Title: Suffice My Retribution
Author: NT aka Aku-chan
Pairing(s): Se-cr-et!
Warning(s): Shonen Ai/Yaoi of course, angst, character death, uhhh... ooc? The usual warnings for any of my fics basically...
Disclaimer: I don't own any Fruits Basket characters. Rawr.
Aku: Well... since my laptop went byebye for a while and I'm left writing from scratch, I can't continue my Reach For Me ficcy. So I decided to write this one-shot to pass the time (and being distracted from my summer work is just a coincidental bonus!)
WwWwW"Maybe tomorrow," he whispered to the shadows in his eyes, unable to cease the torrents of screams scathing against his throat. His fingernails clawed painfully at his scalp, willing away the demons in his masochism, only to gouge deeper into his burning flesh. He shut his ears to everything that made him and everything that brought him to this self-pitying loathing mass, wondering when his eyes would close as well. But the sensation tearing at his unfocused eyes brought on a new welcomed distraction and discomfort to the already straining atmosphere. He glanced hopeful to the memory-covered walls, wishing them to give under the pressure from the overbearing roof and shatter him into unfixable pieces.
He wasn't even sure if tomorrow was a day he wished to see or ever see because then it would just be farther away in the end. He wiped at his scorching eyes uselessly, knowing that even if he didn't wish for tomorrow, it would come and find him anyways. Whether you like it or not, he remembered hearing once that it was only yesterday truly, but it was only another in his count of yesterdays.
The footsteps claimed his haven, sheltered among the noises ranging from his screams to his softening whimpers until he collapsed under himself. But he neither acknowledged nor heard the approach, letting it slide into the unconscious part of his mind, which remained to continuously grow.
When will the sun set
"I hate to love you," he said, voice smothered in more honesty than he had ever held before. "Because loving you means I'll be faced with more pain than I could ever handle. You don't even have to do a single thing but look at me with those eyes – those eyes I treasure so deeply that I would do anything to please you. And even when you aren't here, you shatter any remains of my will with only the memory of indifference, only to torch my remains and leave me sentenced to an unsatisfying end. And even then, I feel the same as I had back then. I hate to love you."
"You're happy, aren't you?" His sardonic laugh filled the gaping silence trying to fight back in claims of their beloved victim. "You could never truly break me before. You tried everything, even pushing me to my limits where I swore I touched death. It was my will that had attracted your sadism, and you wanted so dearly to crush it. You must be so satisfied now that you have succeeded."
He wrapped his arms tightly around his knees, his grown bangs falling limply over his eyes in a semblance to a curtain. He clutched tightly at his hair, calming down his pacing heart, roaming over his memories easily. A set of eyes watched him calmly, poised simply by the open doorway. He toyed around with the idea of his vengeance, but was reminded harshly of the encounter from his last attempt.
And let me hide for another day
"But I won't let you win, you know that, don't you?" He unraveled slowly, leaning back against the hardened floor, stretching out the sore muscles in his back, gazing slowly at the open sky above him, encased in glass. "You knew. I know you knew. And it made you smile in all your sadistic glory, didn't it? I knew too. I told you, after all. I was never that careless, and somewhere deep down, you figured that out too."
He chuckled languidly, feet dangling from the edge of the porch. The screams had softened in his throat and when he shook at his eyes, it wasn't as useless as it had been. The sun was setting in the distance and the stars had peeked out on the blanketing darkness, but both went unnoticed to the man. "This is my revenge. You never did anything but torment me, and even without you around, you knew what you were doing. You continued to play the fool, so one day I would be sprawled beneath you pleading for your touch. Is that what you hoped or is that my foolishness again?"
When nothing will be okay
The slight hinge of his lips broke easily from the raw breathing of the other so close to his ears, filling his senses with warmth he had forgotten for the moment. "Is that what you were waiting for?"
"Yes." The single worded answer floated hauntingly across the shadowed path between the two, the falling sun approaching its bed. A hollowed laugh ran along the shadows dancing across the walls of the sparse room.
"Well, I said it. I love him. I love him so much... but didn't I give my heart to you? Never. I didn't. I said I did, but I didn't." The mist was returning, the weight on his heart far greater than any scar remaining on his torn body.
"I know," he whispered in response, leaving no room for question.
"Then do something! Yell at me! Tell me what a selfish bastard I am! Hit me for all I care!" He growled out in displaced anger, rising as the sun was a mere sliver in the horizon, still allowing a splash of mismatching paints across his touched skin.
So I can find the meaning
"Will it remind you of him?" It was asked in such a precise way, so delicate yet scathing that he easily crumbled beneath the words, clawing at the air on his way down for any support, only to find arms wrapped around his torso when he reached the floor.
"Why...? You know now, so why?" His voice was desperate, growing softer and weaker as the days passed. "I told you I love him, didn't I? What do you expect from me now?"
"Nothing at all." Lips pressed gently against the back of his neck. "All I need is what is left of you. That's enough for me."
"I'm sorry... sorry..." He crumbled deeper into the arms of a man who he betrayed each day with his returns to this place. "I'm so sorry... Please... don't leave me..."
"I won't. I love you, Kyou." He tightened his arms around the breaking feline, wondering what would be left of him tomorrow. The sun drifted softly, released a world of shadows to devour the world, only to have the moon force back the first layers of the dark. As the tears drowned in the music of night, slumber finally found room to grace the man in his arms, allowing Kyou to fall into a dreamless sleep.
In a world only I can say
"You must be a masochist to put up with him still." Not needing to face the owner of the voice, he smiled gently, glancing down at the one his heart had decided to become centered on.
"Maybe," he replied with a smile still playing on his lips.
"So... you really do love him, don't you, Ayame?" His moon-kissed eyes grinned, pushing away a stray bang from Kyou's face gently, before placing a soft kiss on the redhead's forehead.
"Yeah... I really do, Hatori..." Gazing thoughtfully at the brilliant sky, he wished longingly for the moon to stay forever. The two sat in companionable silence, looking out towards the opened doors, revealing a world of beauty, while above lay the same world encased in glass. "You know, when the sun sets, the moon is always there."
"I guess it is."
Silence reigned once more, until Hatori decided to call an end to the day, lifting the lone flower in his hand on the ground in front of the small porch. He turned back towards the door he entered, bidding a good night to the silver-haired hebi.
"The moon loves the sun, doesn't it?"
"Yeah."
"I'm sure the sun feels the same. Just give him some time."
"Thanks, Hari..." The footsteps faded from his hearing range, leaving the two alone once more. Silver-stained eyes glanced over to the flower Hatori had just placed down in front of the large gravestone. He traced over the letters, and then glanced down at the sun in his lap.
"Funny how life works. You tried so hard to break him, and look where it's gotten you." Ayame smiled sadly for the one curled deeply into his skin, eyes narrowing at the block of stone facing towards him. "And he finally did. All because he loved you. I hope you're satisfied, Akito..."
I'll pray for the moon to forever stay
The End
WwWwWAku: so... I'm guessing you figured out the pairings, and if not, here you go – Pairing(s): Onesided KyouAkito and AyameKyou. Hehe I know, it's kind of odd, but I decided to have random pairings and being a fan of the rare AyameKyou, why not incorporate one of my favorite pairings! My logic is so cool, envy it.
Kyou: Review...
Aku: Don't you seem happy...
Kyou: You made me in love with Akito and all heartbroken and crap! And then you pair me up with that fruit, Ayame!
Aku: ...and?
Kyou: x.x