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margl1440margr1440vieww9000viewh9000viewkind0 pardtx560tx1120tx1680tx2240tx2800tx3360tx3920tx4480tx5040tx5600tx6160tx6720qlqnatural f0fs24 cf0 Disclaimer: All characters belong to EW Hornung
One may be wondering why I should be writing another story. Didn't I say myself that I had said everything there was to say about my great villain? Indeed I have said it all, about him at least. I have shown his good side and dark but I feel as though I have not been terribly forthcoming about myself. In fact I have told downright lies. But I beg of you not to think any less of him for I have told only the truth when it comes to his actions. There are many little lies I've told but they all lead back to the biggest one of all. I love him, I love AJ Raffles! I have ever since I first fagged for him at school and still do to this day. I don't want to sully his name with my perversions and wish to state that he had no knowledge of y feelings. Nor, I'm sure, did he return them. I've held back to long and I wont fill up pages with jumbled excuses and half truths, every word here shall be an honest one. After all, what have I to hide now? I fear my life is coming near it's end and it has already been disgraced. Raffles has paid his penance but I shall never get a chance to pay mine, for my sins are far greater
The first lie I should like to clear up is when I first saw him again after our school days, at the poker game. It started when I returned to confide I had no money and said I'd blow my brains out if he couldn't help. I, of course, had plenty of money left from my inheritance, I was surprised he bought the lie, seeing as how I'd always been a money pincher at school. The latter part was somewhat true. I was indeed prepared to end it all, for when I got to the game I was hit with a hard blow. Seeing him standing there, like a god! I realized that all I had done in our time apart was of no importance whatsoever. I needed him and if he was not prepared to take me than my life was not worth living. I was hurt beyond anything when he did nothing to stop me but my feelings took a sudden upward rise when he purposed we work together. I may have claimed that I was appalled by the idea of crime but nothing could be further from the truth. He wanted me, not just in this venture but in others and I was prepared to do anything for him. Burglary was all he asked but if he had asked me to rape or murder, I would have done it without the bat of an eye. I was a love struck fool and God knows I still am. By the time this gets to the public I shall most certainly be dead, for the gun is sitting just inches away as I write. I knew then that life was not worth living without him, and I still share that sentiment, if anything more strongly. I suppose this is the part where im supposed to say I'll be with my love soon. But I wont fancy myself with false delusions. If indeed there is a place to go after we die, I'm certainly not going to the same one as him. No, that would be asking to much.