Chapter 1

Departure

'Go home already. And go get that girl.'

At the tree-dotted camping site, Bossun lay quietly in his sleeping bag beside the burning fire. The endless starry sky was so beautiful he gazed at it fascinatedly no matter how many times he had slept underneath such spectacular, heavenly roof.

He slowly placed a callused hand on his heart, feeling it thumping hard against his rib cage.

Lately, his mind had been occupied with the thoughts of home, of his family and friends, and of a particular girl who he had been missing a lot. Somehow, whenever the thoughts of her took over his mind, his heart would start racing like crazy.

How long has it been since I last went home?

At the moment, Bossun was travelling in Cambodia with his friend, Ryan, volunteering and helping out the people who were in need there. They'd been travelling together all around the world for the past five years, giving all the help they could give to those who needed it. He had lost count on how many countries he had travelled to, but he would never forget the people he had helped, their different faces and their real struggles. They opened up his eyes.

Before he left Japan, Bossun never knew there were so many people that needed help all over the world. Sure, he knew about them from the news and whatnot, but seeing firsthand how difficult life could get for those people made him realize how lucky he was despite how he, too, had a rather sad life background.

He had lost both his parents on the day he was born. It was unfortunate, but he was still lucky.

He was loved. He had a mother who had been best friends with his late parents, he had a younger sister who he loved dearly despite how annoying the brat could be (Rumi will always be a brat to him, no matter how old she was).

Bossun later found out that he had a twin brother who he had known back in high school as an irritating rival first, before finding out that said rival was actually his fraternal twin brother separated at birth.

In the beginning, it was hard for Bossun to think of Tsubaki Sasuke as his brother, but gradually, he began to accept him. It surprised him on how easily he did. He thought it would be a very hard thing to do, to suddenly accept someone who he practically couldn't (or wouldn't) get along with as his younger brother.

But the truth was, Bossun was simply glad that he wasn't alone in this world. That he had a brother who shared his very blood. He was grateful for Sasuke.

And he had friends. Great friends that were more like saviours to him.

Bossun let out a long sigh as he pulled out his phone from his pocket.

No new messages, huh? Guess not. I'm in a middle of nowhere. Even if I had new messages, I wouldn't be able to receive them, anyway.

But it had been a while since Himeko and Switch messaged him. On nights like this where he spent his time looking at the stars, listening to nature, Bossun felt terribly lonely.

He and Ryan didn't camp out under the stars all the time when they were travelling, but for the last two years, they had been to more remote places to help people, to help those who live at the outskirts of a jungle or small villages far away from towns, and so camping out was the only choice they had.

Getting online or a phone connection was obviously out of the question. When Bossun finally managed to get to a place with an internet or phone connection, an overwhelming stream of messages would come pouring into his phone, some more than a month old.

Maybe that was why Himeko and Switch had been sparse with their messages these past years. They knew he wouldn't receive and read them in real time, seeing how rarely he would reply to them on the spot. He didn't blame them, though. This was part of what he had chosen to do.

Bossun slid his thumb against his phone screen and a picture of Switch and Himeko appeared. It was the only recent picture he had of them. He received it more than a year ago when his friends were still actively keeping in touch with him.

In the picture, Switch and Himeko were at Daimon and Quecchon's wedding, looking like a happy, beautiful couple. Dazzling, even.

Switch looked like he could have been on the front cover of a men's magazine with that perfectly pressed smart grey suit he was wearing and the way his hair fell into his eyes, his spectacles glinting.

'Switch the pretty boy, and a damn good programmer to boot,' Bossun said quietly to himself with a chuckle.

His chuckles died down when he looked at Himeko standing beside Switch, her arm hooked familiarly around the man next to her, her head prettily tilted onto his shoulder, smiling brilliantly. Her black hair was spun perfectly into a bun with carefully left out strands framing her face. The off-white dress she wore made her look as if she was the beautiful bride of the day.

'Himeko…'

Her name left Bossun's lips without him meaning to, without him realizing it until it was out in the air. And this had been happening far too often lately.

'Himeko the beautiful school teacher,' he whispered.

His heart was starting to beat quickly again.

'That your girl?' a voice coming from beside him said.

'GYAAHH!'

Bossun yelped in surprise, sitting up in reflex. He looked around and saw his friend grinning like a kid next to him, munching on an energy bar.

'Dammit Ryan, don't scare me like that. I could've killed you!'

'Hey, don't blame me. I called you several times but you were too busy to hear me with your "Himeko the beautiful school teacher",' Ryan teased with a hearty laugh. Even in the dim firelight he could see how red Bossun's face was.

'Didn't your mother tell you not to eavesdrop on other people's conversation?' Bossun retorted with a childish pout, quickly pocketing his phone.

'Didn't realize you were having a "conversation" there,' Ryan said, making quote mark gestures with his fingers and letting out another laugh.

'Shut up and go to sleep, Ryan,' Bossun said sheepishly and lay back into his sleeping bag.

Ryan stifled his laughter and started humming a cheerful tune as he went about his business, prodding the fire carefully after he had laid out his sleeping bag.

'Where were you anyway? You left without saying a thing. You were there when I got into my sleeping bag and then you just disappeared,' Bossun asked, trying to get his heartbeat to slow down again. His heart was racing from the shock Ryan gave him just now, and also from before, when he was thinking of Himeko.

'I didn't just disappear, kid. Nature's call, you know. I said something to you but you were deep in thought, I guess,' Ryan shrugged, a mischievous smile on his lips. 'Yeah, you were staring at the sky with your hand on your heart like that,' Ryan couldn't help snickering as he placed his hand on his chest and closed his eyes with a look of mock happiness on his face.

'Cut it out, man!'

Bossun felt his face getting hotter and it was not because of the growing fire Ryan was tending to. Ryan roared with laughter, poking the fire gleefully. Bossun was about to let out another retort before he burst out laughing, too.

Damn Ryan. He was always smiling, laughing, helping, even when things were getting tough and weren't going as planned, and that was what Bossun liked about him. He had such a positive attitude and was always surrounded by positive energy; it made helping people a lot easier and fun. It was like he was back in the Sket Dan.

God, how he missed the Sket Dan.

Bossun took out his phone again, looking at the same picture of his best friends.

'You miss her?' Ryan asked from across the fire.

He was done tending the fire and was already in his sleeping bag. Bossun was quiet for a while before he answered.

'Yeah. I miss her.'

And I love her.

He could easily admit that to himself now. It took him a while, well, more like five years to realize his own feelings for Himeko. For the past year, he was fighting off a foreign feeling growing inside of him when he'd heard from Switch that Himeko was dating a fellow teacher from the same school she was teaching at, which was Kaimei High.

He couldn't figure out what the feeling was at first, trying to discard and ignore it like it wasn't bothering him at all when the truth was it actually made him feel terrible, uncomfortable, irritable, agitated, annoyed, frustrated all at the same time.

And then on a night not unlike this one where he had time to ponder on his life, Bossun finally realized what that feeling actually was.

Jealousy.

He was jealous of the guy that Himeko had given her heart to, that she was having fun with another guy while he was not around, that she was in love with another–

'You must love her lots, then,' Ryan's sleepy voice pulled Bossun out of his train of thoughts.

Truthfully, that feeling of jealousy was still around. He didn't know how far Himeko's relationship with that teacher had gone and it was driving him crazy. He wanted to know, and yet, he was afraid to know. What if it was already too late? What should he do then?

He had deliberately avoided asking Switch about the status of Himeko's relationship with that teacher, and Switch hadn't given him any updates about it either whenever they managed to get in touch, but Bossun had been silently hoping and praying that the relationship wasn't a serious one.

The thought of Himeko marrying some guy he didn't know, being happy with him, having kids with him; it made Bossun's heart ache. He didn't want to think of things like that but he couldn't get them out of his racing mind. He couldn't help imagining them. He couldn't–

'Why is she with another guy, though?' Ryan's sleepy voice came again from across the fire.

'Huh? What do you mean?' Bossun looked at him, mildly surprised. Did Ryan read his thoughts or what?

'That guy in the picture with her. Looks like a hotshot to me.'

'Oh.'

So he meant Switch.

'That's my best friend, Switch. I've shown you pictures of him before, though he does look a bit too much like a hot stuff celebrity in this picture. Maybe that's why you didn't recognize him. I've talked about Switch to you before. He's the one who used to speak using a laptop.'

'The girl in the picture, her name's Himeko, right? The one you like?'

Bossun narrowed his eyes in his friend's direction. This was so typical of Ryan, suddenly becoming talkative when he was feeling sleepy. Ryan said it was a habit that would help him sleep better later on. But he would rarely bring up topics such as this. Why was Ryan talking about love now? Bossun had never actually concretely said to Ryan that he was in love with Himeko. But the guy seemed to catch on fast. He probably could tell just by looking.

'Why are you suddenly so interested in this?' he asked Ryan who had been speaking with his eyes closed.

'Just curious. You seem to love the girl, but you look insecure, like you're not sure she loves you back or not,' Ryan mumbled.

Bossun rolled onto his side, facing the fire, watching Ryan's face.

Certainly, that was what had been bothering Bossun this whole time. He didn't know how Himeko felt about him now. The chances were high for her to not feel the same like she did five years ago, and it would be foolish and arrogant of him to think that her heart was still pining for him after all these years.

And from what little hints Bossun had managed to gather from Switch, they suggested that she had already moved on, what with her dating a teacher and all. And deep down, Bossun knew it was probably true.

That day at the Narita airport when I was leaving Japan, you said you loved me. I wish I knew my own feelings back then.

When Himeko had said 'I love you' to him five years ago, Bossun didn't understand it the way she had wanted him to. He thought it was just Himeko being overly emotional, and that the love she was saying was just the same kind of love he had for each and every one of his dear friends, including Himeko herself.

And he had foolishly, though innocently, said he loved her too, just like how he loved Switch and his other friends. And he totally forgot about the whole thing until last year when Switch broke to him the news about Himeko dating some guy. It left him reeling.

Why was I so dense? I was supposed to be very smart and yet I failed to notice her feelings even when she had laid them outright before my eyes! Why the hell did it take me five damn years to realize that I've always loved her? How could I be so blind to her and my own damn feelings?

Bossun rubbed his tired eyes with a sigh. All this thinking and worrying and regretting had taken a toll on him. Suddenly, he felt exhausted. He felt homesick.

'Ryan,' he said, closing his eyes.

'Yeah?'

'I think I should go home soon.'

'I think you should, too.'

'Will you be alright without me?'

'What do you take me for, kid? Go home already. And go get that girl.'

'… Thanks, Ryan.'

That night under the canopy of the starry skies, Bossun fell asleep with a prayer clinging to his lips, a prayer hoping that he wasn't already too late.

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Next chapter:

Homecoming

'Welcome home, Yuusuke.'