Please note that as of 04 March 2015 Chapters One through Six have all been rewritten. There aren't any plot changes per se, but there have been edits. Chapter Seven is brand new.

I do not own Ouran.

Remember Me

Chapter One — I Never Stopped Loving You

For once, Tamaki found himself at the grocery store instead of at a restaurant or ordering take out. It was a rare occasion when he had both the time and will to cook a meal for himself—not that he was, or ever had been, much of a cook. He turned down the next aisle absently, thinking more about what he wanted to make than where he was going. For years, it had been the same. Going through the motions of life without ever really living. It was an unfortunate truth, but nothing had ever felt the same since Kaoru had left. Sure, he'd tried to move on, but it didn't seem possible. He'd even gone so far as to hallucinate the redhead on that very night, in that very aisle of the store.

Wait—hallucinating in public places was something that he had never done before. But there, clear as day, was...Kaoru. Tamaki blinked, not believing his eyes. It couldn't be, no...but it had to be. Surely the cosmos wouldn't play such a prank. He felt the sweat gathering on the handle of the shopping basket he held in his hand, just standing in the aisle staring at the man. A woman further down peered at him curiously from behind the box she held. He refocused his gazed on the petite man examining packages of crackers. Tamaki willed himself to say something as he watched the redhead bite his lower lip in thought and shift his weight onto his right foot, causing his left hip to jut out slightly. These actions left no doubt in his mind; this was him.

"Kaoru?" Tamaki said finally, hesitantly.

The redhead turned with an eyebrow raised. "T-Tamaki?" he gasped. For a moment, his mouth stood agape before it stretched into a brilliant smile. Tamaki couldn't help but to look him up and down, still in disbelief. Kaoru, in the flesh. Kaoru, standing there innocently and beautiful, wearing a red short-sleeved shirt underneath a white vest, blue capris, and white tennis shoes. Even the black canvas bag that hung over his shoulder was beautiful. "Tamaki, wow," Kaoru said after a pause, "how long has it been?"

Too long, Tamaki thought, but his answer was, "Nearly ten years, I think." He averted his eyes nervously, remembering the last time he had seen Kaoru.

"I understand. It's all right." Kaoru said, standing up calmly. "I knew this day would come."

"Kaoru," Tamaki started, but he couldn't find the words to say. He just watched as Kaoru slipped his clothing back on and pulled his suitcase out of the closet. There was no anger in his actions, no sadness in his words. His voice nor his hands trembled as Tamaki had envisioned. Frankly, it sucked. As much as he wanted to avoid a row or a fit of crying, he didn't expect this...apathetic act. He knew that Kaoru was not, in fact unaffected by this, and to act like he was was insulting. It made Tamaki's heart hurt. But all he could do was lay back in bed, so as to not watch his lover pack up his things.

"Tamaki? Tamaki. Hello?" Tamaki blinked the memories away and grinned sheepishly.

"Sorry, Kaoru." Kaoru's sweet smiled settled back onto his face. Tamaki's heart skipped a beat.

"That's all right. I was just asking what you were up to. If maybe you...wanted to catch up."

Tamaki grinned. "Of course. Would you like to come over?"

Kaoru nodded. "That sounds great. My plans for tonight were just to buy a bottle of wine, drink it all, and fall asleep in my hotel room," he chucked, looking at the white-tiled floor. Tamaki noticed the light pink blush that had fallen onto Kaoru's cheeks and couldn't help blushing himself. You've always been so beautiful, he thought.

"We could do that if you want," Tamaki chuckled, scratching the back of his head nervously. "I came to buy something to make for dinner," he said, gesturing to the basket. "I was thinking fish, but, maybe you have a suggestion?"

Kaoru shook his head. "Fish sounds great. Anything sounds great."

Tamaki couldn't help but to smile as Kaoru's laugh filled the room, bringing warmth to the cold, lonely flat. His golden eyes sparkled as he looked back at Tamaki, his head resting in his left hand. Kaoru sighed, smiling. "You haven't changed. Not one bit." He paused to admire Tamaki's face, then reached out for his wine glass.

"I hope that's a good thing," Tamaki joked, moving to refill Kaoru's glass.

"Of course. You're still the man I fell in love with." Tamaki's hand trembled, nearly spilling wine onto the white tablecloth. Kaoru giggled at the slip up, obviously becoming drunk. "Everything is just as it was when I left. Your haircut, your wardrobe, your face... The furniture hasn't moved an inch. You haven't even taken down the pictures."

Tamaki blushed. "I've been busy. I didn't want to. I'm barely here anymore. It would be useless to put work into a place I only sleep in. In fact," he said, standing up to start clearing the table, "this is the first time I've cooked in three months. And I haven't had a guest for longer. This...feels nice. It feels like home again."

"You've missed me, huh?" Kaoru giggled again. "You didn't want to change anything. You didn't want to forget me."

"If you'll make me admit it, then yes. That's exactly it," Tamaki said, his blush growing.

"You know, I've never stopped loving you."

"You're wearing my clothes," Kaoru said simply.

"Huh?" Tamaki grunted groggily. He rolled over to see the clock, but the sleep blurred his eyes, and he honestly didn't have the energy to do anything about it.

"I said," Kaoru smiled, turning toward the blond, "you have been wearing my clothing." He continued to rifle through the articles that hung neatly in the closet. "Well, not this. Or this. Oh, Tamaki, why would you ever wear this? And this has my name on the tag but it's fake. I hope you didn't pay full price."

Tamaki lay back in his bed, rubbing his eyes and struggling to understand the other man. "Um, good morning," he finally settled on saying.

"Morning, sleepyhead," Kaoru chuckled. It was not the same light-hearted sound from the night before. "Let's go get dressed and have breakfast. I know this fantastic little place right by—"

"You're naked!"

Kaoru turned back toward the blond and nodded. "Yes, I am. Thank you for noticing. Now, should we—"

"Why are you naked?" Tamaki exclaimed. "Am I naked, too?" He lifted up the bedsheets to find that his own body was also devoid of clothing.

Kaoru rolled his eyes. "It's not like we've never had sex before. Now, let's have breakfast." He walked over to the bed, setting some clothes in front of Tamaki. "You should wear this. I mean, if you really don't want to, then don't. But I think you'll look handsome." He sauntered off toward the bathroom, leaving Tamaki dumbfounded on the bed.

"We had sex?"

"So, Kaoru," Tamaki started nervously as he watched the redhead spread jam onto bread.

"Tamaki," Kaoru said sweetly, "please don't get all riled up about this. We don't have to make this into a big thing. We can even forget about it, if you'd like." He took a bite about of his toast. "Do you like the outfit I put together for you?"

"Actually, yes; I never would have thought of pairing—oh, wait. No, I don't want to forget about it, Kaoru. I—I still love you." A mix of feelings bubbled up within him. "I just—I just don't know where to go from here."

"Well, did you have something in mind?" Kaoru responded impatiently. "Because I have a meeting to go to in three hours." He paused to take another bite out of the toast and chewed thoughtfully. "And then I'm back on a plane. So unless you can think of something to keep me here, I'm going home after hopefully making a deal with some new retailers."

Tamaki frowned. How can he say all of that so nonchalantly? Sitting there eating like there isn't anything wrong. Sipping juice without a care in the world. "Look, isn't loving me enough? Why do I have to force you to stay? I just want to love you; I just want this to be easy."

"Easy?" Kaoru's eyes narrowed as he slammed his cup back down onto the table. "Love isn't easy. People aren't easy. Relationships and happiness and having careers are not easy. If you want to love me, you have to love my job and my flaws and working hard. If you want easy, let's meet up Brokeback Mountain style and fuck once a month. If you want easy, we'll end up hating each other and ruining whatever is even left of...this. You can pick whichever one you want and I'll bite, but you can't have both. You can't have me and easy. You can only have easy and sex. Is that what you want? Is that what you really want?"

"Kaoru, I—lower your voice, please." Tamaki blushed faintly from embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I just...I don't know what you want from me."

"I—Tamaki." Kaoru sighed harshly. "I'm really trying, but I'm running out of patience. Being away from you hasn't been good for me. I've changed. And I don't know if you'll love the person you left behind, this person I've turned into. But I want to try. And you have to want to try to. No, not want to. You must. We should get married."

"Kaoru, you're being ridiculous."

"Am I? Are you willing to be with me? In front of your family and everyone in the company? Because I won't have my heart go through that again." Tamaki looked back at him sheepishly, and Kaoru knew in that moment that really, nothing had changed. Not his face, not his haircut, and not his attitude. Kaoru shook his head in disbelief. "Either you're ready to tell them you're not marrying a woman or you're ready to live your lie and sleep with me on the side. Just know that I won't be there for you when someone else has the courage to fight for me."