A/N: My friend Ian is apparently convinced I'm going to go see Saw V with him. Um, no. After my past experiences with watching the Saw movies, you'd have to duct tape me down to the chair and clip off my eyelids. That gore-y detail (thank you, CSI: New York. My dreams are plagued now) brought upon this. So, happy early Halloween everyone.

Summary: What do lab rats do on their breaks during Halloween? They watch horror movies, of course! Too bad horror movies screw around with your head. Mostly, if not purely, crack. Takes place mid-season 8.

Disclaimer: Oh God I wish I owned CSI. I really do. But no. I don't. Anthony E. Zuiker does. And for that I envy him.

.:X:.
trick or treat
.:X:.

Jane Snyder was confused. So confused. She'd woken up in a dark cell, with puddles of a dark liquid (she refused to think the word "blood") in the corners of the room and shackles hanging from the walls. She tried to get up and cried out in pain as the manacles around her feet cut deep into her skin. She shivered. It was cold, dark, wet. She could barely see. It occurred to her that her boss had been with her when she was knocked out. She looked around. No one was there, no one at all.

A TV she hadn't noticed before turned on. There was static, nothing more, before it turned off again, bright circles blinking in front of her eyes. A creaking noise made her jump, the chains rattling, and she whirled around. A door was opening. Slowly, very very slowly. There was low breathing, and the drip drip drip of a liquid that was too thick to be water. She watched in horror as the door appeared to open by itself, nearly a centimeter every half a minute. "Help me," she whispered, knowing no one would heed the call. The breathing grew louder--

"Are you kidding me?"

Everyone in the break room jumped or shrieked, Henry positively tumbling out of the chair he'd been sitting in without so much as a peep. In the doorway was the lab's trace analyst, David Hodges, staring at the screen with one eyebrow raised in cynicism.

"Confinement?" He asked skeptically, staring at his wide-eyed colleagues as they all tried to get their breath back. "Okay, I understand the allure of horror movies, but this crap?"

Wendy, patting her chest to get her heartbeat back to normal, choked out, "Don't do that!"

"Don't do what?" he asked in surprise, watching Henry return shakily to his seat.

"Sneak up on us!" Archie said from the back of the room. "Seriously, man."

Hodges looked even more skeptical than before, a feat none of them thought he could manage.

"You are watching," he said slowly, tilting his head, "a horror movie in the break room, with light, and you are all scientists."

"Durin' the night shift," Bobby piped up, raising and taking a sip of coffee as though to emphasize his point.

"In a CSI lab," Mandy added. "On Halloween. It's not like we don't know stuff like this could happen."

Hodges rolled his eyes. "Oh please. You all disappoint me; Confinement isn't even that scary!"

"Says you," Wendy said. "Have you ever seen it?"

Drawing out the first word, Hodges said carefully, "I… may have seen bits and pieces. Never the whole thing." When they all exchanged mischievous looks he clarified hastily: "It was boring."

The techs nearest him—Bobby and Mandy—lurched up, grabbed him by the arms, and forced him down into a seat, while he said loudly, "I have no interest to see it! I am not watching it! You'd have to du—what is that?"

"Duct tape," Archie said slyly, holding up the roll on one finger. "You were saying?"

Hodges swallowed. "I'd be glad to watch Confinement with you all," he said through gritted teeth.

Unsurprisingly, after two minutes he said cagily, "Where did you even get this stupid movie?"

"Nick lent it to me," Archie said lightly as he swung the duct tape menacingly around his finger. "My penchant for slasher flicks has not gone unnoticed, apparently." He shrugged. "He said it was a good Halloween movie."

"And where are our lovely CSI friends, might I ask?" Hodges said eying the roll of tape edgily.

"They have a case… I think," Henry said, looking slightly puzzled. "None of us has gotten any evidence or anything to process—I can assume they haven't collected anything yet. Anyways, that's the only reason we actually have time to watch this."

Bobby nodded. "Dayshift's had plenty of work to do, I heard. Maybe we just got lucky t'night." He smirked at the thought of Ecklie and his cronies up to their necks in work while they all loitered.

Without warning, the lights flickered, and then went out, as did the TV and all the electrical appliances in the lab. Sounds of dismay and annoyance radiated throughout the lab. There was complete and total darkness. No one (and they tried) could see their hands two inches from their faces.

Ah, the night shift.

"Um," Henry's voice said. "What… what happened?"

"Beats me," Bobby's voice said.

There was the loud bang of skull to wood and they heard an obscenity followed by Greg Sanders saying irritably, "Alright, did we blow a fuse? I thought we had a back-up generator?"

Another bang, a thump, and a shout of pain. Apparently Hodges had gotten out his seat and toppled over a chair, crash-landing spectacularly.

"Please," Greg said, a smirk in his voice. "Don't get up on my behalf."

Hodges muttered something unintelligible, sounding very much like his face was pressed against carpeting.

Suddenly Grissom's voice echoed through the halls; apparently the CSI supervisor could sense the tension in the lab. The muttered complaints died away almost instantly. "Everyone quiet down. We've had a brief lapse in power," Grissom said calmly, even though no one was entirely sure where he was and that alone was enough for everyone to think there was no reason to be quiet (?). "There's no need to panic. We have plenty of emergency flashlights, and I imagine the power plant is working on the problem as we speak."

"Where are the flashlights?" someone said.

"Catherine's getting them now," Grissom replied.

"How will she find them in the dark?" another person said loudly, sounding as though they were towards the end of the hall.

There was a long pause while everyone thought about that one. That was certainly a need for panic.

"I'm sure she'll figure something out," Grissom's voice said finally. "She's resourceful."

There was a grunt as Hodges got up (or at least, that's what it sounded like) and said edgily, "Of course she will."

"Kiss-ass," Archie's voice said.

"If I could find you I would introduce you to the tabletop."

"Mm. I'm sure. After all, you got along so great with our floor, I'm sure the table loves you too."

A screech of a chair and there was another thump, followed by a clatter.

"…crap," Archie's voice said from the floor. "My shoelace got caught."

"On what?" Greg's voice said.

"Dunno. Probably the pole sticking out of Hodges's—OW!"

"You deserved it."

"You pushed me, what did you expect? That I would enjoy it?"

"No one cares. OW! Bastard!"

"What now?" Wendy's voice asked, sounding bored.

"He kicked me!"

"Oh the horror," Bobby's voice drawled.

"On the shin!"

"Guys," Henry's voice said, "shut up."

"I will not shut up, you jumpy little—"

"Shut UP, Hodges. Do you guys hear that?"

For the first time since the lights went out, there was silence.

"…I don't hear anything."

"Hodges, if you would shut that hole in your face you call a mouth, you might be able to."

There was a huff of breath, then silence again. After a moment, Hodges spoke again.

"Okay, so someone's phone is ringing. Big deal."

"I hate that Nokia ringtone," Archie's voice said. It sounded like he was trying to gnaw his shoelace off. "Ever since Jurassic Park III used it, it's been extremely irritating."

"Wait," Greg's voice said, sounding confused. "Nokia? I thought we all had Motorola."

Everyone thought about that, then Archie's voice said carefully, "We do."

"So… why is the Nokia ringtone playing in the hallway, and where the hell is it coming from? It's annoying the crap out of me."

"Search me. I just wish someone would kill it." Still working on that shoelace.

"Does anyone have their phone? We could use it as a light," Wendy's voice said. Everyone shook their heads, realized their mistake, then most of them said quickly, "No," or "It's in my lab."

"So no one has their cell?" Wendy's voice said exasperatedly. "And will SOMEONE SHUT OFF THAT PHONE?!"

The phone kept at it.

"Someone please shoot whoever has that phone," Greg's voice said. "I'm already on the brink of insanity by just working here; I don't need more therapy material."

Suddenly the ringtone stopped and everyone sighed in relief. "Hey, Grissom," Hodges said loudly. "When is Catherine getting back with those flashlights?"

No answer. If the lights had been on, everyone would've stared at each other, eyebrows raised. But they had to content themselves with doing so anyways, having no idea where they were looking. Hodges didn't even bother trying to get to the doorway; everyone had learned by now walking would only bring about pain.

"Grissom?"

Still nothing.

"Guys..." Bobby's Southern twang rang through the room. "Grissom… is here, right? I know we heard him before."

"He was," Henry's voice said nervously. "I dunno where he went."

"Um," Wendy's voice said. "This is really, really familiar."

"Familiar as in… how?" Greg's voice said.

"Familiar as in… I feel like this has happened before."

"No way in hell," Bobby's voice said. "We'd remember somethin' like this."

"Didn't something like this happen in the brainless movie you guys made me watch?"

"Shut up, Hodges."

"So when I make a point, I'm told to shut up?"

They could almost hear Mandy rolling her eyes as she said, "Believe it or not, Hodges does have a point."

There was silence.

"What?"

"Ya'll said Hodges was right. We never admit that out loud." Bobby's voice sounded stunned.

"For the record, I hate you all, and when I snap you'll be the first on my hit list."

They all thought about this for a minute.

"Hey, guys?"

There were a few intakes of breath as everyone was startled out of their thoughts.

"Sorry," Someone said, and there was a few sighs when they all realized they recognized the voice.

"Guys," David Phillips said, " I, uh, I can't find Grissom or Doc Robbins anywhere, and if the morgue doesn't get up and running again… well, let's just say it won't smell like roses. Just thought I'd warn you."

"Oh, that's wonderful," Hodges's voice said. "Superb."

"David… How did you find your way from the morgue?" Mandy's voice asked in wonder.

"I felt around like a blind man for ten minutes."

"Ah."

David sighed. "Pass on the message to Grissom or Doc Robbins if you s—hear them, would you? I've gotta find my way back to the morgue. If the power gets back up and Doc Robbins finds me out here instead of doing work… Well, in simple terms, I'll be screwed." There was a thump, an 'ow goddamnit—' and it was silent once more.

"Is it getting really really cold in here," Greg's voice said finally, "Or is it just my imagination?"

There was more silence.

"No," Mandy's voice said, but it was an agreeing 'no'. "No, you're right, Greg. It is getting chilly in here."

"Well, at least our dead corpse smell problem is gone," Hodges's voice said sarcastically.

"That's you, Hodges," Bobby said, a smirk in his voice. "Always lookin' on the bright side of life."

Before Hodges could shoot back a retort, there was a loud, mosquito-esque noise and everyone jumped. Static filled the TV screen and they could all dimly see themselves through the darkness. "Haha!" Archie shouted triumphantly. "Now I can get this stupid shoelace out of—" The TV went off once more and the AV specialist said some very colorful words.

"The lights, Grissom going AWOL, the temperature and now the TV," Greg's voice said, ignoring the obscenities floating idly from the ground. "Hodges is right."

"Two for two. I'm on a roll today."

"Don't get used to it."

Sighs all around.

"Either way, we are screwed up the ass with a crowbar unless we can find a way to get the stupid lights back on."

"What an unusual saying, Greg," Mandy's voice said, sounding bewildered.

"Matches our situation, though," Archie's voice mumbled, sounding extremely irritated.

"Grissom," Hodges said loudly, "if you're there, then, uh, we'd really appreciate someone getting to work on those lights!"

No one answered.

"Give it up, Hodges," someone said from outside the break room.

"In the movie," Henry's voice said thoughtfully, "What happened next?"

"I think—"

"Help me…" a bone-chilling voice whispered, chains rattled faintly, and there were thumps as everyone jumped in their seats. The entire lab was completely silent save for the voice. "Please, help me…" Whether it was a man or a woman, they couldn't tell, and they certainly didn't recognize whoever it was talking. In the darkness, they could hear someone quietly sobbing, and a door opening… slowly. Very, very slowly, almost as if whoever was opening the door wanted them to sweat it out, wanted them to be scared out of their wits—which they were, make no mistake—so they could...

None of them could finish the thought.

There was a soft drip, drip, drip of a liquid falling steadily into a puddle. A puddle, the techs thought in horror, of what? It continued to dribble softly.

The door continued to creak open while the lab technicians were motionless. "Please…help me… he wants to kill me, you're the only one that can help… plea--" The person was cut off, the dripping stopped, and it was completely and utterly silent. A pin could've dropped and they would've been able to hear it. Everyone waited, horrified.

A woman screamed and a chainsaw roared to life.

"SON OF A BITCH!" several of the techs shrieked.

The lights went back on and the techs all blinked at the scene unfolding before them. Archie sat on the ground, his left (and extremely mangled) shoelace wedged between the chair seat and the leg, covering his head with his arms. Henry had also returned to the floor, looking very much like he toppled out of his seat again. Bobby was rigid in his chair, eyes wide as saucers and gripping his seat like a lifeline, while Greg had both hands over his face, musing up his already wild hair. Wendy and Mandy both had their hands over their hearts, not breathing, and Hodges was in an odd impromptu kung-fu pose. Most of the lab technicians outside the break room had all ducked down behind their desks, or had dived headfirst underneath. Far off down the hallway, David was leaning against the wall with a shaking hand over his eyes, pushing his glasses up onto his forehead as he tried to get his heart to a somewhat normal rate again.

There in the hallway were Nick Stokes, Catherine Willows, Sara Sidle, and Warrick Brown standing there, all grinning widely, while Grissom stood off to the side by the thermostat, looking resignedly amused. Doc Robbins was there as well, standing near the door to the supply closet, also looking cheerful. Nick was holding chains in his hands, Warrick had a bucket of water and a dropper, and Catherine held a universal remote. Sara held a piece of paper wrapped up as a funnel to amplify her voice. Even Jim Brass stood there, holding a chainsaw without the chain and looking amused. Chainsaw pranks were common back in Jersey, after all.

Every lab technician stared, dumbstruck, at the CSIs, homicide captain and main coroner as it all started to come together. Hodges (of course) was the first to find his voice, lowering his hands and leg.

"Ah… y-you tricked us," he stuttered. "I get it… ha…" Everyone laughed nervously, most of them sounding slightly hysterical.

"I am never--" Archie said shakily to Nick, who chuckled, "—borrowing a movie from you ever again."

"We managed to talk everyone into it," Sara said, beaming. "I didn't think it would work, personally."

"How… how d-did ya'll…" That was all Bobby could manage, still holding onto his chair for dear life.

Catherine shook her head. "We're not telling, cowboy. Sorry."

"So… who used the cell phone…?" Greg said suspiciously as he stared at their hands, and the CSIs all looked at each other.

"A cell phone wasn't part of the prank," Warrick said, eyebrow raised. "We never used one."

Everyone in the lab, including the CSIs, Robbins and Brass, exchanged glances, and then looked as one at Grissom, who smiled his usual smile, albeit almost wicked this time as he shrugged.

"Happy Halloween, everyone."

.:X:.
end
.:X:.

A/N: Now, I don't know about you, but if this ever happened to me I would loose my mind.

The ending with Brass is so out of character it makes me laugh. I thought about using Ecklie, but decided not to. (I had to slip David in there, 'cause he's so gosh-darn lovable.) Reviews are wicked (in the good way) and make me happy!