Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Limp Bizkit or the song Behind Blue Eyes. I am aware that the Who made the original version of Behind Blue Eyes but I've never heard it so I base this song-fic of the version Limp Bizkit sings.
Pairing: None but wannabe Draco/Harry

Author: Catium
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1048
Genre: Angst
Status: Complete
Warnings: Language, mention of death and fluffy feelings...oh and slash don't like don't read. Consider yourself warned.
Summary: No one knows who Draco Malfoy really is behind blue eyes.
Note: Thanks to everyone that read and please review. I am looking for someone to be my beta. If you are interested please send me a message. I would really like for my next story to be read over by someone else besides myself.

Behind Blue Eyes

Almost a year has passed since the war ended. Me and my father were arrested after the Final Battle and went through trial. It went better than I had hoped for. Father managed to make them believe we had not served Our Lord willingly and would have been killed if we had not done His bidding. That was true... in my case... but not his. Father always served Him willingly.

Father got 9 months in Azkaban and had to pay a fine. I didn't have to go to Azkaban, only had to pay a fine. A considerable amount, mind you, but nothing we cannot handle. We are Malfoy's after all. We have gotten our punishment, a petty one, but a punishment never the less. It doesn't change the fact that we are still bad persons and the Magical society judges us like that. Judges me.

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

But no one of them knows what it's like...why I chose to be the bad man, it might not have been the right choice but it sure as hell wasn't the easy choice to serve Him. If I leave the Malfoy Manor and go to Diagon Alley or other magical places within Brittain, people avoid me. They dodge me on the streets and pretend I am not there. That makes me sad. They can't see that sadness... I hide that sadness... behind blue eyes.


And no one knows
What it's like to be hated
To be fated to telling only lies

No one of them knows how it is to be hated like me. If people don't avoid me, then they taunt me. Hiss mean names at me and even spit at me. I act like it doesn't concern me when they do. I know this is the fate I chose for me when I joined Him. I knew I would be hated, but back then there were only two fates for me, joining him or dying. To be hated seemed at the time a better fate. Now I am not so sure. If someone would ask me how it feels to be hated I would lie. I am good at telling lies... one of the few things I am good at and it seems to be the only thing I do these days... telling lies.


But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

Every once in while I see him... both for real and in my dreams. My dreams aren't as empty as people seem to think my conscience is. My conscience isn't empty. I feel guilty for what I did in the War. My dreams aren't empty either... I dream about him. I am lonely for hours every day, even when I am around my mother or few friends that managed to escape Azkaban, because I can't have him. I love him...but that love is like the vengeance I can't have....never free.

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do, and I blame you!

No one knows what it is like to have these feelings. These feelings of love that I have for him... that I know he will never have for me, because he loves her. He hates me. Why shouldn't he hate me? We were nemesis for years and I am the bad man remember? It is his fault that I love him. Why does he have to be so...good and adorable? He could just be a total bastard and then I wouldn't love him. Do you hear me Harry...? I blame you!


No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

It makes me so angry sometimes...these feeling for Harry make my angry. And when I see him for real, I lash out on him. I bite him back...but not with love...with hate. I taunt him like everyone else taunt me...I bite back as hard as I can and I use my anger for it. But I can't let him show that I am angry at him because I love him, or in pain because I love him or let him see my woe. I wouldn't woe like this if I didn't love him. None of those feelings can show through. Only hate.

Discover l.i.m.p. say it
No one knows what it's like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes

No one knows what it is like to be mistreated like I am. For some people it isn't enough to hiss or spit at me. These people mistreat me. I get beaten up, badly. But that really doesn't concern me much. They don't know I am already mistreated in other ways... defeated. Mother and father have found me a wife. Now I have to marry someone I don't love...a woman... I don't even like women. So you see that I am already defeated. I am going to pretend to love someone when I don't but I will hide me true emotions...my defeat behind blue eyes.


No one knows how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies

When people realise I didn't want to be the bad man they won't tell me they are sorry. No one knows how to say they're sorry. I don't know how to say I am sorry. I want to...I want to walk up to Harry and tell him I am sorry...tell him I love him and that he shouldn't worry... that this time I am not telling lies

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man, to be the sad man
Behind blue eyes.

But no one will ever know that I am not the bad man. As long as my father lives I will have to keep on being the bad man... otherwise father will kill me. No one knows what it is like for me to be the bad man. No one knows what it is like for me to be the sad man. I will have to keep this secret buried inside me forever. Behind blue eyes.

Fin

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