Warnings: PG-13 for language, adult humor/situations, and general SMJ weirdness. Spoilers for SMJ.
Terra 2's Twelve Days of Christmas
On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me: a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
Otaru: Uhh, could you run that by me again, guys?
On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love gave to me: two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
Hanagata: Otaru-kun, we were destined to be together from the moment we met!
and a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
Otaru: It seems pretty tacky to me.
On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love gave to me: three Saber Dolls
Panther: Those who oppose Lord Faust must die!
Tiger: And how is that considered getting into the Christmas spirit, Panta?
two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
Hanagata: Otaru-kun, *exaggerated pose* YOU ARE GRAVELY MISTAKEN!
and a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
Otaru: And when the pumpkin rots, this place will stink to high heaven...
On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: four hot springs ads
Bloodberry: Y'know, this would've been a lot easier if Lime and Cherry weren't around.
three Saber Dolls
Luchs: We've got the standard point/counterpoint thing going on.
two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
Hanagata: You must forget these silly machines.
and a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
Otaru: I wonder if this is even accurate...
On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: five inventions
Gennai: Well, I am a genius, if I do say so myself.
four hot springs ads
Bloodberry: I could finally get Otaru alone with me...
three Saber Dolls
Luchs: Faust's "counterpoint" *giggles* to Mamiya's "point."
Tiger: What the hell are you talking about, Luchs?
two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
Hanagata: Focus only on me!
and a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
Otaru: Oi, Iwadera, Kiyoshi, are you sure you researched this thing?
On the 6th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: six Lime tackles
Lime: Otaru, DAAAAA~I SUKI!
five inventions
Gennai: McGuyver, eat your heart out!
four hot springs ads
Bloodberry: And I would definately not invite Hana-ko along!
three Saber Dolls
Luchs: I wish our tailor acutally had a sense of fashion, though.
Panther: Yeah. He certainly has "odd" tastes.
two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
Hanagata: For this sort of thing is best done man to man!
and a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
Iwadera: Otaru-san, I can assure you that we left no stone unturned in our quest for accurate information.
On the 7th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: seven "perfect plans"
Goeddel: I was always partial to the "Super Groovy Go Get Otaru Mamiya Plan."
six Lime tackles
Lime: Ne, ne, Otaru, what's "glomping?"
five inventions
Gennai: They work about as often as Miss Cleo's predictions.
four hot springs ads
Bloodberry: Even if Hana-ko is my favorite punching bag, he cannot be allowed to interfere!
three Saber Dolls
Tiger: WE ARE...THE SABER DOLLS!
Luchs: And don't you forget it!
two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
Hanagata:Otaru-kun, let ME be your Santa Claus!
and a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
Kiyoshi: This is the New Texas tradition.
On the 8th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: eight Krabbensteifs
All of Japoness: A-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Look at the stupid crab mechs! A-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
seven "perfect plans"
Goeddel: If only the Saber Dolls hadn't fucked things up...
six Lime tackles
Lime: I can't help it if I'm super-genki! ^_~
five inventions
Gennai: I could've come up with something better than those stupid crabs.
four hot springs ads
Bloodberry: And then, when Otaru and I are alone...*giggles wickedly*
three Saber Dolls
Panther(to Goeddel): Hey! We did the best we could under the circumstances!
two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
Hanagata: Sit on my lap, and I'll grant your every wish!
and a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
Otaru: You do realize that the New Texas tradition was based on the traditions of the United States of America on Old Earth, right?
On the 9th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: nine sake binges
Bloodberry: *hic* Y'know, thish ish my second favorite thing in the universe!
Panther: *hic* What's your firsht *hic* favorite thing?
Bloodberry: *hic* Guessh! *wicked grin*
eight Krabbensteifs
All of Japoness: *snicker* *snicker* GARTLANT HAS CRABS! *giggle* *snort* *guffaw*
seven "perfect plans"
Goeddel: But I would have to say that my most perfect plan was the one to capture Lorelei.
Yang Ming: But you didn't come up with that plan, did you? *smiles* *glasses flash*
six Lime tackles
Lime: I'm too cute to hate!
five inventions
Gennai: Not that the Salbelberg was much better...
four hot springs ads
Cherry: No wonder why it's your "first favorite thing in the universe!"
three Saber Dolls
Luchs: It is my conclusion that Goeddel is a self-absorbed idiot.
Tiger: No kidding.
two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
*Bloodberry knocks Hanagata into orbit*
Hanagata: I'm not getting paid enough for this!
and a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
Kiyoshi: Eh, heh heh...Funny thing about that...
On the 10th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: ten female wet dreams
Cherry: Oh! Otaru-sama! We musn't! Oh! Ah! Oh!
Lime: Whacha doin' Cherry?
Cherry(embarrassed):N-None of your concern!
nine sake binges
Cherry: Maybe we ought to sign someone up for Alcoholics Anonymous, eh?
Bloodberry: *hic* dunno wha yer talkin' 'bout.
eight Krabbensteifs
Hess: *sighs* Well, we can't all be perfect.
seven "perfect plans"
Goeddel: Yang Ming, what are you doing here?
Yang Ming: None of your concern, old boy! *his glasses flash again*
six Lime tackles
Lime: Heh heh! *big goofy grin with "peace sign"*
five inventions
Hess: But I am the true genius inventor on this show.
four hot springs ads
Bloodberry(to Hess): Heh, a true genius would have some respect for the fourth wall!
three Saber Dolls
Panther: Hey, you stole my line!
Luchs: Weren't you two supposed to be drunk?
two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
*a new Hanagata-sized hole in the ground is created when Hanagata lands*
and a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
Iwadera: Try as we might, we couldn't find anything on Old Earth...
On the 11th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: eleven yaoi fanfics
Hanagata: Ooh! Did someone say yaoi fanfics? Oh joy!
ten female wet dreams
Cherry: Oh, when will Otaru-sama and I get the chance to be alone?
nine sake binges
*Bloodberry and Panther have both passed out from all the sake they drank. Panther is snoring loudly.*
eight Krabbensteifs
Hess: They're nothing compared to the MESCALs.
seven "perfect plans"
Yang Ming: Goeddel, you do realize that you're nothing more than a pawn in my perfect plan, right?
six Lime tackles
Lime: Ne, ne, Bloodberry, why do you giggle wickedly when you mention your "favorite thing in the universe?" Is it something that I'd be interested in trying on Otaru?
Bloodberry: Lime, you're too young for this sort of thing.
five inventions
Gennai: What the hell does "MESCAL" stand for, anyway?
Hess: Something German that you wouldn't understand.
four hot springs ads
Bloodberry: Now where did I *hic* put them? Here, hotty hotty hotty hot springs ad!
three Saber Dolls
*The two sober Saber Dolls sweatdrop at Bloodberry's ramblings*
two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
Hanagata: Damn, my HMO won't cover that!
Otaru: Hanagata, don't you know that HMOs try to weasel their way out of paying even one ryo?
and a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
*Otaru goes over to the nearest computer, and in ten seconds finds the relevant info that Iwadera and Kiyoshi couldn't find after ten days of searching.*
On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: twelve generations
Faust: Actually it took ten generations for someone to rescue Lorelei.
Lorelei: Only if we go by your standards.
eleven yaoi fanfics
President Joy: Did someone call me?
Hanagata: AAAACK!
ten female wet dreams
Cherry: What do you mean by calling them "wet dreams?" I'm not perverted like some people I know. *glares at Bloodberry*
nine sake binges
Lime: Heh heh, they fell asleep!
eight Krabbensteifs
Yang Ming: Let's pit the Krabbensteifs against the MESCALs and see who wins.
Hess: My money's on the MESCALs.
Goeddel: I'll bet on the Krabbensteifs.
seven "perfect plans"
Goeddel: After all, the Krabbensteifs are part of my perfect plan to take over the world!
Lime: Watch "Pinky and the Brain" much, do we?
six Lime tackles
*Lime glomps Otaru*
Lime: Otaru's mine!
five inventions
Gennai: Frankly, I'd put my money on the Japonessguar.
Yang Ming: I'm not the kind of person that would gamble, but in this case, I'll bet on the Mesopotamia. Fan-Fan, would you get us some more tea please?
Fan-Fan: Certainly.
four hot springs ads
Bloodberry(seizing an ad): I found you, my precious!
Cherry: Great, now she's sounding like a character from "The Lord of the Rings."
three Saber Dolls
Tiger: You wanna carry her, or shall I?
Luchs: I have a better idea. We both carry her.
*They proceed to drag the sleeping Panther back to their apartment in Japoness.*
two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
Hanagata: B-b-b-b-but Ot-t-t-t-taru-kuuuuun! You couldn't possibly know what I've been through this entire song!
and a funky pumpkin-topped tree-ee-ee-ee.
*Iwadera and Kiyoshi look at the results of Otaru's search in chagrin.*
Kiyoshi: Aww, shit. Looks like we'll have to start over.
OWARI