I have been meaning to and wanted to write another OTH fic for a while now, but uni work and other stuff has been getting in the way

...so i decided to wait until the week before all my work is due to start writing again! I literally put my itunes on shuffle and the first song was this and I decided it went perfectly with the "I hate you" scene in 5x17

so kind of a prequel to my other OTH ficlet... again it's Lucas' head, I may do another chapter with Peyton, but for now it's this.

I own neither characters or songs

song: I Don't Love You – My Chemical Romance

I knew she took me home, I had no idea how I did. I was so wasted I couldn't remember how I got to Tric in the first place but, somehow I knew. I wasn't sure how I felt about it either.

In my strange mental state I couldn't help but think of the irony. Weeks after talking to the Peyton Sawyer, I had helped her home. To her bed; which was where I was now.

I had carried this torch for her for so long, and now it seemed we had swapped places, I felt the quilt being pulled over me. It was like de ja vu, but in reverse. That was the night it had all changed, I used to think it was the river court. But that was the night I had first spoken to Brooke, the real Brooke. It had changed.

I felt her brush my hair. Hazy words, there was a wistful sadness in them. Light pressure on my temple. I turned, to said what she didn't have the guts to say to me in L.A. two years ago. "Peyton."

'I don't love you. I can't love you. Not in the same way.' I still did, I probably always would. But it was different, evolved into something so much more complicated than dizzy teen love.

But instead I heard "I hate you." The room stopped spinning in time for me to see her face. Her beautifully heartbroken face. I felt the mirror effect again, only this time I was in a hotel room in L.A. "What?" It came out as a whisper.

She had managed to find her way into my heart again and it had destroyed me. Only in my drunken haze, the words came out slurred, mutated. "I wish you never came back. You ruined my life." For a writer I seemed to have a way with words tonight.

As the tears welled up in her large eyes I couldn't fight subconsciousness . I surrendered to the numbness that overtook me, the alcohol finally taking the desired effect.

cheers for reading... review please! x