A/N This is settled one year and half after Sasuke's depart, sospoilers till then. Mind, there's shonen ai ahead!

This is a sequel to my other short fic "The Touch of a Nightmare": things back when Gaara tried to kill Lee in the hospital went in a slightly (but substantial) different way than in the anime, so it's really better if you've read that before.

Infinite-Thanking no Jutsu to Acerbitas for her wonderful beta-reading!

Well... I hope you enjoy

Cutting through the Shell

Chapter 1

To understand the meaning of words is simple.

To learn what it means to love and be loved is not. It's complicated, and it's twisted. Moreover, nobody really seems to want me to learn, because love is a feeling, and is instinctual. Nobody wants me to behave more instinctually than I already do. At least, not on my own, for my own sake.

Gaara was sitting on a rock, in a small clearing in the forest, not far from Konoha village. In front of him, a green and orange blur moved from hitting tree-trunks, to doing basic exercises like lift-ups and rope jumping, to slow kicks and fists in the air, and finally to stopping and calming its breath—only if in order to do a complicated sequence of kata,. Lee always trained like he was having a new chuunin exam the next week. He wanted a new chance, he had said to Gaara, with a smile sparkling like sun on water, and he was sure he would win, this time. Gaara agreed. After all, this time he would have not to meet with him, but he did not say that. Lee never brought up the subject of their fight, or of the risk he had run of not being able to be a ninja anymore. Not wanting to dig into the past was something Gaara could understand, since he knew well how the past could cage someone. He did not want to think about his own past anymore. It was part of him, it conditioned everything he was and would ever be. It was exactly like being the medium for Shukaku, and he really did not need to think about it more.

What Gaara could not understand was why Lee kept looking for his company when all the rest of the village, who had less than half the reasons Lee had, was more than willing to keep him at a safe distance. Of course it wasn't safe. Gaara's powers had increased so much in the last years the only one who could probably stand against him in Konoha was Tsunade-sama. Obviously the fact he could do it didn't mean he would. Not anymore, at least. Back in Suna, everyone agreed that the role of Kazekage was meant to be inherited by him. He was rightful heir, he had the power to protect Suna, and right now the Village of Sand, in its position of total submission to Konoha, needed a strong leader very much. They got the Leaf-Village's protection, obviously, but the intention of the Hokage was clearly of going back, as soon as they could, to a position of reliable reciprocated alliance. Suna needed to show other villages that the defeat had not undermined its power. A frontman like Sabaku no Gaara was the best thing they could hope for…at least while he managed to keep himself in control.

That was the main reason he actually was on a diplomatic stay there, in the Leaf Village. He had come on Tsunade-sama's invitation. He had decided to go alone, leaving Temari and Kankuro to take care of things in Suna (mainly Temari, who was the only one in the family who had some political instincts… Gaara was sure he could never do without her, and would have gladly left her the title).

According to Tsunade-sama, mostly of the techniques they had taught him to not be overcome by his guest were purposely stressful, in order to maintain him in a constant distressed state, to make him a best weapon. She was trying to teach him some more efficient jutsu, mainly of her own creation.

He would have really little to do there, apart from the lessons, had it not been for that strange habit he had acquired.

The first time he had seen Rock Lee again the boy had been with that teacher of his, their weird outfits making them stand out in the crowd, as usual. Gaara had thought Lee would have just ignored him. Instead, he'd heard a loud "Here you are!" and the next moment Lee had rushed to him, waving for him to stop with a huge smile. He'd then proceeded to explain his sensei, for what probably wasn't the first time, how Gaara had helped him in the fight against Kimimaru, and very ceremoniously thanked him. Not being sure how to react, Gaara had simply stated that Suna was Konoha's ally, so that had been just normal behaviour.

Then Lee had asked him if he'd got engagements for that afternoon. Beside from talking with Tsunade, Gaara had got anything to do in Konoha. He usually spent time walking around, looking at people, their half-hidden, worried gazes not bothering him at all.

"Then how about you come to the training-field with me? You must be really bored, being here without even training! I do believe Tsunade-sama would have nothing against it! Or maybe Gai-sensei could ask her, just to be sure…" He had looked expectantly at the man, who nodded, rubbing his chin. Gaara had stared at him, wondering how he could be so uncaring, letting his beloved pupil pass time with someone who, had it not for his intervention, would have killed him. But either Lee had already discussed it with him, or their inner ways were just too complicated for him to get them. Then he'd realized Lee was looking at him, waiting for an answer. And since he actually did have nothing else better to do, and that it would at least be a change in routine, he had found himself saying he would.

So he had gone there, in the small clearing with only a trunk embedded in the middle, its surface marked with the signs of countless blows, and a big rock near its edge. It was a secluded place, and he'd found the quiet there appealing. It was the nearest thing to the silence of the desert he'd found in that unfamiliar green world. Lee, already engaged in some kind of exercise had welcomed him, clearly happy.

"I was worried you would not come!" he'd said.

"I'd told you I would."

"Yes." The dark-haired boy had laughed, a bit embarrassed. "I just thought that maybe I had, don't know, annoyed you."

He had turned to look at the field, with an air of mild disappointment. "So… I was going to ask you to train with me, but Tsunade-sama had simply ordered me not to…".

"Why would you want to do that?"

"Eh? Of course because I would never get the chance to spar with someone as powerful as you! Last time we saw… I mean, you're a great fighter, and I wish I could test myself against you again, to make me better!".

Gaara had stared at him, vaguely wondering what specific kind of madness Lee had. He had remembered clearly Lee stating he held no grudge against him for what had happened in their fight on the exam, but still…

Lee had pressed on earnestly. "Since I recovered after Tsunade-sama's operation, it had been your memory that had pushed me to work even harder! I am happy that now our villages are fr…allies, but that would not make me stop wishing i could become strong enough to beat you!" his face fell a little "Even if there's a real lot of work for me to do, still…"

"You'd almost beat me the first time, even if I was the one who won". Gaara stated it as a fact, because that it was.

"Past is past, now we must look only to the future!". Lee answered, his fist clenched, his determined gaze suddenly fixed on something very far away, on the left of Gaara's head. Gaara's eyes narrowed. So he was avoiding talking about what had happened. Then why had he looked for him, if it was such a pain to remember…

"So… I should train for some more time…" said Lee, embarrassed. "It seems I made you come here for nothing…".

"I can watch." Gaara had meant it to be a question. Well, that was how it should have been.

"But won't you be bored?"

Gaara thought about how he could explain that he wanted to stay in that place some time more, but then he just turned and went to sit on the rock. He pulled off the gourd and placed it nearby.

Lee was looking at him bemusedly.

"I won't be interfering with your training?" That was more like it.

"Absolutely not!" exclaimed Lee, now smiling again. "Please, if you have some observations say it!" and he went back to punch the trunk with renewed energy.

Gaara thought it would have been pointless to tell him he never actually trained a lot in taijutsu, so he could not give him advice.

That incident had started the routine. Gaara went there in the afternoon, day after day, watched Lee training for some hours, and thought. Surely it was not boring. Instead he found it strangely enticing to look at the devotion with which the older boy trained himself. Even if that thing about self-imposed rules was weird.

When the hyper-active shinobi was quite finished, he usually lay down for a while on the fresh grass, near the rock, and talked. He talked about any kind of things, from training to stories about Konoha to past fights, and seemed not worried about Gaara participating, something that had made most people just stop their attempts to speak to him. On the contrary, he sometimes stopped to ask if he was annoying him. Gaara said no, and he wasn't even if the sand-ninja didn't know why. Lee had explained Gaara why he could train only in taijutsu and had told him how important Gai-sensei had been into his life. Sometimes he asked Gaara things about Suna, about the desert he never had seen. Gaara tried to explain it to him, and Lee listened intently.

After a week of this, Lee had found out Gaara never ate ramen, so he offered to take him to a place where they did it really good. It wasn't really as if Gaara had any reason to refuse. He usually ate alone in the apartment they gave him, inside the Hokage's palace. A ninja carryed him food. Then he spent the night reading, or watching a sky that somehow looked different.

Lee had looked amazed that Gaara had accepted, and happy. Gaara had decided to suspend his judgement about what made the other boy behave like that, and they went to that small ramen-shop, where the sand-ninja had to admit the food was kind of good. While they were there, a group of other shinobi had entered, between them that brown-haired girl who Gaara remembered being part of Lee's team and crushed by Temari at the exam. She had looked at them clearly surprised, and Gaara prepared himself to leave, since he thought obviously he would have not been welcome between Lee's fellows. But before he could stand Lee had already jumped up to greet her, and invited her and her companion, that guy Shikamaru, to sit with them. The girl, that Lee introduced as TenTen made no attempt to be excessively friendly. She simply politely saluted Gaara, like a foreign shinobi she was not in confidence with, and then said to Lee something about a mission they were going on soon. That was okay to Gaara. He sure didn't feel the need to be treated so friendly, and since she was not Lee it would probably have just seemed fake. That sure was a thing to think about. He had looked at Lee, who was laughing at something the girl had said, while she smirked and shook her head. Lee caught his eyes, and smiled at him, in a soft way. Then he just blushed and quickly looked away, leaving Gaara with some more puzzling things in his head.

When they went out, Lee had asked Gaara if it bothered him that he had made his friends come near. At the negation, he'd sighed relieved, then they walked in silence to the palace, where the guard stared at the bizarre duo.

"Tell tomorrow!"

"Yes."

Being with Gaara all that time, even going to eat something with him in such a casual way (the black-haired boy had immediately turned it into a routine), or walking around in Konoha before training must had been stressful to Lee. That was clear to Gaara, and it made him wonder all more about why he'd put up with all that in the first place.

If they happened to meet someone other than that Maito guy, or the girl, Lee had seemed concerned, even more at the reactions of the other people than at Gaara's. He had caught Lee glaring daggers (and with his eyebrows that was quite a look) at people who whispered beside Gaara's back, and that was just stupid, since Gaara didn't give a damn about what they said.

But one day, Gaara was walking some feet before Lee, like he sometimes did, and they walked past some guys of Lee's age, who had laughed out loud. Gaara's had caught some words, like "loser" and he had realized they were aimed at Lee, who simply kept walking, not even sparing a look. Gaara had stopped, and turned to walk back. It had taken a moment for the boys to realize the sand-ninja was focused on them. Then they just fell silent. Gaara had found immensely amusing how his simple stare, without even using a grain of sand, had made the colour drain out of their faces. Lee, noticing a crowd starting to gather, had hurried Gaara to drop that horrid glare and go away. He did, but not before gracing the idiots with another crooked smile.

While they walked away, Lee had said it was really of no use wasting time with those guys.

"They are trash. They can't even recognize strength when they see it. Not worthy being ninjas," Gaara had stated.

"Uhm, well, they've been doing this since we were kids. Guess they have nothing better to do."

"You should beat them up."

Lee laughed. "That would be just a waste of time. When I become a real ninja they'll have to take back their words. And I do not really care about them".

Gaara's look had been almost deadly.

"You are much stronger than them. You've become much better in the last year, even faster, more precise. It's obvious by your extensive training, even if I haven't seen you fight for real. You should show them".

Gaara had walked a little before realizing Lee had remained back, and was staring with his mouth-open.

"What's the matter?"

Lee shook his head, smiling. "Nothing…".

End Chapter 1, thanx for reading!

Reniew?