Hey, I'm back. Tired as hell, but I'm back. Uh, what am I forgetting? Oh yeah!

I don't own Transformers, only some characters in this.

Also: I received an anonymous review from someone calling themselves 'Dandyparakeet.' I am not adverse to anonymous reviews. Sometimes I review anonymously, myself. However, Dandyparakeet asked a question and I would like to answer her/him. Anyone who reviews knows that I (usually) send a reply back, even if it only says 'thank you for your review :)'. I don't mind questions, and especially if there's a question I will answer it, but if you anonymously ask me a question without giving me contact information for me to answer you, it makes it harder for you to know the answer. I know that I myself am painfully curious, so if I mustered up the guts to review and ask, I would want my question answered. So if anyone has a question but no account, could you please give me an e-mail address or something so I can answer it?

Ah, well. Anyway, he/she said: 'Wait... so, she was alive that entire time? Because in the beginning of the story, Russ had been dead for an entire month. And the ending doens't make sense either because throughout the story, Prowl and co are still alive, and at the end they die in the attack, even though the battle where Sophie died is mentioned before they die... I'm feeling very confused'. The answer to that may be a little confusing, and may also accidentally give away some things:

The entire story is like a flashback. Windtreader/Russ lives her life up until she meets Narzenim. Then she dies. Then Narzenim wants to know the things she had never had the courage to ask, and in the process finds her "diary." So Narzenim sets about working on a sort of autobiography-slash-biography of Russ. The story is told more from her point of view, but it is the story of Russ's origins. There are two different timelines in this story: the "present" day (Narzenim's time where Russ is dead), and the "past" (before Narzenim's time where Russ is alive and young). Each timeline as they change is marked with Present Day or the year and place. (Present Day is set at around 2032)

In regards to the ending, I'm sorry that it may have been confusing. In Narzenim's time, Prowl is alive, but during the story, he is alive as well. I can see how that can prove confusing. Prowl dies in the Battle of Autobot City, as the story says, but like Optimus, is brought back, which would explain his presence in Narzenim's time and his knowledge of Russ, Jazz, and many of the other Autobots mentioned. Whenever Prowl and Narzenim are mentioned in the same "bubble," it refers to the "future" Prowl rather than the "past" Prowl. The same has happened with Slash, Windcharger, Ratchet, Wheeljack, and Skywarp (I believe I mentioned him in passing).

The journals that Narzenim was given cut off after Russet had been captured, so she had to move on to the next part, which happened to be the battle of Autobot City. However, Narzenim noticed that the girl that Russ had saved had made another appearance so she researched her. Lisa Sophie Hahns proved to be an interesting subject for her so she elaborated because everyone had been so caught up in the mess of things in the Battle that they didn't notice her presence so much.

Okay, I think that's it. We good? Did I answer your question, or does it require further elaboration?

Another note: Sorry this chapter is mostly about Narzenim. Again.

Present Day:

My fur fluffed out in irritation. The Xarmix ship Sundabanyala was coming, bearing my infuriating granddam and family come to pay their respects and offer their condolences for Mother's death. A growl rose in my throat and Fegali gave me a wry grin. Despite his attempt at levity, it was tainted by the tension of the moment as well as Prowl's stiff posture behind us.

The ship finished docking and the crew was beginning to disembark when I forced my face into one of bland emptiness, something expected of someone of my rank in the eyes of the people. I had specially crafted a shipsuit to look similar to the Xarmix colors and attire of mourning while still allowing it to keep some semblance of practicality. As the doors opened, Fegali reached out with a gentle hand and straightened the fit of it over my shoulders, dropping his hands quickly as the small delegation strode through the doors.

Leading them was my Granddam, likely the most infuriating person I had ever met in all my 35 years of existence. She leaned heavily on her ceremonial walking stick, her heavy bangles clinking and chiming as they struck each other. She was my mother's mother, the very mother that my own dam had left the planet to escape. Amber eyes clouded with age and lined in speckled black and fleshy pink skin narrowed upon seeing me and the beads woven into her hair clicked as she inclined her head in an almost bow. –Great Seer, we have come to offer our condolences for your loss.– Her idvixal, an ugly creature that looked like a cross between a starving monkey and a rabid cow bowed her head slightly, amber and red eyes betraying her dislike.

I said nothing. My mother's sister stepped forward and said something similar though she did nothing to hide the open jealousy and contempt from her amber eyes. It was her daughter, my cousin Karitanxitha that was predicted to have either the genetics of the Earth-leopard-like spots (which are considered to be exceedingly beautiful on Xarmix), or the genetics of the Seer. It had been by some quirk of fate that I had been gifted with both and Karithanxitha given the fur considered ugly: a calico coat.

My aunt stepped back again and her mate stepped forward. It went on and on for a while as all five of the delegation (my granddam Kurixalla, my aunt Kvilstemnex, her mate M'villa, my jealous and "ugly" cousin Karithanxitha, and my cousin's mate N'llemielle) expressed their condolences for my loss. Their staff stood behind them, foci trained on the floor as their idvixal bowed properly to Fegali and I.

It was an uncomfortable affair for all of us: for Jazz and Prowl it was a very Decepticon thing to have someone bowing and prostrating themselves; for Coby, Lori, and Professor Suzuki it was awkward because they had no understanding of what they were saying as well as seeing me in acting in such a different way; it was uncomfortable for my "family," bowing before a scrap of a girl who refused their care and "proper" nurturing in lieu of living with "brutish mechanical monsters;" and for me and Fegali, being the center of all the attention.

The servants of the delegation stepped forward, led by my own servant K'xarnxil beside his idvixal Seranxil. He smiled in the human fashion, the dark grey skin of his lips twisting upward. –My lady, I have come to fulfill the pact I had made. – he said, tilting his palms toward me to show the mark I had made there at our last meeting. Seranxil bowed her front legs, inclining her upper torso and spreading her wings in an awkward bow.

–I'm glad you came,- I told him privately. –I wouldn't have been able to stand it if they came without you.–

Seranxil folded her second and third pairs of wings and fluttered them. It was their hidden code of amusement. More formally, I said –I thank you for your concern.-

Prowl rumbled behind us, a gentle noise that to Cybertronians, was like clearing a throat. I transferred his thoughts as he "spoke." -We would like to welcome you aboard the Jossine. If it is what you wish, we could provide you with rooms for the entirety of your stay.-

Secretly, we were all hoping they'd decline as they had the last time. But my granddam clicked the edge of her walking stick against the tile of the flooring. –Our thanks. We believe that it is best that we are close to Karinxka during her time of mourning to help her through this tragedy.-

To his credit, Prowl hid his surprise and sent the transmissions out to clear out rooms for our "guests." -I will ensure that it will be done soon.- inclining his head politely he took his leave to make sure everything is cleared out.

-Karinxka.- I turned slightly at the sound of my Xarmix name, the one my mother had given me. Karithanxitha had called me, and her almost gentle thought surprised me. It was true that I had never spoken to my cousin for an extended period, but it was surprising to me that she didn't sound as jealous as she had always felt around me. –We offer these servants as a condolence gift, including K'xarnxil.- she said his name like the female humans aboard would talk about a squashed bug. Inferior. Disgusting.

I could feel the heat of Jazz's anger behind me and the cold wave of incredulity shattering the air around the humans. I hid their reactions quickly behind the "barrier" I had raised behind me though inwardly I was as incredulous and angry as my adopted family was.

Fegali shifted slightly, but not enough for them to get a definite read on what I was thinking or feeling. 'I can't leave them here, 'Gali.' I told him. 'It'd mean years of servitude under those…those hags.'

'We are a refugee ship, Narzenim.' He reminded me. 'I'm sure they can learn quickly and if they don't want to stay aboard the ship, we can always find them a home along the way.'

Feeling relieved, I inclined my head politely toward my calico cousin. –I thank you for your kind thoughts and your kind gift.-

K'xarnxil glanced at me with one foci, obviously wondering what I was planning. He and Seranxil knew that I didn't take kindly to bonded servitude. Granddam Kurixalla flicked an ear in satisfaction, no doubt thinking that by accepting their "gift," I was more acceptable of Xarmix culture. I was relieved in the fact that I knew the true reason I accepted those servants as a gift. In doing so, I was continuing in my adopted Mother's steps.

It took a while to get them settled. Granddam couldn't be alone due to her old age (old age my ass!) so it took some juggling of rooms. They settled at last with Granddam Kurixalla, aunt Kvistemnex, and my cousin Karithanxitha in one room, and their mates N'llemielle and M'villa in another room. My new servants were to accompany me.

Prowl, to say the least, wasn't entirely happy of me adopting them (at least without consulting him first) but found a room near mine for them. I stopped by my room after ordering them to stay in their shared room for a moment. I needed to gather my thoughts.

Displays of inordinate affection toward me were frowned upon outside the boundaries of my room (mostly in regards to the Xarmix delegates down the hall) but inside the sanctuary of my room Fegali could wrap his arms around me and hold me the way he wanted to. I had always felt safe in the arms of two people: his and Mother's. Because Mother had been taken cruelly from me, I had only Fegali left.

The manuscript of Mother's story blinked at my from my computer as I tucked myself against Fegali's warm chest. "Did I do the right thing, 'Gali?" I asked.

"I believe you did. By accepting them as a gift, you are taking a step toward their freedom."

"But as long as the Xarmix stay, they must be servants."

"That has not stopped your friendship with K'xarnxil." Fegali replied mildly. "If you explain it to them well enough, and to K'xarnxil and Seranxil, they will understand and hold that façade until the Xarmix leave."

I sighed and pressed my face against the windshield on his chest. I opened my eyes and one of my foci drifted toward the computer screen. In it was the beginning of a new chapter of Mother's life, a life I had not known about until recently when I had gone digging in her room.

Was this a new chapter of my life? Or am I being so nostalgic that I'm trying to hang on to every little grasp I have of her, to hold on to her memory so that I don't forget? Fegali hugged me tighter to his chest, as ever careful of his almost limitless strength.

"Let's go talk to them," I said at last, pushing lightly against his hold. He released me instantly and placed me carefully on the ground before standing and following me out. Casting one last glance at the computer screen, I walked down the halls toward the quarters of my new servants.

They were all male, but that was to be expected: in Xarmix society, females were the dominant ones. Most were K'xarnxil's height or around it, ranging in color from pitch black to calico to brown and orange. Seeing me enter with Fegali, the four new servants unfamiliar with me bowed low, their idvixals mirroring the motion. K'xarnxil and Seranxil smiled at me, my friend's eyes gleeful, Seranxil's eyes calculating and calm.

I glanced at the four servants and they followed my gaze. We had a long way to go with them.

-Your granddam tried to bargain with them,- K'xarnxil told me. –If they gave her information on you and your family, something that would allow them to pull rank and law, they would receive their freedom.-

It was an open thought and I glanced at the servants. They looked abashed and I had to smile. –Tell me honestly, please: who would be willing to do that?-

The calico male looked up. Strangely, he seemed to be the one in charge. His grey eyes met mine squarely, a solemn air in them. –Forgive me, my lady. We are willing to do no such thing. I myself am related indirectly to you, and each of my fellows here hold a vague relation to you.-

The orange tabby male nodded. –And forgive me for being so brazen, my lady, but we don't like her.-

I nodded. –Well, that certainly makes things easier for me. This is my idvixal, Fegali. He serves as the counterintelligence officer aboard this ship. I myself serve as the intelligence officer.- I noticed that the servants' idvixals looked at Fegali in awe. I stored that information away for later. –We, however, do not believe in servitude. We each pull our own weight. As long as the Xarmix delegates are on the ship, I'm afraid that you must act as servants. When they leave, you are free to be yourself. From this moment on, you are free people.-

The four males traded surprised glances, their idvixals showing similar expressions of shock on their faces. –Free, my lady?- the black male asked. This ice-blue eyes were wide in shock.

I smiled in the human and Xarmix way. –Free.- I repeated firmly. –Just…for the duration of their stay, you have to act as servants. Other than that, though, you're free to stay aboard the ship. If you want to, you can even learn a trade.-

Their fur rippled in surprise and shock. Even their idvixals appeared surprised. K'xarnxil smiled at me and I found myself smiling back. A knot that I didn't know existed in my chest fell apart. I found myself thinking after that, as I watched the former servants process my news.

Was this how Mother felt when she saved me and 'Gali? I like to think so. I would never know, now. I can never ask her.

K'xarnxil came over and hugged me gently. Seranxil fluttered her wings and shifted as if unsure of what to do. It was taboo and unnatural for an idvixal to touch another person that was not an idvixal or their own partner. Fegali stroked the short bit of mane that extended partially down my spine, trying to soothe my tortured thoughts.

-My lady,- the calico male thought, interrupting my own ruminations. I turned to look at him. –I am called K'sarisk. My idvixal is Mnemon. I owe you a debt greater than my own life and that of my idvixal for giving us our freedom.- he bowed low to me and I stepped forward quickly, pulling him up sharply.

-You are free, K'sarisk, and you Mnemon.- I told them firmly, addressing his idvixal directly. Mnemon, a creature like a winged wolf with a horse's neck looked mightily surprised that I did. –You owe me nothing. If your honor prevents you from doing so, pass forward this legacy. Do what you feel is right and just.-

The other Xarmixkealans in the room stared at me in surprise. I lifted the edge of my tunic and showed them the scarred mark in my flesh on my back. –My adopted Mother saved me from this. She did what I am doing for you: giving you a chance when no one else would. She's dead now.- I nearly cried saying it out loud, but it needed to be said. –I'm following in her footsteps by doing this. By doing what she taught me.-

The fur along my back twitched as one of them touched the mark. I looked over my shoulder and found that it was K'sarisk. The others looked unnerved. –What does it say?- he asked, stepping back.

I released my hold on my tunic's hem and let it fall over the mark once more. –What any other binding mark says: that I am the property of the name engraved in my flesh.-

The black flattened his ears, bright blue eyes fiery with indignation. –What happened to your master?-

-He is my master no longer. My adopted Mother killed him.-

This had them shifting, flicking their ears. I could tell that they were satisfied, even grateful of what Mother had done. The brown tabby tilted his head to the side. Though it was obvious the calico was in charge, it seemed as if he was the oldest and wisest of the group for all he looked as young as K'xarnxil and I were. His idvixal, a strange beast that looked like a neck-less dog covered with eyes of all sizes, two double-elbowed arms, no visible mouth or nose, and a tail tipped in a bunch of serpent-like tentacles terminating in small eyes, sat down and blinked its two largest eyes at me while the eyes on his tail flashed around curiously. –My name is M'kil. My idvixal is Roghvander.- he said at last. –I knew your mother, but only for a short time. She did what your adopted mother did for you and freed me from a cruel master.- I realized then why he had an idvixal covered in eyes: he was blind, his foci were lost in the milky white depths of his eyes.

The black nodded, flicking an ear toward M'kil respectfully. His blue eyes were fierce. Of all of them he was the largest, with broad shoulders and powerful arms. –I have no doubt in my mind that they will try something against you.-

The tabby glanced at his fellow. –I agree,- he murmured. While not as large as the blue-eyed black male, he was massive as well and towered over me, K'xarnxil, M'kil, and their idvixals. They were nearly as tall as Fegali. –You should have one of us with you at all times.-

I glanced between them in the human way, turning my head back and forth. The black male glanced at the orange tabby. He stepped forward. –I am D'vinkin. I have no idvixal.-

Indeed, beside D'vinkin's side there was no alien creature he had bound his soul and mind to. I wondered how old he was. He must have been younger than me to have not gone through the agonizing pain yet… I knew exactly what sort of creature would suit D'vinkin.

He continued, watching me carefully with his bright blue eyes. Autobot-blue. –I will remain with you as a bodyguard, if your idvixal permits.-

I felt Fegali shift behind me. 'I admit that I feel strange allowing him so close to you.' He admitted at last. 'But we have vastly different duties and I cannot be with you all the time. It would be good to have him near to protect you from Xarmix threats while I protect you from Decepticon threats.'

D'vinkin looked surprised that I translated exactly what Fegali said to him, as if I had already broken a major faux pas. I probably did, but that was how things were done on the Jossine. At last he gave a slight inclination of his head, a half bow, and thanked Fegali. –Very well,­- he said.

Fegali was looking at the other Xarmix males. 'We need to find them jobs.' He told me. 'Menial ones for now, but trades later.'

'That is for later,' I told him gently. 'There are always menial tasks to be done around the ship. I'm sure Amina would appreciate a nice cleaning.'

'Indeed,' he replied.

So I put them to work after learning the orange tabby's name (it was T'favril, and his idvixal was Umnekka). M'kil was good at cleaning, able to find the delicate cracks in which dust and grit could be housed in anything I pointed him and his idvixal to. T'favril was good at lifting heavy loads, and K'sarisk had a good memory, and could move anything back to the places where they were supposed to be in. I turned them loose in an old storeroom that hadn't been cleaned for a long while. K'xarnxil, being able to speak English (to a certain extent) and also read (also to an extent) volunteered himself and Seranxil to be my temporary assistant.

That done, I walked with Fegali and D'vinkin toward the cafeteria. –We'll need to stop near the planet Librekhar.- I told them both. Fegali glanced at me, a slight smirk across his face. As I entered the rec. room, I called it in with Amina.

When I returned to my quarters with D'vinkin (Fegali was out working with Coby on something), I found manuscript blinking at me from my computer. D'vinkin noticed this and glanced at the screen. –What is that?- he asked curiously.

So I told him. I told him how Mother died and how I planned on remembering her. He was silent for a long while, peering with one foci at me and the other at the screen. He blinked.

In Xarmix culture, death was an easy thing to get over. You live, you die, that's it. End of story. It may because of my unusual upbringing that gave me such a difficult time in getting over death. The death of a crewmate was painful for me, even more so if I knew them very well, as I had known Mother. It took D'vinkin a few moments to get used to the idea that I was still hurting from Mother's death, even now, nearly three months after the fact.

-That is very noble,- he said at last. –I have a feeling that it will take a little while for me to get used to your alien quirks.- he added gently, a Xarmix smile tilting his eyes upward slightly.

I smiled back at him in both the Xarmix and human way and sat down. I had a lot of work ahead of me. Behind me, I could hear D'vinkin settling down behind me to watch.

I opened the next data cube and plugged it into the computer.