I watched the walls around me crumble
But its not like that will build them up again
So here your last change for redemption
So take it while it lasts because it will end
And my tears are turning into time I've wasted
trying to find a reason for goodbye
After all he put her through she put up with but now she's not so sure if he's lying.
Jo awoke to a dull, rainy morning but she was used to them by now but in herself she felt life-less and dull and not her bubbly self, the reason was she had no idea.
Maybe because her relationship was nearly dead and because she knew PJ wasn't interested and if wasn't then she wasn't because for the first few months he was her everything and deep inside he always will be.
"hey" Susie greeted Jo
"heya" Jo replied trying to pretend everything was fine
"Parrish, my office now" Tom bellowed
"Yes, Boss" Jo asked as she walked in slower than usual
"now Jo what is wrong with you?" Tom asked
"Boss, there aren't enough hours in the day for all of my problems" Jo sighed
"ok, but I'm always here to talk" Tom smiled
"thanks Boss but I'd have to pay you to listen" Jo laughed slightly as she walked out.
Out on patrol, things went from bad to worse , Jonesy wouldn't stop asking her for dating advice and tips to get Susie to like him, but she finally cracked and went off at poor innocent Jonesy .
"JONESY TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH I REALLY DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE AND I AM NOT THE WORLDS GREATEST LOVE ADVICE PERSON THEY HAVE TO WHO DO THAT AS A PREFESSION" Jo yelled at him
"I'm sorry Jo" Jonesy apologise scarcely
"nah, don't worry , its me I have no idea whats wrong with me" Jo told him
"why don't you , Suse , Ames and Kel all have a D&M" Jonesy suggested
"hey, have you seen Peej today at all, just out of pure curiosity" Jo asked
"Nope, havent seen him at all , but hasn't he had a fling with the new waitress at the pub" Jonesy asked
"well that's the first I've heard of it all" Jo replied looking shocked as they pulled up to the station.
Jo saw PJ quickly duck into the coffee room and so she followed him to ask about their "relationship"
"heya PJ" Jo greeted him
"oh g'day Jo" PJ replied with a smile
'what no hello sweetie or hello babe' Jo thought
"what case you working on?" Jo asked
"ummm I'm doing some filing so Amy and I know whats – what" PJ told her as he exited accidentally bumping her.
I cant live without you
Can't breathe without you I Dream about you honestly
Tell me that its over
Because the world is spinning and I'm still living
It wont be right if were not in it together
Tell me that it's over
And ill be the first to go
My tears are turning into time
I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye
'why did she ask all those questions?' PJ asked himself,
"PJ no need to lie, I already know" Jo said behind him in tears
"know about what?" PJ asked
"Don't play dumb you're too smart for that" Jo said ironically with tears streaming down a million to one at a time
"seriously Jo I have no idea what your on about" PJ said as he went to hug her
"don't touch me, you cheating lying mongrel" Jo shouted shrugging him off
"lying……Jo I've never EVER lied to you" PJ told her
"well what about the bar-maid" Jo said
"Jo…who told you that and anyway that's my cousin Gwen" PJ said to her softly
"if you must know it was Jonesy and he said you two looked really chummy more than friends or relatives" Jo yelled
"WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON IN HERE?" Tom asked as he walked to find Jo in tears and PJ trying to hug her
"Parrish, you're coming with me" Tom ordered
Jo sniffed as she walked out
"PJ, I'll be the first to go but don't want to be the last to know" Jo said to him as she walked out behind Tom.
When Jo was out of his office PJ contemplated his future with "Gwen" the bar-maid , who in fact wasn't his cousin and then there was Jo, sweet , caring , innocent Jo and after all this thinking he did what he usually does after a fight or something , he put his head in his hands and rubbed his head.
In Toms office, Jo had finished crying for now.
"Jo, what was going on in there?" Tom asked sympathetically
"Tom, you asked what was wrong this morning so know I guess everyone knows, I finally cracked, everything's out" Jo said assertively
"why didn't you ask him at home?" Tom asked
"because he will never talk to me EVER" Jo rolled her eyes at the thought of her and PJ talking civilly
"Jo , are you sure your not depressed" Tom said with interest
"Pfft , me depressed that would be the day" Jo rolled her eyes again
"Parrish, go and get a doctors certificate saying your not then, and this might well be that day" Tom ordered
"yes boss I'll go to the hospital now and ask if I can see a doctor" Jo said as she stood up
"that's more like it Parrish" Tom smiled
As Jo walked out of Toms office it felt like she entered another world all together
But taking it all in her stride, she grabbed a pair of car keys as all the watchful eyes looked closely at her,
"what do you all have a staring problem?" Jo asked sarcastically
everyone shook their head and got back to work, when suddenly PJ ran out,
Jo just looked him up and down , then turned on her heel and waltzed out.
"Jo" PJ yelled as he followed her out
"what this time …you want to make me feel even worse about myself or something?" Jo asked him as she sped up
"no, but I want to come with you" PJ stated
"why in the hell would you want to come?" Jo demanded
"because……….because I care about you" PJ said quietly
"What?" Jo looked blank as a piece of paper
"I care about you and if I had to tell everyone one I would" PJ said
"Pfft whatever you reckon" Jo said on as she jumped into the car.
At the hospital, Jo was trembling with panic and anxiety that perhaps Tom was right,
"ah Joanna Parrish" the doctor called
"yep" Jo stood up and walked over
"Hi, Joanna , I'm Doctor McGraw" Dr. McGraw said
"hello, and please call me Jo" Jo said politely
"ok sure, now Jo what reason are you here for , to me you seem to be a young healthy, trim woman" Dr. McGraw asked her
"well, my boss thinks I'm depressed" Jo told the doctor
"ok, yep anything else" Dr. McGraw said as he noted all of what she said down
"well, I do have a little question" Jo sighed
"yep whats that?" he asked
"well, is it possible that I'm pregnant?" Jo asked with a sigh
"yes, of course it is, many women I see have all the symptoms of depression and it turns of they are actually pregnant but first we have to run tests to make a proper analysts of your condition" Dr. McGraw finished
"ok then, when and where do I get them done?" Jo asked with confidence
"here" Dr. McGraw said as he passed her a pregnancy test
"I didn't think doctors gave these out" Jo said with a slight laugh
"yes we do, now all you have to do is go home take the test and come back and see me in a week or so" Dr. McGraw smiled
"thanks Doc" Jo smiled a fake smile as she left.
Once you've loved somebody
It ain't that easy to do
Once you've loved somebody
Like I loved you
As Jo Drove home she wondered what difference a baby would make to hers and PJ's relationship, she would have to do all the hard yakka with the baby, was it the right idea to go thought with it all or should get rid of it and get on with her life, hang on she thought I have no idea if there is even anything growing inside me.
As she pulled up she shoved the test in her bag and seeing PJ's car there made her feel even worse, walking felt like being on death row but she mustered up the courage,
"hey Jo" PJ smiled
"heya" Jo said quickly as she raced to the bathroom
'oh shit the test is out in my bag' Jo thought
"Hey Jo do you have ten dollars for the Chinese?" PJ asked as she walked out
"ah yeah I'll get it for you" Jo smiled
"nah, I can do it" PJ strolling over to her bag
"whats the point when I have to get something out of there anyway" Jo kept smiling
"ok then" PJ said starting to get suspicious
As Jo reached in and got her wallet.
An hour later PJ left to go to the Imperial to see his sister, that had just arrived in town,
Jo got her courage up, slowly she walked into the bathroom, and clutching the test in her hands praying to god it would be negative.
"please ,please ,please" Jo prayed crossing her fingers,
when suddenly she heard PJ's car pull up
the key was slowly turning in the knob, as PJ was so protective her made her lock the door after the Darcy incident.
Jo heard PJ laughing like she hadn't heard in age, slowly with a tear running down her face and looking at the test and seeing that unfortunately for her it was positive.
Slowly walking into the room she shared with PJ and wiping her eyes, she just sat there and looked at the test with thoughts going through her mind at a million a minute, deciding her future in one minute wasn't an easy decision but being the person she was, she decide since it was someone she loved and trusted that was the father, her would have to accept her and his child.
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby
Now was time to fess up under no matter what circumstances PJ had right to know that he would soon be a dad, even though PJ plus kids equalled a nightmare, but Jo being Jo she got up off the bed where she had gotten comfy and marched out to the living room, and there she saw PJ's sister whom looked uncannily like him.
"Jo, this is my sister Zoe" Jo smiled
"hi" Jo smiled weakly
"hey, oh my god, its so good to finally meet the person who has made my big brother really happy" Zoe smiled a matching smile to PJ's
"here I am" Jo tried for a real smile but it wasn't to be.
Two hours later Zoe conked out on their couch and PJ and Jo headed off to bed, with Jo contemplating telling him while he was in a good mood.
"night sweetie" PJ said as he hugged her
"hey Peej" Jo said sitting up-right
"mmm" PJ mumbled
"I kinda have something to tell you" Jo said looking at the window
"yep, what" PJ said bolting up-right with all his concentration focused on her
"well, I'm pregnant, god it fells good to get that off my chest" Jo sighed with somewhat of a relief
"wow" PJ said in amazement
"so what is that it wow?" Jo asked
"no, I'm trying to get my head around it" PJ started to laugh
"what's so funny?" Jo smiled
"mini you and mini me" PJ smiled
"yeah, it is pretty funny" Jo said as they snuggled up for the night with PJ not taking his hands off her stomach.
As the sun poked through the blinds Jo awoke to an empty bed, so she stretched out, and thinking about how happy they will all be.
"PJ" Jo said as she pulled on a dressing gown
walking out to the kitchen she saw breakfast was all set up on a tray, all for me , Jo thought
"Jo, no go back to bed" PJ said from behind her
"why" she said spinning around and kissing him
"because, its was supposed to be a surprise" PJ whimpered
"oh really?" Jo smiled not being able to wipe the smile off her face
And with that he picked her up and carried her into bed then ran out and got the food.
A week later, Jo had noticed herself becoming more fatigued and restless and just thought it was a pregnancy thing, but after she had a lye down she had notice blood in the bed so she rushed to the toilet but by the time she had got there, the blood came faster and it was then she relised she had just miscarried her baby, she sobbed in a silent and solum ball in which she had curled up into.
"Jo, where are you" PJ call out to her, with a huge grin on his face
No answer, PJ started to worry, all the what if's came to his mind except for the one he was about to discover.
"Jo" PJ said as he slowly pushed open the bathroom door,
and there he saw Jo surrounded in a little pool of blood and mascara down her cheeks,
"Jo, are you ok, what happened?" PJ said with worry in his voice and hugging Jo at her level
"PJ, the baby" Jo sobbed
"don't worry everything will be fine, I'll go ring the ambo's" PJ said getting his mobile out of his pocket.
What Will happen to Jo?
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