Disclaimer: I do not own Kurt or Kitty. (sigh)
Did you ever get the feeling that the people around you were wearing masks? That they were hiding what they really felt and thought from everyone?
I have.
Take Rogue for example: she always acts like she's completely indifferent. Like she doesn't care what happens to her or the people around her.
Like she doesn't care who she hurts.
I know she's lying.
She cares every time one of us gets hurt. She cares when Logan disappears on one of his trips. She's never the same when he leaves you know.
And what about Scott?
He puts up the act of being strong, the perfect leader, always serious.
I can see he just wants to relax and have some fun. Maybe go for a joy ride in his car instead of following all the speed limits and rules.
He wants to take Jean and kiss her and tell her he loves her.
He'll never tell her how he really feels.
And what of the greatest actor of the all?
Well that's Kurt Wagner.
My best friend.
The goofball and self proclaimed King of Pranks.
He's such a good actor.
I can see, sometimes, he just wants to scream. He wants to yell and curse at the world that has given him such a terrible hand.
He always acts calm, like he doesn't care that he looks like a demon, that he doesn't care who his mother is.
He wants to end it all.
People will sometimes forget what's under the hologram. When they jump at the feel of his fur, he wants to yell at them, remind them that he's still human. That he doesn't deserve to be scorned just because of how he looks.
He doesn't.
He brushes it off like it doesn't matter.
It does.
I've seen him at night. He'll climb down the mansion walls and bound into the forest.
He's trying to outrun his fear and anger.
He's trying to outrun us.
During training sessions, I can see he's holding back.
He could probably floor someone faster than a gloveless Rogue.
Once he almost took a snap at Scott, I could see it in his eyes.
It surprised me…but it didn't scare me.
I've always been the worst of everyone. I didn't give him a chance.
I shied away from his touch; I was scared by the very sight of him.
He doesn't scare me anymore.
He means everything to me.
I worry whenever he runs off.
I love when I see a real smile on his face.
No one but me realizes how rare those really are.
I can see him now; he's crawling down to the ground.
He hates that he can do that, but he loves it at the same time.
So do I.
I follow him down, drifting quietly through the stone and wood like it was air or water.
He's moving slowly tonight, that's to be expected I guess, he's thinking about something.
He doesn't hear me, not yet.
Eventually though, my cover is blown when I step on a stick.
It cracks under my foot and he whips around.
His tail lashes, his eyes are glowing; he is seconds away from baring his fangs and growling at me…
But I can't find it in myself to be scared.
"Hey Kurt." I greet him calmly and he relaxes, he can trust me.
He's trying to put up his mask, but he can't.
It falls when he's around me.
"Just another midnight stroll?" he hasn't said anything yet.
I can't tell if that's a good thing or not.
"Ja, I couldn't sleep." It's his regular reply.
It's one I hate; it means he's had a nightmare that he can't get out of his mind.
I walk up next to him; he's taller than me by a head.
I take his hand and pull him over to the garden that Ororo tends to oh so lovingly.
He follows, looking confused.
I smile gently at him as I let go of his hand to lie down on the cool grass. The moon washes everything with a white, ethereal light.
He lies beside me, shoulder to shoulder we stare at the sky.
"You want to talk about it?" I question.
He looks to me in surprise; he didn't know anyone could see through his act.
His smile is small, but true.
I think he's glad I can.
His lips are soft against my forehead.
"Maybe later." He whispers and lays back.
I'm content with that.
Because he's my Fuzzy Elf.
And I'm his Katzchen.
We're made for each other.
And I'll be here whenever he needs someone.
He doesn't look like he wants to attack anyone or scream anymore.
He looks peaceful.
I curl closer to him and he wraps his arms around me.
He doesn't look angry, he doesn't look scared.
He isn't going to try and run from us tonight.
That would mean leaving me.
He would never leave me.
He loves me.
And I love him.
He's taken off his mask for me.