she tried to push him away. The man she had loved for so long, even before she had let herself realize what he meant to her. The man who had come back, had saved her from a bomb. Who refused to let her go, had fought for her and with her, had her back in so many ways.
And she had nearly left him. A coincidence, a chance meeting. A case of being too good at her job, and she had nearly been gone. That was the thing she feared most through it all, not the ice, not her own death. She had faced death many times, with and without Castle, and she had learned to be at peace with the possibility. It came with the job, and the knowledge that she was accomplishing something every day that she worked, even if that day ended up being her last, was enough for her.
But to leave Castle behind, to put him through losing her, that was what had nearly broken her. She had lived for him, had fought to make it back to him, and had still nearly let him down.
And yet here he was, still focused totally on making sure she was okay. Kate finally realized he'd been whispering into her hair, soft nonsense as he waited for her to settle, as he held her close and slowly rubbed her back, anchoring her to what was real. Kate leaned into him, tears starting to fall as she turned her head into his shoulder, letting him be the strong one for her.