halloo... so! this is my first fanfic! I hope you all enjoy. c: I'm not too sure what else to say... uh, I'm not really depressed, I just had this idea for a while. And i'm not trying to mock anyone who might be depressed with this story... so yeh... enjoy, I suppose. c:
Haku was never truly happy. She was a 20 year old lady, and felt as if she was a failure. Everything about her was a failure. She never seemed to be good enough for anything. Atleast, in her eyes she wasn't. She couldn't get a job, nobody seemed to like her, and she had barely any of friends. She hated herself for it. But, Haku didn't know what to do. In a sense, she was kind of used to it. Content, even. Haku wanted to change, but at the same time, she didn't. Was it even worth it? Would people take a liking to her?
Haku wasn't the only one who was depressed. Her cousin, Dell, was too. Atleast he could hide it better. He just seemed more angered than anything. He smoked, to relieve stress. Haku, however, was an alchoholic. Sake always eased the pain. Unfortunately, she usually drank enough to drink herself into a coma. It was the usual. Dell would usually take care of her when she was hungover, smoking all the way through, but it wasn't enough. He was helpfull, but wasn't there enough, leaving Haku to feel even more alone.
There was a certain someone she valued more than Dell, however. Her best—heck, probably her only true friend. Neru Akita. Haku valued the little blonde so much. She was like a sister, to Haku. Or maybe even more. Haku had vowed to protect Neru from the day she first met her—it seemed as if Neru was a little depressed herself, always isolated, texting, keeping her mouth shut. Haku would be willing to change for Neru. She was worth it. Haku always remembered how Neru would say she wished Haku would be a little more happier, and then start blushing in embaressment, turning away.
Neru was just too cute! Haku just wanted to hug her and never ever let her go. She really did love Neru. But she was convinced, Neru was straight. She'd never look at Haku as anything more than a friend, or a sister, at the most. Dell would always tell Haku to just give up on the blonde, it was hopeless. Haku knew he was probably right. Neru didn't like her like that.
Infact, Neru liked someone else. Haku knew this. Mainly because Neru always came to Haku for advice. Espicially with boys. Haku wasn't too sure why, as she had little to none experience with guys, or girls—or anyone, for that matter. But her advice always seemed to help Neru out. Or so she said. Haku supposed she was happy for the little blonde. "If she's happy, then so am I." Haku had told herself this so many times. And it was true, she really was. That's all Haku wanted. Was for Neru to be happy. Neru was like the sunshine to her dull life, so to see her happy brought Haku a little happiness.
It didn't stop the fact that she was still lonely though. Haku always thought that if Neru were to get a boyfriend, that would be it. Neru would never come back to take care of Haku, or just too hangout, and Haku would be alone, forever, once again. It was kind of a bittersweet thought. Her other half would be happy, but what about her, herself? Would Haku ever truly be happy? She had two friends that were average, and they were good enough for her, but would she be able to keep them? Haku knew Dell would probably stick around, seeing as he was just as depressed as Haku, but if he was just as depressed, it didn't help. No.
Neru, even if she isolated herself, was far more cheery and interesting than she or Dell would ever be. Haku loved hearing stories Neru would tell. Half the times they were silly things like videos she saw on the internet, or how she pranked someone with her friends again, or how that certain someone had been texting her alot lately—it didn't matter. It could be anything, and it would bring Haku some happiness to her dry life. Anything was important, if it came from Neru.
Today was no different.
Haku was sitting around in the apartment she shared with Dell. It was a wonder how Hakuu managed to keep the apartment, seeing as she had no job, which means no money to pay for the apartment room every month. That's where Dell came in handy. The man was a workaholic. He would work his ass off. He was a technician. Oh damn, was he good. He was focused on work. A perfectionist. Which was why he was rarely home. He'd get so concentrated on work, that everything had to be perfect before he could leave it alone. And even then, he'd find something he'd want to fix, even if everything was perfect, causing him to stay late. Oh well, it was good pay, so Haku couldn't complain.
Haku was laying in the living room on the couch, watching tv. Or, trying to. It wasn't working. The tv was all static. And to make matters worse, Haku was already drunk, and she had just finished off the last bottle. She needed more.
"Dell... The tv ain't working... and I need more sake..." Haku called, her words slurred. She had forgotten that he was already gone at work. He had left two hours ago. Leaving her alone.
There was a knock at the door.
"Deeeeellll? Is that youuuuu? Did you get me more sake already?" Haku called out.
"Nope! Neru." A voice came, as the door cracked open. The little blonde Haku loved so much was here, standing in the door way.
"Jees, you're drunk already? I just got here, Haku..." Neru sighed, as she took her coat off, tossing it aside.
"Sorry..." Haku murmured.
"You gotta stop drinking so much, girl." Neru shook her head disapprovingly, helping herself into the kitchen, searching through the cupboards.
"What are youuuu doing heeereee?" Haku asked, sitting up. She was still drunk out of her mind. The gray haired lady swayed back and forth, before giving in and falling back again. "Visiting little 'ol me... I thought you had a more interesting life..."
Neru came back with a glass of orange juice and a loaf of bread. "Well, you are my friend, after all. And don't say that! I'm usually here. Because we're friends. Don't tell me you forgot that already!" Neru laughed, joking about the last part. She then handed her friend the drink and bread. "This should help for your hangover."
"Thank you... and I didn't forget..." Haku paused to take a sip of the orange juice. "It's just, y'know... you have such a more fun life, and yet you're hanging out with someone like me."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Neru asked. "You're my best friend. And our lives are about the same. I don't have shit to do. I'm still living at home with my parents. And you, you have an apartment with Dell. I think you're the one with a more interesting life, here!" The blonde exclaimed.
"Respect your parents, Neru... they're the best friends you'll ever have in life. Living alone isn't as great as it seems." Haku smiled a little, finishing off the juice. She was starting to feel a little better. Better enough to atleast sit upright.
Neru rolled her eyes. "I'd rather live alone."
"Well, come live with me and Dell, silly!" Haku suggested.
Neru rolled her eyes. "Good one. My parents would never let me leave. Not to come live with some drunk, anyways."
Haku frowned a little, looking into Neru's eyes. "I'm not always drunk, yaknow..."
"I'm kidding!" Neru laughed a little, hugging Haku. "I know you aren't. And you know I'd come live with you if I could."
Haku accepted the hug, wrapping her arms tightly around the little blonde, never wanting to let go. She knew what Neru was telling was the truth, but even so, that little remark had hurt her. She wasn't always drunk, and she would deffinately change for Neru, if she wanted that. Haku knew she had a problem, and she knew she had to fix it, but it was so hard. The lady squeezed Neru a little tighter, burying her head into her shoulder. "Please never leave me... you're the best friend i've ever had..." Haku whispered.
Neru heard that. She pulled away, keeping her grip on Haku's arms, to look her in the eyes. "Why would I leave you? You really think I'd leave you?" Neru looked equally hurt. "Haku, i've told you before, and i'll tell you again, I'd never leave you. I need you just as much as you need me." Neru smiled sympathetically, before pulling her back into a tight hug. "We're for life, Haku. Remember that." She whispered.
Haku had to fight the urge not to cry right there and then. She lived Neru so much. She truly was the greatest friend she'd ever have.
After a while, they pulled away once again. Haku had tears in her eyes. "Why are you crying, Haku?" Neru asked, wiping the tears from Haku's eyes.
"i'm not crying..." Haku sniffled.
Neru smiled sympathetically. "We're best friends. Remember that, Haku. I'll never leave you. So, stop worrying, okay?" She said, and Haku nodded, trying to get rid of the tears. Haku sighed heavily, before forcing a smile.
"I trust you. Now... what's been up, lately?" Haku asked, changing the subject.
Neru then went on to talk about how that certain someone had been texting her alot lately. And to make matters even better, she had a date with him! Next week, infact!
"I'm so happy!" Neru exclaimed, near tears.
Haku smiled gently. "Good. I'm happy for you, Neru."
But that feeling came back. That feeling that she'd be abandoned by her friend. Now that she had a date, what would happen o Haku? Would Neru forget about her? Haku really hoped not. But, she trusted Neru, and she hoped Neru would keep her promise in saying the two were for life.
A week later, not much changed. Haku still drunk herself into a near coma almost everyday, and Dell was still busy with work. One thing was different, however. Today was the date of Neru's date. Today, Haku felt even more depressed and lonely than ever. Neru hadn't visited all week, and since Dell was working all the time, she was lonely. Neru hadn't even texted Haku during the week! Haku wondered how her friend was doing... maybe she had just forgotten? Neru always got like that when she was excited for something... Haku didn't blame her. She had a date. It had been years since Haku had been on a date. Oh wait. She hadn't even been on a date, before! Ever. "Oops." Haku laughed sadly to herself.
Haku felt horrible. She felt even more depressed. If Dell was here atleast, it would maybe subside her depression, even just a little. He was a person, and he did have a mouth that could talk, after all. Atleast she wouldn't be completely alone. Haku wished someone would come and visit her... Neru, especially. It had only been a week, and Haku already missed her dearly. Everything about her. From the scent of her hair, to golden eyes, to her blushing cheeks. Everything. There was nothing Haku could do, though. She didn't want to disturb Neru on what was supposed to be the best day of her life, just too complain about how lonely Haku was.
She wanted Neru to be happy. But what about Haku? She felt unwanted and depressed. She knew that nobody liked her. "Why am I still alive...?" She questioned, as tears fell from her eyes. Haku began crying so hard, she didn't realise she had fallen asleep.
A few hours later, Haku woke up. She checked her phone. As usual, nobody had texted her. No Neru, no Dell, no anyone. It was 8 or so now, she was guessing. It was dark out by now. "I bet Neru is having fun..." Haku thought.
With some strength, Haku got off the couch, trying to balance herself, so she wouldn't fall over. The girl limped over to the wall, holding herself up, only to trip over a few cans of sake. Her bangs hid her eyes, and she began to cry again. "Neru..." Haku thought, as tears fell. What a fool she was, falling for someone who obviously didn't like her. Even now that Neru probably had a new boyfriend, Haku was still in love with her. Oh how stupid she felt. Why did it have to be Neru? Neru deserved someone so much better, and Haku was still stuck on her. It was a hopeless love.
Haku picked herself up again, carrying on. She was going to put a stop to this. Maybe it was a good thing Haku didn't have many friends. Because nobody would miss her.
"Haku?" A voice came, as the door creaked open. Dell was surprised to find it oddly quiet. Usually he'd hear sobbing, or murmurs, or a tv playing. But it was pure silence. Haku wouldn't be asleep, either. And if she was, he'd know. She snored in her sleep alot. But no. It was completely silent. A little to silent. An eery quiet. Dell had a feeling something was wrong.
"Haku? I bought some bears." That would always get her running at him. But still, nothing.
"Haku, come on, talk to me. What's wrong?" Dell called out, feeling more nervous.
She wasn't here. In an instant, Dell pulled out his phone, dialing Neru. Maybe she knew.
Xx
Neru was enjoying a nice dinner with her date, Akaito. He was everything she could imagine. Perfection. A hottie, sarcastic, teasing, but fun. He had so many stories, and a great sense of humour. Neru really liked him. They had gone to the park to just walk around and talk, get to know eachother, and now, they were half way through dinner. She enjoyed herself so much today. He was a great person.
As Akaito was talking, Neru's phone suddenly went off. "Ah, I-I'm really sorry," Neru studdered, taking her phone out. Dell. Neru's eyes narrowed. What, now?! What did he want? "Just a moment..." She sighed to Akaito who shrugged. "No problem." He leaned back, as Neru turned away, putting the phone up to her ear. "Dell, really, now?!" She silently hissed. "I'm kinda busy here... What do you want?"
"Is Haku with you?"
"Wait, what? No? I thought she was home with you..."
" I thought so too. But I can't find her!"
"What?! Did you look everywhere?!" Neru was near yelling now.
"I did... I don't know where she could be... usually she stays in the same place!"
"You wait right there, i'm coming back." Neru slapped the phone shut, and began to get ready in a commotion.
"Woah, wait, what's going on?" Akaito asked, suddenly alert.
"I'm sorry, I had a really nice time, but I need to go!" She said, dashing out of the restaurant as fast she could, running and running, leaving Akaito in a daze, confused.
As the apartment came into view, Neru could notice a figure on top of the building. If she squinted, she noticed it was Haku. Neru's eyes widened in fear, and ran faster, feeling as if her lungs would give out any second now. Neru ran up to the top of the building where Haku was, standing on the ledge.
"Haku, no!" Neru called, running at her.
Haku turned around, just as Neru grabbed her, pulling her off the ledge, falling to the ground. Haku suddenly felt an outburst of rage for the younger girl. "Let go of me! Get off me!" She yelled, kicking and flailing around, new, fresh tears falling from her eyes.
"No, Haku!" Neru said in return, tightening her grip on the woman.
"Why won't you just let me die, already!" Haku sobbed. "It's obvious you don't like me, so just let me go away for good!" haku continued to cry, breaking away from Neru.
Neru shook her head, and grabbed at Haku once again, hugging her, even if she squirmed in her grip. "I'm not letting you do that! Haku, we're for life, i'm not gunna let you die!" She yelled back.
By now, Haku had given up, and was curling into a ball. "But... you... you didn't call me, or come visit me, for a week... i thought you forgot about me..." She cried.
Neru froze. "I'd never forget about you, haku..." She said. "Because well... I love you." She admitted.
Haku looked up at the now blushing Neru. "You're lying." She said, not believing what she just heard.
"No, I'm not!" Neru claimed, and to prove her love, she leaned in and kissed Haku, right square on the lips. After a moment, she pulled away. Both girls were blushing.
"But... you went on a date... with some guy..." Haku whispered.
"I was just trying to hide my feelings... I really do love you, Haku. You're the only one for me." Neru said.
"Then... why...?"
"I... I didn't think you'd like me..." Neru admitted, looking away.
Haku then smiled a bit. "A-are you kidding? I thought you didn't like me."
"I-I could say the same about you..." Neru mumbled.
"Really?.. Well... I really do love you, Neru. I love you. So much. You're my saviour. Literally. Thank you..." Haku sighed, and hugged Neru tightly.
"Promise me you'll never try to jump off a building again? From now on, I'm gunna have to keep an eye out for you..." Neru sighed, smiling a little, as she hugged the olden woman tightly. Neru felt a little better. While Akaito was a nice guy and all, Haku was really her everything. Everything she'd ever want. And from now on, things were gunna change. Neru was gunna be there for Haku more often. After all, they had just admitted their love for one another, and Neru had just saved Haku's life.
"I love you, Haku..."