Author's Note: I really do not know what to say. I haven't updated this story in over a year but have continued writing it at home. A lot has changed in my life that caused this to go on the back burner. One being that my daughter was diagnosed with Autism (she's a twin) and is 4 years old. That seemed to take precedence over my writing at the time and now I have to get back to it because sometimes it is the only way I can keep my sanity (I have 3 other kiddos, too). I want to apologize to those that faved this story and never got another update. I am re-posting all chapters because I have re-written and edited this story so that I hope it is better. Please give me some feedback to let me know what you like or dislike or just to tell me to keep going or to quit :) Without further ado, Chapter 1, again!

We all know that I do not own Twilight or any characters referenced in said stories. I just have always liked the chemistry between all of the folks within the original story and like to play with them a bit in different situations. Also, I am ex military and if there is something further along in th story that you don't understand or something I don't explain well, please ask! Sometimes I can't help myself with military lingo. My husband still gets a tad bit pissed about it even after being out for a few years. Enjoy!

January 2nd

Bella had never felt such a lonely existence as she did today. It was ironic really, with all of the bustling and noise that surrounded her among all of the crazy and happy travelers at Logan International. She was broken out of her thoughts when he took hold of her hand.

Edward grabbed and held onto her as tight as he could without crushing or bruising Bella. She was his lifeline and he would never let go.

This boy, this man who had turned out to be Isabella's best friend for twenty years was going to go. She knew that watching him board that airplane was going to be tough but it was the thought that he was going to meet up with two hundred other men and women eventually and that they would all be heading into what could be termed as Hell on earth was really the hardest to swallow for her.

After what felt like hours to Bella but was probably only mere minutes, Edward turned and took her by the waist tightly. She could already feel the walls that she protected herself with from everyone else but him slowly build themselves back up into place. She laid her head silently on his chest and said a prayer to whatever God would listen that this would not be the last time she would ever see Edward alive or truly whole.

It was all Edward could do not to whisk her away so that she did not have to deal with all of his bullshit. He was not naive enough to believe that he would come through this deployment unscathed, whether it be mentally or heaven forbid, a physical change for him.

The two of them had been together through all of their firsts. He was there when no one else was. Edward saw the first time that Bella realized that she was too uncoordinated to be athletic, he was there for her first period, she was there to teach him how to kiss and to treat girls with respect, her first true kiss, her first heartbreak and losing their virginity. He was there for other terrible things in Bella's life as well that he would not wish on his worst enemy. They tried to remember the good things like high school and college graduations, the things in life that no one could physically take away from you.

Their peculiar friendship did not end with these life milestones. They grew and led them to where they were this very moment. Remembering Edward's decision to join the Army, Bella reflected on how devastated she was when he said he had to leave for eight weeks the summer before their senior year. She remembered it was tremendously worse when he was gone the entire summer before they started college. She would never admit it to him, but she was always so scared that he would leave as her best friend but return wanting nothing to do with the girl from next door. So afraid of being alone and lost in her thoughts, she did not realize that Edward's stare was utterly focused in on her.

He cleared his mind and his throat, "So, this looks like as good of place as any to sit and waste the day away," he said as he started to unload his gear.

Bella snapped out of it only to realize that he had already sat down in the two seats furthest from where his flight would be boarding. For that she was thankful.

She couldn't shake that gut feeling that something was going to happen. They continued to sit in silence while she dwelled on the fact that she did not know what she would do if something terrible occurred while Edward was overseas. She couldn't stomach the thought of living a day without her best friend and quickly grabbed a hold of his hand to desperately hang onto.

Edward was sulking in his seat as well but with different thoughts racing through his head. He was scared. He was proud but he was worried for Bella more than he was for himself. He knew for a fact that he was the only one to know the "true" Isabella Swan. Edward was the only one who knew why she ran on a daily basis and it sure as hell was not for the cardiovascular benefits. That was for damn sure. He also knew why she had to study her ass off all of the time just so she could keep her full scholarship and her parents would not have to take out a third and fourth mortgage to pay for her education.

Edward unfortunately or fortunately also knew the truth to why she swore off dating a little over a year ago.

Bella shook off the morose feeling that had enveloped her and decided it was time to cheer her boy up.

"Make sure you don't drop your soap! We know how lonely you boys will get without a little something to dip your willies into," she playfully said to him as she squeezed his hand tighter.

Edward gently swatted her shoulder and sweetly replied, "Bellie, by the end of this year I may be one of those boys who enjoys a little soap dropping. Why do you think I didn't end up buying the one with a rope?"

Bella made a look of feigned shock as he continued on, "I have you know Ms. Isabella Marie Swan, that there are many women currently serving in the United States Army and while some may believe certain things about these women, please let me explain that these so called gender preferences are just not all true."

He playfully raised his eyebrows up and down while he proceeded to finish his spiel regarding the sexual orientation of female soldiers, "If you know what I mean."

Edward was wrong on so many levels and he knew it. He had always been a ladies' man and always would be no matter where he was. He lived the life of a playboy, but secretly Bella knew he didn't "play" as often as his other friends thought he did. To him it was just a stereotype that he carried around and found it easier not to drop. Those who needed to know how he was knew and the others, well it didn't really matter what they thought of him in his mind.

Bella remembered the night that Edward told her, "This is college, Bellie. I don't care what half these dumb jackasses think of me anyway. The only opinion that matters to me is yours. Now get your stinky assed feet off of me so I can go grab us a beer!"

He was such an ass when he wanted to be, Bella thought. At the time, she had worked a double shift at a little hole in the wall burger joint and they had decided to spend the night in while she nursed her so called "stinky assed feet".

She was lost again as Edward began humming his favorite song, "Touch of Grey" by the Dead. There was always a comfortable silence between the two of them that they at times could sit together and not talk for hours and be content in just the companionship. Well, that was until he usually started pelting her with spit balls or something of that nature. She decided to take the time to really study Edward's features and commit them to memory. He was gorgeous, first off and that was painfully obvious to any onlooker. He had deep, almost forest green eyes, crazy ass colored hair that bore no description other than his own. Bella could truthfully say she had never seen anyone else's head of hair except on his grandmother and a body, a body that would make Adonis hang his head in shame. She always loved the fact that Edward never took himself or his looks seriously. She could ogle him for days and he would never notice or he did and he just didn't give a damn. He was more than that, though. He was a well educated, sensitive and loving man to his family and friends.

Edward had just never found the right girl for him. Bella could not think of any other examples better than his failed relationships with Kate, Tanya and Maggie. To her it never seemed anything that he did, maybe she was little bit bias, but it was always something though. With Tanya the sex was good but she technically had more boobs than brains. Kate was better in the brains department, but the sexual chemistry was not there and Maggie completely changed and went bat shit crazy on him six months into their relationship. Edward finally had to get a restraining order out on her and her crazy ass family. He always said when it didn't feel right then it wasn't meant to be and he was too nice to lead them on just to get laid and waste their time.

As time ticked on at a more steady pace then both friends wanted, the silence, for the first time in their friendship, began to wear both of them down. Bella was fidgeting in her seat like a 3 year old child and Edward couldn't find anything to look at other than her. Throughout the silence between them and the blaring noises of the airport and its inhabitants, they held tight to one another. They grasped onto each other out of fear, out of love and out of the future. At that point neither of them could have known what their futures would hold with and without one another.

Finally after what seemed like forever and no time at all, Edward's flight was called. Bella thought if she ignored it then it wouldn't be happening, while all the while he rose slowly from his seat, straightening his uniform and grabbing his gear. When Bella finally stood and looked him in the eyes, Edward sighed and whispered, "Oh Bella, sweetie, please don't cry."

He grabbed a hold of her hand again and Bella realized she was going to have to look at the man that she loved as much or more than some of her own flesh and blood just to bid him farewell. The tears began to fall shamelessly and Edward spoke again, "Just think, it's a short year and then I'll be back to drive you flipping crazy again."

Edward smiled and gradually let Bella go to grab his duffel and ruck that he had laid back down while he held onto his lifeline. He finally turned and made his way down the long tarmac and turned back to Bella to wave with a small, sad smile on his face. He wouldn't dare let her see him upset about this because it would just make her worry more. Unfortunately, Edward knew how much of a worrier she was in even the most normal of circumstances.

His parents, Dr. Carlisle and Esme Cullen had been on a civilian mission to Africa somewhere. They had flown in a month ago and spent two weeks with Edward saying goodbye to him. Bella knew he thought it would be easier leaving today without them present but she also had known that she could not let him leave without some type of moral support by his side. That would be the reason that she was currently standing in the middle of a packed airport getting ready to bawl her eyes out instead of back at the apartment getting ready for her semester of classes to begin.

Edward continued walking the length of the airport willing himself not to turn and search out Bella amongst the growing crowd. Leaving her was a lot harder than he ever thought it would be. In his mind, Edward knew that this was the longest time he had ever been away from his best friend but he also knew in his heart that he would see her again soon. He had figured that his parents not being there at the airport with him would help him get through this impending departure tear free. He truly could not stand to see his mother cry and when she did it turned him back into a small child again who cried quite freely and not the man on that he was on his way to war that had been taught not to cry. As soon as he had seen Bella's eyes start to brim with unshed tears, Edward thought he was going to lose it right then and there. He shook himself from the too recent memory. Bella was his best friend, his rock and there she stood devastated by a decision he had made for himself several years prior.

When Edward had decided to join the Army he did it for himself. He could admit that it was a selfish decision. It really upset his mom and dad for awhile and Bella could not even face him without getting upset and running off to be on her own. The nation was at war already and Edward just needed to feel like he could and would make a difference somehow. He always had everything he wanted and needed, he was not technically spoiled but he was not far from it either. Joining the military seemed like a great idea at the time for him and becoming a medic was an even better choice because Edward had planned on following in his philanthropic father's footsteps into medicine. He had wanted to attend med school and join his dad's practice, a fact that he had known about himself for years.

After spending years on Reserve status, Edward would have bet his life on the fact that he would never be deployed anywhere. With such a short time left on his initial contract, he was almost guaranteed not to go anywhere.

Almost, he thought.

Edward had definitely been wrong on that assumption as he looked around at where he was currently standing.

His thoughts drifted back to the look on Bella's face as he had waved to her one final time. If he could take the pain away from her he would. Edward had tried to make her feel better by calling her by the nickname he had given Bella when she was 7 and he was just 10 years old but apparently that did not take away the pain that he saw in her eyes as he had walked away from her and waved one last time before boarding the God forsaken plane.

Thanks again for reading and please let me know what you think.

Jen