Type 2 error is fixed. At last, thank goodness.
So, I'm not sure if a lot of you have heard of this song but it's a song from Panic! At The Disco's second album Pretty. Odd. This is my first song fic in this fandom and it's not something I'm normally interested in unless it's done really well. This song however just spoke to me and I saw so much of Draco and Harry in it that I couldn't just ignore it. Although that doesn't say much, I see Draco and Harry in everything. As far as I am aware this hasn't been done before, or at least in my way anyway.
I guess it's only loosely based off of it but it's where the inspiration came from. I actually quite like it. I wrote it in almost one go so it flows better than I find a lot of my staggered one shots often do.
I hope I've done it justice. Enjoy.
Oh and I'm up for pretty much any request in this fandom for a one shot. I'm open to anything except MPreg. It's the only thing that makes me squirm. Don't be afraid to ask. And remember the poll on my profile for next story idea. It's still fifty/fifty.
When the day met the night.
Harry's mouth felt achy and sore from all the forced smiles that he had to fake at all the people that wanted to talk to him about the past. His teeth felt dry and his lips were chapped as he brushed his tongue over them. However, no one else seemed very aware of how uncomfortable he was or how much he didn't want to be there, and continued to approach him to talk about things he had been repeating over and over for five years since the end of the war, to ask him for things that they would never have dreamed of asking if he wasn't Harry Potter.
He leisurely sipped his champagne as Tess Banks, an employee of the Department of Magical Transportation, talked to him about brooms and their importance during the war, all of which he either already knew and had experienced first hand or had no interest in any longer. He nodded politely and continued to smile in all the right places, maintaining eye contact even though he wasn't absorbing a word she was saying.
Every now and then however his eyes wandered around the room trying to look for someone he could stop all the false pretences with, someone like Ron or Hermione. They were both around the party somewhere but Harry could not find them in the throngs of people, mingling, chatting and socialising.
It had been just over five years since the last day of the war and the ministry decided to throw a party/anniversary celebration for all of it's employee's; including, of course, Head Auror Potter. Of course he was considered the guest of honour but he really wished he wasn't. He was growing to despise these things after so many of them take place each year that are always the same.
There were some people that seemed to respect how tiresome this had become and kept their distance. It was either that or they were too intimidated by him; he had long ago stopped wishing for everyone to be like this. Unfortunately for him there were always some whom were bolder than others.
Harry's eyes sharpened as they searched the room for one particular person that wasn't Ron or Hermione, one particular person that he always searched for at these events. When he didn't find who they were looking for he glanced back at Tess and realised she had stopped talking and was looking at him expectantly. He straightened his face into a blank expression and tried to think about the conversation they had been having, or rather that she had been having.
"So, what do you think?" She asked as Harry scrambled at his memories of what she had been saying, coming up blank. How could he have switched off completely? He scratched at the back of his head, a nervous habit if anyone had ever seen one, and desperately tried to decide which direction to go in.
"Erm...Yeah, I think that would be a great -er- idea," he said trying desperately to not make his answer sound like a question and praying, to the point where he was almost dropping to his knees, that it was the right response.
"That's great Harry, thank you so much," Tess gushed with a bright smile and Harry was close to sighing in relief. "I'll see you in two weeks then. Thanks a lot Harry, really, it means so much," she wasn't long in glancing over Harry's shoulder, her eyes brightening as she spied someone she knew and waved at them. "Excuse me," she politely dismissed herself from Harry and left before he could work out or even ask what he had just agreed to.
He sighed, drained the last of his champagne and took the opportunity to escape. He sidled around the room, trying to go unnoticed and thanks to Kingsley tapping the side of his glass with a spoon to draw everyone's attention, he was able to. Harry knew he could probably be in trouble later when they realised he missed out on the speeches, especially considering he was always forced into stumbling his way through one.
He dumped his empty glass of champagne on a small spindly table and slipped out of the patio doors and onto the patio slabs, his skin immediately becoming bathed in bright evening sun, heat washing over him like a warm flood, almost a blessing from the cooling charms that had been set on the room now behind him. He swiftly made his way through the close humid air down the small hill and onto the grounds before anyone could see and drag him back, or worse; follow him.
The grounds of the castle that the Ministry had held the event in was nothing short of beautiful. It was a wide expanse of bright green grass and was surrounded by forests full of all different kinds of trees that were all different colours and shapes and sizes. The bright greens, blues, yellows, oranges and pinks were made even more obvious and poignant with the shining sun that was slowly making it's way through the sky, it being six o'clock in the evening and all.
Harry sighed in relief at being away from all the staring eyes and found some shade under an enchanted umbrella tree that smelled fresh and earthy and moved it's branches to shade Harry according to where he stood. He glanced around at all the different trees at the edge of the forest shielding his eyes from the lowering sun. He frowned when he noticed a smartly dressed figure under a second larger umbrella tree just a short distance away. He squinted and moved a few steps closer and realised just who it was under that tree, all thanks to the sun gleaming off of the pale blonde hair upon their head.
To say that Harry was surprised would both be a lie and an understatement. He knew Draco Malfoy worked in the deep undergrounds of the Ministry, doing something with potions. He also knew that he had always been invited to the Ministry events, Harry knew because he normally got to have a look at the guest list before hand. He was always invited, but Harry had yet to see him ever turn up, until now that is.
Harry glanced around to check if there was anyone else around and upon finding that there wasn't he wondered what he should do next, now that he had found the person he always looked for when attending these events. He had barely seen him since the end of the war but had always been curious about how he was and if he was well. He didn't know why he still held such an interest in the man, all he knew was that it could no longer be put down to habit from their years at Hogwarts. Five years was enough to break that habit.
Harry considered walking over and striking up a conversation with him. It would be an easy task to start, it was just maintaining it without finding himself on unfamiliar or unpredictable ground, that would the problem. He was curious and always had been from the very beginning about Malfoy and he wondered idly, as he made his way out from under the shade of his tree, if he would ever shake off his curiosity when it came to him.
Malfoy was sat under his own umbrella tree, the sun peaking in through the branches to make his hair gleam and shine while his head hung low, between his knees almost. Harry's concern for the other man that had blossomed at the first sight of him, increased as he grew closer and realised that he was mumbling away to himself, too quiet for Harry to make out, but loud enough to block out the sounds of Harry's approach.
Harry cleared his throat loudly to politely draw Malfoy's attention, an attempt that worked perfectly as Malfoy's head shot up from his knees and his lips pursed together, his mumbling stopped in an instant. He blinked at Harry, the sun shining directly into his eyes and he wondered briefly if he could even see him.
"Hi," Harry started softly, gently as he allowed his eyes to roam over Malfoy's face bathed in sunlight, his pale skin looking like liquid gold and his eyes closed off from the world, from Harry.
Malfoy's features seemed to relax significantly and surprisingly when his eyes met with Harry's, probably more relieved at the fact that he recognised him, rather than because it was Harry. It was just the very start of the conversation and it had the potential to go in all different directions. The thought was making Harry anxious and uncertain.
"Potter," Malfoy nodded and then peered around Harry's legs to check to see if there was anyone else around them. "Where is your entourage of adoring fans? I thought you never went anywhere without them,"
"Believe it or not, I do," Harry said softly. He gestured a hand to the spot beside Malfoy with a questioning eyebrow. Malfoy seemed to consider his options for a moment before replying with a short nod and glanced away while Harry turned in preparation to sit. Harry tucked his robes underneath himself and settled on the grass, tucking his legs into a comfortable position as he leant back against the same tree Malfoy was stiffly leant upon.
"Why are you out here?" Malfoy asked without looking at him, peering at a loose thread on the sleeve of his elegant dark green robes.
"I needed away from everyone in there," Harry said, inclining his head in the direction of the patio doors he had just escaped from. "I saw you sitting here and thought I would come over. Are you okay?"
Malfoy paused in plucking at the thread and shuffled his legs into a different position. "I'm just surprised to find you at one of these at all. I heard you hated them," Malfoy said, gracefully dodging Harry's concern in a way that he almost made Harry forget he had asked. Almost. Harry decided to leave it for now, but promising himself he would go back to it later.
"I do. That doesn't mean I don't get forced into going to every one of them. I don't get much of a say in the matter anymore," Harry said. His tones were soft and gentle as he knew that Malfoy was not having such a good time right now. He knew something was going on in his head and he knew he'd have to be careful with his words to be able to find out exactly what it was. "The Ministry events aren't that bad. It's the ones organised by the public that are the worst,"
"I hate them all," Malfoy spat, his voice a harsh contrast to Harry's, not needing to be careful with the way he said things. Harry could see the fierce dislike for the events evident in the lines of Malfoy's face and the purse in his lips along with the fire in his eyes, the most alive Harry had seen them since he joined him.
"You don't usually come," Harry said. He was treading carefully, more carefully than he ever had in any conversation he had taken part in before. He knew Malfoy needed this, needed to talk to someone, especially if the mumbling earlier was anything to go by. He also knew, however that Malfoy could turn on him in a matter of seconds and everything would fall apart and the dislike could be turned on to him.
"I do. I just end up outside or in a different room at every one of them, before I can properly enter," Malfoy said and it seemed like he had started to turn on himself. His lip was curled and his pupils were narrowed as he looked ahead of him, focusing on one point that Harry couldn't see the interest in.
"But...why? Why don't you make an entrance?" Harry asked. He was tempted to reach out and touch him in the hopes of soothing him, to bring him out of his own head. He refrained from fear of over stepping the mark instead.
Malfoy turned his head and looked at Harry, directly into his eyes, almost in to his soul, Harry felt and his features softened once again. Harry's gaze didn't dare waver, knowing rather than sensing that Malfoy needed this. He needed Harry's attention and concern, all of it and Harry was happy to give it to him.
"Because Potter, as you already know, I'm a coward. That's why. I'm a pathetic coward that hides outside under shrubbery and vegetation and in dusty drawing rooms pacing the floor instead of showing my face at a public event," Malfoy said. His voice was stronger than his eyes that looked as if they would crack and over flow in a matter of seconds. Harry wanted nothing more than to hold him together, to keep him from falling apart any further.
"I don't think- I know that you are not a coward Malfoy," Harry said maintaining eye contact even when Draco tried to glance at something past his ear, purposefully moving his head to block him from doing so. He needed Malfoy to believe him, to listen and believe what Harry was talking about. He didn't know how just him saying it would change his opinion but he was willing to give it a shot.
"What do you care if I am a coward or not huh? What do you care?" Malfoy asked and his voice quivered and told Harry exactly all he wanted to know. Malfoy wanted him to care, wanted him to care a lot. Harry knew how he worked and he was thankful that he did and could react in the most appropriate ways.
At the same time however, he was asking himself the same question as he was still a little unsure. Why did he care? He didn't know Malfoy, not properly any more, not ever if he was honest with himself. He still didn't know why he had even come over in the first place other than the fact that he was curious. It only took a couple of seconds before he found that he didn't need an answer. He was done trying to justify everything that he did to himself or anyone else.
"You are many things Malfoy, but a coward is not one of them. If you were a coward you wouldn't even be here. You wouldn't even leave your house. Malfoy I don't think you truly realise how brave you actually are, and always have been," Harry said.
Malfoy rose on to his knees and turned to face Harry full on. His eyes were small portals into his feelings and Harry could see all the emotions swimming around in them as he studied Harry's face. Harry tried to look as sincere as possible wanting nothing more right then but for Malfoy to just believe him.
"Why. Do. You. Care?" he asked again, slower as if Harry hadn't understood him the first time. Harry sighed softly, trying his hardest not to start to get frustrated with him. He wanted a proper answer to his question and it was the only one Harry didn't have.
"I- because I-" he sighed in frustration with himself and glanced down. He made a decision with himself in a split second and leant up on his knees to face Malfoy.
"Because, Malfoy. You matter. And- and I want to help you," Harry said. Malfoy's head reverberated back as if he had just been hit, clearly not expecting or wanting that response and Harry scrambled to justify himself, something he just told himself he didn't need to do, but what did it matter anyway? "I know you think you're hiding it but I can see you falling apart from the inside out. I've barely seen you until today but I can already tell that much and I want to help you Draco."
Draco sat and blinked at Harry, his eyes swimming and on the verge of cracking again at any minute. Harry got the same impulse to hold him together again, physically hold him until he could heal in his arms.
"Watch it Potter. Your hero complex is showing," Draco said. His voice wasn't vindictive or snarky like it should be but whispered and Harry knew it was because he was afraid. Afraid of letting someone in, of letting Harry in.
"Draco," Harry sighed and Draco dipped his head.
"Don't feel as if you have to, just because-"
"Draco," Harry interrupted and Draco nodded once, giving in or giving up Harry didn't know. "We don't need to do this now, just let me help. Talk to me. And not just about useless work shit but about what's going on in your head. Promise me that we'll do that this summer, just talk about everything you need to, no avoiding me or using excuses. Yeah?"
"Yeah," Draco mumbled and he glanced back up at Harry, still falling apart, still barely hanging on but willing to start gripping onto reality a little harder.
"Draco, are you okay?" Harry asked gently and he noticed that half of Draco's face was in the shade now that the sun was starting to sink behind the canopy of trees.
Draco sighed and looked out and away from Harry into the canopy of trees and his eyes finally cracked and tear tracks streaked his cheeks. Harry's hand hovered over Draco's shoulder and then withdrew again, knowing better. "No." Draco said gently.
Harry nodded and smiled sadly before fixing on the point ahead that Draco was focused on, watching as the sun sank lower. He knew he'd be in for a rough time and that Draco would change his mind more times than he changed his clothes but he wasn't going to give up on him. He couldn't. Ever.